To Write Love on Her Arms

What I found out was something I already knew.

Jul. 10, 2010 at 12:45pm

Chloe reflects on Bamboozle Roadshow

“I lost my cousin to suicide three days ago.” - West Palm Beach, FL

“My daughter cuts and I don’t know why.” - Arlington, TX

“I’m schizophrenic and have been suicidal for the past few years, but I have hope." - Houston, TX

“My best friend is going into treatment this week. She’s been going in and out of centers for the past four years. I just want to help her.” - San Antonio, TX

“I’m bipolar and I passed it on to both my children.” - Clarkston, MI

“All I want to do is stop. Everyone is scared but I don’t know what to do.” - Charlotte, NC

---

Thank you. I wish there was something deeper or more profound to say to those of you who visited the TWLOHA table and shared your story at The Bamboozle Roadshow this year. But nothing feels like it’s quite enough or conveys how truly grateful my heart is for having met all of you. The comments above are just a few of the many stories I was fortunate enough to hear during the six-week tour.

The main reason we go on the road so much is to meet people where they are – to hear their hearts, and to present them with the idea, sometimes new, sometimes not so new, that they don’t have to live their lives alone. One of the biggest honors for me (and I’m comfortable saying this for our team as well) is being someone that a complete stranger trusts enough to share their darkest moments with. It’s beautifully overwhelming to be a person someone feels safe talking to about their struggles after only a brief introduction of names. My hope is that in these exchanges they (and possibly you) feel a bit of freedom from pain, and a sense of understanding. I also hope that you are able to be on the receiving end of conversations like this, to be someone that someone else needs.

I left for this tour with a heavy heart and hoped that the road would make it light again. What I found out was something I already knew. It wasn’t the road that was making things easier, it was people; seeing old friends, making new ones, and meeting all of you. It was sharing TWLOHA and parts of myself with others. “Your story is important.” We say that a lot because it’s true. What you have to say, and what you’ve experienced deserves to be known by others.

I wish for you this summer, and all the days after, that you have someone to share your story with.

With Love,
Chloe

P.S. Thank you to Bamboozle for letting us join your traveling summer camp. Thank you to so many of the artists for being curious about what we do, for wanting to get involved, or for showing continued support. We’re grateful for our friends in Boys Like Girls, Forever The Sickest Kids, Third Eye Blind, LMFAO, The Ready Set, and Cady Groves who all rocked TWLOHA at some point during the tour. And a big thank you to my dear friend Martin of Boys Like Girls for wearing a TWLOHA shirt everyday of the tour and for all of your support.

Posted in Journal, Merch, Music by Chloe Grabanski

Comments (18)

I love your blogs Chloe they are very well written, and they always embody all parts of the twloha mission statement.

1 | Left by Stephanie | Jul. 10, 2010 at 11:51am

agreed, I love the blogs by Chloe. They are so real, and moving.

2 | Left by Hannah | Jul. 10, 2010 at 1:07pm

amazing, i wish i could have been there. Very well writtin.

3 | Left by Xandra | Jul. 10, 2010 at 1:33pm

sometimes...When you find something out..yes u already knew it. You just didnt want to face it. Because sometimes it's easier to go through life acting as though there are no cracks at all in their world's fake innocense.

4 | Left by ally....always and froever :( | Jul. 11, 2010 at 2:17pm

Please help. I don't have depression, but my father has experienced it. What is even more difficult is that he has other personality disorders and has hurt my sisters and I very much over the last few years. We are hurting, and avoiding him at all costs, which I know is hurting him in a huge way. For some reason I find it difficult to even talk to him now, even though I know he needs love from us. I wish I could find it in my heart to speak to him or just say hello. What makes me more anxious to do this is that he hurts us each time we've even done this.

5 | Left by Jem | Jul. 11, 2010 at 5:52pm

Beautiful. Thank you, Chloe.

6 | Left by Kendra | Jul. 12, 2010 at 8:27am

Beautiful. Thank you, Chloe.

7 | Left by Kendra | Jul. 12, 2010 at 12:04pm

Jem,
Please know that I am writing this to you as someone who has had anger struggles. I hope you will e-mail twloha, I have and they send very nice messages. I struggle with depression,cutting, obsessive hand washing and repeating actions. I hope that you will send an message to twloha. Just click on the contact link at the bottom. I hope you do not resort to self-destructive behavior to cope with your pain. I hope you know your father still loves you. I think from your comment you do. I hope that you have a great day.
In regret of my anger,
Stephanie

8 | Left by Stephanie | Jul. 12, 2010 at 5:21pm

Jem I also aplogize my comment is repetitive I meant well in saying that I care, and that you should e-mail the charity. I hope that you understand what kind of hell depression is, and realize we still love those who we hurt.

9 | Left by Stephanie | Jul. 13, 2010 at 6:02am

These blogs are moving.
I just hope I get the chance to tell you my story one day.

10 | Left by Rachael | Jul. 17, 2010 at 9:46pm

I have shared my story with my friends I trust the most. And they still accepted me. I have always seen myself as a fuck up. But I'm trying to move past that...

11 | Left by Chloe | Aug. 2, 2010 at 5:47pm

My friend has attempted suicide.failed.wanted to do it again, i knew he wasnt right that night, so gave him a call. he was about to attempt again....he said "the only reason i picked up was to hear a nice person one last time" i talked him out of it somehow ...i think God was a miracle worker. but what if i didnt call? what if i dont call next time? what till happen? *love God*

-peace, em♥

12 | Left by Emm | Sep. 9, 2010 at 4:16pm

I have cut my self for a while and tried to commit suicide. I couldn't do it because I knew my friends would miss me. God had rescued me and I am back to my normal self. Please listen to the people around you because they do care.
Please come to Iowa because we would love to hear your stories.

13 | Left by Mindy Jill | Sep. 9, 2010 at 9:21pm

Jesus christ is great, God is the holy spirit, lamb of God, alpha and omega, almighty, powerful, loving, miracle worker, Glorius, miraculous, splendor, king of kings, lord of lords, bold, forgiving, pure, redeemer, faithful, holy, companion, beautiful, gentle, humble, selfless, atonement, creator, divine, sinless, merciful, GOD IS EVERYTHING. PERFECT IN LOVE. -2corinthians 12:9

14 | Left by Em♥ | Sep. 27, 2010 at 1:12pm

its so moving wen you here how the people who suffer feel...

15 | Left by Marissa | Oct. 1, 2010 at 8:36am

I cut. And suffer from severe depression and anxiety. It started around last October, 2009. I have been in and out of hospitals since then. I went about two months without cutting, but around the same time as last year, i started all my old habbits again.(in 2010) I started cutting, isolating myself, and having suicidal thoughts. I just want the pain to go away! I am very talented i've been told. I write songs and poetry, sing, dance, I've played the violin for 5 years, and play piano. I try to do all of those to cope. But somehow the razor blade ends up in hand instead of my microphone, or pencil. I just want help, but I'm scared. I never know what's going to happen, and always terrified to know.

16 | Left by Tunde | Nov. 11, 2010 at 2:41pm

i lost my mom 7 years ago, to suicide. & ever since i have cut daily. i don't know how to deal with all the problems i have. i'm on several medications for anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, & schizophrenia. i want help, i really do. but i'm scared to tell the people who really love me, i don't need the judgment. :(

17 | Left by kristadawn:) | Jan. 4, 2011 at 7:14am

i cut. have for the past 3 years & i lost my bestfriend to suicide & it killed me inside & i can't do that to the people who love & care for me.

18 | Left by ihavehopeee | Jan. 22, 2011 at 8:45pm

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