I grew up in a small, rural and coastal town in Massachusetts. My family lived close enough to the city to take a trip whenever we wanted too, yet our surroundings would make us feel and think otherwise. Our closest neighbors were the beach and the gang of farm animals that we could hear next door every morning as they all woke up for each new day. I liked to adventure and learn, but as long as it was close to home. I wanted to keep learning as much as I could about my surroundings, as long as I didn’t have to let go of my mom’s hand. It is safe to say that living in such a small town and never leaving home had created a kid who had become very ethnocentric. I knew plenty about where I grew up, but I couldn’t imagine that a world outside of mine even existed.

This attitude continued until my senior year of college where I made the commute to a local state school only thirty minutes away. It wasn’t until my last semester of college that all of this changed. I decided to take a chance and applied for an internship with a cause that I felt passionate about, TWLOHA. If I am being completely honest, I will tell you that there is no way I ever saw myself getting accepted as an intern, let alone moving to Florida to participate. Within the month, I had put my final semester of college on hold and was driving down to Florida with most of my belongings to join 5 other new interns who were taking on the same new adventure. I made the choice to move despite what some people around me thought. I moved because I was ready to learn more, ready to learn and work for something I felt passionate about.

My internship ended in August when I came home in preparation for my last semester of college. Over the course of my internship, I had the privilege of standing behind the TWLOHA booth: meeting, talking and learning from so many people on Warped Tour every day. Through everyone we met on the road and my fellow interns, I learned so much about people all over: listening to their stories, their adventures, passions and desires. It made taking a chance, stepping out of my comfort zone and moving so far away from home well worthwhile. In December, I finished up school and got the invitation to go to Australia with TWLOHA for Soundwave. It was only a year ago that I decided to take a chance a step out of my comfort zone and venture away from home, now I was headed to another country for the first time!

Chris and I just returned from the adventure of a lifetime in Australia, on Soundwave Festival. Chris had gone to Australia last year with TWLOHA, but this was my first journey to the land down under. Soundwave Travels across the large continent in 2 weeks, with five stops in five major cities: Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne, Adelaide, and Perth. After landing in Brisbane, I found myself teeming with excitement. I had a hard time sleeping most of our trip; some say it was jetlag, but I disagree. I was so excited to meet so many people from all over and to see a new and beautiful country that I couldn’t find any time to sleep. Excitement and fresh faces at the booth were my fuel for each and every day where sleep was lacking.

Each and every city of our trip had so many new people to learn from and great things to experience. In Sydney, Chris and I got to lay under the stars at the foot of The Opera House and Harbor Bridge with friends. We walked around Melbourne and saw a city with amazing architecture and beautiful culture. In Perth, we took the tourist drive up the coast that ended with a dip in the ocean and a breathtaking sunset over Trigg Beach. We even got to plan some tourist activities that involved koalas, kangaroos, vegemite and a cool looking currency.

By far, the highlight of my trip and adventure in Australia was meeting so many new people and making new friends every day. Everyone at the booth, on the road, and at the airport, I owe my experience to you. Thank you for bringing us to Australia this year. This is for everyone that stopped by the booth to say hello, to everyone that showed curiosity or support for TWLOHA’s message, and for those who came simply to talk. Thank you to all of my friendly flight neighbors who wanted to share conversation, stories and friendship. Thanks for showing me a hospitable and beautiful culture and country. Thank you for my adventure, being my teacher and allowing me to learn. It has been a powerful trip, and I owe it all to you. Thank you for making me feel at home, even though home was half the world away.

Thank you again to everyone in Australia, from Warped and on the road that I have met that have made me feel like I am at home, even when home is so far away. I cant wait to see you all again.

See you so soon,
Jason

Comments (5) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

In honor of National Eating Disorders Awareness week, we wanted to share a beautiful story written by a former TWLOHA intern, Stephanie Koszalka. Please read it and enjoy remembering that your life and your story are powerful. No self-determined imperfection can change that.

---

Dear Body,

I’ve always let some imperfection or another stand in the way of me seeing what you truly are, that you are beautiful. You are a divine creation housing the most valuable thing known to the universe, my soul. I’m beginning to realize that a person’s soul has the capacity to radiate light that transcends all the characteristics that I have been conditioned to believe are flaws.

You naturally tell a story. Your blue-green veins are like a map to where your heart has been and where it is going. The curve of your waist and the shape of your cheekbones tell a tale of heritage and ethnicity. There are crayon markings on the wall somewhere that has measured your height throughout the years. Always returning to the same spot to see how you’ve changed.

Your eyes bare resemblance to nature. They are a deep forest green with golden yellow sunflower flecks. Your faded birthmark, once beet red, brought me shame because all I wanted was to conform. It now reminds me of how unique you are and all I want is to be different.

Your body begins as a story but continues with new chapters throughout your life. Some are chapters of sadness and pain, others of joy, and all of growth. Each chapter a blank canvas meant to be painted by our experiences. Photos are memories but so are our bodies in a way that’s more real, no posing and no fakeness.

I’m realizing these things now, but I’m so sorry that I didn’t realize them before. I’ve done everything I could to destroy the canvas and deface and burn the pages of different chapters.

I’ve waged war on you before; used razor blades to feel and drugs to numb. I’ve used caffeine to stay awake and alcohol to sleep. Abusing the side effects of my prescription drugs like loss of appetite, to deliberately starve myself into making you skinnier.  I’ve spent far too much time on a scale that merely weighs your effect on gravity, not the depth of your beauty. I wanted you to look like one of those girls in the magazines.

But in the ruins there is still a canvas. There is still beauty in your brokenness. The faded scars show healing reminding me that even though I’ve been in dark places, I’ve survived and learned and become stronger.

Although the war is over, the world still takes its toll. You have calluses on your hands from me writing too much and concentrating too hard. Yet the words are beautiful and the studying is worth it. You have the ache when it rains from broken bones, and stretch marks from growing too fast. You have burns from jobs and scars from falls. But those experiences were worth it.  

Dear body, as I grow older I worry about how you will age. Together we gain wisdom and wrinkles, after being young and beautiful and naïve. The wisdom tells us that the beauty doesn’t subside, it only changes, and more of it comes from within.  So I won’t worry when my hair doesn’t look just right, or when I do something stupidly funny and emerge with another scar because you are telling a story. And what would I be without my story and my past?                     

Comments (95) | Posted in General by Kaitlyn Suveg

Hello from Australia!

Jason and I landed in Brisbane last week to get ready for our trip around Australia on Soundwave. This is my second year doing the festivals for TWLOHA and Jason's first, which was great for two reasons. One, I have been here before and was excited to share some of the things I remember with him. And two, I knew what was going through his head. The anticipation of coming to a new continent not knowing what to expect except the beauty that we've been fed through television and movies over the years.

The trip over was as smooth as it could have been. There were no delays or bags lost and we had great company in a sweet lady named Sonia beside us. As I thought back to last year, I remembered feeling humbled and honored to experience some of these cities just once in my lifetime. Living in America, in a time zone 14 hours away, you carry this mysterious wonder about what this giant island could be like, and to have some of those thoughts and questions answered is such an amazing feeling. I flew home last year processing every bit of the trip, conversations and random unexpected things that happened (like dipping my toes in the Indian Ocean). Returning this year, walking through and driving around the cities, I realized how much more there was to experience of this country. There is so much more than just it's beauty, which is overwhelming in itself.

Being in Brisbane and Sydney for the first two dates of Soundwave reminded us of this. We've had great interactions with everyone here, spreading the ideas of hope and help and community that a lot of you are familiar with hearing us talk about. Even seeing the faces of people we met last year and having conversations with them, noticing a difference in their step and in their tone of voice, hearing how much their lives have changed in just one year, was such a warm welcome for us. Words and stories like these bring the feeling that our presence last year was not just for selling t-shirts, but for a bigger picture. The ideas that we try to communicate every day in the work we do.

Thank you for bringing us back. Really, thank you. You guys are the ones who used your voices over the past four years to say that these issues matter. That these struggles are real. That people aren't discussing them enough. We were invited here because the people putting together Soundwave believe in our message and what we're trying to do, and see the impact it has on this community that we're all a part of. You have allowed our message to reach so many around the world, and being here reminds me of that. Melbourne, Adelaide, and Perth - we can't wait to see you again.

All the best,
Chris

Comments (10) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hey guys.

I want to extend an official invitation for you to join us this March 12 – 13, 2010 in Cocoa Beach, Florida for a MOVE Community Conference.

Odds are that if you read these blogs regularly, you probably have an idea about these conferences. If you’re new MOVE, you can find more information here:

www.twloha.com/move/move-conference

It’s my hope that you would share about this conference with someone who cares about saving lives and walking alongside those in places of pain, but who hasn’t read our blog. Call them up, email them or simply sit them down next to you. Share our desires to see community leaders, counselors, teachers, mentors, pastors and parents become more equipped in discussing issues of community, brokenness and pain, addiction, depression and anxiety, self-harm, eating disorders and suicide where they live. Share why you care too.

This month has been a heavy one for many of us on staff. That’s an awkward statement to make without any follow-up, but I tell you that to remind you that we understand the difficulty that surrounds engaging others in conversations about these topics... We too are invested in the lives of our family members, our friends (who feel like family) and our community. We hurt when others settle into a dark place, and we feel lighter when people move forward in finding help just like you do.

What encourages me the most and makes me feel most privileged in my job right now is that the topics we address as an organization, and the bigger picture, this “movement” we speak so highly of, is something universal.

We have a big year ahead of us. I hope that I can meet you at a MOVE conference and hear why you’re passionate about continuing to speak about these issues in your community. Why do you want to MOVE?

Love.
Kaitlyn
Director of MOVE Community Conferences

Comments (12) | Posted in General by Kaitlyn Suveg

For only 10 days we're auctioning off a limited-edition HEAVY AND LIGHT collection filled with momentos and merchandise from the night.

All bundles contain the following items:

- 1 HEAVY AND LIGHT info card
- 1 HEAVY AND LIGHT program
- 1 HEAVY AND LIGHT shirt
- 1 8x10 HEAVY AND LIGHT flyer
- 1 18x24 HEAVY AND LIGHT screen printed poster autographed by the artists.

These eight unique bundles are only available through eBay's Giving Works. To place your bid, create an account on eBay and go to the Official To Write Love on Her Arms profile. Select an auction, and start bidding!  Auctions will run from February 15th to February 25th.

Comments (2) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

You're alive and you matter and this pink holiday doesn't get to name you.

Comments (11) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

We would like you to join us for the third annual Valentine's Day Live Chat. You'll need to go to AbsolutePunk.net this Sunday night (2/14) at 8pm EST. If you want to participate in the chat, you'll need to create an account. It's easy and it's free.

Comments (34) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Our Street Team members have been invited to write letters of encouragement for people currently involved in residential treatment programs. We plan on sending these letters to people seeking help, to remind them that their fight is worth the effort. It has been our experience that sometimes people in these programs are unable to access the Internet, have visitors or receive mail on a regular basis. These notes are meant to meet people where they’re at in their recovery, and provide hope for them along the way.

Below is a letter we recently received from a member of our Street Team for this purpose. We think it’s wonderful, and wanted to share it with you guys too. If you would like to help write letters of encouragement, head over to our Street Team page on Fancorps to sign up today.

----

My mom was always the strong one. The one who always knew what to do and what to say. A child needs someone to look up to, and naturally most kids look up to their mother or father. Whether they have a good or bad influence on them, it's just something children do. I consider myself a grownup now, but in the midst of all the searching and wondering and mystery that life offers, I'm still a child. A child seeking approval, and acknowledgment, and love.

I started writing songs when I was 14. Most of it was crap but it's just those steps you have to take to get where you want to be. I don't know what drove me to actually keep writing during the first two years because nobody heard them except for two of my siblings (and they are both younger so of course they thought that everything I did was cool). When I was 16 I thought that I wrote a half-decent song and I decided to play it in front of my mom. I remember it very well. I asked her if she wanted to hear something, I wrote, and I sat down in the hallway while she was doing her hair in front of the mirror while she got ready for work. I started playing on my guitar and singing. I will never forget the way she looked at me, the way she listened. In that moment I knew that she saw something in me. I didn't know what it was but I felt that it was something significant. She believed in me.

As we wander through this life, in whatever we do, we are always looking for approval. In school or at our jobs we need to know that what we do is good. That it matters. That we matter. The greatest fear as human beings is to be unloved.

I don't think that my mom didn't believe in me before she heard my song. I bet she did. I know she always loved me and always will. Maybe the reason why this moment was so significant to me was because she let me know that she believed in me. She encouraged me to sing my song in front of other people. When I said that I don't think it was good enough, when I didn't believe in myself, she did.

Sometimes we keep searching. We long for someone who believes in us other than our parents. We’ve all heard that “sometimes you can't make it on your own,” and most of the time we're just not brave enough to ask for help. We are ashamed because we're in need of something other than what we have on our own.

I'm a little older now and I realized that my mother is also just a person in need. I wanted to be a giver more than a taker. But there's a time for both. There are times we're the ones who are asked to give and other times we take. We may be surprised in how easy it is to give to others, even when we feel like we're the ones in need.

What if all someone needed from us was to share pieces of ourselves? To share our pain, our fears, our dreams, our stories. If we believe that other people matter and we tell them that they do, then we have to also believe that there are moments we will have to accept it when we feel like we can’t.

We may just find ourselves respond by saying, “If you believe I can, then I think I can.”

Esther
23-year-old from Germany
member of the TWLOHA Street Team

Comments (31) | Posted in General by Kaitlyn Suveg

This past October we had the pleasure of joining the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention’s Cocoa Beach chapter for an Out of the Darkness walk in our area. This past Saturday, we were able to join them a second time, and our entire team went out. We’ve truly enjoyed growing closer with the AFSP this year. We value them as an organization, and believe strongly in their vision.

Below you’ll find the voice of Erin, one of our spring interns. We’ve invited her to share her perspective from the walk in Orlando. Enjoy her words, as we hope they find you well tonight.

Comments (11) | Posted in General by Kaitlyn Suveg

Hi guys,

January was an exciting month for our team and our partners at the Kristin Brooks Hope Center as we continued working to launch IMAlive. Once launched, IMAlive will be a live online crisis network with 100% of its staff and volunteers trained and certified in crisis intervention, making it the first of its kind. With your help and your votes, we were able to raise $100,000 for IMAlive through the Chase Community Giving contest.

We wanted to update you about where we are now with the project.

Currently, we are in the beta testing phase for the online training and certification program developed in partnership between the Kristin Brooks Hope Center and the QPR Institute, both leaders in suicide prevention. The program is completed entirely through the Internet and is tailored to train volunteers to work online in crisis intervention. We have invited 120 volunteers to also complete the training in the next phase.

Over the past few days, our staff and interns have completed over 2/3 of the program, and are currently completing the two outside readings Suicide: The Forever Decision and Counseling Suicidal People: A Therapy of Hope by Dr. Paul Quinnett.  We are learning how to provide emotional support for people in crisis and to evaluate suicide risk. To be honest, many of us entered the training excited to learn more but were a bit nervous about our ability to help people in crisis because we are not, nor claim to be, trained mental health professionals. But as we continue to walk through the training, we are becoming more empowered and feel confident in our ability to help people survive perhaps the darkest hour of their lives. The training has also taught us that even after we learn techniques and methods, the most important thing we can offer the people we will respond to is our heart and the message that their story and their life matters.

Dr. Paul Quinnett reminds us of this as he teaches: “Your willingness to listen and to be empathetic sends a message of hope, and the restoration of hope is one of the key elements in reducing immediate suicide risk."

If you want more information about IMAlive, check out our site and please consider becoming a volunteer responder.

With Hope,
Lindsay
Intern Program Director & IMAlive Project Manager

Comments (17) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood