This entry inspired me so much. It is so well written.

1 | Left by Jessica | Sep. 19, 2008 at 3:09pm

Renee is amazing.
iv been wacthing all the videos i found of her.

andd lookinn at the blogs.
and reading about her.
shess actually becoming more of a hero to me the more i read about her and learn.
she is really in insperation to me.
and im 14.
i can already relate to alot of the things shes been talking about that she went trhough.
and her words are so powerful to me.
thanks.

2 | Left by Jessica | Sep. 23, 2008 at 7:41am

hey I just wanna say
Renee has been such an inspration to me. I know alot of people say that, but they all mean it.
I mean it. because the first time I found out about twloha, I think it was on my friend's myspace, on her top friends. I saw it and had no idea what it was about. I thought it was a random name and clicked on it. after reading through the story and everything I think i felt something Id never felt before, a feeling of hope that I never knew was possible. I started cutting when I was 15 while recovering from anorexia. i started cutting in hospital actually, cause a friend of mine showed me how she released her pain and i followed. i slowly regained the strength to eat but became addicted to this newfound 'outlet' for my pain. when i found the site on my friends page, i was a 16 year old desperate to find a way out of this mess and although I am still cutting today, I can sometimes go weeks without it if im doing well. other times, i will cut every day for so many weeks, sometimes more than once a day. every day i am reminded by the scars on my arms of those dark days where I would wonder if i would ever get out of this. i am reminded of the days when i had a major rush from cutting and thought it felt so good, but I am also reminded of the small voice inside me, telling me that something was wrong with this. something was not quite right; my best friend did not do this and i should not be doing this. i remember giving up, trying, and giving up.
but i want people to remember the hope you have given many people. people who just do not see the way out. dont see that there are poeple who love them, want to hold them, care for them.
after finding twloha, i felt like i could finally talk to poeple. tell them what was really going on underneath all the walls, all the scars and the painful invisibility.
after coming out of hospital in late 2005, just before my birthday (i was not spending my 16th in there thankyouverymuch lol!), i went to live with my aunty, due to circumstances where it was not safe for me to live at hime again just yet.
i joined a church, and although i was going to church previous to my hospitilisation, i did not feel what i felt at this new one. the people there cared. my youth leader cared. i was able to gather the strength to open up and share my story, just as Renee has (except with a much smaller audience). I told my new friend my experiences of physical and verbal abuse which had scarred me through my childhood and early teenage years, and how i decided to take control of the only thing i knew how: my food.
i told her about the cutting on the first occasion, though. she was shocked, and started crying. we cried together, weeping for pain but also for healing. she then asked me if i would like to share the reason behind the cutting; i was not ready but opened up later on.
today I am 18 years old. I still cut my wrists, but I am getting better. I have hope, and my name is Rosemary. I have chosen a new path, but that is what it is: a path. i believe healing is a direction, not a destination and we can all work through it together.

thank you Renee, for sharing your story. and thank you Jamie for writing it.... everyone at twloha, thankyou for being a part of it.. youre all amazing =]

love to you all


rose xx

3 | Left by Rosemary | Sep. 24, 2008 at 11:43am

Renee,
you are an inspiration for women and men everywhere. reading your writing gives me shivers, it reminding me of myself and friends so much.
i believe that God put you on this earth to share your stories of pain, of self-resentment, and of healing to show others how much we are worth, and how it is to have walked through fire and survived.
you inspire me down to my very core, Renee. thank you for your words, and for your courage to show them to the world.
may you always be blessed with Jamie and all of your support group, and your amazing stregnth.
love over all, always.

4 | Left by Amanda | Oct. 1, 2008 at 6:12pm

I am speechless. I read this and I realize I need to face things I don't want to face...and that is tough. No one said it would be easy though. My healing process is beginning...and after 4 years I'm getting help. I'm being vulnerable. The doctors will see me soon...and that scares me so much. I'm not alone though. Thank you for reminding me I'm not alone. thank you for reminding me its okay if I'm afraid. Most importantly, thank for your honest words.

5 | Left by Ciara | Oct. 2, 2008 at 7:18pm

It.s amazing how words can be a release. When i read through her blog i was like "man i know what she is feeling". Many people think they are alone, and sometimes people judging what they are going through makes that feeling happen....All it takes is a little understanding. We are all human and our hearts cry as much as it can love. I think it.s hard to face the fears, scars, and pain....but some how some way there is a light at the end of the tunnel...you can.t just give up but just strive to reach it with every lasting breath, beat, and soul you have in you. My experiences are a healing in process and i know iv.e became much stronger...we.ve all been sorry, we.ve all been hurt, and us surviving is what makes us who we are. I'm so inspired by this site and people like Renee, that it makes me want to make a difference in someones life. I.m not saying me trying to play Jesus...but to hear others voices. They want to be heard just no one there to hear it. I am inspired to put my journal out there...not to be known but as a voice that wants to be heard, a voice that.s says i.ve been there too , and a voice that says your not alone. If one impact like that made a difference in one.s life, that to me would be a goal fulfilled. So thanks Renee...thanks TWLOHA! much love.....

6 | Left by Salina | Oct. 8, 2008 at 5:41pm

Wow, this girls words are so inspirational. The way she put everything is so easy to understand and relate to. I suffer from depression too, its hard, very hard. Self-harm i don't think is the answer either, but for some reason at one time i thought it was, it seems to relieve me. How did she ever get back into the right state of mind?

7 | Left by Brianne | Oct. 17, 2008 at 1:21pm

Renee you are such an inspiration to me. you taught me that people can change and we can be saved.
you made me realize that anything is possible if you have hope.
i dunno what i would do without twloha

i<3youall !!!!!

8 | Left by melmonsterrr | Oct. 20, 2008 at 6:27pm

Thank you for your honesty Renee! I cannot even begin to tell you how much your story and your hope means to me! Thank you!

9 | Left by Naomi | Oct. 21, 2008 at 12:39pm

Renee,

You inspire me. And I know it's hard. Cause I go through the depression still. But what got me there was myself. And i pushed it too hard on me. Thinking this won't get better. That's why the next time I talk with my mom I am going to ask her if I can buy a t-shirt. [[= Through all my pain and agony, I realized there is love burning to find you, and it will come at the right time.

:D

10 | Left by Heather | Oct. 22, 2008 at 12:14pm

hey everyone. i just wanted to say whenever i heard about Renee, her story, to write love on her arms. i knew i wasnt alone out there. there are everyday people with everyday lives, everyday friends going through problems. im one of those people. im also one of those people who hide my pain and suffering. just yesterday i told my parents what i was going through. ive been to therapy twice before in the past 5 years. but they didnt know how bad i was until yesterday. this site, these people, these stories have given me the hope and courage to talk to them. i went to an emergancy therapist session yesterday and it hurt so much to again talk about the past events that have happened. ive kept so much pain inside for 5 years. letting it all out has in some way releived me of my suffering. but its also brought me new challenges. when i read the story about renee and how she got over her problems and her fears made me believe that hope is real its as real as pain. one day when im better, when ive finally helped myself, i want to be just like the people that work with twloha. i want to help people that are going through the same problems and issues that im going through. i was going to go to the conversation night in charlottesville. i was so excited to go. but my mother wouldnt take me. that killed my excitement and killed my hope to feel just like everyone else. to talk to people that are going through what i am. just last night i told my mom i feel like a let down, a waste of life. i feel like there is something mentally wrong with me because my sister and brother are the perfect children. my brother is a marine and my sister is in college. but im just a nobody that doesnt feel like i deserve the life ive been given. im finally getting the help i need. and i can honestly say that its all because of this site, these people, renees story - her courage, hope, love, inspiration. thank you so much for helping the world, kids with needs that have no one else to turn to, people that feel they dont matter but they do, they honestly matter so much. one person can make a difference, one person can change the whole entire world. any one out there can be that one person but they just dont know it. you matter, everyone matters, even i matter. and im finally starting to believe it. hopefully one day ill be joining you twloha, and ill be the one helping others.

11 | Left by Jenni | Dec. 2, 2008 at 6:14am

The words spoken here, are powerful and true.
I am in recovery, and was clean for almost 5 months but relapsed. The forgiveness, and love found back in my AA group has been so encouraging to me. I was with my sponser, and AA friends trying to figure out life and I looked at this man that is part of "my community" and he told me a few words that I will never forget. He said,
"Madden, we are a family. The white chip means nothing to me, it just proves that you have a problem...just like me. Don't ever forget the fact that we are family. When you raised your hand in your first meeting and said 'I need help, please.' I came to you with open arms, and accepted you, and we(AA sponser/group) instantly formed a relationship that we will never forget. We are in this together, were family-Madden, don't ever forget it."
NOW, I know that I am powerless.
but its okay.
I am powerless over many things,
but I am finally okay with it.

Renee, just as you said. ITS OKAY TO BE POWERLESS. I agree. :) We all struggle at times, but its through my community that accepts me with open arms, and blogs such as this that help me to live JUST FOR TODAY.

:)
Thankyou.
Madden

12 | Left by Madden | Jan. 16, 2009 at 12:15pm

Honestly; every time I read a blog or hear someone from twloha speak tears involuntarily spring to my eyes. The first time I was embarrassed, why would I cry over something over the Internet? I've learned to embrace it. To laugh and smile when the tears spill over. Because I know I'm not alone. I'm not the only one struggling. And it feels good. I'm not alone in my pain. And someday I think I'll get better at accepting life and just rolling with the punches rather than getting upset and cutting. I thank you Jamie and Renee and everyone at twloha. For giving me hope and a feeling of unity. Because it helps; it really does.

13 | Left by Lauren | Aug. 26, 2009 at 12:28am

Renee, you're incredible. You are my hero, just for what you've been through, and you still continue on, even though some places are harder than others. <333 Way to go, Renee, on everything you've accomplished in your life.

14 | Left by Melissa | May. 12, 2010 at 1:51pm