At the end of our HEAVY AND LIGHT intro video, the crowd stood looking toward the stage, expecting the curtain to open to the first song of the night. Instead? An invitation from a very special poet in the balcony.





Did you know we collaborated with Anis on this special shirt based on another one of his poems? The words to "Shake the Dust" are printed inside the shirt. Watch Anis perform the poem at HEAVY AND LIGHT 2010 by clicking HERE.

To view the shirt in the TWLOHA Online Store, click HERE.

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Did you know that we've released four new videos in the last two weeks? 

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Five.
Four.
Three.
Two.
One.

The ball drops and fireworks. Resolutions are made.
People scream and people kiss and is it possible to change?
Is it really truly possible to leave the past behind?

Welcome to Midnight.

Another year comes to a close. Another year begins.
With a moment in between.
Why the fuss?
Why the fame and fireworks?
Is it more than hype? More than something else to sell us?
Is there something to this holiday? Something true inside it?
Because isn't there something inside us that aches for change...
Dreams it to be possible...
To let go.
To hold on.
To leave it behind.
To start again.
To be new.
Is it possible?

If you're reading this, if there's air in your lungs, then you're alive today tonight right now.
And who can know how long we have here...
And is it a gift? Was it ever a gift? Did that ever feel true or could that one day feel true?
Are there things to fight to live for?
Moments and people... Weddings and children and all your different dreams...
Love...
Is your life more than just your own?
And are there broken things you were made to fight to fix?
Broken families, broken friends... Injustice.
Will you move for things that matter?

Wouldn't it be nice if change took just a moment?
Wouldn't it be nice if it were that easy?
Midnight and we're new. Midnight and the past erased. Midnight and we're free.

It seems to come slow. It seems to be a surgery.
Forgiveness. Healing. Sobriety. Letting go. Starting over.
It seems to happen slowly over time.
One day at a time, the choice made new each morning.
Will you fight?
Will you fight to be healthy?
Will you fight to be free?
Will you fight for your story?
Will you fight to get the help you need?

Change takes more than a moment, but maybe there's also something to this celebration of a moment, something to the way it speaks to us, something to the way we fear it, and dream it to be true. Maybe it's the most honest moment of the year.

It's possible to change.

Welcome to Midnight.

Here's to the possibilities.

Peace to You.
jamie

PS: Join the conversation at #welcometomidnight on Twitter.

We're getting together a week from tonight to sing some songs and talk about it. You're invited.

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You can vote once daily 12/1-12/8

Today, December officially begins and so does the final round of voting for the American Giving Awards presented by Chase. TWLOHA is one of five charities with a chance to win $1,000,000. Your support helped us win Round 1 back in October and now we’re looking at the chance not only to win this money but to do it on national television, as the Awards will be broadcast nationwide on NBC.

Your support got us here and we need you now more than ever. Winning this money would allow us to take our message of hope and help on the road to more places and in more creative ways than ever before. Beyond that, we think the chance to speak to a national television audience is something pretty special.

You can vote once daily 12/1 thru 12/8, so we’re asking for 8 votes over the next 8 days. If you want to do more, you can tweet, retweet, post on Facebook and Tumblr, even host a voting party at your school or in your community. There’s room to get creative. There’s room for your passion and your voice.

TWLOHA started small and we’ve seen amazing doors open as we’ve continued to journey together. That’s what it’s all about…

To see our big idea (how we would spend the money) and to cast your first vote, go here.

On behalf of the entire TWLOHA team, thank you for supporting us and thank you for caring about other people. 

Peace to you.
jamie

Comments (34) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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We hope that today is a good day, a day spent with family and friends and a day to pause with thanks. We know for some it’s not, or it’s simply not that simple.

To everyone heavy with the weight of things missing or fractured today,

It doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful or unthankful.

It only means you’re human.

And you’re not alone in that.

We lose things in this life. We all do.

Things are taken. Things break and leave and we are kept from what we love. We are kept from peace.

If today finds you more aware of what you’ve lost than what you have, this is for you, a note to say you’re not alone. A lot of people feel what you feel today.

Perhaps today finds you with the same faces as one year ago today. And when they ask how you are or if anything is new, perhaps you wish you had some different answers. Answers that sound like change or pride or progress.  Maybe you wanted this year to be about change but not a lot has changed. Or maybe changes came but they were not the ones you hoped for.

It’s okay. Where you are and what you feel and what you wish was different. It’s okay.

You’re still here and this day will pass and tomorrow has never happened before. The same is even true for the rest of today. Things can still be new. There is room for healing and surprise and even room for change.

This life is not a race. It’s not a contest or a competition. It’s a patient broken story breaking more and healing more with all our different days, rich with winning as well as losing. The beauty is that we get to go together.

The highlight of my 2011 has been to get to know someone walking through the hardest year that they have ever known. For them, it's been a year of loss and losing. To get to know this person in this time, it’s been nothing like a burden. It’s been a privilege and a blessing and a surprise. It’s caused me to believe in better things, reminded me of dreams I used to dream and how i hope to live.

We’re meant to win and lose together. We’re meant to know some people on this journey, to walk it together, to mourn and cry one day, to laugh and dance the next. We get to carry each other and we get to remind each other all that’s true, of everything not lost. We get to remind each other that we absolutely positively can't give up, can't settle. We get to say that these terrible wonderful journeys are priceless and we must keep going. Not because we have to but because our stories our bigger than ourselves and because we just might be surprised.

On behalf of our entire team, please know that we’re grateful beyond words for you and your support. We could not have dreamed this thing up, this story that you let us live, the chance to do these jobs that we believe in, this work of bringing hope and help to people all across the planet. We’re thankful and we say thank you.

Peace to you today.

And Happy Thanksgiving.

jamie

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What does it mean when something is haunted? What exactly is a ghost?

Is it when something from the past refuses to leave? Is it when something dies but doesn't go?

It's easy to talk about haunted places. A haunted house. A haunted building. We smile at those stories. We get excited. There is no stigma, no shame. But what about haunted people? Isn't it true that, as people, our lives can become haunted things as well? The past can haunt the present. The past can steal the future.

Isn't that what most of this is about? Something painful in our past? Something breaks or something dies and in living with the pain, we begin to live with ghosts. And  by our choices, we either ask the ghosts to leave or we help them make a home.

If we can talk about haunted buildings, then we should be able to talk about haunted people. We should be able to put a hand up and say, "I'm not doing well" or "I need some help" or "Can we talk?"

Maybe we begin to ask the ghosts to leave when we begin to ask some other folks to join us in our haunted places. In the broken parts of stories. Our messes and our questions. To meet us, to know us, to help, to care, to listen.

Maybe we begin to help our friends become unhaunted when we let them know we're not afraid of their pain. When we ask to really know them. When we ask to see inside. When we do our part to go beyond the distance and the smile, deeper to "who are you?" and "how are you?" and "are you okay?"

i have been a haunted house. i have had things die but stay and i didn't know how to make them leave. And there were certainly times i didn't want them to leave because they were beautiful. They were no longer real but they were beautiful. They were bridges to brighter days. i thought they were my dreams.

But reality is the best place to live. Reality is where healing happens. In the honest light and by the voices of our friends.

We all have our past. We all have our pain. We will all know ghosts from time to time. But if our life is like a building, then we should open our doors to let some people see inside. And into our darkest places - into those rooms that hold our fears and dreams - we will begin to walk together. Friends with hope like candles, telling ghosts to go.

Comments (47) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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We're reminded that life is fragile today. We're reminded the power of choices, the choices of others and certainly our own. We hold the power to choose love and grace and kindness, and we hold the power to choose hate and terror and murder as well. We saw this in Norway today, in the unthinkable tragedy there. Our hearts are more than heavy for the people of Norway and our prayers are for the loved ones of the many killed. We are sorry beyond words and we stand with you today. And we say the lives mattered. Your friend. Your sister. Your neighbor. Your son. Their life mattered. Their story mattered. 

And then with the news of the death of Amy Winehouse, we pause to say and remember that Amy was a person. She was more than a voice, more than a star, more than an addict. She was somebody's daughter, somebody's friend. Our hearts are heavy for her loved ones today. 

Amy's death reminds us that addiction is real, that it has stolen the lives of thousands and hurt millions more. Families all across this planet, literally thousands of them, know the weight and struggle of this difficult and confusing disease. If you know someone that is struggling, please talk to them. Encourage them to seek help. To quote my friend Aaron Moore, "We have to balance compassion and honesty." Compassion means you tell them you love them. Honesty means you tell them the truth, even when it's uncomfortable.

Over the last five and a half years, we've learned that recovery is possible, that lives do change for the best, that sobriety is possible. We have learned the power of counseling and treatment and, though it may sound simple, we've learned the power of friendship as well. We all need a support system. We all need other people. 

Divided by oceans and borders today, we say that we are one, in all of this together. We are people mourning and people with questions and people in need. We pause to remember lives lost today, the ones in the news and the ones that go much quieter. We mourn the stories that ended too soon and we choose to fight for the ones still going. 

Peace to you, today and tonight.
jamie

Comments (21) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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A woman named Brenda wrote the words below. Our relationship with Brenda began in March, when she attended our MOVE Community Conference in Austin. Two weeks ago, Brenda lost her daughter in a car accident. The words below are words of grief, words of honesty, words of mourning. They are an expression of pain. It is our belief that they are also brilliant and beautiful and powerful. We post them here believing that Brenda is not alone in the darkness of her loss, that other people know that place, have been there or will be there. We post Brenda's words hoping that someone might read them and feel permission to be human, permission to ache. Perhaps more than anything, we post them in hopes that someone, maybe even you, might feel less alone.

The word "fuck" appears multiple times in this post. It crossed our minds not to post this here because we know that a lot of people have a problem with this word. While we certainly understand and respect that, our hope is that people will look beyond the profanity to the heart of the matter: These are the words of a grieving mother attempting to communicate how she feels. Her words are hers to choose. And while we believe that words are important, we certainly believe that people are more important.

And so we stand with Brenda in this time. And if you're hurting right now, we stand with you as well.

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You are going along and you are maintaining your ground, your dignity, your sanity, and then WHAM! It comes undone. You may be paying the person at WalMart, sitting in Torchy’s, walking, sitting, sleeping, and then WHAM! It comes undone. You lose ground, lose dignity, lose insanity and the pain is so deep the only sense of reality you have is found in drowning. I weep and I drown in the pain.

And the f u's come. Damn the f u’s. But are they not delicious? It is as if I am saying, Yes! Hand me the God damned apple!  I will take a bite. Not just a tiny bite, but a big fucking bite of everything that is wrong in this world and I will vomit it out!

To the dude that was supposed to do the ONE GOD DAMNED THING I CARED ABOUT AT THE FUNERAL.

Thank you for fucking up the service!

Thank you for not being able to show the pictures at the funeral that I SPENT PAINFUL HOURS ON! THAT NEXT TO VIDEOING HER SERVICE SO ONE DAY HER DAUGHTER COULD SEE IT, WHICH I HAVE NO DOUBT YOU FUCKED UP THAT TOO, THANK YOU FOR FUCKING UP THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO ME!

Fuck you.

I forgive you.

To the woman who I had to talk to because now I have to buy a ticket for Avigail to go with us to Maine, thank you for hearing me cry as I had to explain that her mother died and now she was mine. THANK YOU FOR ENDING THE CONVERSATION WITH, I HOPE YOUR DAUGHTER GETS BETTER! THANK YOU FOR IGNORING WHAT I WAS SAYING AND BEING A DUMB ASS!

Fuck you.

I forgive you.

To those of you who walked out of the service, first let me say this, DO NOT explain yourself to me. You can’t. You did one of the most self- centered selfish things and when I walked out to get Avigail as I planned, just coming out of such horrible pain and grief and see all of you in the lobby laughing and joking, the sight made me want to vomit right there. I was totally taken off guard by your insensitivity and I was supposed to take Avigail back in…… I couldn’t. I was totally numb the rest of the reception because I was so hurt over that moment.

Fuck you.

I forgive you.

To the woman on Mopac who tailgated me to the point I simply came to a stop right on Mopac so she would go around me, and if she got out of the car, I planned on tearing her apart one limb at a time, thank you. Thank you for being an unbelievable idiot and being a conduit for my anger instead of on someone I love.

Fuck you.

I forgive you.

To the people who fart scripture at me and don’t know how to just talk like a normal person…

Fuck you.

I forgive you.

To the people who said I don’t know what to say, I don’t have words.

Thank you.

I love you.

Thank you Michael for looking me in the eyes when you were speaking of my daughter and Avigail.

Thank you.

I love you.

Thank you Arjun, I don’t know why, but your words to me were very healing.

Thank you.

I love you.

Thank you Taqwacore kids for tweeting that I look like Patti Smith. I don’t do tweeting, Lauren tried to get me too, but I never followed through with it, but it got back to me.

Thank you.

I love you.

Thank you to the young people who have messaged me what she meant to you.

Thank you.

I love you.

Thank you to my many, many, many friends TOO MANY TO NAME! who have reached out and said, I can’t sleep because of your pain, I can’t think because of your pain. Thank you for entering into my pain with me.

Thank you.

I love you.

Thank you to To Write Love on Her Arms (www.twloha.com) who sent me flowers and have entered into the pain of thousands and are not afraid!!!

Thank you.

I love you.

Thank you Pastor Ryan and Pastor Randy for allowing messy people like me into your congregation and loving me and allowing me to be myself even though I am different from what you are used to.

Thank you.

I love you.

Thank you strippers and strip club managers that have over and over ministered to me with intense love.

Thank you.

I love you.

Thank you to my family.

Thank you.

I love you.

Thank you Justin for not committing suicide.

Thank you.

I love you.

Thank you Chriselda, my best friend, for EVERYTHING!

Thank you.

I love you.

Thank you Delayne for paying my doctor bill when I was scared I would not be able to stand to deliver my daughter’s eulogy.

Thank you.

I love you.

Thank you to every person who has donated to the fund for Avigail.

Thank you.

I love you.

Thank you music for helping me to live and breathe.

Thank you.

I love you.

Thank you silence. Thank you sky. Thank you owl. Thank you acorn. Thank you ring. Thank you worn boots. Thank you mole. Thank you sand. Thank you blood. Thank you hair. Thank you white. Thank you torn veil. Thank you dark theatre. Thank you forgiveness. Thank you broken hip. Thank you water. Thank you dance. Thank you wound. Thank you scar. Thank you pain. Thank you joy. Fuck you night, thank you morning.

I love you.

Comments (57) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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We were on the road for seven weeks, all across America, for a chapter i won't forget. The opportunity was both amazing and challenging - the chance to speak to hundreds of people every night, briefly before Anberlin would take the stage. As the weeks went by, TWLOHA was introduced to thousands of people and there was the feeling that something was happening. Chris from Bayside wore our shirt on Craig Ferguson's show and then Deon from Anberlin did the same a few days later. It was an exciting time and something like a traveling camp, everyone rooting for each other and celebrating the good news as it came. That part was incredible and yet for me it was also a strange existence, each day revolving around two or three minutes on stage.

This was early 2007, Anberlin's "Cities" U.S. tour and for me, it was also a painful time. i was in a relationship that was coming apart and so the time on the road was filled with conflict and uncertainty. Looking back, it feels almost like a movie - getting to see so many places for the first time, so much hope with the organization starting to take off and yet so much drama as well.

Along the way, there was this adorable girl who brought a little bit of sunshine everywhere we went. She was always smiling and she was always kind. Her band opened the show each night and their song "Monster" was always a highlight.

The adorable girl was Dia Frampton, and the band was Meg & Dia. Hopefully, some people discovered them on that tour. Either way, it's safe to say that a whole bunch of folks know about Dia now. Below is her cover of Kanye West's "Heartless," which she performed live on "The Voice" last night.

Comments (6) | Posted in Music by jamie tworkowski

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In both 2009 and 2010, more soldiers died by suicide than were killed in combat. On this Memorial Day, as we pause to remember the men and women killed in combat, we choose also to remember the soldiers lost to suicide.

Comments (16) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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My friend Don wrote a blog about you today and his blog suggests that you used to look a lot different than you do today. He says that you are the product of a poet and that before this poet's pen, you were not a romantic holiday.

i think i would have liked you more back then, whenever that was. The truth is that you really bother me now. i think you bother a lot of people, honestly. You show up every year right after Christmas. You turn the windows pink and you sell your diamonds on the radio and i think i've gotten five emails from 1-800-FLOWERS in the last three days. i'm not sure how you got so much power.

Don't get me wrong. It's not that i don't like love. i love love - i think it's the best thing that happens on the planet. It's the biggest dream inside me. But i bought a lie somewhere along the way. i bought the lie that says i'm not alive if i'm not in love. i bought the lie that says if i love someone but then they stop loving me or they start loving someone else, then i must have no value or power or worth. i bought the lie that says if i'm not in love, then i'm as good as dead.

And if you believe that lie long enough, it makes a giant hole. It makes a hole so big that no one person could ever begin to fill it. Not even a princess. Believe me, i've tried. To fill it with a person, to fill it with beauty, to fill it with all the things you sell. 

But i don't think it works that way. Bono says his songs come from a God-shaped hole inside of him. He's my favorite singer and he has a lot of things. He has great stories and a wife and kids and plenty of money. But in spite of all of those things, he says he still has this hole and he says that it's the reason that he sings.

i've been thinking lately that maybe i've confused a girl for God, a different one every year or two, since the first day of junior high. And man, that is a lot of pressure to put on someone, to make them God. That is a ton of power to hand someone. Especially when they're just a person. A person with questions and flaws and pain of their own.

So maybe there's a war, inside of me and for me and maybe my heart is the opposite of small. Maybe it's the opposite of cheap and empty and alone. Maybe it's sacred and enormous and wild.

To make a long story short, i think i've given you way too much power. i let you scare me and i let you name me and i let you tell me what i'm worth.

i don't want to do that anymore.

There are dreams inside of me and those are mine and my guess is that they're there for a reason. But for all the days like now where the dreams are asked to be only dreams, i'm gonna keep getting out of bed. i'm gonna keep living my story. i'm gonna believe that there is reason and purpose, and power in my life. i'm gonna believe that i'm alive inside a story bigger than my pain, bigger than everything missing.

It crossed my mind to try to ignore you, to try to go to bed early and wake up when you're gone. But i changed my mind. i am part of a gang in Florida and we're gonna get together tonight. We're going to open our computers and we're going to choose to believe that words are powerful. We're gonna do our best to tell someone something true. We're gonna ask people not to give up on their stories.

Valentine's Day, i don't hate you. i don't even blame you. Perhaps you did not name yourself. Perhaps you are the product of hundreds of years, hundreds of thousands of broken people and a million God-shaped holes.

The truth is that we're all living love stories.

Peace to you tonight.
jamie

PS: i wrote this while listening to The Script's Science & Faith.

Comments (40) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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HEAVY AND LIGHT. Our favorite night of the year.

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We go looking for what went missing. 

That person they used to call it was priceless where did they go am i that easily replaced

We wonder. We wish we didn't wonder but we wonder. And especially today.

And the lies, they aim to name us. They whisper on repeat. They know our dreams, they know our fears. The stolen things, they steal us. Steal us from our families, steal our days, even aim to steal our Christmas. 

But that person they said the most amazing things they said they saw me they said i was special i thought we were building something it was priceless to me i thought i mattered to them how could they call it cheap how could they walk away

And our phones buzz all morning with mass messages and we would trade all of them for a moment with that missing thing. 

Or maybe to forget like in Eternal Sunshine could someone just erase it

If you feel abandoned and haunted today, please know you're not alone. If you feel overwhelmed by questions and pain, please know you're not alone.

Nobody gets to name you. You are not forgettable. You are not replaceable. You are not your pain. You are sacred and special and alive.

i'm not sure what you make of Christmas but if you celebrate this day then perhaps the message is connected. Perhaps that supernatural impossible miracle baby Jesus, perhaps He came to name us. 

To say you matter. You. Priceless. Special.  Sacred. Unique. To say that all of us are also miracles. Unforgettable. Made for love. Made to be loved and known. Made to know and love. 

Do not give up.

Do. Not. Give. Up. Please.

Please. 

Find a friend today or take some space or find a song or a book that feels true. Say a prayer. "A prayer for the wild at heart kept in cages."  

If you need help, then please please ask for help. 

If today is a difficult day, then please know that you are not the only one who feels the way you feel. 

You are not the only one with things missing. Not the only house haunted. 

You are not alone today. You matter very much. You are priceless. 

You. Are. Priceless. 

Merry Christmas.

Comments (93) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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Hey Guys.

Comments (9) | Posted in General, Music by jamie tworkowski

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The idea of a day where we reflect on the things we're thankful for sounds easy enough. If you're reading this, you're probably reading it on a computer, which means you probably have a lot to be thankful for. 

Comments (42) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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TWLOHA happened by accident. It began as a simple attempt to tell a story and help a friend. That it's become a bigger thing is because of you and with that, it is yours and we want to hear from you. 

Comments (100) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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i sort of hit a wall last week. It’s the feeling that while the story I get invited to tell is impressive to some, the story that i actually live is not. i feel lately like i live a story about a guy who rides on airplanes and in rental cars and hopes the pillow is comfortable in the hotel room. The smiling irony in the whole thing is that I get invited to tell people about community but then that turns out to be something I don’t really have in my own life. i have access to it but community is something you have to choose.

So last week i started to feel the weight of too many airports and too much time away from home. But i was already committed to going to an event. In fairness, this event was a gathering that i was honored to be part of  and it would mean the chance to catch up with friends. But there would also be a lot of folks i didn’t know, which meant there would be a lot of first day of school moments where you answer the “what do you do?” question and hope that people like you. (These moments are not fun for introverts, especially tired introverts who wish they were at home.)

But instead of impressive people attempting to impress each other, i found a group of people willing to be human, willing to be honest and vulnerable in admitting the broken parts of their stories. There were confessions of mistakes and questions and doubts. There were grown men with tears in their eyes, willing to go there in front of people they didn’t know.

There was a man with cancer in his body and with his wife at his side, he spoke of the pain of the last year, the fear and embarrassment of the seizures that find him now. He spoke of the kindness of his friends, the miracle of the thing we call community. He spoke with love for his five year-old daughter and there were questions that did not require words.

Read more

Comments (48) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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Hi Guys. 

i hope this finds you well, enjoying your Saturday night or Sunday morning or wherever this finds you. i am on an airplane, flying from New York City to Portland - somewhere over the middle states at the moment - headed to Portland for the last stop of this summer's Vans Warped Tour. i'm excited to see Chris and Jason from our team, Alex and Ivory from Invisible Children, Bryce and The Rocket Summer guys. Excited to meet The Summer Set as well. Our team has spent the last eight weeks living and travelling with these folks, setting up and tearing down each day, finding shade under tents and hope in favorite songs, surprised along the way by stories and moments and conversations. We are more than grateful to Kevin, Sarah and Kate who run Warped Tour and allow TWLOHA to be part of it. This is our fourth summer and it's truly become one of our favorite things, a vehicle that allows us to connect with thousands of music-loving young people across the USA and Canada for two months each year. We are fans of music and our message of hope and help is one for people, and so we keep coming back. 

That's all i'm going to say about Warped for now. i've asked Chris and Jason to share more, to take you into their world, tell some stories and paint some pictures...

On a different note...

My friend Jon, in addition to being my friend, is one of my heroes. Jon is the sort of person who stops to talk to homeless people. He is the one who said to me that people get stuck in moments and he is also the one who told me, in a difficult season, "Hope is not a myth." Though Jon and i live in the same city, i had not seen him in months. This was my fault. We met for coffee yesterday morning and the conversation was deeply personal and meaningful for me. i shared some things that were hard to share, talked about feeling lost in my story. i don't know why but i expected my words to be met with disappointment and judgement - shame has a way of telling us we deserve those things. Instead, and this happened several times at meals with friends this week, i was met with grace and compassion and kindness, people saying i could call them in the middle of the night and people saying we should hang out again soon. 

Anyway, near the end of my conversation with Jon, he asked if i had read the book Life After God by Douglas Coupland. When i said no, Jon stood up instantly, walked out of the coffee shop and straight to a book store a few blocks away. 

i finished the book just now, started it yesterday and finished it today (i am never that guy. That said, it's worth noting that the book is short and has a lot of pictures). i'm writing all of this to tell you that it was great, that it put words to things i've been feeling recently, questions i'd been afraid to ask and things i'd been afraid to say. The book is fiction and, for me, it was a book about the human condition, which is to say it is a book about the feelings, realities, miracles and questions that we all experience as people living life on this planet, getting older over time, reflecting on our stories. The book is painful at times. The book is also beautiful. The storyteller's voice reminded me of Charlie from The Perks of Being a Wallflower, if Charlie were to tell us another story years down the road. The writing is honest and raw. i found it full of truth.

i want to share a couple quotes from Life After God:

"When you’re young, you always feel that life hasn’t yet begun — that “life” is always scheduled to begin next week, next month, next year, after the holidays — whenever. But then suddenly you’re old and the scheduled life didn’t arrive. You find yourself asking, ‘Well then, exactly what was it I was having — that interlude — the scrambly madness — all that time I had before?’

"I realized a capacity for not feeling lonely carried a very real price, which was the threat of feeling nothing at all."

"A need burns inside us to share with others what we are feeling. Beyond a certain age, sincerity ceases to feel pornographic. It is though the coolness that marked our youth is itself a retrovirus that can only leave you feeling empty."

Peace to you tonight, from this airplane headed west.
jamie

PS: i hope the book finds you like a friend. Also, i hope you find some people and i hope you let them know you. It's very important. The fear is a lie. It will be worth it in the end.

PS2: If you're at Warped Tour in Oregon tomorrow, do say hello. 

Comments (13) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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THIS FRIDAY NIGHT!! YOU'RE INVITED!!

The Buried Life (on MTV) is a show about four guys living their dreams, doing all the things they want to do before they die. Well, that's half the show. The other half is them helping other people realize their dreams.

They recently heard from a girl named Lexie. Lexie is 22 years old and she lives in Rochester, Minnesota. She is a TWLOHA supporter and her dream is to create a night that points to hope and help in her hometown. Lexie knows what it is to struggle with depression and self-injury and she wants other people who live with these issues to know they're not alone. 

Comments (24) | Posted in General, Music by jamie tworkowski

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by Denny Kolsch - TWLOHA UChapters Director

This fall will be the one-year anniversary of TWLOHA UChapters, a program designed for college students inspired to bring the mission and vision of To Write Love on Her Arms to campuses across the US and Canada (for now). It began as an idea a year and a half ago. Today, the program is 27 chapters strong, from Florida to Ontario with another 16 in the process of launching. The vision for UChapters is to provide students a way to become more active in supporting and educating people about the issues of depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. This means speaking honestly and addressing stigmas, finding help for those seeking it, being a voice of hope where there is none, and choosing community and relationship over isolation.

 

The goal for the coming year is to head further west with UChapters (although we are still welcoming the eastern parts of North America). I'm in Omaha right now for our MOVE Community Conference and the goal is to train and prepare students to become official TWLOHA UChapter leaders. It will happen again at MOVE Portland in September and then MOVE Southern California in October.

 

Over the past few months, we've had a productive time working alongside our summer interns preparing for the fall semester. Currently, three of our six interns are representing their home chapters: TWLOHA-Virginia Commonwealth University and TWLOHA-Oklahoma State University. They have done an outstanding job in maintaining and developing the UChapter program and we are so thankful for them.

 

The ultimate purpose in all of the travel, meetings, evaluations, writing emails, etc. is for TWLOHA's message of hope and help to reach more students this year.  We know there is a need on campus. And we are trying our best to meet that need. Join us.

 

With Hope,

Denny

UChapter Director

Comments (0) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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My friend Steven lives in Los Angeles. He lives with his wife Danielle and their adorable baby boy Aiden. 

They chose Los Angeles and they remain in Los Angeles because there are songs inside of Steven. They stay also because of the people around them who not only believe in those songs, they know the cost and weight and stories of the songs.

They live in a humble apartment that though close enough in miles, is far from Malibu and Mulholland. They have made it a home, made with things that can't be measured in square feet. It has been my privilege to get to know them over the last couple years, to learn their stories and to be loved by them. When i spend time with Steven and Danielle, i am certain that i am loved beyond anything that i could ever explain or earn or deserve. i am certain also that my friends are living a sacred story worthy of love songs and fight songs, a story rich with victory, defeat, sadness, forgiveness, laughter, depression, redemption, passion, pain and hope. 

"Ring the Bells" is the title track on an EP that came out today. The band is called SATELLITE and my friend Steven is the singer. The song is a love song and a fight song and it is perhaps also a prayer. It is urgent and heavy and beautiful and powerful and i hope it finds you like a friend. i believe it because i 

have seen my friend Steven talk about his wife and son without blinking. 

You can listen to "Ring the Bells" at 

www.satellite-music.com 

You can buy it on iTunes HERE. 

The lyrics are below. 

Steven will be joining me, performing solo acoustic, 

at Alma College in Michigan 

on September 23.

Peace to you tonight.

jamie

Find the words that make it right again

Comments (37) | Posted in Music by jamie tworkowski

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i went for the upside down buildings and the special effects. These things will blow your mind and win awards but they are not the reasons you should go. You should go for the humanity of the film. You should go because you will relate to the people stuck in moments, the people living with ghosts, people trying to get home. You should go to be reminded that our lives are also stories and every good story is about someone fighting a battle and there are no enemies greater than the ones called guilt and regret, pain and shame. The movie serves as a reminder that these enemies unchecked will haunt and hunt you always. Thankfully, the movie also serves as reminder that people need other people, that our stories and our battles and our dreams, these things are meant to be shared. 

i went for what i saw in the previews, fantastic things pushing and falling and exploding around the characters. i left thinking about the things that push and move in me, my ghosts and wars and dreams. The movie suggests that we are most alive and most awake when we are dreaming. And while a case could be made that it is speaking to the dreaming that occurs when we’re asleep, perhaps it’s true or even more true of the dreams we dream awake. 

Inception suggests that there is much at stake; our hearts and our children and the air in our lungs. i am 30 years old. It doesn’t feel old but some days it sounds old when i say or see it. It’s easy to buy into the idea that “dreaming” is a silly word for children, that “battle” means the military and that ghosts are not real. Inception felt like an invitation, a reminder that there might be more to the story, a world we don’t see but one connected to the days we wake to.

There is certainly much at stake. i don’t know your story or your dreams or the things that steal your sleep, but i know they matter. i hope your story is rich with other characters, rich with friends and conversation. i hope you know some people who will carry you and i hope you get to carry them. i hope that there is beauty in your memories and i hope it doesn’t haunt you. And if it does, then i hope there is someone who will talk you through the night and remind you of the promise of the sunrise, that beauty keeps coming, that there are futures worth waiting for and fighting for and that you were made to dream. 

Peace to you tonight.
jamie

Comments (21) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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COME WATCH CHARLIE ST. CLOUD WITH THE TWLOHA TEAM.

We are fans of surprising stories, worlds colliding and things happening in places they would not normally happen. With those things in mind, you are invited to spend the evening of Wednesday, July 28 with the TWLOHA team in Melbourne, Florida. We’re excited to bring you Charlie St. Cloud, the new movie starring Zac Efron, two days before it comes out. Charlie St Cloud speaks to the pain of losing someone you love, the struggle to let go and the miracle of moving forward. Posters for the movie say it well: “Life is for living.” 

Beyond the movie itself, we are excited for this event. Our aim is a unique evening that points to hope, help and community. Movie premieres tend to take place in New York and L.A. We love the idea of bringing a taste of those nights to the place we’re from. i grew up just across the bridge in Melbourne Beach and I’ve been seeing movies at this theater since i was a kid. Beyond our own roots, this is an attempt to celebrate you, to say that you are the star on this night. From 6 - 7:30, there will be photo opportunities, some music and speaking and the chance to meet our team. And just like HEAVY AND LIGHT, we will be highlighting local counseling and treatment resources. Then at 7:30, we will all watch Charlie St. Cloud together. 

Here are the details:

The event is free but space is limited. Reserve your tickets by emailing charlie@twloha.com with the name of each person in your party. An adult must accompany children under 13. Tickets can be picked up the day of the movie. If tickets are not picked up by 7PM, tickets will be given out first come first serve. You will need an ID to pick up tickets.

Premiere Theaters Oaks 10 
1800 W. Hibiscus Blvd. Melbourne, Florida 32901

On behalf of our entire team, we hope to see you soon!!

Peace to you today.
jamie

Comments (19) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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Counselors Aaron and Michelle Moore have been part of the TWLOHA story since 2006, providing training to TWLOHA staff and interns and teaching at MOVE Community Conferences. They have spoken at HEAVY AND LIGHT the last two years and Aaron often joins Jamie on the road, bringing a counselor's perspective to TWLOHA events on college campuses. 

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IN LOVING MEMORY: NATE "OTEKA" HENN (1985-2010)

It was early Sunday evening when i first heard about the bombings in Uganda. I saw something from CNN on Twitter and instantly thought of my friends at Invisible Children, because Uganda is the focus of their mission. Members of their team live there and others join them throughout the year. I sent a text to my friend Jason Russell. Jason went to Uganda in 2003, one of three friends with cameras hoping to find a story. The story they would find would make it's way to people all over the world. What began as a DVD is now a global movement and a charity working to end the world’s longest running war. 

When I sent the text, I hoped that I was only talking about a place. It was Uganda and so Jason needed to know. A place was bombed, a place my friends know as home even from across the miles. But the place was not the thing that caused the weight. It was the possibility of people. What if this bomb took people? What if it took a friend from my friends?

I woke up yesterday to the awful news that the bombings in Uganda had taken the lives of 74 people and one among them was Nate "Oteka" Henn, a member of the Invisible Children team. Nate was an American living in Uganda. He had fallen in love with the mission of IC, devoting his life to the possibility of peace, volunteering without pay for over a year. 

We have many friends at Invisible Children. We believe deeply in who they are and what they do. Our friends at IC are hurting right now. Nate's friends and family and the people of Uganda are hurting right now. We take this moment to say that they are not alone, that Nate's life mattered, that his story was important and will not be forgotten. 

We hope you'll take a moment to learn more about Nate. He lived in a way that placed others above himself. With that, his life became a gift to many. His family has established the Nate Henn Memorial Fund so that other young people can experience the life Nate lived as a Roadie for Invisible Children. TWLOHA is proud to announce a donation of $1500 to the fund.

TWLOHA exists to invite people to fight for their stories, to move beyond their pain by stepping into hope, help and community.We believe that every life matters. Every life in Uganda, every life in America, every life everywhere. When one suffers, we all suffer. Nate was in Uganda living a picture of this, trying to ease the suffering of others, injecting dignity where it had been lost, waking each day to place his hands against the wounds of a broken world, to try to stop the bleeding.  

It seems Nate knew the thing that some never learn, that we are part of a bigger story, that our lives are gifts to give. May we walk the road he showed us and may we see him on the other side.

In Loving Memory: Nate "Oteka" Henn 

Peace to you today.
jamie

Comments (7) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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Kristin Brooks Hope Center wins $100k for IMAlive.

Back in January, i sat down to write a note of thanks for your incredible support in the initial Chase Community Giving. That contest went down to the wire and your votes pushed us all the way to 3rd place, which meant $100,000 toward IMAlive, the live online crisis network we're working to launch with our partners Kristin Brooks Hope Center and PostSecret.

Now, only six months later, Chase Community Giving has happened once again and you guys were amazing once again. This time, we invited you to support Kristin Brooks Hope Center. Just like January, it came down to the final night. Thanks to your support, KBHC finished in 2nd to win another $100,000 for IMAlive.

The PostSecret community continues to demonstrate generosity and passion beyond words. Frank Warren's Sunday morning "Please Vote" request on PostSecret.com translated to thousands of votes, helping KBHC to climb from 8th all the way to the top.

While we were certainly aiming for that top spot, we want to take a moment to look at the bigger picture. First off, we want to say congratulations to the Harry Potter Alliance. Inspired by the stories of magic and wonder, Harry Potter fans are now working together to make the world a better place.

We also want to congratulate the following organizations that finished in the Top 200 and will be receiving $20,000 for their cause: Music Saves Lives, The Mentoring Project, Pablove Foundation, Surfers Healing and Strange Tree Group. There are many organizations doing important work and meeting needs in creative ways. Beyond the funding, we think it's wonderful that Chase Community Giving is bringing attention to so many significant causes.

The TWLOHA story is one of surprising open doors and you guys have always held the keys. You have taken our message and mission to places we never could have dreamed. Thank you for continuing to believe in hope and help. Thank you for your voices and your votes. Thank you for caring about people.

Peace to you today.
jamie

Comments (34) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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Hey Guys.

Wanted to invite you to check out my new blog on AltPress.com Wasn't sure what to write about but then i picked up a book called The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand last weekend - i'm early in the book but it's really been speaking to me. It put words to some things i've been feeling a while. i don't know about you but i feel like that's what a good book does. Anyway, my blog is inspired by that book. It's about following your heart and doing what you love, no matter what people say.

It's an honor to be invited to write for Alt Press. Their magazine and website mean a lot to a lot of people so this is a chance for us to share the message and mission of TWLOHA with some new folks. i hope you'll check it out. Feel free to leave a comment too, to let them know what you think.  

Peace to you today.
jamie

Comments (9) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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Hello Everyone,

If you can believe it, we are already in our second week of Warped Tour. This summer marks the sixteenth year of Warped and the crew has once again done an outstanding job bringing us a dynamic line-up of bands, vendors and non-profits.  We are so fortunate to be able to set up every day at this festival.

Emily and I are holding down the fort (tent) right now. We've also had some great volunteers, which helps so much. It is so good to see some familiar faces at the festival already. Thank you to you guys who have come up to talk and who support TWLOHA. It fuels us and helps us make it through every day of this tour.

And while we meet so many supporters who believe in our message, we also meet some who are skeptical. Last week, a younger man named Scott came asking about our organization. He walked up to the booth, read our mission statement, and asked, “I can see this (the mission statement on an info card) but I want to know what you really do to help?” After I explained to him what the organization does, he immediately opened up and shared some of his story. Once, in a moment of desperation, he was very close to attempting suicide. The only thing that kept him alive had been his wife coming home. Perfect timing. He is now seeking therapy and professional help.

At the Warped Tour stop in Ventura, all of the security guards were volunteers. And not just any volunteers, but military. A whole battalion had given up their time on a Sunday to make sure that the people at Warped were safe and having a good time. I ended up striking a conversation with one guard named Kevin. Kevin was short and had red hair. He looked young and his face was burnt from the long day. I pointed out his sunburn and we just started chatting from there. I explained the mission of TWLOHA and why we want to be at events like this, and he explained to me how he has suffered from PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder). He has been deployed to Iraq twice, and is now at home seeking help for his PTSD and spending time with his family.

Both of these young men share at least three things in common: they are both military veterans, they have seen the dark places that hurt and are hard to get out of, and both of them are seeking help to lift them out of those places. The reason I share both of these with you is because both of the stories of these young men are so hopeful. They both provide hope and show stories of redemption.

The government has a program called Military One Source for anyone who has served and is struggling that will assist and help pay for help. Both of these men have utilized these programs and found help. If you are struggling and feel like you need some assistance, I hope Kevin and Scott’s stories have given you some encouragement to seek it out.

I want to thank all of you again for coming to the tent to show support or curiosity. And thank you to Scott and Kevin for sharing some personal things. Kevin’s wife is pregnant with their first child, and he finds out soon whether it is a boy or girl.

Good luck Scott and Kevin. You made my day.

 With Hope,
Jason Blades

PS: CLICK HERE to see all upcoming Warped Tour dates. 

Comments (2) | Posted in General, Music by jamie tworkowski

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It's funny that i don't remember loving the 4th of July as a kid. Because it's become one of my favorite holidays. And this may sound bad but it's not really about America for me. Don't get me wrong - i love America, i am grateful and proud to live here, grateful for my freedom and aware of it's cost. But if i'm honest, that's not what i think about when i watch the colors explode in the night. i think about wonder and i think about hope. 

Comments (22) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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A town is a place but it is more that thing where stories tie together. Moments hilarious and terrible and amazing inspire nicknames and people gather around food and laughter. People come together to live and tell their stories and it all adds up to form something bigger, the story of a town. Virginia Beach is a surfing town and i have been there now.

Zeke died five years ago, his death a suicide, a choice and moment just like millions more, except the kind that’s all too final, the kind that leaves no room for others. First Street, this ocean, this place, is where his ashes were scattered. Men who love the land, you give them to the land, but surfers do it different. Surfers paddle out, hold hands and make a circle, ashes to the water along with flowers. And then we scream and splash and say goodbye. Perhaps we scream because it’s impossible. Zeke’s friends did this on a freezing cold January day in 2006, two hundred people in the water and as many or more standing on the sand, a scene that made the News.

i wasn’t there that day but i was there yesterday, for the 5^th Annual “Zeke’s Lil Rat Surfcus,” a unique surfing competition meant to make kids smile. Creativity is often born from suffering and this is also that, Zeke’s friends and family doing their best to create something special in his honor, beauty born from pain.

We woke up early to set up tents and prepare for the day. The kids arrived and the contest began at 8. I watched as Zeke’s mom, quiet and humble, worked to make sure everything was perfect for the kids. Every boy and every girl got an official contest t-shirt, black and white so that they could add the colors. She set up a table with fabric markers so that they could make their art. Zeke was always drawing and painting so this made perfect sense. She brought bubbles and water guns so that the kids could be kids, so that they could play and smile. This is crucial because we get older and we forget how to play. Pain and worry come to steal our smiles. Mothers, the good ones, they fight to let us keep them. Zeke is gone but his mother is still a mother.

Midway through the morning, she walked away without announcement, away from the buzz and noise and laughter of the contest. She walked alone, away from the tents, across the sand toward the rocks that form the jetty. She walked with flowers and Nicole told me they were sunflowers, because you give sunflowers to the people that you truly love. The kids near us cheered and screamed for reasons unrelated, the surfers surfed and the announcers added noise. She moved slowly across the rocks and at the end, she stopped and threw the flowers to the sea.

“She does this every year, today and on his birthday and on the day he died,” Nicole told me as we watched.

She paused for just a moment and I watched her walk back and I watched her wipe her eyes.

Two hours later, I sat down in the empty chair beside her.

“Today must be bittersweet for you,” I said, after small talk and some silence.

“Every day is bittersweet,” she replied.

We sat for some time, often without words, under a burning summer sun. I didn’t offer answers because I had no answers to offer. When we did talk, we talked about family and pain and change. We talked about her wonderful brilliant grandson and we talked about my sisters.

Zeke was my friend when we both worked at Hurley, and his Nicole has become my friend over the last year. I came to Virginia to support her and to meet the other characters, the friends with nicknames, his family, his town. I didn’t know it when I bought my ticket but I came to watch a mother remember her son, to say in her own way, that she remembers, that he was significant, that she is still his mother.

Every single kid who surfed in the contest left with information about TWLOHA and a TWLOHA t-shirt. There was no epic speech but it moved me to know that every single kid left that beach with a bag marked “Hope is real. Help is real. Your story is important.”

The hope in all of that, the reason TWLOHA exists, is to keep the flowers from the sea. Death will come for all of us but let us fight to live. Let us bury our mothers and them not us. And if it should happen the other way or if it already has, i hope you get to know the privilege of seeing them remember. i hope you get to sit with them in silence, the silence simply honest and neither of you alone because the other is there.

In Loving Memory: Zeke Sanders

Peace to you today.

jamie

Comments (18) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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A guy called Erik Carlson asked if he could film our Naperville, IL event a couple months back. He said he wanted to ask some questions for a project he had in mind. We had never heard of him at the time but we are beyond impressed by what he put together. 

Comments (9) | Posted in General, Music by jamie tworkowski

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Please remember the ones who can't forget, the soldiers forever trying to get home, trying to let go, to be okay...

To soldiers and to the friends and family of soldiers, we pause to acknowledge you today, to say that you matter. The things you've seen, the things you've lost, the battles that you fight, the dreams that steal your sleep - may we never call them small.

And we apologize today, for the ways that we forget, for the ways that we are selfish, for our lack of understanding. Perhaps the ones who've never been there, we can't begin to comprehend words like "war" and "fight" and "home." We don't know what they weigh and what they cost.

To the ones who fought for peace and freedom, we pray those things for you. We pray rest and hope and healing, and innocence again. We pray for people who will listen and the strength in you to speak. May other people know you, walk with you in the questions and recovery. May you get the help you need, the help that you deserve.

Today, we say that we see you, and not only as a soldier but also as a person. Someone not unlike us. You are significant. You are not forgotten.

Finally, humbly, thank you.

Peace to you today.
Jamie

Comments (18) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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i hope you know you're not the only one who feels the way you feel. You are not the only one who struggles. You are not the only one with questions. You are not crazy. You deserve to be heard, to be known. You deserve love. 

Comments (160) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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UNIVERSITY OF SOUTH ALABAMA

The TWLOHA Spring 2010 UChapter Tour visited the University of South Alabama on April 27, 2010. This event was one of 28 across the U.S. and Canada. The goal was to use the songs of Damion Suomi, Andy Zipf and Lauris Vidal to inspire conversations about pain, hope and community.

Comments (5) | Posted in General, Music by jamie tworkowski

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We hope that today is indeed a happy Mother's Day, that there is much to celebrate and that Moms feel loved today.

We know that it's a difficult day for some, that some have lost their Mom or the relationship is broken. Please know you're not alone today.

To every mother that's lost a son or daughter to suicide or addiction, you're in our thoughts and prayers today. You're not alone.

Peace to you today.

Comments (21) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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And now we get to answer the question...

Hey Guys,

Comments (41) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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Hey Guys.

We've seen some surprising doors open and we've been invited to borrow some amazing stages over the last four years. Jon Foreman pulled a Title shirt from the very first batch minutes before a sold-out Switchfoot show in South Florida. That was March 2006 and we were off and running. Since then, we've been invited to share a message of hope and help and community with thousands on tours with Anberlin, Bayside, The Almost, The Rocket Summer and Switchfoot - speaking not at 7 o'clock when the room is sparse and chatty but instead taking the stage in the most exciting moment, when the crowd expects the headliner. We’ve spent the last three summers all across America on Warped Tour, and we’ve had the privilege of touring Australia for the last two years of Soundwave Festival. NBC Nightly News introduced us to nine million people on a single night in 2008. Rolling Stone and MTV added to that number in 2009. And with a simple silly YouTube video, Joaquin Phoenix, Miley Cyrus and Liv Tyler put TWLOHA in front of two million folks.

And it wasn’t all bright lights and famous names. You have played just as much a part. Our message has spread in countless conversations at school and work and coffee. It’s happened in conversations with strangers and friends, sparked by questions such as “What does your shirt mean?” and “Why do you always write LOVE on your arm?”

Last night we learned about an exciting opportunity, a stage that we would certainly love to borrow. USA Today is giving away a full-page ad. Why is that exciting? Because every morning in America, nearly four million people wake up to USA Today.

What would we say to four million people?

It’s exciting to imagine.

Perhaps a simple message of encouragement, words of hope and help, meant to make four million days a little lighter. Or perhaps a letter to President Obama, telling him that we have to take better care of our soldiers – more are dying by suicide than combat and that’s a fact that screams for our attention. Or maybe it’s the chance to invite America to help fund IMAlive, a live online crisis network that we believe will save thousands of lives. It’s the first of it’s kind and long-overdue.

It would be quite an opportunity, quite the canvas to paint on, but we need your help to make it happen. We need your passion and your voice (and we need you to tweet).

Simply click here to post the following on your Twitter: 

“Let's bring hope and help to America. Please RT: #AmericaWants @TWLOHA to get a full-page ad in USA Today.”

Please invite your friends to do the same between now and Friday night (4/16) at 11:59pm EST. Learn more here.

Thanks so much your support. We’re all in this together.

Peace to you.

jamie

Comments (22) | Posted in General, Music by jamie tworkowski

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One of the great privileges of the last couple years has been spending more and more time on college campuses. Doors keep opening and invitations keep coming and we love to go, to lead a conversation that we believe in, to talk about things that don't normally get talked about - this problem of pain that perhaps we can all relate to. 

Comments (21) | Posted in General, Journal by jamie tworkowski

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Alexis Pilkington, a West Islip High School senior and star soccer player died by suicide last weekend. There is speculation that cyberbullying on Lexi's Formspring.me account might have led to her decision. There has been a lot of talk in the media and online about people boycotting Formspring in response to Lexi's death. Yesterday afternoon, i was invited to write an opinion-based article for Newsday, the newspaper of Long Island, NY. i was given a little over an hour to write the piece and a shorter, heavily-edited version of it appears in this morning's paper. 

The original version is below:

On behalf of the community of people that I represent, I want to start by saying that our hearts are heavy for the friends and family of Alexis Pilkington. Though we did not know her, we are sorry beyond words. You are not alone in this moment. You are not alone in the questions that have no answers. To only offer only words feels small, but we believe those things and also these: We didn’t know Alexis but we know that she mattered, that her story was important. And we believe those things of you as well.

What I’m writing now is not an article about Alexis. I didn’t know the miracle of her life and it’s not my place to speculate on the details of her death. I am not a journalist and this writing is not based on research.

In the articles I’ve been reading about Alexis, the word “Formspring” keeps showing up. It’s a website that I’m familiar with. Formspring is a social networking site – essentially it’s a site where people can ask and answer questions of other Formspring users, sort of like an ongoing interview. The site is growing in popularity right now, especially among young people. What I’ve read suggests that Lexi received hurtful words via her Formspring account. I don’t know who wrote the hurtful words or if she knew them, and I don’t know if or how she responded.

There is speculation that these words led to her suicide. I’ve read a quote from her father that suggests he doesn’t believe it to be that simple, that there is more to the story, that Lexi struggled with depression and also that she was getting professional help for it.

In response to Lexi’s death, people are boycotting Formspring and that is what I want to address here.

First, I want to say that I completely understand this response. We live in a world where people say terrible things, where people forget the weight of their words and the consequences of their actions. You are right to hate an action that is awful, to despise something rooted in hate. I understand wanting to place blame and the desire for justice. I am 100% for the idea of laws that treat cyberbullying as a crime.

All of that said, I don’t believe that boycotting Formspring is any sort of solution. I don’t believe it will prevent suicide. The same problems exist on Facebook and MySpace and Twitter and countless other websites. And with that, it’s worth considering that hate, as well as pain, have been around much longer than the internet. If that’s true, then perhaps the problem is not the internet at all – perhaps the problem is people.

I believe there’s a bigger picture and better solutions to consider.  If you were close to Lexi and you want to do something that brings honor to her life - if you want to learn to fight for the lives and health of the people around you - my guess is that it won’t have much to do with the strangers on the internet. My guess is that it will happen in the context of real relationships and honest conversations.

It will happen at lunch and over coffee, in conversations long-overdue that begin with “How are you?”  It will happen as we allow ourselves to be truly known and truly loved and as we pursue the kinds of friendships where those things can be reciprocated. It will happen when we’re real with the people around us, when we invite people into our questions, our struggles, our fears, our dreams. It will happen when we get the help we need and invite others to do the same.

When it comes to depression and suicide and problems of pain, the people who struggle feel alone.  I struggle with depression and I know this feeling. And yet, better ideas exist: Perhaps we were not meant to live life alone.  Perhaps we were meant to live life with other people. Beyond relationships and community, the good news is that depression is treatable and that professional help exists. The hardest step to take is the first one. We know it’s not easy but we believe that it’s worth it.

The thing I like about Formspring is that, when used as it was intended, it suggests that someone’s story matters, that there is value in their answers and ideas. And we’re invited to ask questions as well. Now, what if we turned off our computers and lived that way? What if we fought to place value on the lives of the people we love, to truly meet them in their questions and their answers, and to confess to them our own. I believe we would see something stronger and brighter than any boycott. I believe we would be reminded that love is stronger than hate and that friendship might be the greatest miracle that happens on this planet. 

Comments (49) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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This tour is an attempt to celebrate and support our UChapters in bringing the message and mission of TWLOHA to college and university campuses. Evenings of lyrics and conversation, on the road now thru April 28. 

Comments (8) | Posted in General, Music by jamie tworkowski

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A video for all who struggle. Don't give up. There is much to fight for and there are many ways to fight. Here is a beautiful display.

Comments (26) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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You're alive and you matter and this pink holiday doesn't get to name you.

Comments (9) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

Hey Guys, 

Last week was one we'll never forget. Thanks to your support, TWLOHA finished 3rd in Chase Community Giving and we are $100,000 closer to launching IMAlive, an online crisis network that will bring hope and help to thousands of people.

Over the last few years, we've been able to talk about issues that millions live with but few talk about - we've also learned that the first step to getting help is the one that most people never take. Thanks to Chase Bank and Facebook, more people are talking today and we're $100k closer to launching a network that will save lives. 

Comments (41) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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Hey Guys,

Welcome to the biggest moment in the history of TWLOHA.

For the last couple years, we've been talking and dreaming about a better way to bring hope and help to the people we hear from online. Since 2006, we've responded to more than 150,000 emails and messages from people asking for help. We've learned that the first step toward getting help is the one that most people never take. This is why, along with Kristin Brooks Hope Center (founders of 1-800-SUICIDE), we're launching IMAlive, the first live online crisis network with 100% of its staff certified & trained in crisis intervention.  Since 1998, 1-800-SUICIDE has responded to more than 3 million crisis calls, which is why we feel they are the perfect partner for this.

Chase Bank is giving away $5 million to charity and you get to decide where it goes. The organization that receives the most votes will win $1 million. With 75 hours to go, TWLOHA is in the lead. Every penny of the $1M will go toward the launch of IMAlive, which we believe will translate to hope and help for thousands of people online.

We need your help. Here's how...

1. VOTE. If you haven't already voted, please vote: http://bit.ly/7si7Be

2. Change your profile pic to match ours and then tag 50 friends. This way, the image will show up on their page. Include the voting link in the caption so that people know exactly what to do. Here's a suggested caption: "Please vote for TWLOHA to win $1 million for suicide prevention: http://bit.ly/7si7Be

3. If you have a twitter or myspace, please do the same there. Post blogs, tweets and bulletins and send emails. (That's what I've been doing all day)

4. Some of you like to write the word "love" on your arms. It sparks conversations and reminds you what's good and true. We hope you might consider writing the words "vote love" on your arm tomorrow, Thursday and Friday. Voting ends this Friday (1/22) 11:59PM EST. With your help, we might have something pretty incredible to celebrate.

5. Did we mention VOTE? http://bit.ly/7si7Be

We believe this is truly a chance to make history. It's not about winning. It's not about money. It's about bringing hope and help to thousands of people.

Peace to you. And as always, thank you for your support.

jamie and Team TWLOHA

PS: We also want to mention and remember the people of Haiti. Our hearts are heavy and our thoughts and prayers are for and with them. Please do what you can to help.

Comments (18) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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Hey guys,

As you know we are very excited about our opportunity to win $1 million in the Chase Community Giving contest to aid the start-up of IMAlive, the first ever live online crisis network. We’ve invited our partner at Kristin Brooks Hope Center (1-800-SUICIDE) to share a bit of the ideas behind IMAlive and why we see this as such a valuable new program.

Thanks for caring. Don’t forget that you have until January 22nd to vote, so log onto Facebook and help us today!

With Hope,
Team TWLOHA

Read more

Comments (20) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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Hey Guys,

The PostSecret project is one that means a lot to a lot of people, and it's a project that we believe in. Beyond sharing creative and compelling content, PostSecret founder Frank Warren has also been a huge supporter of Kristin Brooks Hope Center, the founders of 1-800-SUICIDE and TWLOHA's partner in the launch of IMAlive. We are grateful for the support of Frank and the PostSecret community.

Essentially, PostSecret is a platform - for people to share their secrets and for many more to realize that they are not alone. The PostSecret blog is something we at TWLOHA love to follow, because we've learned that many people live alone with their secrets, and that these things too often become sources of pain and shame. In addition to the PostSecret blog and PostSecret books, you can also experience PostSecret in person, at events across the U.S. over the next few weeks and months.

Peace to you.
jamie

APAP, New York, NY (SOLD OUT) - 01-10-10
Facebook Event Page.

Seattle University, Seattle, WA - 01-14-10
Facebook Event Page.

Dalhousie University, Halifax, NS - 01-20-10
Facebook Event Page.

Eastern Kentucky University, Richmond, KY - 01-21-10
Facebook Event Page.

The Ohio State University, Columbus, OH - 01-27-10
Facebook Event Page.

McKendree University, Lebanon, IL - 02-02-10
Facebook Event Page.

Knox College, Galesburg, IL - 02-03-10
Facebook Event Page.

Canisius College, Buffalo, NY - 02-04-10
contact school for details

Auburn University, Auburn, AL - 02-08-10
Facebook Event Page.

University of Massachusetts, Amherst, MA - 02-10-10
Facebook Event Page.

Pinkerton Academy, Derry, NH - 02-12-10
Facebook Event Page.

Bucknell University, Lewisburg, PA - 02-16-10
Facebook Event Page.

Slippery Rock Universiy, Slippery Rock, PA - 02-18-10
Facebook Event Page.

University of South Florida – Tampa, Tampa, FL - 02-23-10
Facebook Event Page.

University of New Hampshire - Durham, Durham, NH - 02-24-10
Facebook Event Page.

Millikin University, Decatur, IL - 02-26-10
Facebook Event Page.

East Tennessee State University, Johnson City, TN - 03-04-10
Facebook Event Page.

Maryville University, St. Louis, MO - 03-22-10
Facebook Event Page.

Illinois State University, Normal, IL - 04-07-10
Facebook Event Page.

University of North Texas, Denton, TX - 04-08-10
Facebook Event Page.

University of Utah, Salt Lake City, UT - 04-14-10
Facebook Event Page.

Central Washington University, Ellensburg, WA - 04-16-10
Facebook Event Page.

Pittsburg State University, Pittsburg, KS - 04-22-10
Facebook Event Page.

SUNY Oswego, Oswego, NY - 04-29-10
Facebook Event Page.

Comments (11) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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Once again, HEAVY AND LIGHT was something special. People came from across the U.S. and as far away as Canada for this evening of songs, conversation and hope at House of Blues Orlando. The night began with spoken word poet Anis Mojgani (he basically stole the show) and it ended with all of the musicians coming back to the stage to do two songs together. Here's the first of those - meant to make you smile. Feel free to sing along...

Comments (6) | Posted in Music by jamie tworkowski

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Hey Guys,

Thanks to everyone who voted for TWLOHA in Round 1 of Chase Community Giving. Thanks to your support, we won a $25,000 grant from Chase and we now have a chance to win $1 million for suicide prevention in Round 2. The top 100 "Big Ideas" have been announced and ours involves the launch of IMAlive, a live online crisis network. We're partnering with KBHC to get this service launched and we need your help. Voting opens this Friday, January 15th and closes on the 22nd (next Friday). You can learn more about the need, the plan and why we believe that IMAlive will help thousands of people by clicking here. There's also a video in which James Earl Jones lends his familiar powerful voice... 

Thanks for your amazing support.

Peace to you.
jamie

Comments (6) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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HEAVY AND LIGHT 2009

Comments (20) | Posted in General, Journal, Merch, Music by jamie tworkowski

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Hey Guys.

My heart is light tonight. And it feels almost strange to type that. Because i remember so much wrestling and the weight of so many different Decembers. i don't know if it's the holidays or the year's coming to a close but this time of year has a way of reminding us what's missing, reminding us what hurts... i feel like i've been there a lot in recent years.

If you can relate to any of that tonight - to things missing or things changed or lost or broken - we just want to take a moment to say that it matters. Your story and your pain, your hopes and fears and dreams. It matters. You matter. Tonight and tomorrow and ten years from now. We're sorry for your hurts, for empty seats and elephants in rooms and dreams that feel impossible.

John Mayer said it well in a tweet earlier tonight: "Sending a heartfelt Merry Christmas to those who feel loneliness this time of year. You're not alone. Hang in there."

We'll add to that: Keep going. Keep fighting. Talk to someone. Get the help you need. Your life is worth fighting for. Your dreams, your story, the things that make you come alive - those things deserve to shine. You deserve a friend. You deserve to be loved, to be known. Whatever you're carrying - whatever aches or haunts or steals - you were never meant to carry it alone. Bono sings "We get to carry each other." He suggests that it's a privilege, that it's the best way to live. You were meant to walk with other people, to invite other characters to play parts in your story.

Wherever you're at tonight, however heavy or light the night is, whatever scene it finds you living - please know that you matter very much. Please know that you are something priceless, something beautiful and entirely unique. There is hope for you. There is hope for all of us. 2010 has never happened before and the same is true about tomorrow.

A prayer for you, or perhaps a wish if you prefer it said that way: We hope these things feel true. We hope you know you matter. We hope you find your smile. You deserve it -you absolutely do.

Merry Christmas / Happy Holidays / Happy 2010.

Peace to you tonight.

jamie

Comments (58) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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We're excited to give you yet another reason to come to FL next month:

Comments (8) | Posted in General, Music by jamie tworkowski

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Hey Guys,

Shortly after we annouced the NYC Photo Shoot (for Rolling Stone) a few weeks back, we got an email from a guy named John Canfield. John is a Film student at NYU and was writing to ask if he could film the event for a project for one of his classes.

Well, after several hours of filming and roughly 150 hours of editing, we're excited for you to see John's film. His professor and classmates loved it and we hope you will too. John shot most of the NYC footage and Dustin Miller was generous in providing additional footage (Fall '08 tour, Heavy and Light '09, etc.) In the end, it's a great summary of TWLOHA as well as another look at a special day in Washington Square Park - strangers coming together for something that was very much "more than a photo shoot". John's film captures the heart of the matter and we're grateful that he would share his time and talent with us.

John would like to dedicate this film to his friend Marc Alden Strizzi (6/20/90 - 12/13/07)

Peace to you.
jamie

Part 1:


Part 2:

Comments (21) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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If you find yourself on page 63 of the new Rolling Stone Magazine (Taylor Lautner of Twilight is on the cover), you will find the first of five pages dedicated to TWLOHA. It's an honor and exciting to say the least. That said, i must confess that i found the title a little awkward. (i am a surfer, i'm not a savior.) The story is not perfect but hopefully it's good.

When they said they wanted to photograph me in New York City, i asked if it might be okay to invite some friends. TWLOHA supporters came to Washington Square Park in NYC from as far away as Toronto, Virginia and Delaware. My hope was a photo that expressed the community and "we" spirit of TWLOHA. They went with something different but the video below captures the true spirit of the day - stories colliding and hope shared, people coming together... Thank you once again to our talented friend Dustin Miller for making this video and thank you to Rolling Stone for liking it enough to post it on their website.

Peace to you tonight.

jamie

PS: We've been working hard this week, adding to twloha.com.  We've added FINANCES and STAFF sections, and updated NEWS and MOVE.

PS2: We would love to know your thoughts.

Comments (28) | Posted in General, Journal by jamie tworkowski

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I guess some would say that I have been through a tragedy.  I say that I've been through a life-changing experience and that it has made me a better person.  I don’t like that T word - it's pretty harsh.  When Zeke died, I thought my life had ended.  In some ways it had.  I went through a whirlwind of emotions, some that I can’t even remember.  I had so many questions;  What did I do wrong?  What was he thinking?  why did he leave me?  Someone once told me that people that complete suicide are selfish - I’m not sure I agree.  Once someone is gone, it is easy to contemplate what they were thinking, and only think about the mess they left you with, and the struggles ahead.  But isn’t that selfish?  I mean this person just took their own life - I can’t imagine how they came to that conclusion, but I can only believe and hope it was not an easy one.  I quickly learned that I was the selfish one......I was so obsessed with why he chose to do this to me, but soon realized that he did this to himself; it was not about me.  That is hard to accept.  

When I talked to friends or family, they always told me “I know how you feel.”  Those words used to make me so angry. How did they know? They weren’t in my head, they didn’t find him in this horrible state, they didn’t lose the love of their life. They were able to go home at night. I had to go anywhere but home.  I began to get so bummed about that answer to my thoughts, I realized I needed help understanding the emotions I was going through.  I started seeing a therapist that helped me learn that everything I was experiencing was “normal.”  She told me that only I would know how to push through the sadness and learn how to grow.  Sometimes when I went to see her we never even talked about Zeke.  We would talk about the most random things - shopping, wine, going to the gym, work and sometimes the news.  At one of our meetings she said “I’m not going to let you avoid the subject, we need to talk about him.”  It was the first time that I broke down crying in front of anyone.  I’m not one that usually feels comfortable crying.  I don’t like people to see me that way.  I was surprised by my reaction, but I felt so much better.  I guess that sometimes when you keep things bottled up, those feelings can come out even stronger than ever.  I’m glad that it happened with her; she helped me open up and finally speak about what was going on in my head.

It is coming up on the anniversary of Zeke’s death, and I’m not sure what I will do.  I used to hang with friends and take way too many shots of tequila.  Probably over the past month, I have realized that I am drinking way too much.  I think I drink to hide my pain; I still miss him.  Wow, that is the first time I have admitted that.  At first I used to sleep with one of his dirty tee shirts so that I could have his scent with me; it helped me a bunch.  Then the smell went away.  After that I would drink to sleep.  The only way I could fall asleep was if I just passed out drunk.  It really wasn’t until lately that I thought I had a purpose without him.  It has taken me awhile to realize that.  Zeke inspired me to be creative.  We used to bounce off of each other's artistic abilities.  It was so funny when we would be getting ready to go out for an evening and we would be “that couple,” the ones that were dressed alike.  I used to tell him he had to back and change.  I used to paint, write, build, and design.  After his death, I had a hard time even picking up a paint brush, I didn’t know how to hold it in my hand.  Now I am slowly learning to keep his spirit in my heart, and create again.  I started writing down plans, sketching furniture, and painting pictures.  I used to be so on-the-go and not have time for anything, but now I am slowing down and doing things that are more fulfilling in my life.  So, I think that this January 5th, I am going to finish my projects I have started.  I am building a window seat box out of what used to be our bed, Zeke had built us a platform bed.  I will have it filled with his stuff and have a special place for me to sit and think about him, and be inspired.  I think I finally have been able to re-focus my energy into how to be happy, how to be me, without him.  I probably will stick to one of my rituals, visiting him at 1st street; bringing him a sunflower, and telling him I love him.   Then I will go back home and pick up my paint brush......I think I know how again.

- Nicole Orsargos

Comments (65) | Posted in General, Journal by jamie tworkowski

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i was in Virginia Thursday to speak at Old Dominion University in Norfolk. i got in early and had the chance to spend a few hours with my friend Nicole. Well, she feels like a friend now but the truth is i'd never met her before Thursday. Some of you have heard me talk or write about my friend Zeke, who died by suicide in January 2006. Zeke and i worked together at Hurley. Well, Zeke lived in Virginia Beach and Nicole was his girlfriend of more than three years when he died. She was the one who found him.

i'd traded emails with Nicole in recent weeks but never met her in person. We met for lunch on Thursday. i told her i wanted to eat where the locals eat and so she suggested a place by the Inlet. i pulled up a few minutes before her and the first thing i noticed was the word "Zeke" spray-painted on a wall near the restaurant's entrance. Zeke died over three and a half years ago and yet it was clear in that first moment that he has not been forgotten. 

As we ate, i asked Nicole a lot of questions about Zeke. He was good at everything. We smiled at the stories. She spoke of his quiet pain, unknown to most. i asked about the days since he died, how has she recovered, how has she survived... She spoke with strength and grace.  She said she's different now, doesn't buy "busy" as a way of life, says she's learned to slow down, to pause for the things that matter, for people and moments and conversations. She talked about her incredible friends and about going to counseling.

After lunch, i asked if she might show me around town - show me the places that were Zeke's, help me know his story. She said she would be happy to. We stood on the boardwalk at First Street, watching the cold waves break - Zeke was a great surfer and this was his. She pointed to the plaque on the end of the jetty, placed in the silence of the night, Zeke's friends saying his memory would stay with them always. 

She explained Virginia Beach, the surf shops and the bars and the characters that make it. She showed me the house that they shared. "We built a home together," she told me. 

That night, Nicole joined me on stage at Old Dominion, and for the first time ever, she spoke her story into a microphone. It was incredibly brave. Afterwards, people lined up to meet her, to thank her, to share what they found in her words. 

As we stood in the parking lot at the end of the night, she told me she was blown away, by the confessions that she heard, so many young people sharing their stories. i thanked her, said her words had been a gift for all of us in the room, encouraged her to keep sharing them.  She said she would like that.

i wish i could bring him back, this man she loved, this friend to so many... But the weight of suicide is it's permanence. Each of us, we are thousands of moments and choices and days. Zeke walked away from all of it that night in January.

We are left with the questions, with the weight of all the memories. The only sense that i can make of it is that Nicole now has a story to tell, that her words will serve as a gift to other people, her scars suggesting that they are not alone in their wounds, not alone in their questions and their remembering...  

Today is National Survivors of Suicide Day. If you've lost someone that you love, then we stand with you today. We say it matters, their story and yours, and we join you to remember. Please know that you are not alone.

To learn more about National Survivors of Suicide Day, please CLICK HERE.

Peace to you today.

jamie

PS: i wrote this a couple days after Zeke died, in January 2006...

Zeke Sanders: You Were Loved.

"I didn't know him well but this is what i knew: Zeke Sanders was hilarious and kind, small and huge in the same moment. He was humility and rock star, fashion and fishing, alive and encouraging and broken and hopeful and a thousand other things i'll never know. He was simple and complex. He was my friend. Something hopeful in me says he knows now how much he was loved. We will miss his smile, his laughter, his kindness, his tiny jeans and enormous shoes, made for wrestling. We will miss him tomorrow night when we set up, Sunday when we tear down, and Monday morning at Ian's, when it's too quiet. i don't know what else to say. i just have to believe that we are all more loved than we'll ever know. And we're all in this together."

Comments (36) | Posted in General, Journal by jamie tworkowski

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The mtvU Woodie Awards are tonight in NYC, a couple hours from now. Some of my favorite bands are nominated - Death Cab for Cutie, Kings of Leon, Phoenix... Ben Gibbard, Zoey Deschanel, Jack White and Pete Wentz will be in the room... 

Comments (21) | Posted in General, Journal, Music by jamie tworkowski

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Hey Guys.

Each week, Lindsay from our team sends an email to the entire TWLOHA team. When we open this email, it's a time to reflect on some of the messages and emails that have come in over the last few days. Some of the messages are heavy and hard to read. Others are full of hope and encouragement. Life is both and everything in between. 

Lindsay sends these messages to remind us of our mission, the heart of the matter. Each week, as we read the messages she includes, we're reminded where this started and we're reminded why we do what we do.

Today,  "TWLOHA Day", is one that our team didn't come up with. We don't know a lot about it, to be honest - not sure where it came from or how it spread to so many people. But perhaps that's been true for much of our story - we've seen the best of passion and communication. We've seen people share and build something beautiful together. 

With today in mind, i want to share one of the messages that Lindsay sent to us yesterday:

"My name is Taylor and I am 22 years old. I have been an addict for the past six years of my life and have been looking at getting into rehab for awhile now. I should be checking in sometime this week I am just waiting for my federal aid to come in. I wanted to thank you guys for doing what you do and being there. I haven't personally ever talked to anyone with your organization but my sister heard about it somehow. My sister is 18 years old and has never used a day in her life. Ever since I started using I haven't been there for her and we kind of live two completely seperate lives. We haven't gotten along. Today my sister picked me up from my house and said she had a surprise for me. We went and got love tattooed on our arms. She  has never had a tattoo so this was a big step for her. She started crying, I haven't seen real emotion from my sister in a long long time. She told me what you guys were about and expressed what she has felt about my use and the way I have made her feel. I made a promise to her to stay clean, something I have never said to anyone. Every time I look down at my arm it will remind me of what a commitment my sister has made to me and to helping me stay clean. I just wanted to thank you guys for helping her understand and helping her accept me and not frown upon me. Your organization has really made an impact on both of our lives and I really wanted to express my gratitude." 

Thank you so much for what you guys do everyday and what your organization will continue to do for so many people, you guys really do save lifes. 

Thank you so much. 

All the love and respect in the world."

If you decide to write the word "love" on your arm today, please remember the heart of the matter. The goals were never "cute" or "fashion". Our title, "to write love on her arms", was born as a goal and it remains a goal. We're inviting people to fight for their lives and for the lives of their friends. We're inviting people to believe better things. 

If you want to help us spread the word about hope and help, we would be honored. If you want to tell people that they need other people, that every story matters - again, we would be honored. We say these things because we believe them to be true, and because too many people live alone under other lies.  

Let's continue to fight to figure out what this word "love" means. Let's aim for how it looks and how it sounds - maybe something like humility and confidence and kindness, maybe honesty and compassion... 

We're in all these things together. It's bigger than cute and louder than fashion. 

Thanks always for your support.

You matter very much.

jamie and the entire TWLOHA team

PS: Switchfoot is performing on Jimmy Kimmel tonight.

PS2: If you're anywhere near NYC, then we would love to see you at 1:30pm tomorrow (Friday) at Washington Square Park in Manhattan, for a very special photo shoot. Feel free to email nyc@twloha.com if you have any questions.

Comments (126) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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We believe in stories. TWLOHA is perhaps a lot of things but among those, it's the story of a story that grew to be something more. Along the way, we've been given the opportunity to talk about things that millions struggle with but few talk about. It's a story of secrets shared and conversations over coffee and why songs matter. We've seen surprising doors open and most importantly, we've seen people find hope and help.

Another surprising door has opened... We can't reveal all the details but we would like to invite you into it:

A well-known photographer is taking some pictures next Saturday in New York City. The pictures are for a story that a magazine is doing on TWLOHA. The magazine is a pretty special magazine and it's safe to say that the story is a big one.

They want to take a picture of me and i asked if i could invite you and they said okay. It's going to happen in Manhattan. We don't know exactly where or what time just yet but we will know those details soon. There's a form you need to fill out if you want to participate in the shoot. If you send an email to nyc@twloha.com, we'll send you the form and we'll send you the info (when/where) as well. 

Here's the fine print: You don't get paid and your name won't appear in the magazine. But there's a chance you will get to be part of a group photograph that will appear in the magazine.

Also, we will hang out and we will drink hot chocolate.

Hope to see you Saturday in NYC. More info soon. Again, nyc@twloha.com is the address to write to if you're interested in being part of the photo shoot.

Peace to you.

jamie

PS / Update: The shoot will take place this Saturday at 12 NOON in Washington Square Park. 

Comments (15) | Posted in General, Journal by jamie tworkowski

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Today, while reading the liner notes for The Avett Brothers new album, i came across a mission statement.  Non-profits are supposed to have mission statements but i'd never seen one from a band.  The words are meant to explain some other words, the album's brave title, "I and Love and You". i found it all brilliant and wanted to share it with you.

Peace to you.

jamie

"The words "I" and "Love" and "You" are the watermark of humanity. Strung together, they convey our deepest sense of humility, of power, of truth. It is our most common sentiment, even as the feeling of it is so infinitely uncommon: each to proclaim these three words with his or her very own heart and mindset of reason (or lack thereof); a proclamation completely and perfectly new each time it is offered. Uttered daily and nightly by millions, the words are said in an unending array of circumstances : whispered to a newborn in a mothers arms; shared between best friends on the playground; in the form of sympathy - said by a girl to a boy, as the respect continues but the relationship does not. It is said too loudly by parents to embarassed children in the company of their friends, and by grown children - to their fading parents in hospital beds. The words are thought in the company of the photograph and said in the company of the gravestone. It is how we end our phone calls and our letters... the words at the bottom of the page that trump all those above it, a way to gracefully finish a message, however important or trivial, with the most meaningful gifl of all : the communication of love. And yet the words themselves have been the victims of triviality, a ready replacement for lesser salutations among near strangers, burst forth casually as "love ya." Truly? To what degree? Why, how much, and for how long? These are questions befitting of the stature of love, though not the everyday banter of vague acquaintance. The words have also been twisted by the dark nature of deceit : To say "I love you" with a dramatic measure of synthetic emotion; a snare set by those who prey uponn fellow humanity, driven to whatever selfish end, to gain access to another's body, or their money, or their opportunity. In this realm, the proclamation is disgraced by one seeking to gain rather than to give. In any case, and by whatever inspiration, these words are woven deeply in to the fibers of our existence. Our longing to hear them from the right place is maddeningly and simultaneously our finest strength and our most gentle weakness.The album "I and Love and You" is inashamedly defined by such a dynamic of duality. As living people, we are bound by this unavoidable parallel. We are powerful yet weak, capable yet temporary. Inevitably, an attempt to place honesty within an artistic avenue will follow suit. This is a piece which shows us as we are : products of love surrounded by struggle. The music herein is, in many ways, readable as both a milestone and an arrival. A chapter in the story of young men, it bridges the space between the uncertainty of youth and the reality of it's release. The record is full with the quality of the question and response. As far as questions go, there are plenty-normally residing within the tone and delivery of the lyrics themselves, which, ironically, are sung with so much confidence. Among songs and thoughts so driven and purposeful, the most basic relatable doubt comes through with a resounding clarity. Outside of the eternal theme of romantic love, the album speaks thankfully upon a landscape of light-filled rooms, word-filled pages, time machines, forgiveness, singing birds, ocean waves, art, change, confessions of shortcomings, and reasons to continue on. Hope and a cause for smiling follow naturally. In the midst of all this, there are allusions to the less-than-ideal conditions of life : the loss of memory, the inability to control temper, insecurity, indecision, jaded indifference, and the general plague of former and current weakness. "I and Love and You" is an album of obvious human creation, chracterized by it's best and it's worst. Emotional imperfection is a reality for those who recorded the piece, just as it is for those who will hear it. The conclusion of the song from which the title is taken admits that the words "I love you" have become "hard to say". And perhaps that difficulty is as common as it's counterpart. Perhaps the inability to say these heaviest of words is as much a part of life as the lighthearted candor of those who say them without any difficulty at all. And so it ends with the phrase whispered to and by those of us most defeated and most elated... I and love and you."

 - The Avett Brothers

 PS: You can hear "I and Love and You" (the song) along with new songs from Paramore, Switchfoot, Paper Route, Athlete, Ryan Adams and Noah Gundersen on our MySpace playlist. We just added these today...

Comments (19) | Posted in General, Music by jamie tworkowski

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Hey Guys.

A few months back, i got the chance to spend a couple hours with Mike Shea in New York City. Mike is the founder of Alternative Press Magazine and we had a good time getting to know each other over lunch in Union Square and a long city stroll. Mike and i swapped stories about AP and TWLOHA and music and mutual friends and all sorts of stuff. Somewhere in there, we talked about ways to work together and he asked if i had any ideas. i told him that i would love to write... He asked what i'd want to write about and i told him i wasn't sure but that i'd love to be honest and that i'd do my best to challenge people and encourage people. i told him that basically, TWLOHA is an attempt to get to the heart of things, to remind people that they're alive and that life is worth living and perhaps that there are things that need to be said and things we're supposed to fight for.

Well... My first article for AltPress went up today and i'd love for you to check it out. (i must warn you that it's a little bit spicy...) Our hope is that if the response to the online article is good, then they may invite me to write for the (print) magazine.  If you dig the article, feel free to comment, let AP know, etc.  Thanks for walking with me as the journey continues.

Click here to check out the article on AltPress.com

Peace to you from NYC, where Fall is starting to happen.
: )
jamie

Comments (7) | Posted in General, Music by jamie tworkowski

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The world changed on September 11, 2001 and with that, we are the 9/11 generation. We will tell our kids and our grandkids where we were and what we saw and what we felt. For most of us, it was something that we watched on television but for others, it was the day they lost more than peace and comfort. The reality is that a lot of people lost fathers and sisters and sons. We can build back the buildings but we can't replace the lives that were lost on 9/11. 

Our thoughts and prayers go out to those who lost loved ones eight years ago today. We're sorry beyond words for the people that you lost.

Today, we join you in remembering.

Peace to you.

jamie

Comments (40) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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What comes to mind when you hear the words "Suicide Prevention"?

Is it really possible to prevent suicide?

We know it isn't simple. We know it isn't easy. But we do believe in hope and we do believe in help, and we believe that people need other people. And if those ideas are real and true, then we believe that it is possible to prevent suicide.

And we don't think it's a work only for the experts. We believe there's a part for all of us to play, that perhaps suicide prevention begins in countless simple miracles every single day. Perhaps it starts with two friends sitting down for coffee... And one of them asks "How are you doing". Perhaps it starts when we choose to live less alone, when we choose to let people in - to know us, to love us, to walk alongside us. Call it "community" or call it the way things are supposed to be. We're willing to say that suicide prevention starts there - it starts when we're willing to talk, willing to ask the hard question, willing to say the honest thing. Maybe the bravest move we'll ever make it to ask for help. Or ask how we can help someone we love.

Maybe it starts when we push back at the stereotype and the lies that fuel the stigma that says pain is something we're not allowed to talk about, or that pain is for people a certain age who dress a certain way and like a certain song. Those are lies. The truth is that pain is part of being human. The questions will continue to come. We all get stuck in moments. The good news is that there is also hope and love and change. The good news is that we were meant for friends. The good news is counseling and treatment. The good news is that we don't have to go alone.

 "Suicide Prevention."

 What's your part to play? We're all invited. Smile at someone, know someone, say something, ask the question, make the call, take the drive.  Every life is priceless and fragile. We get to guard and fight and care, for the people around us.  There are plenty of things to fight about and for over the course of our lives - let's remember that people are the most important thing, the brightest surprises on the planet. Let's remember that every single person has a story entirely unique and incredibly important, but not everyone can see it. And what a privilege that we get to do our best to remind and invite people, to believe better things, to believe that it's possible to change, to believe that life is worth living...

We're not saying that it's easy. But we're saying that it's worth it.

Love is the movement. Thank you for caring.
jamie

Click here for more info on World Suicide Prevention Day.

For more info and statistics on suicide from the World Health Organization, click here

Comments (57) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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You are going to move through this.

- Anonymous 

Comments (238) | Posted in General, Journal by jamie tworkowski

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Hey Guys.

Our friend Stuart was here last week, visiting from Glasgow, Scotland. He spent a few days with our team, helping us daydream about the future of TWLOHA in the United Kingdom. Stuart will be working with our friend Olivia to make some things happen there very soon. Keep an eye on www.twloha.com for details.

On that note, we're excited to announce that TWLOHA will have a booth at Greenbelt Festival, where our friends in Athlete are among the headliners. Greenbelt is happening this weekend in England. There will be TWLOHA info and merch available, and we hope you'll say hello to Olivia from our team. Also, if you're interested in getting involved, Olivia would be a great person to connect with.

Comments (13) | Posted in General, Merch, Music by jamie tworkowski

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Hello everyone, 

My name is Denny and I am the TWLOHA UChapter Coordinator. I have been a TWLOHA staff member for 1 1/2 years. Last fall, the idea was created to develop TWLOHA student-lead organizations on university campuses, beginning in the United States. This fall, the idea is being realized when 14 colleges will be representing TWLOHA as the first ever TWLOHA UChapters.  

All of this is very exciting for our team. We believe TWLOHA UChapters is part of the future in causing real, tangible change in community settings at a local and global level. Not one movement has occurred in the U.S. without college students being at the forefront, protesting change and interacting with culture in a new way, forcing even the government to listen. If stigmas, which represent a form of contemporary slavery, are going to be overthrown and replaced by a new regime of honesty and openness on university campuses (and beyond), there must be a voice from within the university body. The voice must be provocative and creative, growing from within the lives of students who care. 

To be honest, we don't know where this will go and we don't know exactly what change to expect or how this change will look. We do know there are students who have gifts and desires that MUST be used as leverage against a society that struggles to find places of honesty and understanding. So in many ways, UChapters is TWLOHA's response to the response of students. Essentially, UChapters are groups on college campuses who embody the values which underlie TWLOHA's vision and mission. They will reflect TWLOHA, therein imaging the heart of TWLOHA. Each UChapter will serve on their college campus and within their local community. Through building community, we believe UChapters can organize gatherings, cultivate awareness, and create a network that actively raises funds and reaches people with a message of hope and help.

Personally, I have tasted this hope and help that can only be found in community. I know what it feels like to move from death to life and then to use the brokenness as a source of redemption for others. Universities are filled with brokenness and stories of hope that must be reconciled. It is estimated that more than 1,000 U.S. college students die by suicide each year. Death by suicide is the second leading cause of death among college students. 1 in 12 have created a suicide plan. 90% had a psychiatric disorder at the  time of death; 60% of those having severe depression. 10% of college students have been diagnosed with depression disorder, the majority of which never receive treatment. Yet in the face of these despairing figures, since 1994, suicide rates among 15-24 year olds has decreased 28.5%. We believe TWLOHA UChapters will be a means to even more change. 

With 15 UChapters already launching this fall, we hope to launch another 15 for the spring. If you are a college student, or are about to be one, and desire to either connect with an established UChapter on your campus or help start one, you can email chapters@twloha.com and we will send you further information. Below is the list of active UChapters for this fall:    

1. Columbia College, Chicago 
2. University of South Alabama
3.  Bloomsburg University, Pennsylvania 
4.  University of Northern Iowa
5.  Ithaca College, New York
6.  South East Missouri State University 
7.  Texas Tech University 
8.  Oklahoma State University 
9.   University of Texas-Austin
10. Manchester College, Indiana 
11. UMASS-Lowell, Massachusetts
12. University of Florida 
13. Miami University, Ohio
14.  Virginia Commonwealth University

With Hope, 

Comments (24) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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Professional surfer C.J. Hobgood (currently ranked #2 in the world, his twin brother Damien is #5) grew up with TWLOHA founder Jamie Tworkowski in Brevard County, FL. In this video, C.J. talks about his own struggles and what he's found in beginning to invite other people into his story. He talks about his connection to TWLOHA and why he believes in the mission of the organization.

Comments (5) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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Here's a great video of our friend Damion Suomi talking about his music and where he's been and where he's going.

Comments (1) | Posted in General, Music by jamie tworkowski

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Comments (22) | Posted in General, Journal by jamie tworkowski

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We're excited to announce our collaboration with Forever The Sickest Kids. It is available now in the TWLOHA Online Store and will be coming this week to Warped Tour.

Comments (28) | Posted in Merch, Music by jamie tworkowski

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We have a new friend called Craig Owens. He sings in a band called Chiodos. We have a new tank top called Filled. They've been hanging out lately. We tried to think of a better name for Filled but we just couldn't do it. We should have asked you because you probably have a better idea...

Anyway, the purpose of this blog is to let you know that our new Filled tank is available on Warped and it's also available in the TWLOHA Online Store. It's hot in half the world right now so Filled has been making lots of friends. Craig has been stopping by our tent lately and he seems to have a lot of friends as well. 

We hope you have a great day. We hope to see you soon.
jamie

PS: We also have new stickers. Big ones, small ones, ones for cars... You'll find those in the Promote section of the Online Store.

Comments (4) | Posted in Merch, Music by jamie tworkowski

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Hey Guys.

i am sitting at the coffee shop where i come when i'm home, the one that's not Starbucks, the one that plays good music and makes the town feel almost like a city... i have a theory that people go to coffee shops - well, i'm sure we go for coffee - but i think we go to feel less alone. i could write this in my room but i choose to drive across town to sit among the people. i might not talk to anyone but somehow it's better to be here...

It's been a busy week, a busy few weeks really. We've got lots going on, getting ready for the summer. Lots of design happening, lots of ideas and getting ready for Warped Tour...

i'm actually just writing to share some cool news and also to invite you. In the Spring of 2007, we were part of Anberlin's Cities tour. We were on the road for close to two months, all across America. On that tour, we got to know the guys from Bayside. Bayside is a rock and roll band from New York City. Growing up, i thought they were from my tiny town in Florida because they played here so much.

After the Anberlin tour, Bayside invited us to be part of their U.S. tour and then after that they invited us to spend the summer with them on Warped Tour. It's safe to say we spent most of '07 with them and it's no small thing for a band to share their stage or bunks on their bus. That's where they make their living and that's home.

Bayside's singer is Anthony Raneri and Anthony played our first "Heavy and Light" night at the Social in 2008. He came back to play it again this past January at House of Blues Orlando. And then we spent a couple weeks together in Australia, for Soundwave... All of that to say, Bayside has been incredibly generous and supportive, and Bayside has become part of the TWLOHA story. Anthony has become a friend and we take none of it lightly.

This brings us to now. Anthony is hitting the road for a short solo tour w/ Andy Jackson (Hot Rod Circuit) and he's invited me to speak at his solo shows in Gainesville and Orlando (Florida) next weekend. i'm honored and excited, and if i'm honest, a little bit nervous. Saturday night (6/20) we'll be at 1982 Bar in Gainesville and Sunday we'll be at Back Booth in downtown Orlando. Back Booth is special because i went there with Renee when i first met her, to see Band Marino. We took a photo in the photo booth that night and that photo made ended up on NBC Nightly News a few months back.

So Anthony is part of our story and Back Booth is part of our story and then it turns out that Sunday is Father's Day. As a lot of you know and remember, Father's Day is a day that matters to us... It's a day we've thought and talked a lot about. And then on top of all of that, there's this other thing. There's this other story that's bumping into ours and it's a big one. This other thing is a surprise and it's a weird one because it's connected to Sunday but we can't explain it until after Sunday... (You just sort of have to trust me that it's big and it's cool and eventually this will all make sense.)

Anyway, this is me inviting you to these two shows. On a certain level, they're small and on some other levels, they're huge and i suppose that's the case with almost every story. Anythony has a stage and he believes we have something important to say and so he lends us his stage and we go because there's going to be people in the room and people are the most important thing on the planet. (And then there's this other thing, this surprise, perhaps another stage...)

It would be really cool if you could help us spread the word and it would be the best if you could come. Beyond the speaking, some folks from our team will be hanging out and we would love to meet you...




TWLOHA.COM FOR INFO

Thank you and please have a great night.
We hope to see you soon.
: )
jamie

PS: Here's a really cool photo of Anthony's band Bayside at Bamboozle last month. Thank You to Jered Scott for sharing this photo with us.

Comments (10) | Posted in Music by jamie tworkowski

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This was posted on PostSecret.com yesterday:

In response:
First, to the person who shared the secret and sent the card, thank you for what you shared. A lot of people feel less alone today because of your words. A lot of people can relate, because they live there too. They live with the jokes that aren't funny and the pain misunderstood. Thank you for speaking up, for pushing back.

Thank you for your support. Thanks for believing in this work we do, this message we're attempting to share. TWLOHA is a conversation and a journey and a story and my guess is that you believe because what is ours is also yours. It seems as people that we find a home in things that feel true. In moments and places where understanding somehow happens. There might be something magic in the possibility that we are not alone, that it wasn't meant to go that way. If you find any of those things in this, then please know that it's that thing we always say: that we're in this all together. Life and pain and dreams and stories. Even spread across a planet, we're not so different. We need other people. We need hope and help and reminders that things do move and shake and change.

Thanks for writing what a million people feel. That the jokes aren't funny. That a person's pain isnot a punch line. Not something to laugh about. Thanks for saying that ignorance isn't bliss - it's ugly.

It seems that you are on to the possibility that you deserve better, that you deserve to be put back together instead of torn apart. Wrapped in things that are true instead of lies. Shown pictures of hope instead of failure.

We do pray that the jokes would fade to silence, or perhaps a better minor miracle, that the ones that hunt for humor would find even better things - things like kindness and compassion. Grace and understanding. That they might learn and even learn to care. And we hope for those things because we hear the stories where it's happening. We hear the stories of people starting to believe better things, people getting help, friends learning what it means to be a friend...

We'll leave it with this...
If you struggle with self-injury, you are not "a cutter". You are a person. You are not only your pain. You are not only wounds and scars. You are also better things. You are possibility and promise, hope and healing, daydreams, favorite books and favorite songs. You are the people that you love and the people who love you. You are hope and change and things worth fighting for. This is all your story and your story isn't over.

Peace to you tonight.
jamie

PS: Before and as i wrote this, i reflected on Molly Jenson's song "Do You Only Love the Ones Who Look Like You", which features Jon Foreman of Switchfoot. You can hear the song on our MySpace or you can go say hello to Molly.

Comments (151) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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Take some time this weekend to remember. 

War is a very real thing. 

If you feel free or safe tonight, know that it has come and continues to come at the highest cost. 

Soldiers are people - they are us - and many have given their lives for our freedom and security. 

This is not about politics. This is about people. 

The ones that live, can we even imagine what they've experienced, what they've seen and felt and lost?

What does it mean to "go back to normal"?

How do they recover?  How do they "let it go"? 

This weekend, let's do a better than "i don't have to go to work on Monday".  Let's look beyond "Oh cool, a three-day weekend."

Take some time to consider the soldiers.  The people.  Sons and daughters, brothers and husbands. Someone's father. Someone's uncle. Cousin. Neighbor. Friend. 

They are the fallen and the fighting and the ones forever trying to make sense of "home". They are missed by millions.

Have a conversation. Say "thank you". Ask a question.

The day is meant for remembering. Not just the deaths but the lives and the living.  

We live in a day with more distractions than ever before. More excuses. We make an enormous mistake if we fail to honor these people, if we fail to pause to consider and be grateful and be kind. 

Take some time this weekend to remember. Remember someone you've lost. Remember all the different soldiers. Remember the things that matter and the things that are true.

Peace to you.
jamie

Comments (30) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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Hey Guys.

We hope that today is a day that you can tell and show your Mom that you love her, that you are thankful for her life and for her place in yours. We hope that today is a day to pause and celebrate.

We also know that it's a difficult day for a lot of people. If you are without your Mom today, because of loss or pain or distance, we want to say that we're sorry.  We're sorry for your pain and for your questions.

If you are somewhere in the middle, please know that redemption still happens, that healing still happens. Hope and change still happen. Please don't give up on your story. Please don't give up on the stories around you.

If you are a daughter and things are broken, please know that there is hope for you. To break the cycle. To be a great mother to your own son or daughter someday. If that is your dream, then please know that it's possible.

Wherever today finds you, we want to take this moment to say that we're with you, that your life matters, your story matters. The places you came from, the places you'll go.

You are not alone today.

Peace to you.
jamie

Comments (20) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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"Hope isn't something you create, it's something you let inside."

Came across these words on John Mayer's Twitter tonight:

Something to think about...

Oh and if you have a couple minutes and you're a person of the twitter, we may have accidentally started a campaign to become friends with Mr. Mayer. i've often wondered if he's ever heard about TWLOHA, and what he might think. John seems like a guy who's trying to create things that matter and move... he gets music (obviously) but he also seems to get the power of words and importance of moments and the value of design - he values these things and i'm glad he's willing to speak up about them. 

This comes in contrast to a weekend where i saw a lot of bands led by singers who say the same things and say a lot and say pretty much nothing at all. There were certainly exceptions but it was strange and sad to watch band after band play to thousands of people and to hear them basically miss the moment - the chance to say real things, the chance to invite people to think or feel or ask a question or believe... 

It made me thankful for the artists we've connected with, folks who are trying to move people, folks with something to say in their songs and between their songs, folks willing to be honest, willing to be real, willing to dream instead of hiding behind bad laughs and empty chatter...

Maybe this applies to all of us. It's been said that "All the world's a stage." We all have an audience. We all have some kind of influence. We all have a story and a voice. Our lives are our songs. Our hearts are our songs. It's okay to ask real questions. It's okay to say real things. Let's make things that matter and move, and let's chase after those things as well.

Peace to you tonight.
jamie

PS: Didn't plan to write a blog. Was just going to share the JM quote as a bulletin... There will be a long-overdue it's-been-too-long new blog soon.

PS2: Lowercase.

PS3: Lyric from Ben Harper & Relentless7 song "Up To You Now": 

"You can run away from home but you can't run away from your pain..."

Comments (29) | Posted in General, Music by jamie tworkowski

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We have a new shirt called Lowercase and it comes in yellow and it comes in black.  We're also offering our old friend Title in a new color called "heather blue".  You can find those HERE or at Bamboozle in New Jersey this weekend.

We'll be back at Bamboozle this weekend and we're excited and we hope to see you.  Look for the TWLOHA team under the TWLOHA tent.  For real, we would love to see you.

Our inspiring friends in Invisible Children have been fighting the good fight in Chicago.  They are going to be on Oprah today and 4pm and we hope you'll watch proudly.

I am sitting next to Zach at the airport in Austin, about to fly to NYC.

Peace to you.
: )
jamie

PS - Here are what the new shirts look like:

Comments (19) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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Zach and i were at Virginia Tech three nights ago for a TWLOHA event. It’s hard to find the words to explain what the night meant to us. Early in my talk, i paused and confessed that i didn’t know what to say. We get a lot of opportunities to talk about the elephants in the room, but we usually can’t see them from the stage – we don’t know exactly what they look like. How do you talk about pain among people who have tasted it in a way you can’t imagine? How do you talk about pain when theirs was watched by the entire world?

We stood at Norris Hall and you cannot help but imagine the terror that took place there two years ago today. It is one thing to see the story on CNN, to read an article online. It is another thing entirely to walk the stunning campus, to see the flowers and the names, to see the portraits on the walls and to hear things like “I sat next to him in English” and “I had the chance to meet her mother.” 

Beyond the pain, we heard incredible stories of good and pictures of community. Students crying alone were met by the embrace of other students – strangers coming together to hurt and heal together. The residents of Blacksburg showed up to serve free food on Drill Field. With incredible understanding and grace, after ten days without classes, the school told their students that they could return to classes or not. If they chose to go to class, they could complete whatever assignments they wanted to. If their grades were good, they could choose to keep them. If their grades were poor, they wouldn’t count. Dave Matthews showed up to play for free.  So did John Mayer.

It’s been two years. Time heals some things but it can’t forget. There are fresh flowers at the memorial near Norris Hall, and i couldn’t help but imagine the stories of the people who left them. A mother’s whispered words as she placed the flowers by a name she chose for a daughter now gone. A best friend still aching after seven hundred days.

Today we join them in remembering. Prayers for families forever recovering. Prayers for students trying to believe that it’s possible to feel safe again. We remember the people who died and we acknowledge that every one of them had a story. We pause to stand with the people of Virginia Tech today. We say they’re not alone and we celebrate their grace and strength. 

Peace to you.
jamie

Comments (28) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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Hey Guys.

We've been home from Australia for a few weeks now. There's not a day that goes by where I don't think of it. The people and the place. We were there for Soundwave Festival, and with that, we were there for countless conversations.

The video below doesn't do the trip justice. There are no interviews and you don't get to hear any of the stories. You can't see the smoke from the fires or the courage in the faces. We had hoped to go spend time with people who lost everything in Victoria, but the weather cancelled our plans. We had hoped to connect with Dustin Miller - he was going to film interviews for us - but that didn't happen either.

Part of me was frustrated - this amazing trip but very little to show for it. But we did have a handheld camera with us, and when we weren't having conversations at the table, we were doing our best to stand inside the songs. We watched our friends in Underoath and Anberlin play some of the biggest shows of their lives. It's hard to explain what was happening in those moments. It was something alive.

Every person in every sea of people is also a story and every story matters. There are things worth screaming about. There are songs worth singing. Other places exist and people live there and they are priceless just like you.

Enjoy the video.
Peace to you.
jamie


Australia. from To Write Love on Her Arms. on Vimeo.

Comments (16) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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Hey Guys.

Exciting news!! TWLOHA shirts are now available at Zumiez stores across America. You can find TWLOHA at the following Zumiez locations:

Gilbert, AZ
Brea, CA
Santa Clara, CA
Pismo Beach, CA
Torrance, CA
Riverside, CA
San Jose, CA
West Covina, CA
Sacramento, CA
Modesto, CA
Fresno, CA
Cabazon, CA
Bakersfield, CA
Stockton, CA
Littleton, CO
Orlando, FL
Davenport, IA
Boise, ID
Gurnee, IL
Aurora, IL
Rockford, IL
Norridge, IL
Waldord, MD
Bloomington, MN
Buffalo, NY
Garden City, NY
Niagara Falls, NY
Woodburn, OR
Lincoln City, OR
King of Prussia, PA
Friendswood, TX
San Marcos, TX
Cypress, TX
Mercedes, TX
Pearland, TX
San Antonio, TX
Oklahoma City, OK 
Tulsa, OK
Grapevine, TX
Houston, TX
El Paso, TX
Round Rock, TX

If your local Zumiez is not listed above, feel free to go in and bug them about TWLOHA : )

HOT TOPIC UPDATE:
TWLOHA's Cities shirt shirt in black is now available in Hot Topic stores nationwide. Along with Cities, you can also find our Alive V-Neck in white, as well as our original Title shirt in a couple different colors. 

RON JON UPDATE:
We want to thank all of you that have supported TWLOHA at Ron Jon Surf Shop in Cocoa Beach over the last couple weeks. Thanks to you, TWLOHA is off to a great start in there and Ron Jon has decided to add TWLOHA shirts to their (South Florida) Sawgrass Mills location.

SO?
We're excited about all of this because our primary mission is to introduce a message of hope, help and community to people worldwide. We're trying to invite people into what we believe is an important conversation about issues that millions live with but few talk about. We want people to know that they're not alone. We want to do this by meeting people where they are and by doing our best to introduce this message in surprising settings. We've seen it happen online, with the 90,000+ emails and messages we've had the privilege of responding to, and we've seen it happen at universities and high schools, concert tours and festivals, even churches... We simply want to go where people go. With all of that in mind, we think the news above is another perfect example. 

Every TWLOHA shirt sold helps fund the unique mission of TWLOHA, and part of that mission is to give directly to treatment and recovery. We believe that help is real, that there are solutions for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide, and so we love that part of our mission is to invest in those solutions. Since 2006, thanks to your incredible support, we've been able to give nearly $500k to treatment and recovery, and that number continues to go up every single month. 

We want to say thank you and we want to say that we're excited and we hope you are too. We hope you have the best weekend in the history of weekends.

Peace to you.
jamie

Comments (27) | Posted in General, Merch by jamie tworkowski

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Hey Guys.

It's an anniversary of sorts. It was three years ago tonight that Jon Foreman from Switchfoot wore the first TWLOHA shirt, at a sold out SF show at Florida Atlantic University in Boca Raton. At the time, we had simply set out to help a friend and tell a story. No plans to start a non-profit or a movement or anything like that. But we learned that night that the story we were telling was connected to something much bigger. We heard from people at that show who knew the pain of losing a loved one to suicide. We heard from people dealing with depression and addiction and self-injury. We heard from people writing in on behalf of friends and family, people asking how they could help, how they could learn more, how they could get involved. 

My friend Chad Butler plays drums in Switchfoot and he wore the shirt the next night in Jacksonville. Deon Rexroat from Anberlin put one on before a show in New York a few days later, and i don't think he took it off for a year. The shirts were curious billboards and so everywhere these bands went, the messages would follow - questions and confessions and folks wanting to learn to fight for their friends. And it wasn't just bands serving as the spark - it was conversations over lunch in school cafeterias, friends at work, strangers in airports... Countless moments that started with something like "What does your shirt mean?" 

Somewhere along the way, between that night in Boca and this night where you are, our story bumped into yours. We're certainly thankful for it, as it's been a privilege and a surprise beyond what we or i could ever begin to explain. We've said it before but it still feels true and so we say it: We're all in this together. Thanks for being part of it...

Peace to you.
jamie

PS: On the note of surprises, i grew up watching John Norris on MTV News. A few days back during SXSW in Austin, i had the chance to have a conversation with him about TWLOHA. Thanks to SPIN, you can watch the interview here.

Comments (62) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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Hey Guys.

i mentioned something called Summerset in the "Welcome to Australia" blog. Summerset was a house that i lived in a few years back, along with Rich and Byron from the TWLOHA team. This was about seven years ago, so it was long before TWLOHA, but i think it had a lot to do with shaping the people and ideas that would become TWLOHA. Summerset was more than a place - i suppose we remember it as something more like a season or a chapter or the good kind of gang. We were a pack, we stuck together, we dreamed each other's dreams. We fought for each other. We shared money, food, couches and cars. And i suppose we lived this way because we believed that the dreams were more important than the details. We were better as one than apart. There was always music or talk of music, and it was also the season when i first started to get excited about writing...

Read more

Comments (10) | Posted in General, Music by jamie tworkowski

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Hey Guys.

We're in Austin, Texas for the South by Southwest music festival. There's 40,000 people in town for this. The busiest street is Sixth and there are these two banners on the corner of Sixth and Trinity...

The Give More Love Showcase. 
Troubadour Saloon 
503 E 6th St

Comments (9) | Posted in General, Music by jamie tworkowski

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Short version:

TWLOHA shirts are now available at Ron Jon Surf Shop in Cocoa Beach, Florida. 

Long version:

Hello from Australia.

Yup, i'm still here - big fan of this place. Stuck around after Soundwave for a few days of semi-vacation. i'm staying on the Gold Coast and cheering for friends who are here competing in the Quiksilver Pro at Snapper Rocks. This is the first event of the 2009 professional surfing season and it's pretty awesome timing that this happens to be happening right after Soundwave.

i've been a surfer my entire life. i am the son of a surfer. My parents grew up in Long Island but moved south to Florida before i was born, mainly because my dad fell in love with the warm and waves at Sebastian Inlet. After a few years, they ended up in Emerald Isle, North Carolina and opened a surf shop. i was born and after a few more years, we headed south to Florida. 

i grew up six miles north of Sebastian Inlet, which is arguably the best place to surf on America's east coast. For as long as i can remember, i've been around the ocean. Even now, if i'm away from it for more than a couple weeks, something in me starts to feel off. It's hard to explain but it's like part of me has gone missing. i don't usually realize it until i'm back home, or surfing somewhere, and then i begin to feel myself letting go of stress and questions. There's just something peaceful in it for me. That might sound weird, but it's become part of me being healthy. i don't mean that in some weird mystical spiritual way - i just mean it's become part of my story - it's part of who i am and it's something that i love... 

i worked at our local surf shop when i was in high school. After that, i worked for Quiksilver as an assistant in sales for four years. After Quiksilver, i worked for Hurley for four years. i handled all of their sales in Florida, which basically meant that i spent most of my time on the road, visiting surf shops all over Florida, making sure they had all the Hurley stuff they needed. Hurley took a pretty huge chance on me, offering a big job to an unproven 22 year-old (who liked to daydream and doodle and talk to people, but wasn't much for waking up early or paperwork). i learned so much in my time there, met amazing people and made amazing friends. 

A lot of people, myself included, assumed that i would work for Hurley for the next 20 years. It was a really good job and surfing and the surf industry were pretty much all i'd ever known, especially when it came to "career". But then three years ago, i met a girl named Renee and the five days that followed moved some things around in me. i wrote a story called "To Write Love on Her Arms", made a MySpace page to give the story a home, and ordered 200 t-shirts as a way to raise money for Renee's treatment. The surprising response to that humble beginning led to something of a crossroads and in July of 2006, i decided to quit my job at Hurley to pursue TWLOHA full-time. The rest, i suppose, is history. (If you're not sure what i'm talking about, It's pretty much all here in the archived blogs.)

One of my favorite things about my job at Hurley was Ron Jon Surf Shop. It's the biggest surf shop in the world and it's located just a few miles from where i live. People come from all over to see it - they follow the billboards along I-95 to a sea of boardshorts and t-shirts and bikinis. When i was with Hurley, i would go to Ron Jon every Monday to straighten up our section and to see what they needed. In the process as the years passed, the people there became my friends. There was a sense that beyond the business, there was caring in the room. It was nothing unusual for important meetings to begin with talk that sounded more like friends catching up over coffee. 

So when i left Hurley, it was really hard to say goodbye to Ron Jon. It was so hard that rather than call, i sent an email, which is probably the equivalent of breaking up with someone via text message... We did talk soon after and we did promise to stay in touch... 

Well, the exciting news is that i was back at the Ron Jon office a couple weeks ago, but this time it wasn't for Hurley and it wasn't even just to catch up as friends. i was there for a meeting about TWLOHA... It meant a lot to be able to bring them up to speed on everything that's happenened over the last two and a half years, how things have grown from a simple beginning, the surprising doors that continue to open, where the journey has taken us... It also meant a lot to hear their kind response.

The exciting news is this: TWLOHA shirts are now available at Ron Jon Surf Shop. 

We live in a world where everyone wants to label everything, put everything in a box where they can make simple sense of it. Well, TWLOHA is a few things at once and one of those things, in my opinion, is that we're a brand. We're also a non-profit, a conversation, a story, a collection of ideas, and maybe even a movement (though that's a very big word that shouldn't be thrown around.) 

Anyway, Ron Jon is home to a lot of popular brands such as Hurley, Volcom, Quiksilver, Roxy, Billabong and Element. There are a lot of popular brands in the world but it's rare that a brand has something to say. We believe that we do, that ours is a message that attempts to move people toward real hope, real help, real change. Toward conversations that heal and toward lives filled with real compassion. That's what we're aiming for.

We've also given nearly $500,000 to treatment and recovery, and with every TWLOHA shirt that someone buys, that number grows. 

We're excited about the Ron Jon news because thousands of people visit Ron Jon, and our message is one for people. It's a message of hope, help, honesty and community. We talk about issues that affect people so we like to bring our message to places where people go. We've been able to see that happen everywhere from universities to concerts in clubs to churches, even Hot Topic and NBC Nightly News. 

We're excited to add Ron Jon to that list and we hope you are too. If you're planning a trip to central Florida, or you call Florida home, we hope you'll check out the TWLOHA section at Ron Jon. Right now, it's just one rack, but with your help - who knows? Maybe we can make it grow. Like the rest of our surprising story, we make this stuff happen together.

Oh and if somebody asks why TWLOHA shirts would be sold in a surf shop, tell them not to overthink it. People are always the most important thing. People go surfing. People go to the beach. People wear clothes. People wrestle with questions and pain. We want to continue to show up where people show up. We want to continue to surprise people.

We're honored and grateful that Ron Jon would invite us. We hope to see you soon.

Peace to you, from the Gold Coast.
jamie

PS: i wrestled with this one being kind of long. Decided to share that stuff about my history with surfing and the surf industry as a way of explaining where this news comes from and also as a way of saying that this one means a lot to me. Thanks always for reading. Thanks for letting me write.

Comments (23) | Posted in General, Merch by jamie tworkowski

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Going all the way back to the original TWLOHA story, contrast is something we think about and talk about. My friend Kory and i aimed for it when we worked on the original (TWLOHA) Title logo three years ago. It's the reason we chose black and white. To represent pain and hope. Addiction and sobriety. Our dreams and our fears. Life and death. These odd couples and these battles seem to be everywhere - i see them on the news and i see them on the street and i feel them in my chest - and yet they tend to stay as secrets.

Comments (31) | Posted in General, Merch by jamie tworkowski

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Hey Guys.

i want to begin by saying that we're in Melbourne now, and so much of our focus going into this trip was on our time here in Melbourne, getting to visit people and places affected by the fires. We had plans to brings artists to shelters, to offer their time and their songs in trying to make life a little better for folks who have lost so much recently. Anthony from Bayside, Stephen from Anberlin, Aaron from Underoath, and Jordan from New Found Glory were all excited to go. 

Because of the weather, we had to cancel our plans. Unfortunately, the weather is simply too dangerous in the areas that have already been affected. The concern is that there will be more fires because of the temperatures and the wind. 

i mentioned the guys who were planning to go because i think it's important to say that they care, that there are people on this tour who are thinking beyond the stage and the shows. i walked up to Jordan from New Found Glory a couple days ago and gave this awkward introduction, started trying to explain our plans and he stopped me mid-sentence with "I'm in." 

The good news is that all of us will be at Soundwave tomorrow, and we'll get to spend the day with thousands and thousands of people from Melbourne and the surrounding areas. My guess is that everyone there tomorrow has been touched by the fires in some way, and that some have known significant loss. It's our hope that tomorrow will be a special day in the middle of a difficult time for people here. 

There's no easy transition. i'll simply say that the fires have been on our mind and remain on our mind. Again, the good news is that we're excited to spend the day with the people of this place tomorrow. Say a prayer for Victoria.

The trip has been great so far. Here's my best attempt at bringing you here with words:

I went and said hello to the Bayside guys just before they went on stage at Soundwave in Sydney last weekend. My friend Jack plays guitar in Bayside and I asked him how he was enjoying Australia. This was his response: 

“I’m trying to think of one good reason why I shouldn’t move here, but I’m having trouble coming up with anything.” He eventually added that living in Australia would put him far from his family, though it was the only negative he could find.

We heard similar things the next day when we introduced Aaron and Spencer from Underoath and Stephen from Anberlin to Bondi Beach. At Bondi, the shops and cafes and houses stand along the water like an audience, and whether you prefer city or coast, we all agreed it would be hard to find a prettier place or a setting more alive. (I’m a surfer so I may be a bit partial.)

Our (TWLOHA) team on this trip to Australia is Chris Youngblood and Rich Sullivan and myself, and we are here primarily for Soundwave Festival, which happened last weekend in Brisbane and Sydney and will happen again tomorrow in Melbourne. Sunday is Adelaide and then we get one day off to fly across the continent to Perth. Adelaide and Perth will be firsts for us so we’re certainly excited. 

Chris was our first intern and when I met him, about two years ago, he had never left Georgia. I think his first time out of Georgia was to help us at The Almost show in Columbia, South Carolina. Over the last couple years, he’s become a big part of our story and our team. On our better days, Chris reminds us that community is not some idea for blogs and stages. It is something real and needed, as we have become his and he is part of ours and mine. He traded everything he knew to join our team.

These days, Chris handles everything in the realm of the internet and social networking for TWLOHA. He also spent last summer representing TWLOHA on Warped Tour and will be back out there again come June. Chris and I just took a long walk down Chapel Street in Melbourne, Australia, and this makes me smile because it’s safe to say that he is a long way from Georgia at the moment. 

Rich is one of my oldest friends. A few years ago, we shared a room in a house nicknamed “Summerset”. Byron Cutrer is TWLOHA’s Director of Operations, and he lived there too. Well, technically he didn’t live there, but he slept on the couch probably five nights a week. Summerset was a bunch of guys who liked music way too much, doing life together and wrestling with dreams we didn’t know what to do with. We walked through a lot together. We look back now and smile because so much has changed since then, but also because the things we began to believe back then are the things we get to believe now with TWLOHA. 

Anyway, Rich was part of the first “Stop the Bleeding” tour we ever did, to Nashville and back in 2006. He has been a friend ever since, played a major part in HEAVY AND LIGHT last month, and started full-time with us just after that, focusing on all things related to music and events. 

Okay, back to Australia. (Sorry for the detour, but I feel like I am usually the one who writes these things and I like the idea of you getting to know the folks behind the scenes.) 

We’re here for Soundwave and we’re off to a great start with Brisbane and Sydney. Brisbane is a beautiful city on Australia’s east coast, the furthest north we get to go on this journey. Brisbane’s downtown is really cool – lots of shops and really clean and alive with lots of young people walking around. Sydney is hard to describe – I haven’t been everywhere but it must be one of the world’s great cities. It is a beautiful mix of harbor and hills and skyline and beaches. In trying to explain it to folks back home, I’ve found myself saying that Sydney is like San Francisco meets Seattle meets the tropics. I don’t know if that’s remotely accurate but that’s what comes to mind. To say it a different way, I could totally live here. 

The folks from Soundwave have been incredibly generous and inviting to us. We arrived the first day in Brisbane to find that they had set us up our own tent, more space than we needed, right next to the main merch tent. They have something like 50 bands to look after, not to mention thousands of people coming out each day, and we were blown away that folks from the Soundwave team kept coming by asking how our day was going, asking if we needed anything. It’s an amazing thing when people believe in what you’re doing, when people get excited and start sharing whatever they have, opening whatever doors they can. 

The kindness we found with the Soundwave team didn’t end there. It must be an Australian thing because people have been really amazing to us, thanking us for coming, asking how we like Australia, asking our plans for this place and how they can get involved. We’ve had countless conversations with folks here who believe in the work and mission of TWLOHA. It’s been exciting for me personally, to see the passion and belief in the people here. There’s something powerful about finding things are true around the world, that we share ideas and needs and solutions, that we’re all people in need and that hope is contagious and universal. 

Read more

Comments (11) | Posted in General, Merch, Music by jamie tworkowski

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To our friends in Australia,

We don't know what to say. 

i'm sorry.  We're sorry. 

We'll start there.   

Why?  Why does it snow in one place and rain in another while a third place burns? 

Why is life like that?

The following words kept me up most of last night.  This came in an email from a friend in Melbourne:
"A few days ago i read a text message that a mother had received from her son who was trapped in the fire - it was his goodbye.  This woman broke down in front of me at the thought of never seeing her son again..."

My friend went on to say that he had stood on what used to be a football ground. He said that 56 people had evacuated to this place at the last minute, believing it was safe because it was away from the trees.  All 56 of them were killed. 

i don't know what to do with stories like that.  i don't know what to say in response. 

i suppose we just want to say that this has our attention, and that we're going to do everything we can to help.  We're talking to friends, especially in Melbourne, to see what's being done and how we can get involved.  Rich, Chris and i head to Australia for Soundwave Festival next week, a trip we already had planned, before the fires.  The timing is certainly surprising.  It hit me late last night in reading that email from my friend, that we have to do something, we have to respond.  We have to be creative and do what we do best... i emailed some of our friends who are playing Soundwave, guys who are part of our story.  Amazing to think we'll be over there with some of our close friends (Anberlin, Bayside, Aaron Gillespie) in a moment like this.  Everyone is willing to help, to say this matters, to do something in response, to go beyond just saying words from a stage...

In closing, i just want to say that our thoughts and prayers are with the people of Australia right now, especially those that have lost ones and homes.  We don't want to offer you cheap answers.  We do want to say that your questions matter to us, your pain matters to us.  Your families, your towns, your stories, your memories.  Real things.  They matter.  You matter.   

As much as possible, across an internet and across all the oceans, we want to say that we're with you right now.  Australia is a place that moves us, that matters to us - i mean that personally, that i fell in love with Australia last year.  We're excited to go back and we hope to see you soon.   

Peace to you, from all of us in Florida and around the world. 
jamie



We will be at all five dates: Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne, Adelaide and Perth. (Yes, Perth!) Look for the TWLOHA tent and check the calendar for more info.

Comments (40) | Posted in General, Music by jamie tworkowski

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Hey Guys.

i think we can all relate to all of the following: pain, hope, love, loss, laughter, questions, joy, loneliness, dreams, sickness, fear and friendship.  Sometimes life is this really amazing thing.  Sometimes it hurts like hell.  Sometimes it's just plain awkward.

Valentine's Day can be pretty great if you have a date or a wife or boyfriend, or something along those lines.  But like most holidays, it can also remind you what's missing or what hurts.  It can be a pretty lonely day.  (It can certainly be awkward.)

We believe that conversations are powerful, that with all of the issues we speak to and so many of the messages we respond to, the answer begins there, with choosing to live less alone, choosing to do life with other people. 

So, for the second year in a row, this is our attempt at taming a famous awkward day.  We did this last year and it turned out to be a great night.  We're aiming for more of the same this year, wanting Saturday night's live chat to be a taste of community, honesty and hope for a lot of people. 

See you Saturday? 
: )
jamie

PS: It's pretty easy.  You'll just need to go to AbsolutePunk.net at 8pm EST this Saturday night (2/14). If you want to participate in the chat, you'll need to create an account. It's easy and it's free.

PS2: We'll be in Chicago for events Thursday and Friday.  Check the calendar for info. 

Comments (41) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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Hello from New York.

Great night last night, celebrating birthday with some really dear friends here in the City. Been feeling loved lately and i hope you can say the same. It's good to be reminded.

Last night i met a beautiful girl by the name of Lorretta Faye Williams. i'd heard a lot about her so it was good to meet in person. Lorretta is a month old and has a daddy named Zach. Zach loves a woman called Stacy and their story is about as good and strong as stories get. You'll have to catch a show sometime to know what i mean.

Fell asleep to snow last night and woke up to rain. It's cold but i suppose we're headed for a different kind of cold tomorrow. Tomorrow, we head for Canada. Zach Williams is bringing his band (they're amazing) and his songs, and Stacy and Lorretta are coming too. This trip is an exciting one, as it's the first time Zach's band will be joining us for a TWLOHA gig, and it's my first time speaking in Canada.

The Ottawa event is happening Friday night. We hope to see a lot of you, and we hope you'll help us spread the word. Here's the info:

This Friday, 1/30/09
A Really Cold Evening in Canada with TWLOHA.
Conversation: Pain, Hope, Questions and Community.
Talk by TWLOHA founder Jamie Tworkowski
Q&A to follow.
Music by Zach Williams

Algonquin College
Marketplace, Salon A
Building D
1385 Woodroffe Avenue
Nepean, ON K2G 1V8, Canada
7:00 PM FREE / ALL AGES

For more info, go HERE or email info@twloha.com

Hope to see you soon.
: )
jamie

Comments (21) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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i like birthdays. i like them more for other people but i'm glad we celebrate them. At the heart of it is the opportunity to tell someone "I'm glad that you were born", which is also to say "I'm glad that you're alive." Those are powerful statements. The world would be a different better place if we lived that way, if we said and showed those things, more than once a year.

i hope TWLOHA can be something like that, an attempt to say those things more often, to say that we are thankful for life and stories and certainly yours. i hope that we can be something like a gift, something like a favorite song or some show that you remember, some piece of hope or life or strength to hold against the walls when they feel cracked or falling. i hope we can be a reminder that life is worth fighting for, that your friends and family are worth fighting for, that love and beauty still happen, that change still happens. We'll only ever be part of the process, words on a screen in the middle of the night - i hope they find you like a friend. A t-shirt pulled from one of your drawers early on a tired silent morning - i hope you feel less alone when you look in the mirror. i hope it reminds you of community, that you're part of a bigger thing. i hope it sparks some conversation that brings change like a fire on the coldest night.

You'll need more than us. You'll need more and better. You'll need other people. You'll need people to help you process, people to help you let go, people to help you remember what's true and people to help you forget what's lies. You'll need the stories and advice of people with gray hair or white hair or no hair at all. Don't buy the lie that suggests they have nothing to offer or nothing to say - they were young once too. They are stories still going and they've seen the places you will go. They've been stuck at times as well, just like you and me and everyone.

You'll need coffee shops and sunsets and road trips. Airplanes and passports and new songs and old songs, but people more than anything else. You will need other people and you will need to be that other person to someone else, a living breathing screaming invitation to believe better things.

We're saying the story doesn't end here, that the air in your lungs is there for a reason. Perhaps we're all in the business of better endings, you as much as us, the business of redemption. Yours and mine and all the characters around us, and perhaps that bigger thing. i'll steal from Bono here and tell you that i believe we're far from alone in this, that God's been at this for a long time, this business of buying things back, making things new. If this is starting to sound too Churchy or spiritual, i'll simply say that i believe God gives a shit, about your life, about your story, about your pain. And if those possibilities feel too far or they just sound weird, then rest now and we'll get back to people.

We give a shit.

The darkness wins too often. Broken things build themselves in silence. People feel alone. People give up. People talk about this stuff like it's math or they don't talk about it at all.

So what are we doing? Why this page? Why the shirts? Why did a group of young people put their lives on hold and move to Florida a week ago? Why would they trade everything they know, all their normal comfort and quiet, for a crowded house and endless hours of this word "community"? Why would they want to join a conversation that most people run from?

We're trying to fight for people with kindness, with words that move, with honesty and creativity. We're trying to push back at suicide with compassion, with hope. We're pointing to wisdom, pointing to medicine, saying that hope is real, help is real. We're fighting for our own stories, our own friends and families, our own broken hearts. We're saying there's nothing we can't talk about, nothing off-limits. We're kicking elephants out of living rooms, making room for life.

You. It's about you. This is for you. It's crap unless it moves you, crap unless it connects with your story, meets you in your pain, reminds you of your dreams, reminds you what's possible.

We're still alive, you see. You and i on this night that's never happened before. Spread out across a giant circle, winter on one side and summer on the other, day and night the same. And then it moves and turns and changes. Things are always changing.

We are glad that you were born.
We are glad that you're alive.

Don't give up. Don't give up on your story. Don't give up on the people you love. Hope is real. Love is real. It's all worth fighting for.

Peace to you tonight.
jamie

PS: If you're wondering where the heck this came from, i turned 29 today. It's enough to make you think... : ) Off to meet the boys at Texas Roadhouse. Gonna catch a B.L.O.R.R. show after that.

PS2: You absolutely must see the new Coldplay video for "Life in Technicolor II". Prepare to smile.

PS3: You are officially invited to follow TWLOHA on twitter: twitter.com/twloha

Comments (50) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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Hey Guys. 

Denny and i spoke to a small group in Altoona today, in response to the recent suicides in the community here. It was a privilege to be in the room, just to be invited into the the conversation. We heard from a mother who lost her son, friends and classmates, parents and counselors, and even the School Superintendent. It was an honor to show up on behalf of this global community (you), to tell our surprising story of lives changing, people finding hope and help.

More than anything, we came to say that this place matters, these people here, the lives lost and the ones in the room and the many outside. We came to say we're part of the same story, that the hope we believe in, the help we point to - we believe those things for people here as well. And for the great loss, the people who can't come back, we simply said we're sorry. We acknowledged the enormous questions and did our best not to offer anything cheap or tiny in the face of those. No magic formula or easy answers. People cried because there are things in life worth crying about.

i found out today that the Anberlin guys will be here (Des Moines) tomorrow, on their tour with Between the Trees. So i decided to stay an extra day to spend some time with them, and to say a few words at the show tomorrow night. Hope to see you there.

Also, the Superintendent and some other folks here asked us to come back, so we're going to come back soon, to speak at one (or some) of the high schools. We've been moved by the story here, and it isn't just the loss. We're moved by the people that we met today, the folks remembering and believing and asking for change. We'll certainly be back, and together, we'll continue to say these things that we believe. We'll do our best to meet each other in the questions, and to say that life is worth fighting for.

Peace to you tonight.
jamie

PS: Don't tell Josh Moore, but i bought him a shirt today, at a store called SMASH. It says "The prettiest girls in the world live in Des Moines." It's a Jack Kerouac quote. i don't know if Josh has been here, but i think he's gonna smile.

Comments (19) | Posted in General, Music by jamie tworkowski

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Last night began like this:
You can watch HEAVY AND LIGHT from start to finish HERE, thanks to SyncLive.com.  You'll have to create an account but it's free and super easy and honestly, it rules.  It's basically like a DVD.  You can skip forward or rewind.  You can watch specific parts.  The sound is really good.     

Here's what a few folks had to say...
Jon Foreman: "My favorite night of the year so far! Good friends with incredible talents singing together for a night of validating the worth of the highs and lows of the human experience."

Dustin Kensrue: "It was encouraging and life-giving to see so many people gathered with their guards down.  It's a rare thing in our culture to cultivate that kind of honesty and openness, and the way TWLOHA has managed to create that atmosphere was clearly seen last night.  It was beautiful to behold."

Aaron Gillespie:  "It was my favorite show of the last couple years.  It reminded me of how I imagine the 50's in Nashville, with Johnny Cash and his friends learning songs backstage and then everyone playing together that night."

My two cents: Last night was a dream come true on so many levels.  A few years ago, we started imagining these nights that could be more than music, nights where you could fill a room with hope and honesty, nights where you could also point to community and treatment.  It was unbelievable to see so many people willing to listen last night, people willing to engage this conversation.  And then obviously, the music was incredible and to be able to do it in this venue that we love, in the city where this began... It was a night we’ll never forget.

We want to say thank you to Jon and Dustin for flying across the country to be there, Anthony and Zach for coming down from New York, Mr. Josh Moore for coming from Carolina, and Aaron Gillespie for making the drive over from Tampa, after being on the road for basically the last six months. Thanks to the House of Blues for having us, and thanks beyond words to everyone who came from everywhere to be there last night. It was seriously a beautiful night, and i needed it as much as anyone.  More very soon, pictures and sounds and words.

Peace to you.
jamie

PS: You seriously need to watch the webcast.  All i can tell you is that it's safe to say there was some collaboration.

PS2: Here's the link to the Intro Video on YouTube.

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Hey Guys.

Exciting news. TWLOHA is included in an article about depression in the new issue of Teen Vogue Magazine. It's the February 2009 issue (Gossip Girl's Leighton Meester on the cover). The article was written by Leigh Belz and can be found on page 106.

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Hey Guys.

Sitting here listening to Land of Talk's "It's Okay" on repeat.  Not sure why, just been feeling safe in this song for the last few days.  Her voice is calming.

There's a great article about HEAVY AND LIGHT in today's Orlando's Sentinel. Check it out HERE.

We drove over to House of Blues today to get a feel for the room.  We've been there a hundred times but there's something different when you know they're about to hand you the keys, when it's yours for a night.  The room was completely empty and Chad was trying to figure out where the shirts will go and Rich was working on internet stuff and i was wandering around talking to myself and thinking about Sunday - up in the balcony thinking about family and friends and down on the floor wondering who will be standing there and where they will come from and how they'll be feeling.  It's an amazing room but it's empty until you fill it with stories.  People make a place.

The airplanes start arriving tomorrow so there's been lots of last-minute calls and texts and ideas.  Like last year, there will be some great surprises, some bright moments.  i'm still blown away that all of these guys are playing our show.  i would be excited if any one of them were playing and instead it's something like an all-star team.  More than half the names are known but we like the introductions as well.  You found us because our friends shared their stages so now we do the same.  There is a rookie by the name of Zach Williams who we think people need to meet.  He sings his stories with an urgency, something like a screaming.  Maybe we like him because we believe that there are things in life worth screaming about.  Maybe we find something true there, some sort of freedom.     

Heavy and Light is about winning and losing together.  It's the idea that we were meant to live that way -  we were meant to share things, to walk together.  It's the idea of being honest about pain and hope.

Also, we think music is pretty great so there will be a lot of music.  Music reminds us that we're alive, that it's okay to feel and care and ask and move, that maybe it's okay to be honest.

We hope to see you Sunday when the lights go down at six. There are still tickets available. Come with a friend or simply bring your story.  Your story is important.

Peace to you.
jamie
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Hi Guys.

It's been a pretty amazing year. Thanks beyond words for your support.

Here's 2008 in review, starting back in January.

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What was the highlight of your 2008?

What are you hopeful for in 2009?

: )

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Hey Guys.

Sorry it's been a few days. i hope this finds you warm and with people you love.

At the heart of today is this idea that we've been given a gift, and the gift suggests that we are part of a bigger story. Gifts and stories are the same in that we get to choose what we do with them.

Someone hands you a present and then you get to choose:

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Comments (9) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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Hey Guys.

Hello from New York City - Times Square to be exact. Byron and i just took a walk and checked out the enormous famous Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center, which was lit earlier tonight, smells great and simply rules. New York is hard to beat, especially this time of year. You gotta see it.

We are in town for the first-ever Alliance of Youth Movements Summit:
"From December 3 to 5, leaders of pioneering youth movements will launch a global network that seeks to empower young people to mobilize against violence and oppression. Brought together by Howcast, Facebook, Google, YouTube, MTV, the U.S. Department of State, Columbia Law School and Access 360 Media, leaders of the organizations will travel to New York City with the mission of crafting a field manual on how to effect social change using online tools."

Needless to say, we're beyond honored to be here. It's a pretty amazing group of people from all over the world, brought together by a pretty incredible group of brands. Everyone here is fighting for change in some way, working creatively to fight injustice and make life better for people. One interesting thing about this group is that all of us are using the internet and new media to do it. 

TWLOHA will be featured (speaking) on two different panels:

Thursday, 12/4 - 1:45 to 2:45pm EST
Panel: "Addressing Violence at Home"
Hosted by Whoopi Goldberg!!

Friday, 12/5 - 8:50am to 9:40am EST
Panel: "How to Begin - Taking it to the Streets"
Hosted by Larry Diamond

For tons more info (including schedule and press release) and to watch the whole thing live online tomorrow and Friday, check out:
http://info.howcast.com/youthmovements/

This is a pretty big moment for us and i just want to take a second and say that we are here because of you. i mean that in a couple different ways. i mean we're here because you got us here, because of your response and because of your incredible support. But i also mean that we're here on your behalf. Earlier tonight we were at Google and tomorrow we're being interviewed by Whoopi Goldberg and tomorrow night we'll be at MTV in Times Square, and all of that is pretty exciting... but the heart of the matter is that we're here on behalf of people who are hurting. We're here on behalf of people who feel alone and people who live in silence. We're here because we believe in hope and help, and because we believe that people need other people. It's a privilege that we get to say those things and it's a privilege to represent you guys.

i have to be awake in five hours so i should probably get some sleep : )

Peace to you.
jamie

Comments (15) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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Hi Guys.

i hope it's been a good weekend. Thanks for the kind words in response to the last blog. That one meant a lot as those are the moments when i feel like i have the best job in the world. Perhaps honesty is a bit contagious in that when one person goes there, it somehow gives other people permission to do the same... Also, really cool to see people talking about the things they're thankful for in the comments.

As for tonight... As an organization, we are fans and friends and partners of both Hopeline (1-800-SUICIDE) and PostSecret. One is on the front lines of saving lives and the other is inviting people to tell their secrets and it's sparked a conversation that is honest, creative and powerful. We feel a lot of common ground and believe in the work of Hopeline and PostSecret because what we all have in common is that we're trying to invite people to reach out and take steps away from the weight and shame of their secrets and their pain, to begin to be less alone in those places.

In yesterday's PostSecret MySpace blog, PostSecret's Frank Warren interviews Hopeline's Reese Butler. Reese started Hopeline after the suicide of his wife Kristin in 1998. Kristin ended her life in the midst of battling postpartum depression and Reese founded Hopeline because he believed that more needed to be done to offer hope and help to people considering suicide. Frank calls Reese his hero and i know that we would echo that in saying that we are inspired by his life and work, and we are thankful for his friendship.

Each week, PostSecret receives hundreds of anonymous postcards from people all over the world. These are people's secrets and they are delivered to Frank's door. The following postcard was featured in yesterday's blog and i thought it might be powerful to post it here, and also to respond:

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Comments (1989) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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Just wanted to say a quick hello and Happy Thanksgiving. It's an interesting day where families get together and we're invited to consider the things for which we're thankful. i suppose this holiday, like pretty much every holiday, can look and feel a lot of different ways. In some homes, i imagine it's epic and people stand and share aloud the things they're thankful for. For others, it might just be a lot of football on television and conversations that stick close to the surface. Maybe it's a day you love and look forward to, an easy day. Maybe it's a difficult day, rooms filled with elephants, things left unsaid or people simply missing... 

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Comments (19) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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Tonight we remember the life of Casey Calvert. It's been a year since Casey's death. Our thoughts and prayers are for Ashley and the rest of Casey's family, and for Hawthorne Heights (Eron, JT, Matt, Micah) and the many more who called Casey a friend. 

Our hearts are heavy and light.
We laugh and scream and sing.
Our hearts are heavy and light.
In loving memory: Casey Calvert

This community responded in an amazing way one year ago. We want to thank everyone who has honored Casey and helped meet the needs of his family over the last year. And thanks to everyone who wears the Casey shirt - i know it continues to mean the world to the guys in Hawthorne Heights. i had dinner with them a couple months back and they said it's the coolest thing in the world seeing those shirts at their shows, people saying that they care and they remember. 

You are welcome to leave a comment here, but i think it would be even cooler if you send your love HERE.

Comments (18) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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Walter and Megan were married just a few weeks ago in Florida, a wedding on the sand at Clearwater Beach. At a typical wedding, the bride throws her bouquet of flowers and a single friend will catch it and everyone smiles at the possibility that this person might be next to marry. It's an easy moment and it points to the future. At Walter and Megan's wedding, Megan did not throw her flowers. She handed them to Walter's mother, in honor of Emily. She did this to remember, to say that someone was missing on this beautiful day, and perhaps also to say that as a family and as a community, they continue together. 

Tomorrow is for everyone who's lost someone to suicide. It is a day to say that their life mattered and it is remembered, and perhaps it is a day to say that we continue together, learning life is better less alone. 

Peace to you.
jamie

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Hey Guys.

Mentioned our surprising night in Philly in yesterday's blog.  Well, thanks to Mike Gallagher and Philly Music Scene Initiative, we get to share it with you here (minus the cold weather and minus the hot chocolate).  This is what happens when 100 people show up at a coffee shop where the fire code is 50.  Is it possible to be in two places at once?  This was our attempt at "Yes"...

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Hello from the Shenandoah Valley in Virginia.

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We just finished the gig in Newark, Delaware and we're heading for NYC. It's late but we're excited to get Zach Williams back to his Brooklyn and his bride. We'll spend our day off in New York tomorrow. Friday night is DC and then we'll be back in Brooklyn Saturday afternoon. The road's been great so far. The colors of the Carolina Fall have had us staring out the windows, considering beauty. The brights are giving way to browns and grays, and we know it won't be long before they fade to white and winter. We are here before those storms.

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Josh Moore, Aaron Moore and i had a great night at Greenville College in Illinois two weeks ago. First event we've done together in a while and it got us excited for this east coast tour that we're on now.  The GC folks were kind hosts and i was happy to say yes when they asked if i might answer some questions so that their community could learn a little more about TWLOHA.  i wanted to share the conversation here as well:

GC: Can you give me an overview of TWLOHA? How it started? What's the purpose? Who is TWLOHA?

JT: "To Write Love on Her Arms" began in 2006 as a written story and an attempt to help a friend. We made a MySpace page and started selling t-shirts as a way to help pay for our friend's drug treatment. The organization was born from the response to those things. Today, we're a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. We exist to encourage, inspire, inform and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery. In the last two years, our team has responded to 80,000 messages and those messages have come from 40 different countries. 

I'll give you two answers for "Who is TWLOHA?"

1. TWLOHA is a small team of staff and volunteers based in Cocoa, Florida.
2. TWLOHA is a worldwide movement of young people committed to hope, help, conversation and community.

GC: Who is TWLOHA aimed toward?

JT: Our message has spread quickly through MySpace, Facebook and the music community, so a lot of our audience is young. That said, we know that the issues we talk about are issues that affect people of all ages all over the world, so I think the best answer is simply "people". We're trying to create something inviting, something that meets people where they are, as they are.

GC: This story started with Renee's story. (See www.TWLOHA.com for the background information.) Was she the first person who raised your awareness to these types of issues and gave a "face and a name and realness" to the things people struggle with?

JT: Renee was the first in terms of addiction and self-injury. There were other people in my life (prior to Renee) who struggled with depression. I lost my friend Zeke to suicide about a month before I met Renee.

GC: How does TWLOHA invest in lives?

JT: We try to create hope and point to help and we do that through words especially. Through our blog and other website content, through the messages we read and respond to, through creative campaigns and projects, through opportunities to speak and lead discussions at universities, concerts, churches and other events. We also invest financially in treatment and recovery. 

Comments (4) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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We've stood on a lot of different stages over the last couple years, though they're almost never ours. We tend to borrow them from our friends. The crowds gather and stand and wait for the songs. The band sends us instead. It's a surprising privilege, scary at times. Usually, it's just a couple minutes, just long enough to to mention hope, to say you're not alone. It's an honor to take the stage before the songs, because we believe in the songs - we believe in the things our friends have to say, the music that they're making. And maybe it's an honor all the more because the borrowing suggests that a band believes in us as well, that maybe we have something to say. 

We've borrowed from Anberlin, Switchfoot, Bayside, The Almost, The Rocket Summer, and Copeland. Maybe you first found us at one of those shows, as the stranger on stage or the table in the back... We've heard that from a lot of people. We love those nights. We love being in the room with the music and the people and the sense of now and urgency.

The stage thing first happened three Cornerstones ago. July 2006 to be exact. i introduced Bradley Hathaway, Copeland and one other band that year. i'd met those guys before, Bradley at a birthday party in Orlando, Aaron on a long walk in Lakeland. The third band was the Myriad and i'd never met them prior to Cornerstone. i kept running into Jonathan from the band and we became fast friends. They played twice that year and i think i actually introduced them both times. i remember Jon playing in our green Title shirt, but with this long white scarf as well. It shouldn't have worked but it totally did, as the band is completely unique and something like a theater show. They are truly great live.

We've run into The Myriad guys here and there since then, at festivals and shows along the way. They were with us for the start of the Switchfoot tour earlier this year, always warm and kind and smiles. They work hard, tour constantly. They travel by van to keep the costs low, so that there's something to send back to loved ones on the west coast. The old songs were good and the new songs are even better. The live show is even stronger, which is saying a lot. We root for them.

And i've never forgotten their generosity back when all of this began, basically: "The show can wait. You have something to say. Go tell them." 

Well, we have something like a stage now. The numbers suggest a stadium. You helped build it, you lit the lights. This place is unique and so we all play all the parts. We are the builders, the sold-out crowd, the workers and just as much the talent. i'm writing tonight to return the favor to The Myriad, because there is a need among them.

Their drummer Randy Miller is fighting cancer. With him in this fight are his wife Kristyn and his children Connor and Gillian. There are immediate and on-going financial needs. Please read the initial band's blog HERE.  There is also an update HERE.

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Comments (2) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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Hey Guys.

We've been working on tour stuff today, excited to kick things off this Friday night at UGA in Athens. (As a sidenote, i am a little sad about having to miss Coldplay. They're playing Orlando that night.)

i want to say thanks to everyone who responded to yesterday's "Meet Zach Williams" blog. i talked to Zach for a while this morning and he was really moved and encouraged by all the kind words. He wrote a blog in response and you can read that HERE.

We're excited to announce that Zach Williams will be joining us for three dates on the upcoming East Coast Tour.  He will be playing the first two shows, Friday in Athens and Saturday at Clemson. He'll also be joining us in Brooklyn on Saturday, 11/15. That's a show we're just now announcing and that one will have to be "An Afternoon with To Write Love on Her Arms", because it starts at 4pm. Super excited about this one as i spent a few days there last week and it got me thinking... that maybe life in NYC has a lot in common with life in community. Both require sacrifice. Both mean being vulnerable. Both can be really difficult, but people choose NYC and people choose community because, ultimately, they believe it's worth it. There are easier places to live but ask any New Yorker and they'll probably tell you that it's the greatest city in the world, that they couldn't imagine living anywhere else. It seems there's something healthy about living life with other people, living among stories and conversations, inviting those things and choosing those things. And then it seems like there's something about inspiration as well, like we were meant to be moved. For me, there's something about being in a place where so much is happening, something about all of that history and beauty, something about that skyline... 

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We just added a new song to the MySpace playlist... 

i'd never heard of Zach Williams until my friend Jon Tyson invited me to see him play last Tuesday in NYC. Jon is one of my heroes and his text said "Trust me" and since i'd never heard him say that, i pretty much had to go.

i went to see Zach play at Rockwood Music Hall, which is a tiny perfect room in Manhattan's Lower East Side. It turned out to be one of the best shows i've ever seen in my life. i keep telling people about it and i'm pretty sure i sound like an idiot because i can't begin to explain it and i just go on and on. For me, it was everything i love about music and so much of what i hope to find in this life. The packed tiny room was also a picture of community. When Zach sang "Take me to Brooklyn", his friends screamed and it was obvious that Brooklyn is them and theirs and they are a gang of the best kind, the kind we were meant for.

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Hey Guys.

We want to say thank you to everyone who watched the TWLOHA story on NBC Nightly News tonight. Our team watched it together in Cocoa, along with Byron's parents, his wife Amanda and their new baby Eden. My mom was there too - my mom is the best. It was a really special night, more emotional than i thought it would be. It was really heavy having our story in the mix with the news about Hurricane Ike and the millions affected in Texas and the Gulf. We said a prayer for those people during the commercial break, and they remain in our thoughts and prayers now. We know that this is a difficult night for a lot of people. We also prayed for the people and families that would be seeing the TWLOHA story tonight. We were told nine million people would be watching and it was heavy on my heart tonight that those are nine million individuals. Nine million stories. Real people. Real families. We spent some time talking about that, and we prayed that those people would be introduced to hope and help.

Comments (20) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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