i really like that... i now know im not the only one that is hurt by people's comments.....

1 | Left by tabby | Jun. 1, 2009 at 8:19pm

I love this!
The last paragraph makes me happy on the inside and i know someone who will enjoy that and take those words and appreciate them more than ever.
thank you :)

2 | Left by Gabby | Jun. 1, 2009 at 8:20pm

I completely froze when I first saw that on postsecret - because it's me and so many other people. It makes me feel like not such a failure to see that I'm not alone, even though that's the point of TWLOHA.

that last paragraph was amazing and completely turned my night around.
thanks, Jamie for your kind and uplifting words.

3 | Left by Sam | Jun. 1, 2009 at 8:40pm

thank god someone said it... whoever sent that note- you're not the only one tired of listening to people make fun of what they don't understand. thank you for sharing your secret. xox

4 | Left by AlkemieJane | Jun. 1, 2009 at 8:46pm

Both the card and your response, Jamie, gave me chills.

I grew up with two parents who suffered from mental illness, one of whom struggled with manic depression. My brother was diagnosed with ADHD as a child and my sister takes lithium for her emotional instability. I always thought that being a high achiever helped me to escape the stressful and painful environment in which I grew accustomed.

For years, I ignored my own sadness and anxiety, as neither rivaled the extreme cases of those closest to me. My family labeled me "normal," as I increasingly became aware that I was anything but. In 2001, I succumbed to the pressure of being "perfect" and was hospitalized for a mental breakdown. Since then, I have continued to fight a long (tiresome, frustrating, but rewarding) battle with clinical depression. Your site means more than you know. Simply having a place to go when others don't understand or can't, when I don't even understand why I feel the way I do... when I feel completely alone... restores my faith in living life. And I intend to live it to the fullest.

Thank you to those who are brave enough to share their stories--both on here and postsecret--you are making a difference, even if you never intended to.

5 | Left by ajh258 | Jun. 1, 2009 at 8:51pm

When I read that PostSecret, I instantly related because I'm the same. People know I support TWLOHA. They don't know why.

I used to be the one making the cutting "jokes". Now that I relate them, I don't see how I could ever have been so ignorant to make the jokes. For all I know, I was hurting someone then just as now people hurt me with them.

That last paragraph, wow. Just wow. That truly lifted my spirit. Thank you for that, Jamie. Thank you so much.

6 | Left by Rachel | Jun. 1, 2009 at 8:54pm

I really needed to read that last paragraph. Thank you.

7 | Left by AlliJo | Jun. 1, 2009 at 8:57pm

That last paragraph made my day.
Thank you.
I had a conversation with some friends today about depression, she used to work with troubled teens and we talked about how much she loved working with little kids better, because they didn't seem to have these problems. And I agree, I was thinking last week about how much I missed being a little kid mainly because of that. Now that I'm completely off topic, thanks again for that last paragraph. :)

8 | Left by ashleyisabelle | Jun. 1, 2009 at 9:12pm

Thank you. So much. I needed that too. I am finally getting help, but the jokes still hurt. That last paragraph, it made my night. I love you.

9 | Left by Nyssa | Jun. 1, 2009 at 9:13pm

I saw this on postsecret and I knew I had to post it on my blog. This by far is my favorite postsecret. Thank you once again for whoever wrote this one secret. Also the last paragraph just made me lighter. Thank you.

10 | Left by T | Jun. 1, 2009 at 9:23pm

jamie,

thank you for your words. i know i'm not alone (obviously) in taking comfort from both that secret, and your response.

things, lately, have been bad. the stress of trying to deal with work and school related difficulties, trying to find enough money to get the things i need, nevermind what i would like - it's all left me starting to hurt myself again, something i haven't done in quite some time.

the only way i've been getting through work while keeping my sanity is by reciting something you wrote about two and a half years ago - your words about how we're alive and breathing, and how we all are living a life that's never been known.

to me, you write the most expressive, wonderful things, and i know i take huge amounts of comfort from them. for that, thank you.

11 | Left by lindie | Jun. 1, 2009 at 9:25pm

as someone who sometimes makes those jokes subconsciously, when I read this, I felt instantly convicted. Even though I don't walk around making fun of people who cut, even joking about killing myself because of a crappy situation I find myself in, is really immature of me. I need to be thinking of others, before myself; and know that when make my hand like a gun and put it to my head and pulling the trigger as a joke, that really it's not funny.

thank you to whoever sent in this postsecret. I'm sure you've touched more lives than you imagined you ever would.

12 | Left by d | Jun. 1, 2009 at 10:07pm

Thank you so much for writing that post. That hit home. Twloha has helped me so much but I'm still not fully theere. I can't talk to any of my friends or my family and this place is the only thing that makes me feel like I fit in somewhere. And am accepted. Thank you for that. Thank you for making me feel like someone cares.

13 | Left by Sarah | Jun. 1, 2009 at 10:13pm

This was an amazing read. Thank you for words of hope :-)

14 | Left by Kerryn | Jun. 1, 2009 at 10:15pm

As others have said, this could have easily have been written by me, for I feel the exact same way. Honestly, when people make those jokes, I just want to disappear from the room. Thank you to the person who sent this postcard in.

And thank you for the beautiful response Jamie, especially the last paragraph. Sometimes I do need a reminder that I am not simply a statistic, but a person as well. Much love to all.

15 | Left by JL | Jun. 1, 2009 at 10:29pm

i suffer from depression and my boyfriend doesnt help me. he told me to stop taking the medication bc he felt like he was talking to the meds, not me. he told me if i cut myself again that hed break up with him.


i feel that he controls my life. and somehow, im ok with that. bc i dont have to control myself anymore.

16 | Left by katy | Jun. 1, 2009 at 10:40pm

Wow. Thank you Jamie for responding to the postcard. Sunday, when PostSecret updated and displayed that postcard, I--like so many others--connected completely. Furthermore, it was my birthday Sunday, and I guess it is all more than I can type out here, but everything was pretty hopeless until all these series of events started materializing--including this postcard, and the email a girl sent in. I have found a lot of beauty in this world in these past two days to compensate for all the hopelessness of last week. Simple beauties and good feelings like an intense hug from a one-year-old. And Helio's "To Write Love On Her Arms" just came on through iTunes. It's good sometimes...sometimes it is so good.

17 | Left by M | Jun. 1, 2009 at 10:41pm

Discovered TWOLHA today because of the PostSecret thing... Came to the site looking for a copy of the flyer so that I could see what the note hides.

18 | Left by shanon | Jun. 2, 2009 at 3:22am

You know, people just dont realize that cutting isnt a joke. It really isnt. It makes me so angry when people joke about things like that, because they dont see that it affects the people around them. The main reason though that it makes me so upset isnt because i've cut, but because my mom does. It hurts me MORE to know that they're making fun of my mom rather than me. I can handle myself sometimes, but when it comes to my mom, someone i love and trust so much, someone that i hardly ever get to see, it just tears my heart. I guess im not someone that people take very seriously, since when i ask people to stop, they think im joking. When they realize im not, then my secrets out, and they now know that im "emo". Self harming isnt a joke. So i thank you TWLOHA for noticing and floating in the same boat as I. maybe one day it will all stop...i still have faith.
loveyou all.

19 | Left by victoria | Jun. 2, 2009 at 3:49am

Thank you to whoever sent this Post Secret. You have finally said what so many of us have been feeling.

My 'friends' always make fun of my Pick Up The Phone shirt. When I try to explain it to them, they just crack even more jokes.

Maybe if they knew someone on one of those phones had saved my life, they wouldn't find it quite as funny....

20 | Left by Megan | Jun. 2, 2009 at 6:36am

I hate people that take pain and try to make it funny. It's never funny to exploit someone's problems or pain or anything like that for a joke.

If they really knew how people feel who suffer from self-injury, maybe they wouldn't be laughing.

21 | Left by alsyin | Jun. 2, 2009 at 6:52am

i really needed to hear this. thanks, you have no idea how much this cause inspires me to hold on

22 | Left by foxy | Jun. 2, 2009 at 7:09am

that last paragraph
made my entire week

everyone's comments say that,
and we all mean it
thank you<3

23 | Left by ashley rose | Jun. 2, 2009 at 8:13am

As someone who has hit rock bottom before and found my way back up, I want to tell everyone still struggling with depression that you have to believe me, there really is hope and the possibility of getting better and being truly happy is much much closer in your reach than you think. We tend to see the other side as being so far away but it isn't at all. We have to stay strong and lean on those who love us. They stand there with open arms, waiting for you to let them in. Be good to each other guys, trust me, help and rescue is here and now, not in a few years.

24 | Left by ToHelpIsToLove | Jun. 2, 2009 at 8:32am

Thank you so much for this! I was hoping you would say something when I saw that on PostSecret on Sunday. It's so true. Even people I know and love make cutting and "emo" jokes and it hurts me because I know it's not funny. It's never funny. Thank you. :)

25 | Left by Paige | Jun. 2, 2009 at 9:04am

i saw this secret today when i was at school. then i got home and read this post. wow. that's all i can say. i have a friend who used to cut herself, and i never understood why anyone would do something like that. then i went through a hard time and started doing it myself. it lasted two months, but then i just decided to stop because the scars were ugly and i wanted to be able to wear short sleeves in summer. i never told anyone about cutting myself, and no one found out. but today i felt alone and decided to share it on this website.

26 | Left by Anon | Jun. 2, 2009 at 9:15am

thats so true. and i think most of us that aren't necessarily struggling anymore need to read this and realize that we might not be the center of the jokes but that somebody somewhere is and to not let people even get in the mindset that this crap is funny cuz it isn't. thnx jamie...as usual.

27 | Left by Bradley | Jun. 2, 2009 at 11:10am

"If you struggle with self-injury, you are not "a cutter". You are a person. You are not only your pain. You are not only wounds and scars. You are also better things. You are possibility and promise, hope and healing, daydreams, favorite books and favorite songs. You are the people that you love and the people who love you. You are hope and change and things worth fighting for. This is all your story and your story isn't over."
-Jamie


That was so beautifully written that it made me cry. lol.
Thankyou for bringing back hope, and reminding me that I'm more than just my pain. =] <3

28 | Left by Katie | Jun. 2, 2009 at 11:20am

i was ecstatic when i saw that. i thought "that is my exact felling". its now my default for everything. im sick of hearing those jokes. they upset me exponentially. someone made one in class today and i looked at my scars and got a little angry.

29 | Left by Fego | Jun. 2, 2009 at 12:14pm

just today,a bunch of girls from school spent a entire free period making cutting jokes, right next to me.
nice timing with the post [:

<3

~lee

30 | Left by lee | Jun. 2, 2009 at 12:29pm

::smiles::
beautiful. y'know, i'm just over a month of sobriety from self-injury and an overdose habit. it's good to be reminded that i'm not 'an addict'. i am a person. i'm not only my pain. i'm not only wounds and scars. i am also better things. i am possibility and promise, hope and healing, daydreams, favorite books and favorite songs. i am the people that i love and the people who love me. i am hope and change and things worth fighting for. this is all my story and my story isn't over.
::smiles::

31 | Left by ally c | Jun. 2, 2009 at 12:59pm

I read this yesterday but did comment. I had to let it soak in.

Now, most people that have read this and commented feel that the last paragraph really struck them. I am one of those people.
But this part stuck out to me even more :

"It seems that you are on to the possibility that you deserve better, that you deserve to be put back together instead of torn apart. Wrapped in things that are true instead of lies. Shown pictures of hope instead of failure."

How beautiful is it when someone really does realize they deserve those things. That they are broken....but they deserve to be loved. to be held. to be put back together.
To realize that they DESERVE HOPE! that they don't HAVE to HURT ALONE.

For me...those are my greatest struggles. Daily struggles.

I'm very proud of those that have taken such a big step like that...because IT IS HARD.

32 | Left by Ciara | Jun. 2, 2009 at 2:53pm

Jamie, this was all very meaningful, especially the last paragraph. I cut for nearly three years, and now have been stopped for over two. And judging from people's absolute shock when they found out, I'm the last person you would suspect to be doing that kind of thing So whenever people make those jokes, I don't really feel that I can speak up, because then people would ask questions about me. I also bought a TWLOHA shirt back in March and was afraid to wear it for a while because of what people might think.

I'm working at a new job now, though, and don't think I'll wear it there- somehow, I'm still afraid.

And to all you people out there who need hope- you CAN get better! And as Jamie so eloquently put it, "You are not a "cutter." You are a person. You are not only your pain." Always remember that. You still have hopes and dreams and lives beyond this.

Thank you to the person who wrote the secret, and to Jamie for his great message about it!

33 | Left by gretch | Jun. 2, 2009 at 3:20pm

My friend and i recently bought some stuff for twloha...now im even more convinced i made a great purchase. I'm lucky in the sense that I don't have to deal with as much pain as the people you help, but i know how it feels, and ive been there.
I can't express enough gratitude for simply just having created this organization. You guys are brilliant.
and to the person who posted this postcard,
I hope that what Jamie said helped. Because it definitely helped me. Im eternally grateful that people like you guys exist, even though i dont need your help right now. It makes me believe that not everyone in the world is greedy, selfish and uncaring.

Thank you thank you thank you, unbelieveably, thank you.

34 | Left by andrea | Jun. 2, 2009 at 4:15pm

When I saw that PostSecret, I made me feel better. Like I wasn't alone. Because I wear my shirts and people ask what they mean. 75% of them laugh and say "its for emos and cutters!".
People jokes hurt and so many people can see it, looking at all these comments.
The last paragraph made me feel amazing.
Thanks you, Jamie.

35 | Left by brantly | Jun. 2, 2009 at 4:48pm

I know exactly how this person feels. My friends make emo jokes all the time. If they knew why I support TWLOHA, they would probably think twice.

36 | Left by rachel | Jun. 2, 2009 at 7:02pm

i am the but of many "emo" jokes to those who know my sorta secrect...it ain't funny,when i wear my shirts and people ask what it means many people will say something like :just let them die damm it: or :so it's for emo kids?: it's all ignorance.but many of my friends who are all for T.W.L.O.H.A do what we can but the "emo cutter" jokes should'nt be tolerated

37 | Left by Linsey Hitomi Williams | Jun. 2, 2009 at 9:27pm

Wow... That last paragraph made me really think. I love it. I have put some of what u said in my "favorite quotes" box on facebook. You really are a great writer and get your message across clearly and affectively. I love reading your post.
I hate it when people make emo jokes. I kind of have to laugh with them about it cuz many people don't know about me. I hate doing that. Inside I just want to tell them to knock it off and that it aint right to joke about that kind of thing. I especially hate it when my mom makes those kind of jokes. It hurts....
Thanks for posting this. It made me think.... =)

38 | Left by Kenzy | Jun. 2, 2009 at 10:54pm

i agree with Lee. this post came at a perfect time. just yesterday, a kid next to me in band kept telling everyone to go kill themselves. and also, our band director cracked a cutting joke and everyone laughed, while healed wounds were being ripped open in me. not only, are my friends and i left with the agonizing question of why did my friend take his life, but we are also left to deal with the jokes. it just makes grieving and healing that much more harder. i do also follow you in the prayers of when someday the jokes will silence and that people will care.
thank you for this:
Thanks for writing what a million people feel. That the jokes aren't funny. That a person's pain isnot a punch line. Not something to laugh about. Thanks for saying that ignorance isn't bliss - it's ugly.

It seems that you are on to the possibility that you deserve better, that you deserve to be put back together instead of torn apart. Wrapped in things that are true instead of lies. Shown pictures of hope instead of failur

39 | Left by Merla | Jun. 3, 2009 at 6:06am

I don't really know how to say what I want to say. But I feel like I need to make jokes about cutting to try and make some sense out of why I do it.

I don't want to hide my cuts or scars anymore. Or the fact that sometimes I feel like my head is going to explode with the million thoughts running through it all looking for my attention and the only way I can deal with it is to turn to something that may seem ridiculous to most, and in the cold light of day to me as well.

I dunno... I don't know what I'm saying, maybe there's a part of me that tries to rationalise cutting by making it a joke.

I'm not mocking people who do it, nor the reasons they do it. I still don't really see cutting as any different to people who turn to drugs or booze or anything like that as some sort of coping mechanism... and I'd make jokes about a drunk guy falling down some stairs all day long.

Maybe it's because I'm not a *real* cutter.

I dunno...

Anyway, I know this isn't a *great* way to introduce myself. I think the site and what you guys do is amazing, I'm from Glasgow, but working in London and was gutted when I saw you were going to be in Glasgow.

Hope it all goes well.

Cheers...

Me

40 | Left by Me | Jun. 3, 2009 at 6:17am

I was on post secret last night and i saw this. It made me really inspired. I haven't really checked back into the TWLOHA website in a while but I saw this and a friend commented on a picture of mine where I'm supporting TWLOHA...so I guess there is a reason I should be on here. There must be something I need to see. Who knows? :]

41 | Left by keri lynne | Jun. 3, 2009 at 8:42am

Hey Jamie!
I'm from Brazil, and this week i found out about TWLOHA, and i'm so happy with this.
i mean, this is great! you are helping so many people around the world! i'd like to say "thank you" for that!

You are awesome! thank you for everything!
best wishes!

42 | Left by Mika | Jun. 3, 2009 at 8:48am

Thanks for posting that Jamie, that whole blog is so inspiring especially that last paragraph. I think TWLOHA is so so incredibly inspirational and I am pleased to feel part of the TWLOHA family. Most people see me wearing the t shirts and havent a clue what they mean, one of my friends also supports TWLOHA she doesn't feel she is affected by any of the things TWLOHA works to help with but she understands the good that you guys do and she believes in that and that helps me to keep believing it too.

Thankyou for the inspiration :)
Dianne

43 | Left by Dianne | Jun. 3, 2009 at 9:28am

I don't think there's a better way to sum up what I feel for this than a simple Thank You.

44 | Left by Lacey | Jun. 3, 2009 at 10:00am

thanks for posting this message. i am very happy that you wrote that people that deal with self injury are
"cutters". I dealt with class mates calling me emo or a cutter or phycho. Finally somebody agrees. the people that self mutalate are normal people they just deal with emotions differently than others do. I am very happy that i found a site where other people have the same issues as me and dont just judge people because of how they act to things that happen in there life. I have had some hard times in life. I have been raped and molested for more than 3 years by my brother, and i have bipolar and when i used to get angry and yell and scream my dad would "restrain" me and phsically abused. I am happy that i found you guys. And im excited to get some help and meet people that have the same issues as me. Thanks a ton.

45 | Left by Bekka | Jun. 3, 2009 at 10:19am

This is so how I feel when I hear people make fun of "emo" kids. I've heard one "joke" several times. "Oh I'm EMO so I'm gonna go cut my wrist." I'm not "emo" but, I guess if the person who says these things couldn't tell that by my arm. I feel exactly how this person feels who wrote this. Thank you Jamie for making this site and thank you to whomever sent this in! I'm happy to know that I'm not the only one who feels like this. Thanks you!

46 | Left by Lindsey | Jun. 3, 2009 at 3:11pm

Thank you, whoever you are, for posting this. I've been called the "emo freak" and have been the pit of all the cutting jokes and slams myself. I know how much it hurts. What you did was brave and honorable. My prayers go out to you. May you continue to be bold about TWLOHA's mission.

Peace and LOVE,
Chelsea

47 | Left by Chelsea Kampa | Jun. 3, 2009 at 4:14pm

whoa, that last paragraph was awesome. i love you

48 | Left by Anon | Jun. 3, 2009 at 5:47pm

There was also a response to this on Postsecret, but it seems to be gone now.

It was something along the lines of,

"Maybe making those jokes were the only way I could ask for help."


Just kind of makes you think twice. At least it did for me.

49 | Left by Anon | Jun. 3, 2009 at 6:48pm

what does the whole thing say without the white paper on top?

50 | Left by sabina | Jun. 3, 2009 at 8:42pm

jamie,
you continue to blow me away with each and every blog you write. the last paragraph has a profound impact on me. all through middle school me and my best friend both struggled with SI. however, we didn't know it. we both kept it a secret for too long. the jokes that people would say hurt us inside. we went on to separate high schools, but we still carried our demons with us. October 15th of my sophomore year, the demons inside my best friend took control of her. she made one final cut. until the next morning when i heard, i didn't know we had this is common. i would have given everything i had to see her one last time to try and save her.
i hope people who make the cutting jokes realize that there are others who WILL go home and cut themselves after a bad day. it's not funny to joke about at all.

jamie, i consider you and the staff of TWLOHA my personal saviors. thank you for all that you do!

With Love,
Boston

51 | Left by boston | Jun. 3, 2009 at 8:56pm

I check out postsecret every week, it always has one or two postcards that really speak to me. This week one of them was this one, so I went to your site to see what it was about...
I'd like to say WOW this is a great place to come and see how others are coping with self harm, I will check it out again!
Thank you for shining a light in the dark.
-Fizz

52 | Left by Fizz | Jun. 3, 2009 at 9:13pm

I have thought this EXACT same thing before. It's so hard. Every day of my life, I'm fighting so many things. But I'm not the only one. I finally told my friends and family. The jokes don't always stop completely. They probably won't understand at all. But if they love you, they'll try. They will. TWLOHA has really changed my life. It's helped me to reach out to people and to not be afraid. It helped save my life. Jamie, your blogs always make me cry just at the sheer power of the words. Thank you. A thousand times over, thank you. I don't know you, but I love you. Whoever you are. Wherever you are. There are a million things I want to say, but I'll leave it with that.
So much love,
Hannah

53 | Left by Hannah | Jun. 3, 2009 at 10:42pm

This is a powerful respsone to a serious issue.

There a situation at my old job where couple of my
co-workers were joking about a one the staff that cuts.
I was so ashamed and disgusted by their behaviour.
I really begged them to stop because in no way shape
or form its fun to joke about self-injury.

I actually didnt know the girl was a cutter so I went
and speak to her. I didnt bring up joking or her issues
with self-injury but I told her about TWLOHA.
I was happy to hear she knows about the movement.
So I'm praying she stopped the cutting and knows
there is support.

Thanks Jaimie for your words. You're amazing.
Always bringing hope those who feel hopeless.
I have posted the link to this blog on Facebook
hopefully some of my old co-workers will read this
and realize the seriousness in this issue

Much Love
-Tash

54 | Left by Tashana | Jun. 3, 2009 at 10:54pm

I absolutely agree.. Some people just have sick taste of humor (my own experiences)
And last paragraphs is really awesome - it helps so much!

Thank you,Jamie!!!
xx

55 | Left by Eiwen | Jun. 3, 2009 at 11:57pm

A few weeks after the first time I cut, I was at lunch with a couple of friends, both of whom knew what I was struggling with and how freaked out I was about it. One of them cracked a joked about cutting. I had never felt so betrayed in my life.

Thank you for reminding us that we are not defined by this struggle. Thank you for reminding ust that there is the hope of something better than what we have now.

56 | Left by malimed | Jun. 4, 2009 at 8:01am

that picture actually made me find this site and i'm so glad it did. i had no idea there was so much help and support for people who self harm. what an amazing site x

57 | Left by Francesca | Jun. 4, 2009 at 11:54am

I just want to say thankyou so much to everyone involved in this site and this cause for dedicating so much of your time to helping other people you are truely amazing people, and your words and actions are inspiring. Thank You

58 | Left by Amy | Jun. 4, 2009 at 2:59pm

this site helped me deffinatly get through my depression, bc when i used to cut myself i effencted alot of people, and im getting help, but i felt i just got even more angrier bc none of my problems were gonna be solved. But when i read some of the things on this site, i realized that its not the right thing to do:]

59 | Left by Alexx<3 | Jun. 4, 2009 at 4:37pm

Thanks for posting this. My friends always make jokes about that, and others choices ive made and I dont think its funny. They think Im being oversensitive but it has nothing to do with that. If they were in my shoes they would feel the sting of their words. Of course I just stopped telling them how i feel because they think Im just 'overreacting' and should join in. I dont laugh at someones struggles...
It is wrong. I hope this shows some awareness, thanks =]

60 | Left by Sachi | Jun. 4, 2009 at 6:59pm

That last paragraph....thanks.

I've never been a person who struggled with self-injury, but this site has done so much to keep me going through pain so many times.

And...I've had "medical issues". I'm young but I've had more surgeries than anyone I know; I'm still going to have more. At the hospital where I go, I am defined by the huge charts, brimming with papers, that detail every hospital visit, surgery, and number that has anything to do with me. I am also defined my statistics...by what doctors believe I'm "supposed" to be. My whole life, in the hospital and out of it, I have known so many people who wanted to put labels on me, defining me by their statistics or my medical charts. I just wanted to scream "This isn't who I am. I'm not a condition, I am a PERSON. I have a story beyond this; I have a favorite book and a favorite song and best friends. I love to sing and bike ride and take pictures. I have a journal that tells my story. I am an A student in advanced courses. Yes, this is a part of me and I can't deny it, but it's not who I am."

Although the last paragraph is about a different situation, I understand those words so much. I know the feeling of being labeled. This world likes to put people in little boxes: to define them in one or two simple words. So many people have defined me in a few words, a statistic, or a medical chart, but I know I'm NOT just that. It took me a long time to learn that. Thank you.

61 | Left by Anon | Jun. 4, 2009 at 8:31pm

Jamie, thank you. That last paragraph made my week. Your words mean more to me than youll ever know. <3

62 | Left by Michelle | Jun. 4, 2009 at 9:19pm

I have never really confronted the kinds of issues where we are afflicted with the onset of cruel comments made by those who cannot understand, or rather just don't want to. I guess I am thankful in that remark. However, I do know that those "cutting jokes" exist. They aren't funny in any possible way. It's just uncool, and it's up to us to stop the laughter and say "Cut it out. What you're saying hurts me."

I thank TWLOHA for posting this. I believe it reinforces, if not reminds us of the little obstacles we all face on the road to recovery and prevention. If one of us takes the initiative to stand up and say "Stop", I think its time for all of us to.

63 | Left by Ara | Jun. 4, 2009 at 10:09pm

hate to say it.....but i used to be one of those people...the one who used to make cuttin jokes all the time...but ever since i found pain in my life i stopped...ever since my frand introduced me to this site...i stopped...i realize now that people should have love in the world and that people really do think that their all alone...but their not....this blog post shows people that....people need love and the people who mock it just dont no what other people go through....we dont no why people mock this..maybe its because they dont understand it....and maybe they just need to realize why people support this and why people do it....

64 | Left by now i realize | Jun. 5, 2009 at 7:05am

I have to say that even at a Christian college I found that people that I thought were my friends have no idea what cutting is really like. It felt like they were mocking me even though they had no idea what I was and am, going through. You have no idea how happy i am to hear and see that someone was brave enough to think of doing this. If i had thought of it, i would have done it a long time ago. So thank you to whoever had the awesome idea to show people how much it hurts to be made fun of for something that is real. it means a lot to me to see this. thank you from the bottom of my heart!

65 | Left by Samantha | Jun. 5, 2009 at 8:53am

i just recently started following this movement, and supporting it. this postsecret will allow more people to discover and support this movement as well. God Bless.

66 | Left by weareone | Jun. 5, 2009 at 5:12pm

thanks for that post. I've been cutting since 8th grade when a friend killed herself, and I became suicidal as well. 5 years later I still suffer. I've got multiple mental illnesses; (recovering) major depression, Bi-polar, Bulimia, generalized anxiety/ paranoia, and ADD. TWLOHA gives me so much support. I still get dumb jokes and comments about my scars that are really old, and I've had enough of the bs. You guys are amazing, thank you so much.

67 | Left by Brittany | Jun. 5, 2009 at 7:23pm

JAMIE: Oh my Lord.
Every time you open your mouth, tears shoot from my eyes & goosebumps catipult from my arms.
I could never thank you enough 4 everything you say & do.
As a teenager, I've been having struggles w/ my faith 4 more than a year.
You remind me that God is as a matter of fact our Father, & that He does love us.
You are a gift. & I am proud 2 call you my hero. <3

68 | Left by Olivia Rose | Jun. 6, 2009 at 1:45am

Jamie,
you are so good with words, it makes me feel like you are talking, just to me, but infact you are talking to thousands, hundreds of thousands.. your words are a movement in itself; it makes twloha so much more real, your words bring truth, bring hope, and bring love that the whole movement is about. your words are so full of knowledge and understanding, and so reasuring to hear, to know, and to remember. thank you for everything you say and do. this movement is the best thing to ever happen to myself and many more to come.

69 | Left by Anna | Jun. 6, 2009 at 11:30am

Jamie, I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for everything you're doing and everything you've done. My sister struggles with depression, but I truly believe that by you just sharing these stories and promoting hope you've helped heal her. She's doing better today, but I still worry about her at times. Hopefully she will one day overcome this depression completely. =)

70 | Left by Emily | Jun. 6, 2009 at 12:12pm

I'd just like to take a second to say thank you. For what you wrote, it made my day. Also to the brave person who was able to send their postcard in; I wish I had that much courage.

Jamie-your words are so beautiful, and so healing. They made me feel like a real human being. For a complete stranger to do what everyone I love can't: thank you.

71 | Left by lauren | Jun. 6, 2009 at 2:49pm

I started cutting when I was in 6th grade. I've always felt alone because I wasn't "that kind of girl". This post secret lead me to your site. I don't think I'll need my razor blade tonight.

72 | Left by mollie | Jun. 6, 2009 at 3:21pm

I am 100% guilty of cracking a joke-but it's always at my own expense. If I stood up for self injurers then my friends would find out that I am one. So I keep it a secret by joking along with them. It doesn't make me feel better about it though, I always feel like crap afterwards. Like they have a right to know, and maybe if I was a better person I could deserve help.

73 | Left by taylor | Jun. 6, 2009 at 11:41pm

I felt really bad about this post because I used to injure myself. But thank you to TWLOHA, I was able to stop. I told my friends about TWLOHA while I was healing and what I shared to them stopped them from cutting too.

But anyway, I feel really bad because now I make fun of people who cut. After reading this, I realized I was making fun of the people who were in pain. I guess I was also making fun of how I was before.

So, to those people I joked about, I am really sorry. Even though I meant to joke around with the people I knew, I kinda included other people who were suffering as well.
i am truly very sorry.

74 | Left by Dana | Jun. 7, 2009 at 7:45am

I'm sorry. But as an ex-cutter I can really and truly say that I don't mind the jokes. I don't take cutting as a life-wrecking event. I take it as the unfortunate result of to much abuse. But I truly think it's the ability that I have to laugh at cutting jokes, to take the world a little bit lightly that is the reason that I'm still around.

Not everything so heavy. Sometimes it's okay to laugh even when things aren't really funny.

75 | Left by Kara | Jun. 7, 2009 at 2:41pm

When I saw this on postsecret last week I automatically want to thank this person for sending it. Although I am an ex cutter I do not like the jokes, they are very hurtful and do not make the person cutting feel any better. Sadly, other teenagers do not get the seriousness of cutting and what it can do to a person. Thank-you twloha for helping people with this issue and helping others to understand it.

76 | Left by Alexis | Jun. 7, 2009 at 4:04pm

first of all THANK YOU!

i have always viewed myself as a cutter, and your the first person to tell me i'm wrong. For that, i am truly grateful

77 | Left by Jessica | Jun. 7, 2009 at 5:17pm

Like so many others. The last Paragraph hit me. I have a friend who cuts And have heard the jokes people make, they are hurtful they are just plan mean. The life people live isn't a thing to make fun of. Take what they have gone through and learn. Don't let others be intimidating. I'm stuck in my shell, my own walled in area.No one in the world except the therapist and my parents know i had/have depression. I was rid of it. But the past has come back to haunt me.Its back but i'm dealing with it, finding the reason for it and going on from there. And the words Jamie says are striking and strong. Thank you who ever sent that in. Just thank you. And Jamie your amazing, what you do has helped many including myself. Stopped me from cutting, i have two small scars and no more, this has stopped me from death. I'm living because of this site. Thank you.

78 | Left by noone | Jun. 7, 2009 at 9:51pm

I read this blog before the weekend, and it really hit home. After a very LONG weekend, I returned to it to get my hopes up again. I'm going to save this and when I feel myself start to lose hope I'll look at it. Day one starts for me tomorrow and you can bet that this'll be on my mind all day. Thank you.

79 | Left by lucy | Jun. 8, 2009 at 12:09am

wow. thank you so much Jamie.[and the poster of this secret.] I cut for about 3+ years, and kept it a secret from even my closest friends, then My sister found me out. she immediately told my mom who barely addressed the issue. I was dragged to a social worker at my doctor's office who had no clue how to deal with me. I saw her once more and then my mom assumed I was cured since I hadn't cut in the period of time since i saw the social orker first. To this day she doesn't know how long I was really cutting for. She doesn't know that everyday when I see the scars on my arms I. feel.so.ashamed. She doesn't know that there are some days that fly by and other days that I am ready to give up on life with a blade in my hand.she doesn't know how hard it is to recover when you feel so alone.and I want to talk about these things but I don't,she won't. she won't hear it.
I began journaling,after I was sent to the social worker.I also began investing most of my time in anything TWLOHA related and found anything online I could about cutting and recovery. i was looking back through one of my journals shortly before reading this blog and a few months ago I wrote "This is so hard. Cutting is part of me. i can't tell anyone. they'll hate me. even if i'm not actively cutting, i was a cutter, i am a cutter, and i always will be a cutter..." so jamie, I guess the purpose of this comment that turned out more like a novel, was to thank you for telling me I am so much more than just a cutter.

*and the cutting jokes must stop. sometimes these jokes are what break people that are already so ashamed and so hurt. we need to help, not hurt. we need to be accepting and not call people "emo". we need to understand that cutting and depression and addiction are real problems that need to be taken seriously, not made fun of or pushed aside. we need to love. -janine

80 | Left by Janine | Jun. 8, 2009 at 12:04pm

i always get so mad, and when i tell people that those jokes aren't funny then they look at me like i'm some kind of freak, i always feel so alone at least i know that i'm not.

81 | Left by Wren | Jun. 8, 2009 at 6:27pm

I read what Jaime had to say and then all the comments and realize that the jabs I would take about cutting were because I struggled with the same things 10 years ago. Reflection brings this realization I suppose. The jokes really aren't funny because the people they are made at are awesome people with difficult challenges in their lives...

82 | Left by Craig | Jun. 9, 2009 at 8:40am

that last paragraph has been put under my current 'i hate my life, my arms hurt, woe is me' livejournal post.
as a reminder to myself that im not a lost cause.
find the beauty in detail, its getting me through.

83 | Left by Emmy | Jun. 10, 2009 at 8:09am

To whomever posted this...thanks so much! I absolutely hate it when my friends make jokes about how if someone is "emo" they cut their wrists/arms. I get defensive when they say this and they look at me like I am some kind of freak...I am not emo and it make me wonder what would they say if they ever knew....
I am glad there are other people out there who feel what I am going through

84 | Left by questionmark | Jun. 11, 2009 at 5:34am

To tell you the truth i never thought i would be able to go through what others did, until my friend started doing it. I didn't know what to do at the time. I kept telling her "This isn't right, but if you need anyone here for you just call me and i'll be here". I actually didn't know how to help her though because i never did it. But when i found this site one day while browsing through Myspace. I called her up and told her about it. She has pretty much changed ever since that day. When i see her everyday now she always whispers to me "You saved my life". This site has changed her life. She almost killed herself that same day. And to read this post secret takes me back to that day and remind me about how i almost lost a real close friend because of other peoples comments. Thank you.

85 | Left by Anon | Jun. 11, 2009 at 10:30am

To whomever wrote that postsecret,
thank you.

86 | Left by Azzalie | Jun. 11, 2009 at 1:30pm

I don't know why I ever made those jokes... because in the end, I feel this sense of stupidity.
I am always complaining about people who don't understand, because I used to cut...
My friends still do, but I quit. I made those jokes at them because I know for a fact that my reason was real, and when I listen to them, it's just things that everyone else deals with every day, and that they shouldn't be worrying about it... But I was wrong.

I remember, that I cut for a reason. Because I felt something, that feeling of uselessness and abandonment, and the list could surely go on... and I KNOW that the feeling was real. And... Just after really thinking about it, everyone has their reasons... and just because you quit, doesn't mean that they will too, because the story may be small, but you can't predict someones emotions. They're all different.
I don't know how to apologize, because in this way I can't explain, I start feeling ashamed... so i want to just take THIS chance right here, to say I'm sorry to everyone... not only was a making fun of my past self, but I've been making fun of you who are still stuck in your troubles...

and that isn't what I meant to happen, but it did.
A part of me wants to go back to cutting again, because I want to show them that I really am on their side... so just know, that I'm sorry.
i think that alot of people will see what harm they really have done to others... so thank you so much jamie. You're a real inspiration.

87 | Left by Dani | Jun. 11, 2009 at 4:48pm

thank you.thats all i can think of saying.to the one who put this out there and jamie.i am in tears just by reading this cause its the thing that i have tried to say for years.you are the one that can stand up to everyone and you have.TWLOHA means different thing to everyone.but there is people out in this world that it means the same things as for you.and now me and i know millions more fill that they have alittle more hope to know that there is people out there that can help.thank you once again.

88 | Left by sarah | Jun. 12, 2009 at 12:18pm

That last paragraph made me cry happy tears. I finally realize im not alone, all along i thought i was. Thank you, thank you more than you could possibly know.

89 | Left by Kayla | Jun. 12, 2009 at 10:44pm

This helped as i hate hearing people make stupid jokes on things that are just not funny because that half of the people i know including myself have been through this..and when people make jokes i feel all bitter and angry because everything ive been through isnt a joke. x

90 | Left by Emily | Jun. 17, 2009 at 10:58am

I have struggled with cutting for almost 3 years. It first started when my mom and stepdad got divorced. That tore me to pieces..I was so hurt I didn't know what to do. So I turned to cutting. I've been doing it off and on for the past 3 years.Sometimes the cuts aren't very deep, and sometimes they are. And I've been around people who make jokes about cutting. It's not funny in any manner, and it's hurtful. Here recently, I finally stoppped cutting thanks to one of my close freiends, who made me realize that people do care about me.But it's so hard not to go back to the blade when soemthing bad happens. But reading these blogs..have helped. Also having my friend by my side helps a ton too. This is a amazing website!!!

91 | Left by Alexis | Jun. 17, 2009 at 8:59pm

I have been a cutter for two years. I now realize that I a not a 'cutter' but a real breathing, singing, human being. Thank you.

92 | Left by anne | Jun. 18, 2009 at 5:22pm

I am struggling with self harm. My family does not understand and they only get angry when I do it, I most of the time do not know where to turn, I'm often afraid to talk to my therapist about my self harm because I think she is judging me. I know deep down, she's probably not judging me, but I can't help but wonder. I do not like to refer to myself as a cutter, because it is not who I am, it is what I do. I do not know any other way to help cope with the pain and lack of self worth that I carry with me every day. I have attempted suicide three times in the past year and somedays my meds actually work. I know I have a hard road ahead of me, but I know I will be ok, it will be a struggle, but I know I am not alone. This website has really helped me on my journey. I hope it continues to help others!

93 | Left by Candi | Jun. 19, 2009 at 1:38pm

Thank You for giving anyone who has been suffering from self injury inspiration and hope! I have been battling this for 10 years! I remember trying to find information and support then and it was so hard, now with TWLOHA I know there is encouraging words everyday. Although I have come up from rock bottom from depression and cutting, I have recently replasped. I know I can now look on here to help pick me up to guide me the right way. The constant jokes about mental illness and self injury needs to stop. Thank you for finding and continuing TWLOHA to help us all!

94 | Left by Jen | Jun. 19, 2009 at 10:21pm

My mother recently found out about my cutting. she thinks by punishing me and keeping me locked up in my room will stop me. But i feel like i am loosing my sanity each second i spend in here. I can hear my friends playing outside and its making me feel worse about the whole situation. i want to stop but i find it hard to. I refuse to take any depression pills thrown at me because i hate the idea of being controlled by them. She blames my friends, the music,my style,everything she can as a reason why i cut. and she refuses to help me at all...

95 | Left by Natasha | Jun. 20, 2009 at 10:27am

thank you for posting this it describes exactly how i feel. I started self-harming about a year ago and my mom recently found out,she's the only one who know's. She took me to see a counseler, and every time she finds a new cut she takes my razor, I know she's trying to help but I feel like I would be better off if she just left me alone. My brother doesn't know and he and his fiends are always making cutting jokes, I want to tell them to stop but I'm afraid they will find out.

96 | Left by anna | Jun. 21, 2009 at 6:17am

Nobody knows about my cutting. Some days I want to tell someone so they will yell at me. I know I won't tell, and I know nobody will care. I have one friend in across the country who cares. It's not the same, the other person I used to talked to killed himself. I have been left alone with my brain.

I'm scared out of my mind.

97 | Left by bridgette | Jun. 21, 2009 at 5:56pm

It's hard to object to the "cutter jokes" when no one knows you're a cutter. I hate them so much. I don't see how it's funny.

98 | Left by Shelby | Jun. 22, 2009 at 10:43am

i just want to say thank you for having a website for cutters because it is greatly appreciated and i am glad i can find others to connect to.

99 | Left by Innocence | Jun. 22, 2009 at 1:13pm

Wow. Took the words out of my mouth and the thoughts out of my head. I've been thinking about making one for a year. I'm glad someone finally posted something like this. I realized I'm not alone. That's a good feeling. My mom recently found out but thinks nothing serious of it. She called me a "follower." Ouch. Three of my closest friends know. I stopped wearing bracelets to school. At this point, I don't really care who sees. But the jokes should stop. They aren't funny. And they assume that because I dress a certain way, I must cut myself. Well. I guess they were right.

100 | Left by Kelly | Jun. 24, 2009 at 3:25pm

"You are the people that you love and the people who love you. You are hope and change and things worth fighting for. This is all your story and your story isn't over."

That's the most awesome thing I've heard all day. Maybe even ever.

101 | Left by kbock70 | Jun. 26, 2009 at 6:21pm

Thank you for responding to this secret. It makes me smile to know that TWLOHA pays so much attention to what is going on.

To the person who posted the secret: Thank you for being vulnerable and showing your wounds. It takes a brave person to be the sole voice in a crowd of insults. The power of a word is sometimes the strongest weapon we have. Thank you for reminding us of that.

102 | Left by Sammi | Jun. 29, 2009 at 12:44pm

i absolutuley love this. i hate when peolpe make those jokes!!! there not funny at all.


CEASE:
the mockery and the jokes

LONG LIVE: TWLOHA;')

103 | Left by vania | Jun. 29, 2009 at 10:50pm

yes i kno and im glad somone understands how ppl feel cuz alot of ppl think we need help and counsling. We dont we need to feel like ppl care, like were not alone. Im glad others do kno what were going through cuz alot think were crazy or stupid and maybe we are somtimes but then again its not being stupid its lettin all the pain go away from your bady its being you.
thanks...for everything

104 | Left by *forgotten | Jul. 2, 2009 at 8:00pm

i feel like i could have written that.
ive had to deal with so much ridicule while i was in high school.
the whole "emo" thing was going around, so basically anybody with a papercut on their arm was going to be labeled.
and since i had arms and legs full of gashes, i was basically hunted down around school only to be ridiculed loudly in front of everybody.
im so glad i finally graduated this year.
twloha i love you.

105 | Left by kellin | Jul. 3, 2009 at 1:23am

First to the person who wrote this secret thank you for saying what so many of us feel. When people make those jokes it's almost like they reopen my wounds that havedfinally healed.
Second thanks jamie for what you said. As many others have already said the last paragraph really spoke to me. When I told my youth minister that I cut she was the first person I told. she said the same thing that you did that I wasn't a "cutter" but I didn't believer her but now almost a year and a half later I do now. Thank you sooo much!!

106 | Left by Hannah | Jul. 4, 2009 at 9:34pm

Thank you so much for this; I'm hurt by those jokes every time one comes around. I slao liked the last paragraph especially...many people just can't understand that just because one SIs or has in the past, it doesn't mean that they're only that. Thank you for our individuality.

107 | Left by Julia | Jul. 7, 2009 at 6:31pm

I am always hurt by all the people that make fun of me because of the scars on my body. One thing that I needed to do was share my story. I sent it in to twloha and to postsecret but neither site showed a response. There should be a place to share stories on twloha shouldn't there? A place where people can know that there are many others like them in the world, not just a select few. I was told that it was being created but I have not seen any change.
I love hearing other people's stories because it gives me hope that one day, I won't feel immense pain when I look at my scars.

108 | Left by Alyssa | Jul. 12, 2009 at 9:31pm

I need help with my situation, my ex boyfriend is comming to me about his depression and cutting issues. His personalitly changed so much in one year. I keep telling him to tell his parents so he can get real help, i dont know what to do i feel some what responsible. I dont know what else to tell him besides that there are other ways of dealing with pain

109 | Left by Ang | Jul. 13, 2009 at 9:20pm

I know how it feels to hear jokes about something that you struggle with. I have had an eating disorder for 4 years, and when i hear people make anorexic/bulimic jokes, it hurts a lot. I try and laugh it off, but it really strikes a chord with me. I wish i could say something to these people,but I cant let them know what I struggle with. I know the mean know harm, but they just shouldnt say things like that, because they dont know who it effects.

110 | Left by A | Jul. 13, 2009 at 9:56pm

i never thought that i would cut. EVER! i supported TWLOHA before i ever cut myself.
i was always a really happy person. but after going through a really rocky season of life, i got really depressed, and i felt empty, and i felt nothing.
it only happened a handful of times, but now i look at TWLOHA with different eyes.
it holds a different place in my heart.
im lucky that i had the help i needed before it got worse.

and i am guilty of making those types of jokes. but not before i cut. it was after. i made them to cover my pain, fear, and even guilt. and i made them cause i thought that maybe if people heard me make jokes they wouldn't think i cut myself.
the jokes were a hurtful cover.
but thats over.

now i write love on my arms.
keep on doing what you do.
it makes a difference.

111 | Left by frankie | Jul. 16, 2009 at 1:34am

jokes dont help.to write love on her arms does.
cutting is unhealthy.but its all some have to turn to.
it cant be prevented from ever happening,
its a way to cope,its an addiction.
but it can be stopped.
awarness can be spread.
just listen for the silent crys from people.,
seriously consider the warning sighns,
you could save a life.you could change a life.

112 | Left by megan elizabeth | Jul. 17, 2009 at 12:03pm

"We live in a difficult world, a broken world"
The only truth on this entire web page.
The problem with our world is that we get dragged down we are dragged down as individuals by our addiction's our vices our flaws our debt. Many rise above these problems, most do not the ones who rise above are stronger the lesser ought to be left to rot.
As a society we are dragged down by the lesser as well our stagnation is the direct result of people who cannot manage their own minds and passions the spenders the drinkers the smokers a weight upon our world.
Let them die and as they rot they will e forgotten those with mental fortitude should be the ones to triumph. This is how we evolve by selection the strongest survive and the weakest die of this is a cruel reality but we grow and prosper and we live and we die.
When you die you will be forgotten your accomplishments everything you ever dead just another dead friend you will get a page in the yearbook and people will cry for a while maybe they will remember you next year they probably wont you will be forgotten but a rotting corpse under six feet of earth. You will never have a chance to triumph You are but a failed by product of evolution weakening our race.
Be strong be human don't whine about cutting yourselves rise above be stronger forget your pain forget your dead friends they rot you prosper.
The jokes are funny by the way
"i wish my lawn was emo so it would cut itself"

113 | Left by N_x_2 | Jul. 19, 2009 at 3:24pm

i am the one that cuts. i am the one they talk about, the one they WOULD talk about, if i could be honest with them about what i feel. i recently came out for the first time about the cutting, the burning, what the scars are really from. i came out to my parents, to my best friend, to my youth pastor. and although things arent the same with them as they were before, there is hope. i won't always have to be the suicidal depressed , someday, somehow, things will get better.

114 | Left by carly | Jul. 20, 2009 at 8:54am

it fills me with hope to know that i'm not alone, that i am indeed more than my wounds and old scars. to know that there are others fighting right alongside of me, even when the people in my immediate circles don't understand and reject me. i've heard plenty of ugly jokes, been demeaned by looks and remarks. but ultimately, i'm learning to believe that i am worth more, that i am better things. i'm learning to fight for those better things.

115 | Left by ameillia | Jul. 22, 2009 at 2:39pm

This makes me feel not so alone with all the crude jokes made. Thank you. <3

116 | Left by AshleyMarie | Jul. 22, 2009 at 3:50pm

I loved what you wrote.
I've been going through alot, and ive made many mistakes.
but i feel what im dealing with is not enough for what ive done to be an excuse. i dont know why. and i just felt alone.but there was nothing i could.

thank you so much for this organization,
reading all the comments and stories really helped me realize that i am not alone.
thank you <3

117 | Left by mary | Jul. 22, 2009 at 5:38pm

This site was brought to my attention by a friend of mine. Me and her were both cutters and she has recovered and stopped but for me it has been much harder. I struggle daily with the urge to put that razor to my skin and pull.

I was diagnosed as a severe manic depressant 2 years ago and I have been through therapy and medication but neither helped. They actually made me worse. And I thought I was alone in the world. Like I could trust noone because noone understood what I was going through and how i felt. But thanks to TWLOHA I now know that I'm not alone. That there are other people out there that have gone or are going through what I've gone through and still going through.

Its a daily struggle but because of TWLOHA I am willing to fight harder than ever to beat my addiction and come clean.

Thank you TWLOHA. You have literally saved my life.

118 | Left by Lena | Jul. 24, 2009 at 6:24pm

To all those at To Write Love On Her Arms.


Wow.. I discovered this site through my best friend, she told me that it changed her life. I'll admit now, I thought there was nothing that could do such things. She was unhappy, as was I. She told me she'd found hope, and she'd found it with you. With the way she felt about this group. She'd found.. Home. I was so unhappy that I turned to her and asked her, "What can I do? Nothing gives me joy anymore." Her reply was always the same. "Visit the TWLOHA site. I promise you'll feel better."

To understand a bit more about why this website gave me hope, and indeed, saved my life, you should know why I was unhappy to begin with. I often felt, and indeed, feel, like there is no where I can call home. I don't belong, and I don't have a family. My older brother is a druggie, an alcoholic, and is currently in jail. My older sister is addicted to antidepressants. My father hits me, and my mother is too spineless to tell him otherwise. I am homesick. Not for my home, because I'd gladly never go back. But homesick for all the things I'll never have. I found comfort in only two things; cutting + music. Soon after, I found things like drink, and minor drugs. But nothing worked like cutting did. drink + drugs offered me an escape but sooner or later, i fell back to reality. I could lose myself in music, but it always ended. With cutting, I enjoyed it. I felt safe in the fact that it was myself hurting me, it was because of me that I felt this pain, no one else. And that when it was over, I'd have a scar to remind myself it is all my fault.

When I found TWLOHA, I instantly found a family. I still cut. I drink, but for fun. For my friends birthdays. Christmas. I don't need an escape. I don't do drugs anymore, because I don't need to. My family life is still as bad as ever, but my friends, music and TWLOHA helps me more than anything.

I am 15.

Thank you. <3

119 | Left by Jadee. | Jul. 27, 2009 at 7:23am

Hello TWLOHA,<3

I'd like to start by saying.. AMAZING GROUP. <3 Thanks a bunch, really. ;D

Also, does anyone know where I can buy TWLOHA stuff? If so, can they add + tell me on my msn. *below.* Also, if anyone ever needs a chat, I like to think I'm a good person to talk to.

leialiebe@hotmail.co.uk [:

I LOVE TWLOHA. <3

120 | Left by Leia. | Jul. 27, 2009 at 7:26am

I would like to say that I have never made a joke about cutting or cutters in general, but I can't. It wasn't until my best friend began to cut our sophomore year of high school that I had any experience with it. Since then she has stopped cutting and has been away from any kinds of blades for about 2 years. I am so incredibly proud of her and all that she has achieved since then. Her and I made promises to eachother that she would stop cutting and I would stop doing drugs. I ultimately broke my end of this promise but she stuck to it. We both love TWLOHA and when I asked her why she doesn't have a shirt or something she just says that she doesn't think it's been enough time. I think she deserves one and I want to give her one as a gift but I don't know how she'll take it. What should I do?

121 | Left by lin | Jul. 29, 2009 at 8:56am

i really dont know what i am, i dont grab a knife when i feel really stressed, i scratch with my nails, when i get nervous i just start freaking out and try to get my mind off everything and think of the pain. i practicly torture myself with bad memories. i am so scared of the worl and i dont know how much more of this i can take. i am so scared of everything i dont like talking to ppl or leaving myhouse.
i need help

122 | Left by Amanda | Aug. 7, 2009 at 5:07pm

Wow. that was scary and like most the last paragraph left me tearful. I know the feeling being the "butt" of all jokes even though most of my friends don't know about it; and yeah.. It can tear you down more than anything else when it gets at this point, especially when you have the people you love most doing it. and also you feel as if you cannont tell them because they will find it 'socially unexceptable.'

Lizzy.x

123 | Left by Lizzy. | Aug. 11, 2009 at 2:22pm

i agrree completlly.
and we all need MORe people to realize this.
that were not perfect. and some of us cant accept it.

124 | Left by deleted | Aug. 13, 2009 at 7:00pm

i've been a cutter for five years now.and still no one knows.but i'm so tired of hearing the jokes and the emo comments.whoever wrote this, thank you.we need more ppl that support instead of diss.who try to build up instead of tear down.
THANK YOU...

125 | Left by J | Sep. 5, 2009 at 10:13pm

My mum found out that i used to be a cutter after i finally decided to go swimming in front of her (and in doing so revealed my scarred torso). A couple of hours after mum found out, the rest of the family (no-one else knew, and still don't) returned. For some reason the conversation took some odd turns, and resulted in a few careless jokes about cutting. They hurt my feelings because they were being made by my family, and they drew out and teased (in a generic mode, not addressed to me) exactly what i feared about my own actions. That was entirely understandable, because i know what i thought about self=-harm before i fell in to it myself, but what hurt for me, was that they didn't know better, when i had the power to address that ignorance and hadn't.

xx

126 | Left by rich | Sep. 6, 2009 at 4:04pm

wow.... ok so i no what ur saying...ive been cutting for 4 years now....ive lost many friends over it and attempted to stop many ,many time....i always slip thou...i believe in this cuase soooo much...and i wish on many days that i could be strong enough so that i wouldn't pick it up agian...but i still struggle with it daily....its been like 4 days since the last time and i can only hope that i last just one more day each day...good luck everyone and ty twloha...u r helping people more then u realize.

127 | Left by ali | Sep. 14, 2009 at 1:49pm

thank you so much for writing this jamie, because of you i finally have peace tonight <3

128 | Left by Sharon | Sep. 28, 2009 at 10:08pm

Have you guys heard of A.C.E? It's a USAF prgram to get people to talk about their suicidal thoughts.

I think it's really good and I know people in the military who appreciate both TWLOHA and A.C.E.

Also, as person struggling with both self-harm and suicidal thoughts, I wanna say thank you for creating this. It can save lives, it HAS saved lives.

129 | Left by Marizza | Oct. 1, 2009 at 11:17pm

thanks so much. this means alot to me. i really hate it when people make those jokes. it makes me mad to think of how inconsiderate people really are.

130 | Left by crockett | Oct. 12, 2009 at 11:36am

i am the same girl who wrote comment # 127... i am now getting close to 30 days cut-free, ty TWLOHA i couldnt have done it with out ya'll.:D

131 | Left by ali | Oct. 24, 2009 at 2:07pm

Agree with #131 and #127 - its people like you that help. 2 weeks and going strong. Thank you for making me feel like I'm not alone, and that I can pull through.

132 | Left by P | Oct. 28, 2009 at 4:01am

I had never heard of this organization until I saw one of my friends on facebook was going to attend the "TWLOHA" event on the 13th. I checked it out and was shocked and relieved at the same time at what I found. I never knew why I used to get depressed, but I used to get angry, upset, sad, and detached from the people I loved all the time. No reason. Maybe there was and I never looked deep enough to see. It's been three years since the last time I cut. I saw what it did to my friends and family. And when my other friends were cutting, I saw what it did to me. I believe in this cause so much. I've never made a joke, but I've heard so very many of them and I've pretended to smile along. It's no laughing matter. This is so serious and it's so important that we help people who need it rather than laugh at them. For me, I felt that it was the only option I had left. No one deserves to have that feeling. Everyone deserves to have a life without scars. Mine are almost gone now but when I feel upset I look at my arm where the red lines used to be. And I let myself breathe and I remember how I used to feel and I try to think of how I want to feel.
It's not the only option. And you're not alone.

133 | Left by kraykay | Oct. 29, 2009 at 5:57pm

It's so nice in any case to find we as never alone in so many hardships we face just living. If anyone ever needs someone to talk to, were here, I'm here.

134 | Left by Mary Elle | Nov. 9, 2009 at 11:35pm

this was a really amazing blog, wow. cutting really isnt a joke, and i get really mad when ppl joke about it, too. thx for showing me i'm just a person, not a "cutter", i'm just like everyone else, that really helped me, thank you so much (wel i dont cut anymore, i used to tho and i still feel the guilt)

135 | Left by emma | Nov. 10, 2009 at 11:07am

i am happy im not the only one that feels like that.. it really hurts when your mom tells you that she wishes you would have just finished the job.. meaning she wishes i would have just killed myself.

136 | Left by Arey | Nov. 11, 2009 at 7:14am

my ex girlfriend does drugs and cuts and lets guys use her. i tried to stop her but i couldnt. she'd always do it behind my back and hook up with guys even when we were together. i still love her more than life itself and pray for her everynight. it hurts like hell knowing that she's out there still doing those things but there isnt anything that i can do anymore. she told me i ruined her life because i tried to stop her and now she's completely shunned me out.

137 | Left by kev | Nov. 12, 2009 at 10:01pm

I really love this PostSecret and I like that it was brought to awareness the fact that y'know, these problems are not a punchline. They actually hurt. I've struggled with self-harm for 3 years and I still find it hard to just look at my scars and prevent myself from doing it again. People look at my scars and tease me, going 'EMO' or 'WTF dude, don't be all sensitive' and sometimes I wish people just followed that old saying, if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all. this blog is amazing though, and I do love the message it brings. Kudos to the whole movement.

138 | Left by Gabe | Nov. 14, 2009 at 4:20am

OMG i related to this so much.
I'm in treatment right now and the peaple here don't understand whats really going on with me.
So instead of helping me, they just make fun of me and joke about it. So when i told them about it they sort of understood.
So thatnk you to who ever posted that. It was what i relly wanted to hear xoxo

139 | Left by Joshua | Nov. 14, 2009 at 10:54am

hi my names ali ive written here before and it helps i feel like its the place im not judged.....today makes 100 cut-free ...on the 1st day of a brand new year 2010 and im just now 100 days cut-free....i feel insane and alone on so many days....i still bury old memories and ever so slowly fading scares and heck some days i even wonder how i can do this but then i come here and i see renennes story and i see these other people who know my fight not because i tell them my story but because it is there story just as much as it is mine this cause has saved my life on so many occasion....and heres my thing if u feel alone just look up ....a stastic in 2009 alone said that 1 in 5 females and 1 in 7 males cut ....ur not NOT alone im realizing it more and more everyday....i love twloha and this movement of love ts important and i thank God that someones finally decided to notice such a thing like this thats often done and hidden thank you.

140 | Left by ali | Jan. 1, 2010 at 2:41pm

That secret was posted the day before I found my best friend wasted in his car. Four days before he started cutting again. That was the first experience I had ever had with someone close to me suffering that way. Later that year I went through six more situations like that, two being myself. When I saw this, I almost cried. For so long, people around me made those jokes. My brother was the worst for it. This secret and the struggles of my friends gave me the courage to tell them to shut up, and they did. Jamie, I thank God everyday for putting you on this earth. You have saved so many lives and inspired so many people, including myself. Your words are pure poetry, and the best part is that they are truth. You are such an incredible person. I love you and everything you stand for. You have shown me my worth and opened my eyes. Thank you so much for everyhing you do.

141 | Left by Emily | Jan. 3, 2010 at 9:09pm

Thank u so much I have a little more hope now, I've gone 3 whole weeks with out cutting this is the hardest thing I have ever done but I know Uniat keep going:') thanks

142 | Left by Shannon | Jan. 4, 2010 at 10:13am

reading this made me feel so much less alone.
this is incredible, this whole movement is inspiring.
thank you so, so much ♥

143 | Left by Clare | Jan. 6, 2010 at 10:37am

This whole thing made me cry. I used to cut and in a few months, I will secretly celebrate the day I stopped cutting, but it's really hard to resist doing it. I can hold off for a while, but then I get out the scissors and right as I'm holding the scissors I throw them at a wall and started crying. I miss how it felt, but it's not right, It's nort healthy. I cannot do that to myself again. I can't hurt more people. But on time I was riding my bus with two of my friends and another, two knowing about my self-harming and only one not. Those three were talking and I was sitting alone listening to music, one of my four favorite things to do, along with dancing, singing,and writing. The boy I like rides the bus, too and he was sitting around my friends and me, listening to music, starely blankly at the floor of the bus. He's very passionate about music. One of my friends who did know about me said to him, "You look so emo," and that really cut me deep because she knew about my "issues" and she has called me emo before. It really hurt my feelings for her to say something like that to him when she has no idea what he thinks and feels and lives. They all talk about "emos" (aka, in their minds, cutters)so lightly and never think that it might hurt my feelings. Sometimes I find it hard to believe these things you say, but it really touches me. I know it's hard to tell when people are suffering for all the things this movement stands for because that's one of the reasons I cut myself. Because I wanted someone to show they cared about me and help me. Then I tried to take my life when I realized no one noticed. Well, I thought no one cared. But some poeple are very good about showing they do. Not all are perfect, but when I can tell it's wholehearted, it makes me happy. This was wholehearted. So thank you.

144 | Left by Anon | Jan. 15, 2010 at 1:34pm

In a way, I kind of feel glad for the people who make those jokes. Yes, I wish they would stop, and yes, it hurts, but I'm glad that they don't know how much it hurts to watch someone you love hurt themselves like that. I'm glad that they don't struggle with self-injury like so many of us do.
I'm not saying that they should continue to mock people and their pain, but at the same time, I would never wish that they could see cutting from the eyes of someone who lives with that pain every day. I would never wish that kind of heartache on anyone.

145 | Left by Adrii | Jan. 15, 2010 at 5:45pm

so yeah...
i'm the girl from comment #125...
thank you to all the ppl who keep commenting on this story...
it's ppl like you that make 46 days cut free easier...
thank you for the support even though you don't know you're giving it...
be safe tonight...
J

146 | Left by J | Jan. 22, 2010 at 8:35pm

I used to make fun and laugh at these cruel jokes as a kid. Now after facing what they really mean and others still laughing hurts me. More recently I felt like I had to laugh because it hurt so much. This just made my night as well as many others. Life is hard, but someone ALWAYS cares. Thank you so much.

147 | Left by Anonymous | Feb. 8, 2010 at 8:46pm

I know completely how you feel Anon. I am always labeled emo, but also picked on for good grades. I hate the color red sometimes i feel like throwing up. I am grateful to know that people understand and things will be fine.

148 | Left by Anonymous | Feb. 8, 2010 at 8:49pm

i tried to stop, i truly did.
but my boyfriend of 9 months decided he knew how to make me stop better than i did... then he ignored me when i told him his way wouldnt work. he broke up with me a week after that. (that was 3 weeks ago). today i just found out he has a new girlfriend... and im pretty sure he left me for her, he didnt want to help me anymore...
needless to say, i'm cutting again. and burning. he saved me from killing myself once, but i dont know if anyone can save me this time...

149 | Left by m.nicole | Mar. 28, 2010 at 12:17pm

I can relate. A while ago my friend was making a joke of an accidental burn I had on my arm from cooking saying I did it on purpose and laughing about it infront of other people. What's horrible is she knows I've self harmed in the past (but doesn't know I still do) and she has even done it herself. I'm sick of hearing all the stupid 'jokes'. They have no idea what it like so can't they just shut up. Thankyou for posting this. x

150 | Left by Anon | May. 25, 2010 at 4:03pm