Hey guys,

Jason and I are back home after wrapping up TWLOHA’s fourth year on Warped Tour. It feels good to be home. It feels weird to be home. I think when you’re surrounded by the same people all day every day for two straight months you can either become annoyed with each other and choose to pull away, or you can experience growth together – learning the things about one another that makes them laugh, what you can poke fun at, and the simple things you can do for someone to make them loved.

Every year on Warped has a different feel to it. From the people on the tour to the music being played. I’d say the only consistent thing is the greasy catering food offered to everyone on the tour. This year I went out halfway through the tour with a certain kind of optimism. One that had hope to see people on the tour encouraged, enjoying each other, and more than anything going that extra little bit to get to know people.

Within a week, a friend came onto the bus and said, “I don’t have it in me to have another mindless conversation.” He wasn’t the only one feeling that way. More and more people started retreating to their own buses at night, and the conversations were about how hot the days were and the anticipation of getting off the tour. No substance. No foundations being built beyond connecting over the fact that you were both exhausted by the end of the day.

My whole time out, I had been anticipating my friend Jered Scott’s arrival for the last week of the tour and getting to share some time with him. We’ve had maybe a week total of days spent together over the past year and a half of our friendship, but we have a kind of friendship where he can call me out on things that I need to be called out on because he cares for me. I compare him to be the parent that sets the rules and ticks us off when we’re teenagers, but thankful for those same rules they set in place when we’re 25 and can appreciate that it was out of love and wanting what was best. So when he asked about Warped Tour and what I had been up to, he was very quick to point out that I was a contributor to those mindless conversations. That I wasn’t taking the extra steps to learn things about people outside of those on my bus. That I was resorting to old habits to make me feel better but that I knew weren’t beneficial for me. He was doing everything a friend who intentionally knows and cares for someone should have done.

We wanted something to change. Jason, Jered, and I got together and talked about getting people together at 8 o’clock every night for the last week of tour to have time to unpack things from the summer, share what was our mind, and ultimately create a space for people to move away from the mindless conversations and move toward honesty. A place to talk about the great times the tour brought, while acknowledging the temptations and struggles we never seem to escape from, and deciding that we didn’t want to go through another two month tour without communities where we support each others’ positive actions.

The first night there were eight of us. The second, ten. It was refreshing to get away from the party for an hour, even if we were going to get thrown right back into it when we broke off for the rest of the night. The third night we gathered, Jered and I were setting up chairs and we put out 12. We joked that we were getting ahead of ourselves. Over the next hour and a half the sound of chairs being moved around and a circle widening could be heard over our words. Over thirty people showed up that night. There weren’t any flyers or announcements about what we were doing, only word of mouth.

The fourth night we meet in a small building. We set up chairs along the wall and every seat filled up. There were even people sitting on the floor in the middle of everyone. Seeing something grow to what it had become in a short amount of time really showed how much everyone needed something different. We all did. A new place to go. A place that welcomed our mess.

For me, finding that place, whether it was with eight or thirty other people, where I could share the things I was dealing with, and hear about what others were dealing with during those two months on tour, was incredible. The feeling of knowing I wasn’t the only one struggling with the thoughts that live in my mind helped me breathe without a weight on my chest for the first time in a while. I think that’s what we all need to strive for with one another.

We are surrounded by people. We have this chance to have a community, big or small, to “go there” with. The thing is, we have to take the risk of being honest and being known. We have to find that place inside us where we’re ready to challenge ourselves and grow. We have to be willing to know that sometimes someone won’t show up.  Caring about and loving others takes risk and probably more than we have in us most of the time. But I think the more we put out there, we’ll have something returned greater than we could have imagined.

This year, I left Warped and people that I miss after only being away from them for four days. This year, I left Warped and my bottom right bunk on bus 40 that I called my home for four weeks with eleven other people and a few extra riders here and there. This year, I left Warped with phone numbers and friends on Facebook. I left with great conversations, summer crushes, and incredible memories from around the country. This year, I left Warped with a community that challenged me to grow and be there for someone else. This year, Warped left me completely grateful for everyone I met on the tour, but especially every single one of our supporters who stopped by the booth to say hello, buy a shirt, or talk about what TWLOHA means to them.

You guys were constant refueling for long, hot, exhausting days. Jason and I are truly thankful for being able to share this summer with all of you and we hope to see you again next year.

All the best,
Chris

Comments (8) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

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Hi Guys. 

i hope this finds you well, enjoying your Saturday night or Sunday morning or wherever this finds you. i am on an airplane, flying from New York City to Portland - somewhere over the middle states at the moment - headed to Portland for the last stop of this summer's Vans Warped Tour. i'm excited to see Chris and Jason from our team, Alex and Ivory from Invisible Children, Bryce and The Rocket Summer guys. Excited to meet The Summer Set as well. Our team has spent the last eight weeks living and travelling with these folks, setting up and tearing down each day, finding shade under tents and hope in favorite songs, surprised along the way by stories and moments and conversations. We are more than grateful to Kevin, Sarah and Kate who run Warped Tour and allow TWLOHA to be part of it. This is our fourth summer and it's truly become one of our favorite things, a vehicle that allows us to connect with thousands of music-loving young people across the USA and Canada for two months each year. We are fans of music and our message of hope and help is one for people, and so we keep coming back. 

That's all i'm going to say about Warped for now. i've asked Chris and Jason to share more, to take you into their world, tell some stories and paint some pictures...

On a different note...

My friend Jon, in addition to being my friend, is one of my heroes. Jon is the sort of person who stops to talk to homeless people. He is the one who said to me that people get stuck in moments and he is also the one who told me, in a difficult season, "Hope is not a myth." Though Jon and i live in the same city, i had not seen him in months. This was my fault. We met for coffee yesterday morning and the conversation was deeply personal and meaningful for me. i shared some things that were hard to share, talked about feeling lost in my story. i don't know why but i expected my words to be met with disappointment and judgement - shame has a way of telling us we deserve those things. Instead, and this happened several times at meals with friends this week, i was met with grace and compassion and kindness, people saying i could call them in the middle of the night and people saying we should hang out again soon. 

Anyway, near the end of my conversation with Jon, he asked if i had read the book Life After God by Douglas Coupland. When i said no, Jon stood up instantly, walked out of the coffee shop and straight to a book store a few blocks away. 

i finished the book just now, started it yesterday and finished it today (i am never that guy. That said, it's worth noting that the book is short and has a lot of pictures). i'm writing all of this to tell you that it was great, that it put words to things i've been feeling recently, questions i'd been afraid to ask and things i'd been afraid to say. The book is fiction and, for me, it was a book about the human condition, which is to say it is a book about the feelings, realities, miracles and questions that we all experience as people living life on this planet, getting older over time, reflecting on our stories. The book is painful at times. The book is also beautiful. The storyteller's voice reminded me of Charlie from The Perks of Being a Wallflower, if Charlie were to tell us another story years down the road. The writing is honest and raw. i found it full of truth.

i want to share a couple quotes from Life After God:

"When you’re young, you always feel that life hasn’t yet begun — that “life” is always scheduled to begin next week, next month, next year, after the holidays — whenever. But then suddenly you’re old and the scheduled life didn’t arrive. You find yourself asking, ‘Well then, exactly what was it I was having — that interlude — the scrambly madness — all that time I had before?’

"I realized a capacity for not feeling lonely carried a very real price, which was the threat of feeling nothing at all."

"A need burns inside us to share with others what we are feeling. Beyond a certain age, sincerity ceases to feel pornographic. It is though the coolness that marked our youth is itself a retrovirus that can only leave you feeling empty."

Peace to you tonight, from this airplane headed west.
jamie

PS: i hope the book finds you like a friend. Also, i hope you find some people and i hope you let them know you. It's very important. The fear is a lie. It will be worth it in the end.

PS2: If you're at Warped Tour in Oregon tomorrow, do say hello. 

Comments (12) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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Cory Chiasson, a former TWLOHA intern, recently joined Chad Moses from our team on a trip to Australia. The two participated in a tour of secondary schools in and around Melbourne, bringing our message and mission to young people there. Below, Cory shares a bit about his experience. We hope you enjoy his words.

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As I write this, I realize the opportunity I have. I could slide open the translucent blinds to my left, and stare into the wonder that is Los Angeles. Mind you, it’s only Century Boulevard, representing major hotels, airport shuttles and an excessive amount of advertising for car parks. But this is beside the point. The point is, I have the ability to choose. I can choose to go explore or I can stay inside this decorated (and well air-conditioned) hotel room.

I just returned from the beautiful state of Victoria, Australia where Chad and I joined up with my friend Joel and a diligent crew from Gravity Tour.  We had the honor of adventuring across Australia, bringing a message of hope and a reminder of the importance of one’s own personal journey to schools in Melbourne and the surrounding areas. 

It was quite the experience, going to these different schools, both private and public, bringing up the taboo issues that TWLOHA deals with on a daily basis.  The beautiful thing about it all was how well we were received by the teachers and the students who attended our workshops and presentations. Topics of addiction, depression, self-injury and suicide are definitely not in the list of Top Ten things spoken about in campus halls. And you certainly won’t find them linked in the trending topics on your Twitter homepage. You’d be lucky if you heard them discussed on the evening news or Wake Up America. (Do you guys have that? Sorry. I live in an igloo up in Canada.)

At each stop on this tour, Chad asked the students to close their eyes and raise their hands if they knew someone or if they themselves had struggled with at least one of these issues. And at every stop nearly everyone raised their hand to acknowledge that they did indeed know someone. When they opened their eyes, they realized how strikingly similar we all are. Chad then asked them to raise their hands if they had conversed with someone within the last week about one of these issues. It was heartbreaking to see the few hands that went up for that question.  It proved how quiet we find ourselves when these issues come up.

This past week I started reading this Italian author named Dante’s book, The Divine Comedy. Well, I say that loosely. I’ve gotten about four pages into the intro, which was written by a fellow named John Ciardi. He said something that caught my eye, and I’d like to quote him here:

“The true mark of any writer is in the choices he makes. Having written three words, he must choose a fourth. Having written four, he must choose a fifth. Nothing happens into a good poem; everything must be chosen into it.”

We are the writers, the authors, and the poets of our own story. We have the choice to choose. We can be a people who wish for better things, who hope that our story will be written only by the stars, or we can wake up, dream awake and live out what we deserve to be.

We have to choose to live.

We have to choose to ask for help when we reach the end of ourselves.

You deserve to write that fifth word, even the sixth. Once you write the first six, maybe the following words, the words that define your life and who you will become, may not be so hard to write.

You deserve to be given the chance to choose. 

You deserve the chance to share.  When you choose to share, you may just find something magical start to happen in your heart.

Much love to all of you,

Cory

Comments (10) | Posted in General by Kaitlyn Suveg

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THIS FRIDAY NIGHT!! YOU'RE INVITED!!

The Buried Life (on MTV) is a show about four guys living their dreams, doing all the things they want to do before they die. Well, that's half the show. The other half is them helping other people realize their dreams.

They recently heard from a girl named Lexie. Lexie is 22 years old and she lives in Rochester, Minnesota. She is a TWLOHA supporter and her dream is to create a night that points to hope and help in her hometown. Lexie knows what it is to struggle with depression and self-injury and she wants other people who live with these issues to know they're not alone. 

Comments (21) | Posted in General, Music by jamie tworkowski

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by Denny Kolsch - TWLOHA UChapters Director

This fall will be the one-year anniversary of TWLOHA UChapters, a program designed for college students inspired to bring the mission and vision of To Write Love on Her Arms to campuses across the US and Canada (for now). It began as an idea a year and a half ago. Today, the program is 27 chapters strong, from Florida to Ontario with another 16 in the process of launching. The vision for UChapters is to provide students a way to become more active in supporting and educating people about the issues of depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. This means speaking honestly and addressing stigmas, finding help for those seeking it, being a voice of hope where there is none, and choosing community and relationship over isolation.

 

The goal for the coming year is to head further west with UChapters (although we are still welcoming the eastern parts of North America). I'm in Omaha right now for our MOVE Community Conference and the goal is to train and prepare students to become official TWLOHA UChapter leaders. It will happen again at MOVE Portland in September and then MOVE Southern California in October.

 

Over the past few months, we've had a productive time working alongside our summer interns preparing for the fall semester. Currently, three of our six interns are representing their home chapters: TWLOHA-Virginia Commonwealth University and TWLOHA-Oklahoma State University. They have done an outstanding job in maintaining and developing the UChapter program and we are so thankful for them.

 

The ultimate purpose in all of the travel, meetings, evaluations, writing emails, etc. is for TWLOHA's message of hope and help to reach more students this year.  We know there is a need on campus. And we are trying our best to meet that need. Join us.

 

With Hope,

Denny

UChapter Director

Comments (0) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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My friend Steven lives in Los Angeles. He lives with his wife Danielle and their adorable baby boy Aiden. 

They chose Los Angeles and they remain in Los Angeles because there are songs inside of Steven. They stay also because of the people around them who not only believe in those songs, they know the cost and weight and stories of the songs.

They live in a humble apartment that though close enough in miles, is far from Malibu and Mulholland. They have made it a home, made with things that can't be measured in square feet. It has been my privilege to get to know them over the last couple years, to learn their stories and to be loved by them. When i spend time with Steven and Danielle, i am certain that i am loved beyond anything that i could ever explain or earn or deserve. i am certain also that my friends are living a sacred story worthy of love songs and fight songs, a story rich with victory, defeat, sadness, forgiveness, laughter, depression, redemption, passion, pain and hope. 

"Ring the Bells" is the title track on an EP that came out today. The band is called SATELLITE and my friend Steven is the singer. The song is a love song and a fight song and it is perhaps also a prayer. It is urgent and heavy and beautiful and powerful and i hope it finds you like a friend. i believe it because i 

have seen my friend Steven talk about his wife and son without blinking. 

You can listen to "Ring the Bells" at 

www.satellite-music.com 

You can buy it on iTunes HERE. 

The lyrics are below. 

Steven will be joining me, performing solo acoustic, 

at Alma College in Michigan 

on September 23.

Peace to you tonight.

jamie

Find the words that make it right again

Comments (32) | Posted in Music by jamie tworkowski

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i went for the upside down buildings and the special effects. These things will blow your mind and win awards but they are not the reasons you should go. You should go for the humanity of the film. You should go because you will relate to the people stuck in moments, the people living with ghosts, people trying to get home. You should go to be reminded that our lives are also stories and every good story is about someone fighting a battle and there are no enemies greater than the ones called guilt and regret, pain and shame. The movie serves as a reminder that these enemies unchecked will haunt and hunt you always. Thankfully, the movie also serves as reminder that people need other people, that our stories and our battles and our dreams, these things are meant to be shared. 

i went for what i saw in the previews, fantastic things pushing and falling and exploding around the characters. i left thinking about the things that push and move in me, my ghosts and wars and dreams. The movie suggests that we are most alive and most awake when we are dreaming. And while a case could be made that it is speaking to the dreaming that occurs when we’re asleep, perhaps it’s true or even more true of the dreams we dream awake. 

Inception suggests that there is much at stake; our hearts and our children and the air in our lungs. i am 30 years old. It doesn’t feel old but some days it sounds old when i say or see it. It’s easy to buy into the idea that “dreaming” is a silly word for children, that “battle” means the military and that ghosts are not real. Inception felt like an invitation, a reminder that there might be more to the story, a world we don’t see but one connected to the days we wake to.

There is certainly much at stake. i don’t know your story or your dreams or the things that steal your sleep, but i know they matter. i hope your story is rich with other characters, rich with friends and conversation. i hope you know some people who will carry you and i hope you get to carry them. i hope that there is beauty in your memories and i hope it doesn’t haunt you. And if it does, then i hope there is someone who will talk you through the night and remind you of the promise of the sunrise, that beauty keeps coming, that there are futures worth waiting for and fighting for and that you were made to dream. 

Peace to you tonight.
jamie

Comments (21) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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COME WATCH CHARLIE ST. CLOUD WITH THE TWLOHA TEAM.

We are fans of surprising stories, worlds colliding and things happening in places they would not normally happen. With those things in mind, you are invited to spend the evening of Wednesday, July 28 with the TWLOHA team in Melbourne, Florida. We’re excited to bring you Charlie St. Cloud, the new movie starring Zac Efron, two days before it comes out. Charlie St Cloud speaks to the pain of losing someone you love, the struggle to let go and the miracle of moving forward. Posters for the movie say it well: “Life is for living.” 

Beyond the movie itself, we are excited for this event. Our aim is a unique evening that points to hope, help and community. Movie premieres tend to take place in New York and L.A. We love the idea of bringing a taste of those nights to the place we’re from. i grew up just across the bridge in Melbourne Beach and I’ve been seeing movies at this theater since i was a kid. Beyond our own roots, this is an attempt to celebrate you, to say that you are the star on this night. From 6 - 7:30, there will be photo opportunities, some music and speaking and the chance to meet our team. And just like HEAVY AND LIGHT, we will be highlighting local counseling and treatment resources. Then at 7:30, we will all watch Charlie St. Cloud together. 

Here are the details:

The event is free but space is limited. Reserve your tickets by emailing charlie@twloha.com with the name of each person in your party. An adult must accompany children under 13. Tickets can be picked up the day of the movie. If tickets are not picked up by 7PM, tickets will be given out first come first serve. You will need an ID to pick up tickets.

Premiere Theaters Oaks 10 
1800 W. Hibiscus Blvd. Melbourne, Florida 32901

On behalf of our entire team, we hope to see you soon!!

Peace to you today.
jamie

Comments (18) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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While working with To Write Love on Her Arms I’ve heard some amazing stories. I’ve listened, I’ve shared, and I’ve grown. We say it all the time, “your story is important,” because it is. Your story is one that was written with purpose. It’s still being written. Sometimes we suffer. Sometimes we stumble, we fall, and we can’t see how we can possibly get up. Our hearts break, our world seems to get darker, we feel alone. But through those struggles you learn and you grow. You figure out who you are. Two weeks ago I met an amazing woman on a plane to Cincinnati that helped me see that again.

I woke up at 5am. My alarm went off and I began to slowly get dressed, mumbling under my breath about staying up late and needing more sleep. Whitney, Narika and I were heading to a festival in Pennsylvania and were in for a long day. Airport security lines stretched out into the atrium, children were crying, a whole family even jumped ahead of a line of people who had been waiting for awhile (us included). A crowded tram ride, a long walk to the terminal, and a quick breakfast later I was situated in my seat on the plane.

Because my ticket had been booked after Whitney’s and Narika’s my seat was a few rows ahead of them. I settled into seat 19E, a center seat between a mother of two spunky girls across the aisle and a woman about my mother’s age with a warm smile and a People magazine beside the window, seat 19F.

“You’ve got to let me know if that’s a good read,” I said with a smile, pointing at the front cover of the magazine. “I couldn’t decide if I wanted it or not.” She laughed and offered to let me have it once the flight was over. She wouldn’t need it for her connecting flight because she was certain she’d finish before this flight was through. We chatted for a moment and I learned she was on her way to Montreal to see her mother, though she was living in Florida just down the coast from my sleepy little town of Cocoa.

The plane began to rumble down the runway and I popped in my headphones and attempted to catch a few moments of rest before the long day ahead of me officially began.

The chime signaling that it was time to turn off portable electronic devices pulled me from my drowsy daze. The lady beside me was tapping her arm to the beat of the music in her own headphones as she flipped through her magazine. As I began to put away my iPod she began to do the same.

“So,” she said, almost hesitantly, looking for a conversation, but unsure of my willingness to participate, “why are you going to Cincinnati?” I began to explain to her about To Write Love on Her Arms and our participation in the festival. Her eyes got wide as I talked about the need for conversations to start and for people to know they are not alone, that their stories are important. She told me that she works in education and feels like so many of her students struggle with the same issues I had just mentioned.

“It’s so important,” she said. “I’m glad to have grown up in the 60’s! It was a lot less stressful, though my husband may not agree.” Seeing my confusion she began to tell me about how her husband and his five best friends enlisted in the army together straight out of high school and were deployed to Vietnam. She didn’t say how long it took, but within weeks of each other, each of her husband’s best friends were killed in the war. He was even shot down in a helicopter. “He lives with so much guilt and sadness. He doesn’t understand why he lived and they didn’t!” You could see how much she loved her husband as she spoke about him. Her eyes hurt for him, yet she smiled.

“He’s had a good life! He lived! We got married young. We had three children.” My frustrations from the morning seemed to disappear as I listened to this woman weave her story for me. “I know we’re meant for so much, especially after 9/11. I was in the first tower, you know.”

She went on to tell me about her morning on September 11, 2001, a morning where she decided to leave her desk on the 91st floor because she was hungry. She chatted with co-workers as she made her way to the elevator and ultimately ended up in the concourse below the streets of New York buying breakfast. It was then that the first plane hit, shaking the walls of the tower and causing a great commotion. The plane crashed into the building killing everyone on board as well as many of this woman’s co-workers, the co-workers she had just wished a good morning to. The fear and panic consumed the building and she quickly escaped and watched from six blocks away as the tower fell.

2,995 people died in the attacks on America on September 11, 2001.

2,995 people were lost, their families left behind, their stories ended too soon.

She looked at me with a concrete assurance, “I’m not afraid of anything anymore. I don’t care about death. I faced death. My husband faced death. We’re alive and now it’s about living life and being happy.” Her words seemed to be like cold water rushing through my body. Goosebumps filled my arms and tears came to my eyes. This woman. This beautiful stranger sat beside me with a rare confidence about life. She shouldn’t be alive, but she is. She is! Her heart is beating and her lungs are breathing fresh air and she is alive! She began to describe how she doesn’t take for granted the little things anymore, “a small child’s giggle, a sunrise on the beach, spending time driving around and experiencing new things. Those are the moments you cherish no matter how small.”

I didn’t know that getting onto that plane would change me. I didn’t know that the smiling woman reading a magazine would create a new sense of hope in my life. She revealed truths to me that I had forgotten, truths that rejuvenated me and gave me peace. She had lived, struggled, felt pain and fear. But through those struggles, through that pain, she was given hope. Switchfoot says that every breath is a second chance. This woman embraced that truth. She ran with it. As I got off the plane with her I thanked her for sharing her story with me. I let her know how much it touched me. She just smiled and told me to have a good trip to Pennsylvania and then she was gone, lost in a sea of travelers looking for their connecting flights.To the lady in 19F – thank you so much for sharing your life with me. Thank you for reminding me to embrace life and live. Your story is so important and meaningful.

By: Holly Hallum

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A special note about Holly:

Holly was an intern here with us this past fall. After her internship, she stayed on with us part-time, helping Denny run the UChapters program, working as the Intern RA and investing herself as a member of our community here in Cocoa. We’re excited to share that as of yesterday, Holly joined our team full-time.

Let her know how much her words mean to you, and join us in celebrating her today!

Comments (20) | Posted in General by Kaitlyn Suveg

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Counselors Aaron and Michelle Moore have been part of the TWLOHA story since 2006, providing training to TWLOHA staff and interns and teaching at MOVE Community Conferences. They have spoken at HEAVY AND LIGHT the last two years and Aaron often joins Jamie on the road, bringing a counselor's perspective to TWLOHA events on college campuses. 

Comments (0) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

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