I'm so sorry. :/ I hope all are doing better with coping. Nicole is such a strong, beautiful woman for being so courageous! Her story touched my heart.

1 | Left by Amanda | Nov. 21, 2009 at 11:09am

i almost committed suicide. i'm thankful i didn't.
twloha has helped me to see how precious life really is.
thank you for posting this today jamie. so many need to hear it. ♥

2 | Left by liz | Nov. 21, 2009 at 11:15am

This is beautiful. Stories like these serve to remind us why we fight so hard for this movement. People suffer, even months, even years after these tragedies occur. It's wonderful that we now have a way to help heal.

Thank you for this and I apologize for your loss. And thank you to Nicole as well who was brave enough to tell her story to those who needed to hear it.

3 | Left by Lauren | Nov. 21, 2009 at 11:27am

This day hits home closer than anything. My father committed suicide when I was 16, I am now 25. To this day I grieve his loss and pray for anyone who stands on the edge of suicide.
My heart goes out to those have have experienced anything pertaining to suicide. Suicide awareness is something that burdens my heart, it is a reality that I carry daily. My hope is that if you are struggling and living on the edge of taking your life, please get help. Fight the good fight. Their is too much beauty to quit. God is real. Love is real. Don't let life get you down. You deserve better.

I love you Dad! I'm fighting for those who walk in the same shoes you once carried.

Please don't give up hope. Titus 2:11-13 Psalm 42:11

4 | Left by Melanie | Nov. 21, 2009 at 1:28pm

wow.
i have a friend named zeke that tried to kill himself in 2006 that sounds a bunch like this zeke.
when i think of how that could have been him just gives me chills.

5 | Left by jen | Nov. 21, 2009 at 5:02pm

Almost three years ago my mum attempted suicide, she survived. I still feel that I'm a suruvor of suicide, because after that day, she was dead to me. She now means nothing to me.
She took an overdose four days after I was 16, I'm now almost 19.
This event has affected me in so many ways. It has meant hat I've been unable to trust people, anyone. It has made me feel alone and unwanted, which has made my personality often arrogant.
I also self-harm to deal with my pain, as it's a different way of dealing with it, aside from emotionally beating myself.

6 | Left by Jordan | Nov. 22, 2009 at 4:05am

this is such a sad story. my thoughts and prayers are sent out for jamie and nicole. i really hope you guys realize how much you inspire people to keep moving forward, and that we all still have hope...

7 | Left by Nicole | Nov. 22, 2009 at 9:25am

my dad commmitted suicide when i was nine. being so young i didnt quite understand what was going on and what was wrong. or course it has caused alot of buried hurt and issues to arrise. but i can say at almost 18yrs old i am learning to deal with my problems and excited to see what god has in stored for me in my fast approaching future :) because the choice i make now have after affects and i want to make positive choices and have a positive outlook on life. no matter how much my dad destroyed mine.

8 | Left by Jessica | Nov. 22, 2009 at 9:25am

I have been suffering from depression and self injury since i was nine. i am still alive today but just barely. i have attemped twice. for some reason though God wont take me away. It has been almost 3 months since my last cut. and the temptation is still there but it is reading these stories that keeps me from it. (:

9 | Left by Morgan | Nov. 23, 2009 at 7:19am

i know im loved. that doesnt keep the thoughts of commiting suicide outta my head. i dont wana hurt my family, i know they love me, but im miserable.

10 | Left by it doesnt matter | Nov. 24, 2009 at 5:58pm

Incredible. Zeke sounds like one amazing guy, and its clear that he was well-loved.
Jamie you never cease to amaze me with your view of things and the never-ending hope you offer to so many people around the world. Thankyou.

11 | Left by Katie | Nov. 25, 2009 at 6:47am

I don't know why, but reading this just really helped it hit for me that..."we are all more loved than we'll ever know"...thank you Jaime and TWLOHA for all that you do, it is crazy how much youv'e done for so many people, simply crazy.

12 | Left by Krissy | Nov. 25, 2009 at 7:57pm

it doesnt always have to be a struggle to do something that is heathy and not live so do something u never imagined going and u will have dreams that will come true

13 | Left by krisitna | Nov. 26, 2009 at 1:50pm

I've attempted suicide and came really close to my last breath to but God gave me a second chance....that didn't stop me though i started self injurying but i don't anymore ive been cut free for about a month ive been getting really strong urges i told my friend and he gave me this website my urges arent as bad anymore and this website has helped me so much....thank you =)

14 | Left by happy thtt im alive | Nov. 27, 2009 at 2:55pm

every time i read stories like these i cry. i think the song why by rascal flatts really relates to this situation. i've lost 1 friend to suicide and it hurts because i didnt know that he was dealing with these problems. it's just like could i have said something and turned this around? i thank you guys so much for everything you do. i also must say that i've struggled with self injury for since i was 11. i was thinking about attempting suicide at 13, but i recovered and am now telling my story to others, and helping them understand that self mutilation is wrong. i've taken a dark time in my life and turned it into a way to help others. i'm just so glad that god helped me turn my life around, and wouldn't take me. happy to say that i've been cut free for a little over a year. i'm almost 14 now and i realize that the world isn't that bad a place. thank you for everything you guys do. i looove all of yoou.

15 | Left by Kaycee | Nov. 29, 2009 at 8:25pm

I've known a number of young people that have comitted suicide, too many to believe. TWLOHA is so important, the message of hope is so important. I'm glad I found TWLOHA and I'm glad so many young people did too. HOPE. LOVE. LIFE.

16 | Left by Rob | Nov. 30, 2009 at 1:09pm

My younger cousin committed suicide early in the morning on July 17, 2009. He was 18 years old. I am so very hurt by this. I was so vain to think that suicide would never effect my life. I was wrong. I miss him so very much. Just knowing that he is not here anymore...it hurts. I will never know the silent pain that he endured during the last days of his life. I just wish that I could go back to the Tuesday before his death when he came to my house to pick up my little sister to take her to the mall. I wish I could go back and tell him that I love him and I would miss him if anything ever happened to him. How I wish I could go back to that day. Because of this, I have learned that each day is a blessing and to LOVE all the people that are around me with all of my Heart.

17 | Left by Sunshine | Nov. 30, 2009 at 5:38pm

um i read some of those comments and they nealy made me cry but at the momebt im on the verge of suicide and yea well this web site is realy good

18 | Left by chris | Dec. 1, 2009 at 2:21pm

i know someone who tried to kill himself. he was 14, he had the gun in his mouth, but it got jammed and didn't go off. now he is 17, and living life to the fullest. i just want to make sure everybody knows that life is worth living

19 | Left by will | Dec. 2, 2009 at 8:44am

i tried to commit suicide. i took 41 sleeping pills and then waited. after three minutes i remembered all the people who loved me and i tried vomiting them up. i got the cops called on me and was rushed to the hospital. i think back and wish that i had someone there that would have stopped me. i luckily have no damage but i definitely respect my life and realize that i do have a purpose just like everyone else does.

20 | Left by Jordan | Dec. 2, 2009 at 10:32am

I've self harmed for many years, I recently just quit. I tried to kill myslef a couple times. Life IS worth it

21 | Left by Jody | Dec. 3, 2009 at 7:02am

When i was 4 and my uncle commited suicde by taking 100 pills and some other stuff i won't go into. Since that day, suicide has been a big part of my life.
I started to self harm was i was 10 and took 30 odd pills when i was 13.I've been addicted to painkillers and pot, but thats now in the past. Since then I've been diagnosed with bi polar, i have had another attempt and have been on and off self harm every few weeks.
Luckily i've just stopped cutting again.
Suicide will never leave me. Not because i feel like that now, but because it made me so much stronger. I am alive today thanks to my experiances and i will never EVER let myself get like that again. I wear my scars with pride because without them, i wouldn't be here today.
stay strong everyone. i know it doesn't feel like it now, but your life is so precious. Remind yourself that you are worth more than this, because you are. life is worth it.

22 | Left by Katie | Dec. 3, 2009 at 1:10pm

Last year, I started having self-esteem issues and cutting to punish myself and take out agressions. Also, they were kind of there to get attention, to see if anyone would notice. If anyone would care. I also had an ex-friend who went through this the year before. And though I didn't know this at the time, one of my sisters and the other later in the year both went through this last year, along with one of my sisters boyfriend's but they're all okay now. There was the cutting. This started mid-October. December 5, 2008, I attmepted suicide, but I heard a voice say not to do that and I knew, I KNEW it was God. I only remember those days from crying myself to sleep almost every night, looking at the bloody wrist. From then, I tried to stop cutting which I only have broken once. I've gotten much closer to God. However, the person I thought I was in love with left me shortly after this and I was extremely heartbroken. I began to worry about myself and confessed to my friend that I was suicidal, and at that ponit, it was hard for both of us to understand and for a long time she thought it was just because of the love which she thought was stupid.Everytime I talked to her I cried and that's the reason I once broke the cutting. But 5 days after the love left me, I met the REAL love and we both fell for each other immediately. I forget everything sad when I'm with him, he always can make me smile. He saved my life February 15, 2009. However, a few months later, I found out I had anxiety disorder. I cried every night, scared I was going to die (which is a bit ironic). In the past year, I've been depressed, a self-harmer, suicidal, and had anxiety disorder. More of my friends know about being suicidal now and are awkwardly supportive usually. But even if you feel like everyone on this world has turned its back on you, even if you don't have someone like this person who saved me, God is there. Dark times will pass. You have a mission on this Earth. We're sent here to learn to love, to find our talents and use them to help others and to stand for what we believe in. You can start from there. I never actually went through consueling and personally don't want to, just becasue I don't like the idea of therapy,but I treat myself with exercise and joining a small group at my church. We have our bad days. We have our bad times.But we're never alone and things will brighten up one day. It's all going to be okay. I've known 2 alcoholics, 5 self-harmers, 4 suicidal people, one girl who was anorexic who almost died, and one girl who has been raped. They're all better now, the girl who got raped is recovering from the trauma. There is music, God and, believe it or not, people who actually care in this world. Happiness is possible to come again. It's going to be all right.

23 | Left by Anon | Dec. 3, 2009 at 2:33pm

im depressed. and idk what to do. i lost my friends because my best friend decided to turn against me..i had the life i wanted now its gone. i have noo grandparents, and im having a bat mitzvahh with none of them now. and my family, i have a normal life with them but they dont love me i can tell. they fight 24/7 and my moom does pot which upsets me. i would seek help but i cant cuz icant tell my family.

24 | Left by jenna | Dec. 5, 2009 at 8:26pm

Jenna, everyone is distracted from what is important. They all love you Jenna, it's just that they take life for granted. They also search for their own happiness through worldly pleasures. Jenna, everyone is confused and mixed up, including our parents and friends. We as children, look to our parents for guidance and security, and often we find the same mixed up confused mentality that everyone has. Our friends have their own problems, their own personalities, their own insecurities, and they are looking for a way to survive. In the process of their pursuit of happiness and survival, they hurt people. You get hurt, and they also get hurt from other people. If you really look at the truth, you cannot blame anyone, because they are all searching for the same thing, which is happiness. Depression is a cry for love and understanding. Try to understand why everything is the way it is and try to love yourself and try to love everyone else, whether they want to be loved or not. Educate yourself, get smart, rise above the sadness, the confusion, and the ignorance of the world. It is the only way to exist with peace. Our ignorance keeps us down, but you and everyone else has the power to elevate yourself to a higher standard of living.

No one important

25 | Left by no one important | Dec. 11, 2009 at 10:18am

I have anxiety and deppression and it is extremely hard to deal with. No one at my schools knows so they don't know what im going through and I have givin in to cutting about 3 diffrent times before my mom found out and took me to a therapist. There i figured out that self harming is really wrong. Im still trying to figure out what I should do and how to do it but I still got nothing.I have serious self esteem issues and am very self concious so its hard to just go through everyday life. I have never tryed to kill my self because I know life is worth it even though it seems like hell sometimes But when I found this site it gave me hope showing me that theres alot of people that go through what Im going through.Thank you TWLOHA

26 | Left by Sarah | Dec. 12, 2009 at 4:19pm

Sarah, I am sorry for your depression and anxiety. Please do not give up hope; try not to resist the things that are good in your life. Be very open to your therapist and tell your feelings. The therapist cannot help unless you open up to him or her. Yes, you are right; life is worth living; I think life is for understanding why we live. Life is painful, and we can't control everything, and we are confused. Try to ask why, ask why to your self, or to God; be patient with yourself and let the questions be answered through time. I promise, if you asked the question a lot, the answers will eventually come.

Your friend

27 | Left by Your friend | Dec. 12, 2009 at 9:24pm

Reading some of these comments really gets to me, so many of you are going through such intense problems, trust me I know how bad they can be, I've dealth with the anxiety, the depression, and even some cutting but you NEED know that it gets better, stick it out, don't give up. My dad just recently committed suicide and my life was shattered just as I was getting to be doing better. I am devestated and left with sooo many regrets, questions, and pain. Please don't do that to your families, you have nooo idea how it impacts them until you've been there and its the worst thing you could ever do to them. Even if you feel like you don't have that's there for you, do it for yourself, because regardless of what you may think your life is worth living. Fight it, give it time to work out, seek help- I certainly wish someone would have said that to my daddy.

28 | Left by Anon | Dec. 12, 2009 at 10:06pm

I feel really bad now I used to feel like I wanted to die all the time becasue I realize now I have hurt people and caused worry in people and that if my family found me dead after figuring out how to open my door I locked before trying to choke myself, it would really hurt them, worse than I felt. I feel sorry you lost your father, you are very right in saying what you did. But in the end, the bad feelings, bad memories, bad experiences are all gone and we are left with the good times. When we go to heaven, everything will finally be perfect. No loss, no sadness. But here is where we belong now. We have a mission on this world and we must do it. I know it'll all be okay now. The bad will pass, trust me.

29 | Left by Anon | Dec. 13, 2009 at 12:34pm

It's sad how people take their lives. :'( i wish ur friend wouldn't have. but i can't say anything i'm only 13 and i feel depressed. i can't even really tell anyone what the definition of depression is... But i know i've been cutting and trying to take my life for the passed three years and my parents probably feel like crap because of me. If i could tell all other people that think of taking their lives one thing, i would say it's not worth it because for me all the pain built up makes just picking up a blade or piece of glass steal my last breathe. I'm with you. I know what your going through. And even though I might not wake up tomorrow, please just promise me and yourself that you'll wake up breathing and smiling tomorrw. :-) there is hope.
from the weird 13 year old-Deja-*

30 | Left by Deja (but my friends call me joey) | Dec. 23, 2009 at 4:54pm

hello. im danielle. i have a sister who has gotten into bad things like drugs and drinking she has gone to a week recovery and a 30 day rehab to stay away from suicide. her horrid boyfriend had introduced her to all of this. they were about to break up but she yelp " do you want me to kill myself" several times. i hadent shed a tear. i am young and confused. this was a mind game to me. i had not understood. i have tried to kill myself before as i thought it was nothing. i have learned bi polar depression kills; and that was what my sister had; she became insomniac; no one understood me; they payed attention to her and not me; although i wouldnt enjoy selfeshness; i have done many of the same things as her and experienced so many things yet no one knows; this is my story; today i write this in sorrow on the 29th on december last night-this morning i had came close to the face of death; suicide; ive learned. i lived; you helped

31 | Left by danielle. | Dec. 30, 2009 at 12:00pm

Hello,
my name is Ivan,at 13 yaers old i saw my Uncle drown and my Father barely survive,I stood hopelessly stranded on a power house wall surounded by water.Before this happened I was happy go lucky.As a child the doctors said I was hyperactive they put me on ritilan.Just 3 years later I flipped out and became abusive and sucidal after my high school sweetheart left me, then I made my first attempt, I was drunk and high but i had also been taken off medications for hada.My family has 2 previos suicides in it My great,great,grandad,my great granmother and my father.My father had an excedingly high IQ and would not take medicine even for a headache.He tried to kill himself and I found him 2 times, the second time was horror,this I would have thought would bring us closer to each other but he withdrew and was angry with me.On July the fourth 2000 my father finaly died by his own depression.Yes I felt hopeless and worthless ,I became a crack cocaine addict and didn`t want to live.I had reached the point of no return I walked into the woods took 9000mg of thorizine,somehow my wife at the time called a freind to look for me,his dog found me they got me to my yard before I stopped breathing the paramedics were there to save me and I tried over and over.When you are depressed and have thoughts of suicide or you can`t stop your brain there is help these symptoms are deadly,so please get help think of it as a flu in your brain you would go to a doctor for that it`s the same thing an illness,DO NOT BE ASHAMED I only hope more people sought help.I understand the money,the meds it`s not fun sometimes you have to change meds 3maybe upto 5 times before you get one that realy works DO IT ANYWAY.Live to see another day because every time I hear the word sucide I go into a depression,panic attacks and relive it all from 13 to 35.Now I see my doctor on a regular basis a I don`t lie to him so he has been able to help me along with meds for my illness.Finding my father dead will leave me with unanswered questions forever PLEASE DON`T DO THAT TO YOUR FAMILY AND FREINDS, they are not better off without you my father could be helping me now instead I have memory of horror.

32 | Left by ivan rockenbaugh | Jan. 17, 2010 at 6:09pm

Hey, man. I just want you to know, you mean a lot to me, and everyone else out there, that either is or is not willing to open and share their troubles and pains, and their heartaches and failures. You are an inspiration man. I LOVE you brother. Your awesome :). I just was sitting at the local library here in Norman, Oklahoma, reading the Rolling Stones magazine, and you were in there. I wish I could, and would like to join you sometime soon, if I could and can. I would like to join you in your encouragement and support of the nation's youth, and our struggling teens, and older folks as well, who all deal with this same issue. I never knew what "To write Love on her Arms" was, until today. Nobody ever told me. I just assumed that it was some cute and pop/punk boy band, that all the girls, and young guys like. But now I know you are standing for something GREATER than LIFE. You are standing for the SAKE of LOVE. I LOVE you man. JESUS LOVES you. You are a faithful brother, and I hope to see you soon :).

33 | Left by David Johnson | Jan. 19, 2010 at 1:50pm

Why is cutting so goddamn addicting?

34 | Left by Sarah | Apr. 17, 2010 at 7:11pm

Right now I am 15 years old, and i'm very much so dealing with depression, emptiness, the feeling of lonliness... I broke up with my boyfriend a few months ago, and it took a really big tole on my life. I felt like no one cared about me anymore. My parents say that they love me, but then they tell me i'm useless... whats with that.. I have been cutting myself since i was in 7th grade.I am in 10th grade now. I told my friend who had the same problem last year and all he does is blame all the stuff that happens on me!!! I have tried to commit suicide more then 10 time.. I seem to wear this mask that nobody knows what im really feeling... When im alone in the dark i get so sad... I am bi polar and all of this stress, hurt and pain is making me go crazy.. my friends tell me i need help and to go and see a therapist, but i dont want to tell a stranger my problems. I just dont really know what to do.. I havent been close to god at all!!! But there are days when TWLOHA has really helped me!!!

35 | Left by Kelly | Jul. 5, 2010 at 5:10pm

Think Before You Say – By Mallory Wilhelm
They say that actions speak louder than words,
If that is the case,
Why do they cause so much
Heartache and Pain?
Why does that happen so frequently?
Why are the words worth so many tears?

Let’s take this into consideration.

There was a girl.
She was beautiful.
You had the nerve to tell her
That she was
Worthless.
You told her that
She didn’t have the ability
To do anything in life.
You told her that she wasn’t pretty
And that no one would even consider
Falling for her
Because they couldn’t take the
HUMILIATION.



You thought nothing of it,
But she listened to you.
She fell for your stupidity.
She went home that day
And cried
For hours
Locked behind closed doors
Drowning in her tears
Because she felt as if she
She wasn’t good enough
To face any human being that walked
This Earth.

She no longer saw
A reflection of beauty
In the mirror.
She saw the one
That you made her believe.
One of pure disgust,
One of pure self-hatred,
One who was worth
NOTHING
All because of your sly remarks.
Months passed.
The Depression became more and more
Oppressing.
She tried getting better,
But she always
Let the DEPRESSION
Have the higher power.
It made the decisions for her
Because she was too weak to even try.

One day
All of those tears and all of that pain
Became too much for the girl.
She had to find an escape.
She needed a release
Because the
Heart breaking punches of life
That had suddenly been thrown at her had
Shattered every fiber of her being.

She searched for a
RAZORBLADE.
She began to feel
The blood.
She became numb.
She did this because she felt
That nothing else could stop the
Agonizing pain.
She did this because she felt
That no one cared anymore.
This escape
Was temporary happiness.
But what she didn’t know
Is that it was all in her head.

This became a cycle.
An addiction
A high.
It never stopped.
It only made her worse.

Do you see what you’ve done?
Can you possibly fathom the amount of
Pain that you’ve caused this girl?

You acted as if your
Calamitous words
Would have
No affect at all.
If only you knew
The trauma
That you had caused.

More time passed.
You saw the girl again.
You had the nerve to tell her
That she was the worst thing
That you’ve ever seen.
You said that she should
Die and never come back.
Just like all of those other times,
You thought nothing of it.

A few days passed.
She wasn’t at school.
She was on your mind.
You felt so ridiculous.
You felt so cruel.
She wasn’t there
Because of you.

You ran to her house that day.
You walked in and saw
Her parents and brother
Crying.
You asked what had happened.
You were informed that
She had pulled the trigger.
Tears began to well up in your eyes.
You had broken family ties.
You had caused pain.
You had caused suffering.
You had caused death
All because of the careless words
That came from your lips.

It was too late.
You should’ve stopped
You shouldn’t have said
Those painful words.
You shouldn’t have been sly
And not cared.
You shouldn’t have made her feel
Like she was good for nothing.
Now nothing is all that is left.

Words can lead
To such fatal actions.
Words can lead
To grief.
Words can lead
To sorrow.
Words can lead
To pain.
So I want you
To think before
You say.

*I wrote this poem to let people know that suicide is a serious thing and you don't know how many hearts you'll break by the words that you say. You always have to be sensitive to others feelings because you never know how much the words you say can affect a person. I hope that you take this poem seriously and do what I advise; Think before you say. I want people to know that there is hope in this world for healing and that they ARE beautiful. They don't need to end their lives just because someone said or did something that hurt. They can talk it out and let others know how they are feeling. They can let others know that the pain is too much. They don't have to take it out on themselves. They need to realize how many people love them until they're gone. They need to know that God loves them unconditionally and that when He sees them hurt, He'll wrap his arms around them and give them comfort. They need to know that prayer isn't useless. They need to know that if they need a hand to hold, people around them will be there; They love you and care about you more than you'll ever know. I want people to know that I care. I want to help them get better. I want to help them with the fight. I want to help them stay strong. I want them to see that God is on their side. I want them to know that they can say that they're hurting without being afraid that no one will be there;people are there. God is there all of the time. I want them to know that I love them with all of my heart and I'm willing to help whoever I can however I can. I want to make the can turn into a will. I want them to see the beauty in living. I want them to love life. I want them to keep the faith. I want them to feel hope. I want them to feel the love. Love is the movement. Stop The Bleeding. It can't wait until tomorrow, start today, now. Heal the broken.

36 | Left by mallory :) | Apr. 10, 2011 at 5:15pm