To Write Love on Her Arms

More than business and beer.

Jan. 12, 2011 at 10:06pm

Zumiez invites company founders to come to Colorado for their annual "100k" event, which honors the top employees from their stores across America. TWLOHA shirts are sold in Zumiez stores and i was thrilled to get the invite as the event has a ton of history and attending would mean the chance to thank the Zumiez folks for their support and also to be in the room with some of the most influential people in the industry i grew up with (surf and skate).

But the last few weeks have been hard and as the date got closer, i was dreading it. i just wanted to stay home and lay in bed and not talk to anyone. i am a person who struggles with depression and some things have happened recently and it's made for a tough few weeks.

One of the things the Zumiez 100k event is known for is amazing athletes. The best of the best in skateboarding, snowboarding and surfing make their way to Colorado each January to attend. So i asked my friend C.J. Hobgood if he might want to come along to represent TWLOHA. C.J. is one of my best friends and he also happens to be one of the best surfers in the world. More than anything, if i'm honest, it meant that i wouldn't have to go alone. i invited my sister Emily as well, for the same reason. We flew to Denver two days ago and made our way to Keystone.

Midway through the event last night, all of the founders in attendance were invited to the stage to say a few words. i was in the mix with the guys who started DC Shoes and Vans and Element and a bunch of other great brands. i was standing next to Shepard Fairey from Obey. (The Obama "Hope" poster, Shepard came up with that). i felt like a kid on the first day of school, knowing hardly anyone and not wanting to screw up and hoping people would like me.

The speeches mostly fell into two categories.

1: "Thanks so much for selling our stuff."

2. "How the F*** are you guys? Anyone excited to party?!!!" (These generate lots of cheering)

Standing on that stage, it was a special moment for me. i worked in a surf shop in high school and then i worked for Quiksilver and Hurley after that. My Hurley job was a dream come true after growing up in love with the surf industry. But i walked away from it as TWLOHA began to take off, because TWLOHA felt too special to walk away from.

So it was quite a surprise, a little more than four years later, to find myself on stage with the captains of my favorite industry. And suddenly, it hit me: i have something to say. i shouldn't be nervous. i shouldn't be initimidated. i have something to say and i believe it with everything in me. That's what TWLOHA exists for. To talk about the things that need to be talked about. To use words to communicate to people that they matter, that they are not alone, that their life is worth fighting for, that hope is real. We believe that words are powerful. The hearts that beat inside us, they ask for more than business and beer.

The microphone came to me and i did my best to speak to deeper things, to how and why TWLOHA exists, what we want people to know and what the support of the folks in the room allows us to do. i closed with thanking them in advance for a day they're making possible, a day coming soon when we'll be able to say we've given one million dollars to treatment and recovery.

Backstage, i ran into folks i used to work with at Quiksilver and Hurley. Some of them knew about TWLOHA and some of them didn't. It was great to see old friends and it was significant to reflect on my story, on all the years before TWLOHA, all the days that lead to now.

But the highlights rarely happen backstage. It's the folks who fill the room that make the night. And my night was made after the event, as more than 1500 Zumiez employees gathered for the after party, this night to celebrate their hard work. It was a sea of people but one by one, the sea surprised me. People stopped me with the kindest words...

"Thank you for doing what you do."

"When people come in our stores, i love telling them about TWLOHA."

"Your organization saved my sister's life."

i was blown away. i used to think of Zumiez as a chain of stores that sold our shirts. After last night, i know that it's the people that make the place. A store is walls and racks and clothes. It's the people that make it something special. And last night, i was completely shocked by how much these folks care, by what our message means to them, by what it adds to their day - the chance to sell something that connects with their story or the story of someone they love.

Forgive me for rambling. i want to do a better job this year of bringing you guys along for the ride. i feel like i did that early on and then i got away from it... So this was my trip to Colorado. i didn't want to come and now i'm glad that i came. For too long now, i've been freaked out about everything missing, about the people not in the room. Last night reminded me to focus on the people who are. It is a privilege to do a job that i believe in, to be part of a story that is so much bigger than me. Thank you to the kind folks from all across America who reminded me last night. Thanks for your kindness and your caring and your support. Thanks for using your voices. And thanks for reminding me of my own.

We're all in this together.

Peace to you tonight.

jamie

Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

Comments (27)

Thank you for writing this. It's always nice to have a reminder that other people are human, too, as that's something I often forget.

1 | Left by Anon | Jan. 12, 2011 at 9:35pm

I love all of your blogs Jamie! It's funny cause as i was reading this, when i got to the part where you said you didnt want to go, You just wanted to say in bed, it was like reading one of your past posts! It's as if, the times you just REALLY don't want to go are the times you are totally blessed and reminded of why you do what you do! Remember that the next time you are just worn out and tired and just want to stay home. Tell yourself, 'This is going to be an amazing event because my flesh is fighting me so hard right now!' Go expecting even when you just dont want to be there

2 | Left by Amber Marissa | Jan. 12, 2011 at 9:36pm

I'm glad I found this :) In half an hour I'm leaving on a weekend trip with a group of people I didn't think I had any desire to hang out with but this has reminded me that even if I don't want to go now, that when I come back I might have had an awesome weekend with awesome people.

And now that I think about it, it's been a year since i found out about TWLOHA and all the amazing stuff you guys do and all I have to say is thank you for your messages of hope and everything during 2010, it helped me through a really crappy time, especially your blogs like this one Jamie.

Thank you so much :)
Emily xoxox

3 | Left by Emily | Jan. 12, 2011 at 9:37pm

For those of us who struggle with depression, it is a blessing to hear that while you face it too, you continue to overcome and make a difference. I want to be able to do that more than anything.
Thank you for going to these places even when you don't feel like it to share on behalf of so many of us: the stories, the pain, the hope.
God bless you with peace, hope, and the continued strength of an overcomer.

4 | Left by Katy | Jan. 12, 2011 at 9:40pm

I'm sorry for your losses, and everyone's. I'm facing a new year without some people too and I understand the feelings. But we need to do good for them.
Your writing is amazing, please keep us more involved like this this year. I miss the early blogs, the ones that were more than just events. Get those back too :)

5 | Left by Anon | Jan. 12, 2011 at 10:14pm

"For too long now, i've been freaked out about everything missing, about the people not in the room. Last night reminded me to focus on the people who are."
I needed to hear this. Thank you, Jamie. :)

6 | Left by Kayla | Jan. 12, 2011 at 10:14pm

Thank you for sharing this Jamie. "We're all in this together" : we definitely are.

x

Veee

7 | Left by Veee | Jan. 13, 2011 at 2:15am

"For too long now, i've been freaked out about everything missing, about the people not in the room. Last night reminded me to focus on the people who are."

needed to read that. helped a lot with so many things. thanks jamie :)

8 | Left by Leesha | Jan. 13, 2011 at 7:36am

Jamie--you DO have something to day. You say it every day. Repetition doesn't make it old, it makes it relevant. Never let yourself feel like it doesn't matter because you've already said it. Keep saying it. Say it to folks who've never heard it, and those who've heard it a hundred times. Keep saying it.

YOU matter. THEY matter. WE matter.

Keep on keepin' on.

9 | Left by TheMom | Jan. 13, 2011 at 8:21am

Jamie,
When I saw the link to this blog on twitter saying that you had been in Colorado I thought I had missed something on this sites calender saying you would be in Co. I live in Colorado and love it about as much as I love TWLOHA. I love it so much that last summer I got my first tattoo and it was this organization name. I did it to always remind me of what you stand for and how amazing you are Jamie. I was glad to read at the end of the blog that you were glad you went to the event. I hope that you can always feel the power of this organization that you started. I have been so grateful that I found it back in 2006.

10 | Left by Carina | Jan. 13, 2011 at 12:12pm

Jamie,
Y'know, up until now, I never really put any thought to the fact that you might struggle with depression too. I always knew you had a message of hope for all who needed it, but I didn't really think that you might need it too. :) Every blog you right brings me closer to hope, and I have my fingers crossed that through you, me, and everyone else, others are also brought to that same place. :)
Have an awesome day.

11 | Left by Lacey | Jan. 13, 2011 at 12:18pm

I have been an avid voice of TWLOHA since the first followers on myspace, and as always Jamie you blow me away. words will never be able to explain how grateful i always am for your honesty and openness with perfect strangers. and it is a gentle reminder that there are others out there that just really feel everything.
thank you for all that you do,

12 | Left by catnip | Jan. 13, 2011 at 12:26pm

This is what I tell myself: "I am worthwhile. I am making a difference. I am doing my best. I am learning."
Jamie, you are making a difference. Thanks.

13 | Left by Heather | Jan. 13, 2011 at 12:30pm

Thank you so much for sharing, for still trying. I know that being in the position of trying to let people know they're not alone carries a heavy weight with it-- the weight of the times when people leave, and the weight of simply being afraid people will leave. It's not an easy thing.

Thank you for sharing with us despite everything that is at risk. Thank you for letting me know that I'm not the only one who sometimes gets so paralyzed by what is not that I forget about what is.

I am praying for you and I am encouraged by your words, as I have been for three years now. Here's to a beautiful 2011.

14 | Left by Mary | Jan. 13, 2011 at 1:13pm

"Thanks for using your voices. And thanks for reminding me of my own." No Jamie, thank YOU for using your voice and for constantly reminding me of my own. Depression is (for me anyway) a hard topic to talk about. I worry how people will react, if they will judge, but most especially of all, if they will even listen. But as you said in your blog, the message of hope that TWLOHA gives is too important NOT to share.
Thank you for your voice, for the quotes that you share, and for all the love you send out.

15 | Left by Kirsten Nygren Formea | Jan. 13, 2011 at 1:54pm

I would like to thank you for being honest about struggling with depression. To as a founder of TWLOHA and be raw about your struggles is amazing. Through rawness, you have brought me hope. Thank you for continuing hope and being a rambler. Ramblers enjoy other ramblers.
- I am praying for you.

16 | Left by Katheraine | Jan. 13, 2011 at 2:45pm

"But the last few weeks have been hard and as the date got closer, i was dreading it. i just wanted to stay home and lay in bed and not talk to anyone. i am a person who struggles with depression and some things have happened recently and it's made for a tough few weeks."

You're not the only one, Jamie. :)

17 | Left by Jovie | Jan. 13, 2011 at 3:55pm

Beautiful.
Jamie, you and TWLOHA help &save lives & have such a positive impact on people more than you can ever imagine.

18 | Left by Ashley | Jan. 13, 2011 at 5:13pm

Much love to you, and endless gratitude. Thank you.

19 | Left by Mia | Jan. 13, 2011 at 6:30pm

Sounds like a nice experience. :) Like some other people who commented I'm glad that you mentioned about your depression, it's a hard thing to admit. I find it tough to just come out to someone and tell them about depression/self-injury/addiction/suicide. I remember being really nervous while telling a close friend of mine about me cutting myself. Thank you Jamie and everyone else on the To Write Love On Her Arms team. You guys give me hope everyday. :)It's okay about the rambling by the way
Jennifer

20 | Left by Jennifer | Jan. 14, 2011 at 1:33pm

That is so amazing! I would have never even thought about the people in a hurley or quicksilver store like that. Kudo's for going and speaking, you did the right thing and probably made some one there's night (trust me you do it here every night!) This is my first time commenting so I have to add thanks dude so much for this website. You have no clue what it means to me and my friend that there is such a large community to turn to. We both have depression and are pretty young, so this really does help more than I can ever explain. You keep us going and the videos keep everything positive. Whatever happens dude (and people commenting that helps just as much!) keep writing. Write about everything and anything, because you are living hope! (Sorry for the general corniness.)

21 | Left by Ava | Jan. 15, 2011 at 12:15am

I will never be able to say 'thank you' enough, Jamie.

22 | Left by Kendra | Jan. 17, 2011 at 8:44am

Thank you for sharing this. It means a lot to me when other people are open about their issues with depression. Someday I hope that I too can be that brave. Hope always,

Lou

23 | Left by Louise | Jan. 17, 2011 at 7:51pm

I had a rough night not too long ago. I was trying desperately to fall asleep, but my tears wouldn't allow me to. I'm not entirely sure how, but the poster above my bed fell onto the ground. Underneath was a "Love is the Movement" sign I had posted on my wall a few years ago that I'd forgotten about. I smiled, and the tears became those of joy. That simple statement have me a little hope. :-) And I plan on keeping it there, without the poster covering it from now on. Thank you TWLOHA. You keep me motivated.

24 | Left by Amanda Kate | Jan. 27, 2011 at 3:55pm

there right all of us are in this together we all deal with pain in different ways but some way we are all the same all of us have hearts and we have all lost everything and regained.

25 | Left by anna | Feb. 9, 2011 at 3:56pm

your damn straight on "A store is walls and racks and clothes. It's the people that make it something special"
i am so glad that you had a good time despite not wanting to go at first. i live where you visited to and was actually right at the keystone resort skiing that very day you were there. If i had known you were here i would have loved to sit down and talk with you. i think what your doing is great. visit again soon!

26 | Left by mary rose | Feb. 11, 2011 at 6:13am

Thank you so much for sharing this, your writing is always inspiring.

27 | Left by Janessa | Feb. 12, 2011 at 5:05pm

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