Comments (16) | Posted in Music by jamie tworkowski

i went for the upside down buildings and the special effects. These things will blow your mind and win awards but they are not the reasons you should go. You should go for the humanity of the film. You should go because you will relate to the people stuck in moments, the people living with ghosts, people trying to get home. You should go to be reminded that our lives are also stories and every good story is about someone fighting a battle and there are no enemies greater than the ones called guilt and regret, pain and shame. The movie serves as a reminder that these enemies unchecked will haunt and hunt you always. Thankfully, the movie also serves as reminder that people need other people, that our stories and our battles and our dreams, these things are meant to be shared. 

i went for what i saw in the previews, fantastic things pushing and falling and exploding around the characters. i left thinking about the things that push and move in me, my ghosts and wars and dreams. The movie suggests that we are most alive and most awake when we are dreaming. And while a case could be made that it is speaking to the dreaming that occurs when we’re asleep, perhaps it’s true or even more true of the dreams we dream awake. 

Inception suggests that there is much at stake; our hearts and our children and the air in our lungs. i am 30 years old. It doesn’t feel old but some days it sounds old when i say or see it. It’s easy to buy into the idea that “dreaming” is a silly word for children, that “battle” means the military and that ghosts are not real. Inception felt like an invitation, a reminder that there might be more to the story, a world we don’t see but one connected to the days we wake to.

There is certainly much at stake. i don’t know your story or your dreams or the things that steal your sleep, but i know they matter. i hope your story is rich with other characters, rich with friends and conversation. i hope you know some people who will carry you and i hope you get to carry them. i hope that there is beauty in your memories and i hope it doesn’t haunt you. And if it does, then i hope there is someone who will talk you through the night and remind you of the promise of the sunrise, that beauty keeps coming, that there are futures worth waiting for and fighting for and that you were made to dream. 

Peace to you tonight.
jamie

Comments (18) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

COME WATCH CHARLIE ST. CLOUD WITH THE TWLOHA TEAM.

We are fans of surprising stories, worlds colliding and things happening in places they would not normally happen. With those things in mind, you are invited to spend the evening of Wednesday, July 28 with the TWLOHA team in Melbourne, Florida. We’re excited to bring you Charlie St. Cloud, the new movie starring Zac Efron, two days before it comes out. Charlie St Cloud speaks to the pain of losing someone you love, the struggle to let go and the miracle of moving forward. Posters for the movie say it well: “Life is for living.” 

Beyond the movie itself, we are excited for this event. Our aim is a unique evening that points to hope, help and community. Movie premieres tend to take place in New York and L.A. We love the idea of bringing a taste of those nights to the place we’re from. i grew up just across the bridge in Melbourne Beach and I’ve been seeing movies at this theater since i was a kid. Beyond our own roots, this is an attempt to celebrate you, to say that you are the star on this night. From 6 - 7:30, there will be photo opportunities, some music and speaking and the chance to meet our team. And just like HEAVY AND LIGHT, we will be highlighting local counseling and treatment resources. Then at 7:30, we will all watch Charlie St. Cloud together. 

Here are the details:

The event is free but space is limited. Reserve your tickets by emailing charlie@twloha.com with the name of each person in your party. An adult must accompany children under 13. Tickets can be picked up the day of the movie. If tickets are not picked up by 7PM, tickets will be given out first come first serve. You will need an ID to pick up tickets.

Premiere Theaters Oaks 10 
1800 W. Hibiscus Blvd. Melbourne, Florida 32901

On behalf of our entire team, we hope to see you soon!!

Peace to you today.
jamie

Comments (17) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

While working with To Write Love on Her Arms I’ve heard some amazing stories. I’ve listened, I’ve shared, and I’ve grown. We say it all the time, “your story is important,” because it is. Your story is one that was written with purpose. It’s still being written. Sometimes we suffer. Sometimes we stumble, we fall, and we can’t see how we can possibly get up. Our hearts break, our world seems to get darker, we feel alone. But through those struggles you learn and you grow. You figure out who you are. Two weeks ago I met an amazing woman on a plane to Cincinnati that helped me see that again.

I woke up at 5am. My alarm went off and I began to slowly get dressed, mumbling under my breath about staying up late and needing more sleep. Whitney, Narika and I were heading to a festival in Pennsylvania and were in for a long day. Airport security lines stretched out into the atrium, children were crying, a whole family even jumped ahead of a line of people who had been waiting for awhile (us included). A crowded tram ride, a long walk to the terminal, and a quick breakfast later I was situated in my seat on the plane.

Because my ticket had been booked after Whitney’s and Narika’s my seat was a few rows ahead of them. I settled into seat 19E, a center seat between a mother of two spunky girls across the aisle and a woman about my mother’s age with a warm smile and a People magazine beside the window, seat 19F.

“You’ve got to let me know if that’s a good read,” I said with a smile, pointing at the front cover of the magazine. “I couldn’t decide if I wanted it or not.” She laughed and offered to let me have it once the flight was over. She wouldn’t need it for her connecting flight because she was certain she’d finish before this flight was through. We chatted for a moment and I learned she was on her way to Montreal to see her mother, though she was living in Florida just down the coast from my sleepy little town of Cocoa.

The plane began to rumble down the runway and I popped in my headphones and attempted to catch a few moments of rest before the long day ahead of me officially began.

The chime signaling that it was time to turn off portable electronic devices pulled me from my drowsy daze. The lady beside me was tapping her arm to the beat of the music in her own headphones as she flipped through her magazine. As I began to put away my iPod she began to do the same.

“So,” she said, almost hesitantly, looking for a conversation, but unsure of my willingness to participate, “why are you going to Cincinnati?” I began to explain to her about To Write Love on Her Arms and our participation in the festival. Her eyes got wide as I talked about the need for conversations to start and for people to know they are not alone, that their stories are important. She told me that she works in education and feels like so many of her students struggle with the same issues I had just mentioned.

“It’s so important,” she said. “I’m glad to have grown up in the 60’s! It was a lot less stressful, though my husband may not agree.” Seeing my confusion she began to tell me about how her husband and his five best friends enlisted in the army together straight out of high school and were deployed to Vietnam. She didn’t say how long it took, but within weeks of each other, each of her husband’s best friends were killed in the war. He was even shot down in a helicopter. “He lives with so much guilt and sadness. He doesn’t understand why he lived and they didn’t!” You could see how much she loved her husband as she spoke about him. Her eyes hurt for him, yet she smiled.

“He’s had a good life! He lived! We got married young. We had three children.” My frustrations from the morning seemed to disappear as I listened to this woman weave her story for me. “I know we’re meant for so much, especially after 9/11. I was in the first tower, you know.”

She went on to tell me about her morning on September 11, 2001, a morning where she decided to leave her desk on the 91st floor because she was hungry. She chatted with co-workers as she made her way to the elevator and ultimately ended up in the concourse below the streets of New York buying breakfast. It was then that the first plane hit, shaking the walls of the tower and causing a great commotion. The plane crashed into the building killing everyone on board as well as many of this woman’s co-workers, the co-workers she had just wished a good morning to. The fear and panic consumed the building and she quickly escaped and watched from six blocks away as the tower fell.

2,995 people died in the attacks on America on September 11, 2001.

2,995 people were lost, their families left behind, their stories ended too soon.

She looked at me with a concrete assurance, “I’m not afraid of anything anymore. I don’t care about death. I faced death. My husband faced death. We’re alive and now it’s about living life and being happy.” Her words seemed to be like cold water rushing through my body. Goosebumps filled my arms and tears came to my eyes. This woman. This beautiful stranger sat beside me with a rare confidence about life. She shouldn’t be alive, but she is. She is! Her heart is beating and her lungs are breathing fresh air and she is alive! She began to describe how she doesn’t take for granted the little things anymore, “a small child’s giggle, a sunrise on the beach, spending time driving around and experiencing new things. Those are the moments you cherish no matter how small.”

I didn’t know that getting onto that plane would change me. I didn’t know that the smiling woman reading a magazine would create a new sense of hope in my life. She revealed truths to me that I had forgotten, truths that rejuvenated me and gave me peace. She had lived, struggled, felt pain and fear. But through those struggles, through that pain, she was given hope. Switchfoot says that every breath is a second chance. This woman embraced that truth. She ran with it. As I got off the plane with her I thanked her for sharing her story with me. I let her know how much it touched me. She just smiled and told me to have a good trip to Pennsylvania and then she was gone, lost in a sea of travelers looking for their connecting flights.To the lady in 19F – thank you so much for sharing your life with me. Thank you for reminding me to embrace life and live. Your story is so important and meaningful.

By: Holly Hallum

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A special note about Holly:

Holly was an intern here with us this past fall. After her internship, she stayed on with us part-time, helping Denny run the UChapters program, working as the Intern RA and investing herself as a member of our community here in Cocoa. We’re excited to share that as of yesterday, Holly joined our team full-time.

Let her know how much her words mean to you, and join us in celebrating her today!

Comments (18) | Posted in General by Kaitlyn Suveg

Counselors Aaron and Michelle Moore have been part of the TWLOHA story since 2006, providing training to TWLOHA staff and interns and teaching at MOVE Community Conferences. They have spoken at HEAVY AND LIGHT the last two years and Aaron often joins Jamie on the road, bringing a counselor's perspective to TWLOHA events on college campuses. 

Comments (0) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

IN LOVING MEMORY: NATE "OTEKA" HENN (1985-2010)

It was early Sunday evening when i first heard about the bombings in Uganda. I saw something from CNN on Twitter and instantly thought of my friends at Invisible Children, because Uganda is the focus of their mission. Members of their team live there and others join them throughout the year. I sent a text to my friend Jason Russell. Jason went to Uganda in 2003, one of three friends with cameras hoping to find a story. The story they would find would make it's way to people all over the world. What began as a DVD is now a global movement and a charity working to end the world’s longest running war. 

When I sent the text, I hoped that I was only talking about a place. It was Uganda and so Jason needed to know. A place was bombed, a place my friends know as home even from across the miles. But the place was not the thing that caused the weight. It was the possibility of people. What if this bomb took people? What if it took a friend from my friends?

I woke up yesterday to the awful news that the bombings in Uganda had taken the lives of 74 people and one among them was Nate "Oteka" Henn, a member of the Invisible Children team. Nate was an American living in Uganda. He had fallen in love with the mission of IC, devoting his life to the possibility of peace, volunteering without pay for over a year. 

We have many friends at Invisible Children. We believe deeply in who they are and what they do. Our friends at IC are hurting right now. Nate's friends and family and the people of Uganda are hurting right now. We take this moment to say that they are not alone, that Nate's life mattered, that his story was important and will not be forgotten. 

We hope you'll take a moment to learn more about Nate. He lived in a way that placed others above himself. With that, his life became a gift to many. His family has established the Nate Henn Memorial Fund so that other young people can experience the life Nate lived as a Roadie for Invisible Children. TWLOHA is proud to announce a donation of $1500 to the fund.

TWLOHA exists to invite people to fight for their stories, to move beyond their pain by stepping into hope, help and community.We believe that every life matters. Every life in Uganda, every life in America, every life everywhere. When one suffers, we all suffer. Nate was in Uganda living a picture of this, trying to ease the suffering of others, injecting dignity where it had been lost, waking each day to place his hands against the wounds of a broken world, to try to stop the bleeding.  

It seems Nate knew the thing that some never learn, that we are part of a bigger story, that our lives are gifts to give. May we walk the road he showed us and may we see him on the other side.

In Loving Memory: Nate "Oteka" Henn 

Peace to you today.
jamie

Comments (6) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

Kristin Brooks Hope Center wins $100k for IMAlive.

Back in January, i sat down to write a note of thanks for your incredible support in the initial Chase Community Giving. That contest went down to the wire and your votes pushed us all the way to 3rd place, which meant $100,000 toward IMAlive, the live online crisis network we're working to launch with our partners Kristin Brooks Hope Center and PostSecret.

Now, only six months later, Chase Community Giving has happened once again and you guys were amazing once again. This time, we invited you to support Kristin Brooks Hope Center. Just like January, it came down to the final night. Thanks to your support, KBHC finished in 2nd to win another $100,000 for IMAlive.

The PostSecret community continues to demonstrate generosity and passion beyond words. Frank Warren's Sunday morning "Please Vote" request on PostSecret.com translated to thousands of votes, helping KBHC to climb from 8th all the way to the top.

While we were certainly aiming for that top spot, we want to take a moment to look at the bigger picture. First off, we want to say congratulations to the Harry Potter Alliance. Inspired by the stories of magic and wonder, Harry Potter fans are now working together to make the world a better place.

We also want to congratulate the following organizations that finished in the Top 200 and will be receiving $20,000 for their cause: Music Saves Lives, The Mentoring Project, Pablove Foundation, Surfers Healing and Strange Tree Group. There are many organizations doing important work and meeting needs in creative ways. Beyond the funding, we think it's wonderful that Chase Community Giving is bringing attention to so many significant causes.

The TWLOHA story is one of surprising open doors and you guys have always held the keys. You have taken our message and mission to places we never could have dreamed. Thank you for continuing to believe in hope and help. Thank you for your voices and your votes. Thank you for caring about people.

Peace to you today.
jamie

Comments (6) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

Chloe reflects on Bamboozle Roadshow

“I lost my cousin to suicide three days ago.” - West Palm Beach, FL

“My daughter cuts and I don’t know why.” - Arlington, TX

“I’m schizophrenic and have been suicidal for the past few years, but I have hope." - Houston, TX

“My best friend is going into treatment this week. She’s been going in and out of centers for the past four years. I just want to help her.” - San Antonio, TX

“I’m bipolar and I passed it on to both my children.” - Clarkston, MI

“All I want to do is stop. Everyone is scared but I don’t know what to do.” - Charlotte, NC

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Thank you. I wish there was something deeper or more profound to say to those of you who visited the TWLOHA table and shared your story at The Bamboozle Roadshow this year. But nothing feels like it’s quite enough or conveys how truly grateful my heart is for having met all of you. The comments above are just a few of the many stories I was fortunate enough to hear during the six-week tour.

The main reason we go on the road so much is to meet people where they are – to hear their hearts, and to present them with the idea, sometimes new, sometimes not so new, that they don’t have to live their lives alone. One of the biggest honors for me (and I’m comfortable saying this for our team as well) is being someone that a complete stranger trusts enough to share their darkest moments with. It’s beautifully overwhelming to be a person someone feels safe talking to about their struggles after only a brief introduction of names. My hope is that in these exchanges they (and possibly you) feel a bit of freedom from pain, and a sense of understanding. I also hope that you are able to be on the receiving end of conversations like this, to be someone that someone else needs.

I left for this tour with a heavy heart and hoped that the road would make it light again. What I found out was something I already knew. It wasn’t the road that was making things easier, it was people; seeing old friends, making new ones, and meeting all of you. It was sharing TWLOHA and parts of myself with others. “Your story is important.” We say that a lot because it’s true. What you have to say, and what you’ve experienced deserves to be known by others.

I wish for you this summer, and all the days after, that you have someone to share your story with.

With Love,
Chloe

P.S. Thank you to Bamboozle for letting us join your traveling summer camp. Thank you to so many of the artists for being curious about what we do, for wanting to get involved, or for showing continued support. We’re grateful for our friends in Boys Like Girls, Forever The Sickest Kids, Third Eye Blind, LMFAO, The Ready Set, and Cady Groves who all rocked TWLOHA at some point during the tour. And a big thank you to my dear friend Martin of Boys Like Girls for wearing a TWLOHA shirt everyday of the tour and for all of your support.

Comments (9) | Posted in Journal, Merch, Music by Chloe Grabanski

Hey Guys.

Wanted to invite you to check out my new blog on AltPress.com Wasn't sure what to write about but then i picked up a book called The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand last weekend - i'm early in the book but it's really been speaking to me. It put words to some things i've been feeling a while. i don't know about you but i feel like that's what a good book does. Anyway, my blog is inspired by that book. It's about following your heart and doing what you love, no matter what people say.

It's an honor to be invited to write for Alt Press. Their magazine and website mean a lot to a lot of people so this is a chance for us to share the message and mission of TWLOHA with some new folks. i hope you'll check it out. Feel free to leave a comment too, to let them know what you think.  

Peace to you today.
jamie

Comments (7) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

Hello Everyone,

If you can believe it, we are already in our second week of Warped Tour. This summer marks the sixteenth year of Warped and the crew has once again done an outstanding job bringing us a dynamic line-up of bands, vendors and non-profits.  We are so fortunate to be able to set up every day at this festival.

Emily and I are holding down the fort (tent) right now. We've also had some great volunteers, which helps so much. It is so good to see some familiar faces at the festival already. Thank you to you guys who have come up to talk and who support TWLOHA. It fuels us and helps us make it through every day of this tour.

And while we meet so many supporters who believe in our message, we also meet some who are skeptical. Last week, a younger man named Scott came asking about our organization. He walked up to the booth, read our mission statement, and asked, “I can see this (the mission statement on an info card) but I want to know what you really do to help?” After I explained to him what the organization does, he immediately opened up and shared some of his story. Once, in a moment of desperation, he was very close to attempting suicide. The only thing that kept him alive had been his wife coming home. Perfect timing. He is now seeking therapy and professional help.

At the Warped Tour stop in Ventura, all of the security guards were volunteers. And not just any volunteers, but military. A whole battalion had given up their time on a Sunday to make sure that the people at Warped were safe and having a good time. I ended up striking a conversation with one guard named Kevin. Kevin was short and had red hair. He looked young and his face was burnt from the long day. I pointed out his sunburn and we just started chatting from there. I explained the mission of TWLOHA and why we want to be at events like this, and he explained to me how he has suffered from PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder). He has been deployed to Iraq twice, and is now at home seeking help for his PTSD and spending time with his family.

Both of these young men share at least three things in common: they are both military veterans, they have seen the dark places that hurt and are hard to get out of, and both of them are seeking help to lift them out of those places. The reason I share both of these with you is because both of the stories of these young men are so hopeful. They both provide hope and show stories of redemption.

The government has a program called Military One Source for anyone who has served and is struggling that will assist and help pay for help. Both of these men have utilized these programs and found help. If you are struggling and feel like you need some assistance, I hope Kevin and Scott’s stories have given you some encouragement to seek it out.

I want to thank all of you again for coming to the tent to show support or curiosity. And thank you to Scott and Kevin for sharing some personal things. Kevin’s wife is pregnant with their first child, and he finds out soon whether it is a boy or girl.

Good luck Scott and Kevin. You made my day.

 With Hope,
Jason Blades

PS: CLICK HERE to see all upcoming Warped Tour dates. 

Comments (2) | Posted in General, Music by jamie tworkowski

It's funny that i don't remember loving the 4th of July as a kid. Because it's become one of my favorite holidays. And this may sound bad but it's not really about America for me. Don't get me wrong - i love America, i am grateful and proud to live here, grateful for my freedom and aware of it's cost. But if i'm honest, that's not what i think about when i watch the colors explode in the night. i think about wonder and i think about hope. 

i hope for you what i hope for myself. i hope for you the hope to know it. 

Peace to you. 

jamie

Comments (22) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

A couple weeks back, we had the privilege of being part of Sasquatch Festival at the Gorge in George, Washington. It was an incredible event and to say that it happened at a beautiful place would be more than an understatement.

Comments (3) | Posted in General, Music by Chris Youngblood

I grew up throwing dirt clods for sport and listening to Garth Brooks and Vince Gill on cassette tapes. Bare feet and dirt roads.When I was older, four-wheelers and trails through the woods. In high school, I was a part of the self-proclaimed redneck crowd, donned in Carhart coats, socializing around their oversized trucks with lift-kits. I still remember when my dad moved out when I was in second grade into another trailer across town. He had cable, and I was introduced to CMT and music videos. All that is to say, I was raised in the country on country music.

Though my musical tastes are broad, country music emanates this feeling of home. There is this unparalleled community that happens in the country music world. There is a shared history and love of the South and its culture, a fondness for simple pleasures in life, and the sweet twang—all of these things bringing musicians and fans together.

Jess and I share an office, so when she looked up the information about CMA Fest, I was the first to hear about it. My job is mostly administrative and doesn’t require me to go on the road very much, but I knew that if TWLOHA was going to be at CMA Fest I wanted to be there.  Of the fourteen people on staff, Jess, Chris, and I are the only country fans.  Chris is from Georgia, so it’s a part of his soul. Jess is a diehard fan and has adopted a bit of a twang. But we were sure it wouldn’t work, because summer is our busiest season, and TWLOHA has never been involved with the country music world at all.

Jamie and Rich said yes. Surprised but incredibly excited, Jess submitted our application.  The CMA Fest only has three or four nonprofits, a much smaller number than we’re used to so we were unsure whether or not we would get picked. Next thing I know, Chris is packing the back of the Jeep like a jigsaw puzzle while Jess, Emily, and I organize pillows, snacks, and music for the long drive to Nashville.  Although Emily wasn’t a big country fan before the festival, she left singing along to Lady Antebellum and Carrie Underwood (and is still laughing about Blake Shelton’s jokes).

I’ve been back for two weeks and I’m still smiling and singing Zac Brown Band’s “Free” with a majestic hope in my heart. I said the words, “we’re a nonprofit raising awareness about depression, addiction, self-injury, and suicide” with an info card in my hand and sweat trickling down my back 847 times, and I didn’t get tired of it. Some people politely listened feigning interest and others really heard me and tied a string from themselves to us because somehow our story was their story too.  

Peggy didn’t expect to be so drawn in. She stopped at the McDonald’s tent to get a snack for her granddaughter waiting at the picnic table when our funny name caught her eye. For the 321st time, I told a stranger who we are. Holding back tears, she told us about her niece Jeanie and how much Jeanie needed to know about us. “This is so Jeanie, all Jeanie,” she kept saying and shared how Jeanie has dealt with great loss and pain in the last year. Peggy walked away and wasn’t a stranger anymore.  

The next day, Chris was helping a petite soft-spoken woman with her blonde hair cropped just above her shoulders who was learning about us for the first time. I came up when she was paying for her Love is the Movement shirt. Holding back tears and digging in her wallet, her gaze not meeting our eyes, she said she lost her brother to suicide. I said I was so sorry to hear that and Chris asked her name. Asking someone their name gives them this unspoken validation that they matter even though they may be a stranger. Through her smile, she said her name was Lisa, and I knew I would never forget her. She looked at me and said, “Mom and Dad have never been the same,” and I said, “Yeah, it changes everything—nothing and no one is ever the same.” She nodded, and I asked when her brother passed sure that it was within the past few months. Her voice cracked as she said, “1986.” I tried to contain my surprise. I haven’t lost someone to suicide, so I haven’t dealt with that kind of pain personally. Her brother has been gone longer than I have been alive, and her pain at losing him is still so fresh and real. She held up her shirt, bowed her head, and said thank you as she walked away, and I wonder who is more grateful that she stopped at our tent—her or us?

At CMA Fest during the day different zones are open and most of them free to the public, but at five booths start closing up for the night for everyone to get dinner and make the trek to LP Field across the bridge for the evening concerts. Passes to the concerts were included with our booth package, so each night we joined more than 40,000 people to sing and dance to our favorite country songs. Anyone who enjoys seeing live music knows the magic of being in a crowd of people, singing the same song at the top of your lungs and getting goose bumps. It doesn’t always happen that way in the nosebleeds, but during Keith Urban’s set it was inevitable.

In case you haven’t heard, Nashville had an awful flood the first weekend in May. Most of downtown Nashville (where CMA Fest is held) was under water.  In the beginning, the media didn’t give it much coverage and the city wasn’t getting help from the outside. But Nashville banded together, pulled themselves up and did what they had to do to get their city on its feet again. Restaurants spent their days making bag lunches and giving them away throughout the city, while other people worked to repair the damage. A little more than a month later, they were ready to host the first ever sold out CMA Fest.

Keith played his whole set, then he talked about Nashville and the flood. He talked about how proud he was to be a part of a city with such a strong community, how people joined together without thinking twice, and how important it was for all of us to be there at CMA Fest, how much Nashville needed us to come. He dedicated his next song to the city and the people and launched into a cover of “With a Little Help from my Friends” with Little Big Town. The performers at Heavy and Light this year also covered this song, but this performance had a different force, a different power, a different magic with images from the flood flashing on the screen behind the band. We stood and we sang and we rocked (yes, we still rock out in country music). In The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Charlie talks about this moment where he and his friends are singing together in the truck and he says he felt infinite (page 39), and this night, this song, this moment is infinite for all 40,000 of us.  

Depression doesn’t care if you wear a cowboy hat with Wranglers or skinny jeans with Converse shoes. I hope that through this small window into what may be a different world you see that this story may be your story too. It may look different and sound different, but pain is universal. Hope is too. That’s why we went because everyone is a part of this ongoing conversation. May your life look like this—where strangers become friends in an instant, where 40,000 people can feel like family, where a song and a few pictures become an infinite moment you want to tuck away so you can take it out again and again.

 So much love to all of you strangers reading this.
Know that there is someone down in Florida who believes in you.
Thank you for letting me be a part of your story.

whitney

Comments (11) | Posted in General, Journal, Music by Chris Youngblood

A town is a place but it is more that thing where stories tie together. Moments hilarious and terrible and amazing inspire nicknames and people gather around food and laughter. People come together to live and tell their stories and it all adds up to form something bigger, the story of a town. Virginia Beach is a surfing town and i have been there now.

Zeke died five years ago, his death a suicide, a choice and moment just like millions more, except the kind that’s all too final, the kind that leaves no room for others. First Street, this ocean, this place, is where his ashes were scattered. Men who love the land, you give them to the land, but surfers do it different. Surfers paddle out, hold hands and make a circle, ashes to the water along with flowers. And then we scream and splash and say goodbye. Perhaps we scream because it’s impossible. Zeke’s friends did this on a freezing cold January day in 2006, two hundred people in the water and as many or more standing on the sand, a scene that made the News.

i wasn’t there that day but i was there yesterday, for the 5^th Annual “Zeke’s Lil Rat Surfcus,” a unique surfing competition meant to make kids smile. Creativity is often born from suffering and this is also that, Zeke’s friends and family doing their best to create something special in his honor, beauty born from pain.

We woke up early to set up tents and prepare for the day. The kids arrived and the contest began at 8. I watched as Zeke’s mom, quiet and humble, worked to make sure everything was perfect for the kids. Every boy and every girl got an official contest t-shirt, black and white so that they could add the colors. She set up a table with fabric markers so that they could make their art. Zeke was always drawing and painting so this made perfect sense. She brought bubbles and water guns so that the kids could be kids, so that they could play and smile. This is crucial because we get older and we forget how to play. Pain and worry come to steal our smiles. Mothers, the good ones, they fight to let us keep them. Zeke is gone but his mother is still a mother.

Midway through the morning, she walked away without announcement, away from the buzz and noise and laughter of the contest. She walked alone, away from the tents, across the sand toward the rocks that form the jetty. She walked with flowers and Nicole told me they were sunflowers, because you give sunflowers to the people that you truly love. The kids near us cheered and screamed for reasons unrelated, the surfers surfed and the announcers added noise. She moved slowly across the rocks and at the end, she stopped and threw the flowers to the sea.

“She does this every year, today and on his birthday and on the day he died,” Nicole told me as we watched.

She paused for just a moment and I watched her walk back and I watched her wipe her eyes.

Two hours later, I sat down in the empty chair beside her.

“Today must be bittersweet for you,” I said, after small talk and some silence.

“Every day is bittersweet,” she replied.

We sat for some time, often without words, under a burning summer sun. I didn’t offer answers because I had no answers to offer. When we did talk, we talked about family and pain and change. We talked about her wonderful brilliant grandson and we talked about my sisters.

Zeke was my friend when we both worked at Hurley, and his Nicole has become my friend over the last year. I came to Virginia to support her and to meet the other characters, the friends with nicknames, his family, his town. I didn’t know it when I bought my ticket but I came to watch a mother remember her son, to say in her own way, that she remembers, that he was significant, that she is still his mother.

Every single kid who surfed in the contest left with information about TWLOHA and a TWLOHA t-shirt. There was no epic speech but it moved me to know that every single kid left that beach with a bag marked “Hope is real. Help is real. Your story is important.”

The hope in all of that, the reason TWLOHA exists, is to keep the flowers from the sea. Death will come for all of us but let us fight to live. Let us bury our mothers and them not us. And if it should happen the other way or if it already has, i hope you get to know the privilege of seeing them remember. i hope you get to sit with them in silence, the silence simply honest and neither of you alone because the other is there.

In Loving Memory: Zeke Sanders

Peace to you today.

jamie

Comments (18) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

This blog was written on June 4, 2010.

---

It is Thursday (but technically Friday) and I am sitting in Union Station in downtown Los Angeles waiting for the 1:25 am bus to take me to Bakersfield to catch a train heading north to see my parents.

I have only been here once before, and it was for a brief moment when I ran past everything without really noticing anything. This time I have an extra hour before I need to leave, so I take the time to observe my surroundings.

Union Station is a beautiful old building full of decorative tiles and leather chairs and wood trim on the ceiling. It’s a place I imagine Winston Churchill or FDR enjoying because it’s what I picture being "exquisite" during their lifetimes.

Union Station is also a building full of people who don’t have homes, places to go, or people to share their stories with. Many of the faces you pass look just as weathered as the walls. As I sit in one of the old-fashioned, brown leather chairs, I notice a security guard walking around, gently waking people up and asking, “Can I see your ticket?” The response from the person is typically one of confusion, or a rustle of pockets yielding no money or ticket, followed by silence as the sleepy person walks out into the early morning. They all give the ticket man the same look: pain.

I quietly ask the security guard, “How do you do this everyday?”

“Eventually you just get used to it. It’s always the same.”

The words roll around in my mind for long time. I try to wrap my head around each of them, to somehow make sense of their meaning.

“It’s always the same.”

Why? It doesn’t have to be. We are not meant to live our lives in such brokenness. Every one of these people has a story, and each just as important. Why do we feel as if their lives are so drastically different from the security guard’s? And from my life. Or maybe yours too.

My heart aches for lonely, broken people. But also for the security guard, who has to send them away everyday, into a place where shelter may not meet them. And for the people who have a roof, and a bed, but still feel alone – my heart aches for you, and sometimes for me, because at times it feels lonelier in a crowded room than it does in an empty home.

So if that’s you right now, please know it is possible to find a place where you feel alive. You are meant for that. You deserve to have a place to go and rest. It may not involve a roof, but it will involve people. And in the sharing of your story with others, you give them permission to do the same.

With Love,

Chloe

Comments (9) | Posted in General, Journal by Chloe Grabanski

A guy called Erik Carlson asked if he could film our Naperville, IL event a couple months back. He said he wanted to ask some questions for a project he had in mind. We had never heard of him at the time but we are beyond impressed by what he put together. 

Comments (7) | Posted in General, Music by jamie tworkowski

Dear Today (or Yesterday as the case may be), I am thankful you happened.I believe I can confidently say that today was the best Memorial Day I’ve ever had.
The others were fine, but they were just days, the possibility of a break from school or work, and (if I remembered) for remembering people who have served in my place to protect a freedom I take for granted.
(And perhaps I am a horrible person for not remembering, but that is a different blog.)
But today, I remember.

Today, I remember we are broken creatures.
I remember our brokenness is not the end, that we can let the light in through the cracks.
I remember intersections mean that we are coming from different angles.
I remember to be thankful for the crossing.
I remember we must work to sew ourselves to each other.
I remember pulling the threads takes steady fingers and commitment.
I remember that roots are worth it, no matter how temporary.
And these are pretentious and varying metaphors, yet they completely capture my Memorial Day.

Today was made of a few good conversations leading me to all those conclusions.
Tonight, I sat at a picnic table with a woman I should, by all potential intersections, already know but didn’t until two weeks ago.
As the water steadily slapped the rocks and the clouds moved like a slideshow above us, we talked about Ms. Britt and Meredith College, our love for the most beautiful of the Carolinas, the strings that attach us to where we come from and where we’ve been, and the women we believe we’ve always been and are becoming more of everyday.
When I talked about feeling like my strings are tight and the strain hurts, she tilted my perspective. 
She reminded me that tight strings make for beautiful melodies and maybe my melody of this time will serve a purpose for someone else.
And maybe that doesn’t sound profound to you, reading this on a screen.
Maybe you need the darkness and streetlights and rock-slapping water to get the full effect, but for me, for tonight, she gave the metaphor a weight I needed to see.

And I remember why I wanted to come here.
It was for conversations like today, for the intentional and genuine curiosity of a stranger that plants the seeds of beautiful friendships.
It was for nights like tonight, where, despite the bugs and the heat and the humidity and the creepers, we were not leaving that fucking bench.
Days like today make me feel more alive and more myself.
And I remember my story is mine, and I choose how to tell it.
Dear Today, I needed you very much.

Love and hope and grace and peace to you on this Tuesday.
May you have days like this, where you write all the details because they are too good for the possibility of forgetting.
Thank you for reading.

whitney

PS: To read more of Whitney's writing, check out her blog.

Comments (17) | Posted in General, Journal by Chris Youngblood

Spring 2010 UChapter Tour - University of South Carolina from To Write Love on Her Arms. on Vimeo.

Comments (3) | Posted in General, Music by Chris Youngblood

Please remember the ones who can't forget, the soldiers forever trying to get home, trying to let go, to be okay...

To soldiers and to the friends and family of soldiers, we pause to acknowledge you today, to say that you matter. The things you've seen, the things you've lost, the battles that you fight, the dreams that steal your sleep - may we never call them small.

And we apologize today, for the ways that we forget, for the ways that we are selfish, for our lack of understanding. Perhaps the ones who've never been there, we can't begin to comprehend words like "war" and "fight" and "home." We don't know what they weigh and what they cost.

To the ones who fought for peace and freedom, we pray those things for you. We pray rest and hope and healing, and innocence again. We pray for people who will listen and the strength in you to speak. May other people know you, walk with you in the questions and recovery. May you get the help you need, the help that you deserve.

Today, we say that we see you, and not only as a soldier but also as a person. Someone not unlike us. You are significant. You are not forgotten.

Finally, humbly, thank you.

Peace to you today.
Jamie

Comments (17) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

i hope you know you're not the only one who feels the way you feel. You are not the only one who struggles. You are not the only one with questions. You are not crazy. You deserve to be heard, to be known. You deserve love. 

Comments (144) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

UNIVERSITY OF SOUTH ALABAMA

The TWLOHA Spring 2010 UChapter Tour visited the University of South Alabama on April 27, 2010. This event was one of 28 across the U.S. and Canada. The goal was to use the songs of Damion Suomi, Andy Zipf and Lauris Vidal to inspire conversations about pain, hope and community.

Comments (4) | Posted in General, Music by jamie tworkowski

The Spring 2010 UChapter Tour has come and gone... And the road was long. Very long. 44 days, 28 events, 18 states, 1 province, 2 countries, and 10,000 miles to be exact. For those who don't know, UChapters is a college and university program that TWLOHA launched last Fall. Each chapter is lead by students and exists to bring the mission and vision of To Write Love on Her Arms to campuses across the US and Canada (for now).

Our goal with this tour was to use the music of Damion Suomi, Andy Zipf and Lauris Vidal to inspire conversations on the themes of Pain, Hope and Community. Joining the artists was a TWLOHA representative - either Chad Moses, Jason Blades or myself (Denny Kolsch) - who served as a discussion moderator between the audience and artists. Each song revealed the reality of pain and pointed to the hope found in community.

On the road we had the opportunity to enter into people's lives and homes. We shared stories and meals, slept on floors, visited quaint little towns and big bustling cities. Life was given and it was received. I'm not going to lie, planning this tour for the chapters and our team was hard and at times very stressful. But every time I heard the songs of these freakishly talented musicians and the responses of the audience, I couldn't help but to believe it was all worth it.

Every night we talked about people as if they mattered. Like really mattered. We talked about how music and other art forms have the power to help us process the pain in our lives. And likewise, how choosing to "know and be known" is often the setting where this process occurs. That every person has deep value is something we agreed we must believe. But will we choose to believe this for ourselves?

 I can't fully express how much I was moved by all the life we encountered on the road. There were so many special people and stories. Below is the first of three videos produced by our talented filming friend Dustin Miller. All three videos are from different chapter events on the UChapters Tour. The first one is from the Virginia Commonwealth University / University of Virginia combined event, which was held in Richmond, VA on April 23.

If you are interested in how to become involved with UChapters please visit twlohauchapters.com for more information.

Thank you to all the chapters and friends that made this tour happen!



With Hope,
Denny

Comments (7) | Posted in General, Music by Chris Youngblood

We hope that today is indeed a happy Mother's Day, that there is much to celebrate and that Moms feel loved today.

We know that it's a difficult day for some, that some have lost their Mom or the relationship is broken. Please know you're not alone today.

To every mother that's lost a son or daughter to suicide or addiction, you're in our thoughts and prayers today. You're not alone.

Peace to you today.

Comments (21) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

This story happened one week ago.

We had a team at Bamboozle in New Jersey. On the road, Chad was nearing the end of the Pick Up The Phone Tour. At the Bungalow, our interns were packing and saying goodbyes as their four-month internship came to a close. As for me, I had the weekend off – no TWLOHA events or festivals, just another average weekend in Central Florida (or so I thought.)

Saturday night my husband and I drove to Melbourne High School, the same school we graduated from almost ten years ago, for the 2010 Relay For Life event. The American Cancer Society Relay For Life is an annual event that takes place in parks and schools across the globe. It’s a memorial to remember loved ones lost to cancer, a time to celebrate with those who have survived, and a chance to fight back against this awful disease. As we approached the school we saw hundreds of cars lining the baseball field, filling the parking lots, and overflowing to areas across the street. I was blown away. I hadn’t even walked up and I was already in awe.

Music was blaring. Kids were running, playing, laughing. Booths were on both sides of the walking track selling merchandise, goodies, and food to raise additional funds for the cause. Tents and sleeping bags were set up for the night ahead. There was a rainbow of t-shirts in different colors, each t-shirt representing one of the thirty-nine teams participating that evening. Teams were made up of school faculty members, co-workers from local businesses, families, and groups of friends who in some way or another had been affected by cancer. The second we walked up, we were greeted by our friend Sean. Sean was a groomsman in our wedding and has been one of our closest friends for years. My husband and I were participating for him and for his family. His father, after a long battle with an extremely rare cancer, passed away on August 13, 2008.

The entire Relay for Life was dedicated to Sean’s father, Dr. Thomas McIntyre. He had been a prominent member of the community and was well known in the education system – he had spent years as a teacher, dean, principal and superintendent in the county. To me, he was just my friend’s dad. To me, he was a father of three boys and a husband, now missing from this family I love.

The word “SURVIVOR” printed across the back of purple t-shirts reminded everyone that the person wearing the shirt had lived through their battles with the disease. They stood out in the crowd. Without saying a word, they could relate to one another. Smiles were passed back and forth from one survivor to another, a small gesture with a lot of impact. They didn’t need to describe chemo to each another or the side effects that resulted. They had known it, felt it, it had consumed their souls, and they came out on the other side.

I thought of my friend Stacy. Her mom was diagnosed with Stage 4 Non Small Cell Non Smokers Lung Cancer in December 2004. Up until a few weeks ago, her mom would’ve proudly worn a “SURVIVOR” shirt too. But after five years in remission she was re-introduced to her worst enemy. Five years cancer-free and suddenly life changes. Again. It doesn’t add up. It doesn’t make sense. I wished in that moment that Stacy and her mom were there too, just so they could be loved, and so they could be reminded they were not alone. So their hope could be renewed.

There was a sense of unity and strength on the field that night. As the sun began to go down I noticed volunteers lighting tea lights in paper bags, each bag with the name of a friend or loved one who passed away from cancer or a message celebrating someone’s recovery. Each bag represented a story, a life. In my mind, there were too many bags, too much pain and too much struggle. It was difficult to look at. Even those celebrating in their recovery had walked through a time I could not begin to relate to. At sunset, the Luminaria Ceremony took place honoring Dr. McIntyre and all of the others affected by cancer in our community. The ceremony ended in silence, walking around the track lined with glowing luminaries.

It was a moment to reflect. A moment to remember. A moment that doesn’t happen frequently on a high school baseball field. As the lap ended, I turned to my husband and told him how crazy it was that we could’ve been walking for me; about a month and a half ago, I was tested for both bladder and kidney cancer. For some reason, I got the good news. My doctor looked me in the eyes and said I would be fine. “You do not have cancer.” I remember walking into the doctor’s office that day thinking my life could change drastically, but for some reason I was spared the diagnosis. So the question flips, why not me? Why am I so lucky? That night I was surrounded by hundreds of people whose lives had changed with a doctor visit. They had not received the good news I did. They received the bad news. The pain, the unending doctor appointments, procedures, prescriptions, treatment options, all of it. I had walked that path for a few months and it scared the hell out of me. Some have dealt with this for years. Some still do every day. And for some, like Sean’s dad, the cancer was just too strong.

That night I was invited into a community of people filled with hope, determination, and love. It was community at its finest; raw and honest. It was not sugarcoated. It was okay to be sad. It was okay to be happy. You didn’t have to act a certain way. The way you were was accepted. I hope that in whatever you are dealing with you are able to find a place where you feel safe being who you are. Whatever baggage you may carry or struggles you deal with, I hope that you can find a community like this one. Do not be ashamed. It’s okay to be scared, just do not live life alone. Talk to the people in your life you trust, or can learn to trust. Let them love you.

You are NOT replaceable.

With Love,
Jessica :)

UPDATE: As of yesterday, my friend Stacy’s mom received the news that she is cancer free again! We are all so excited and hopeful for the future. Day two and counting…

Comments (21) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

(Written after Copeland’s last American show in Orlando, FL on April 11, 2010.)

There was a lot that went into that night – the planning, the expectation, the travel, and the history.

A dear friend described the night as "saying goodbye to a big part of high school." In the office, we have a sort of specific language that revolves around music. We realize that we are drawn to music that reminds us it’s ok to sing and scream and smile and cry. Music is a safe place and a common ground, and music is one place that we can run to in attempts to make sense of our lives. Copeland had always fulfilled that purpose for me, even when I couldn't recognize that was the reason they hit me so hard.

What began as a $40 investment in a pair of tickets ended up being much more valuable. I emailed the staff to request they not book me for anything on April 11th, but this was long before a few other developments came to fruition, namely the Spring UChapters Tour and the Pick Up The Phone Tour. Once I knew I’d be on the road all of April, I told our partners in PUTP to find a replacement for me for the stop in DC, as I would be too busy standing in line at the Social in downtown Orlando that night. On April 10th, we had an event in NYC and I quickly loaded out in order to drive to DC by 4 in the morning, hop on a plane at 11 am and land in Orlando at 3 pm. From there, the plan was to celebrate the life of a band that meant so much to me and return to DC by the next morning for a press conference on Capitol Hill. Sixteen hours later and $250 poorer, I was able to arrive in DC with an uncensored smile that painted each word leaving my mouth.

Like many of you, "Brightest" was first my exposure to Copeland’s music. This marriage between ambience and "emo” – the vulnerability and lack of answers presented in the first album were what drew me in and encouraged me that questions are useful and allowed and appropriate. I found a sort of romance in the idea that, on Copeland's website, they asked their audience not to pry for the exact meanings of songs because Aaron Marsh, they felt, had exposed enough of his heart in the music itself. And this allowed me to make their songs mine.

I have talked a great deal in recent months about how music and memory are in constant interplay; music allows us to time travel and revisit the most joyous of times, and also the moments where our hearts have failed others and us. As the set started winding down, I began to fear that my favorite songs would forever exist only in mp3 form, but I was gifted with the best encore that could have been scripted for me. The band began the encore with "Brightest," the song that had played a huge role in the development of my musical tastes. Next was "Testing the Strong Ones," which (in cliché fashion) I would say is the story of my life – the description of that gap between expectation and reality, the familiar scents of hospitals and the hope that pain will end soon, the frustration with and the longing for the supernatural, the guilt and sinking feeling, and the faces of Mema, Rebekah, and Diana, and the course of events that led me to find out what brokenness truly meant – that song became my hymn. I have been tested, scarred, and held. To me, this song is a validation. The words represented everything I could not find, or rather, was afraid to find because they would scare those around me. That song made me feel less "crazy" because it was proof that someone out there knew exactly what I was feeling.

And then Aaron then said the words that the packed venue was afraid to hear. “Thank you, we love you... We were Copeland." The finality of that statement presented a stark contrast to their very last song, "You Have My Attention." The song that, to this day, keeps me searching, seeking, hoping, and moving. Where "Testing the Strong Ones" describes the story of my life, "Attention" describes the hope for what my story will become. The song is about the knowing what you are looking for and keeping that in sight. Nothing else that matters. My favorite part of this song is that it doesn't want to end. It just keeps driving and cuts in and out until it fades completely. The only reason it stops it because someone behind a studio wall decided to turn a knob to the left.

There was life in that room, and it was palpable. That night had countless faces and memories tied to every note, and that is rare. Everyone had entered through the doors with a story, and at some point in the lives of these individuals and the life of the band there had been a lyric or line or chord or sequence of tracks that brought us all together for that night.

Copeland was the first band I saw after I stopped self-injuring. I saw them in Charlottesville, VA at Starr Hill. I stood directly in front of the piano. I cried for the first time without needing booze to fuel my emotions. I felt something for the first time in years. I am quite simply indebted to these musicians and their art. They got me through those first painful weeks of lucidity and sobriety. I find healing in their words, and I find resonance in their questions. I find beauty in the word play. And now, I find comfort in their memory.

 I am Chad because they were Copeland.

Comments (11) | Posted in General, Music by Chris Youngblood

Hey guys,

Today was the last day for our Spring Interns at the office, and it’s a bittersweet ending to an awesome few months. We’ve danced, laughed and celebrated so many victories with them. We’ve shared the hard and messy parts of life. Some goodbyes have come too soon, but we are left this week with a joy that comes from knowing they are—and will continue to be—a part of our TWLOHA family.

We wanted to post the new intern video as a way to say thanks and to give you guys a behind-the-scenes look at the TWLOHA Intern Program. TWLOHA interns play a vital role in helping us reach our goal of connecting people to hope and help and community. We are looking for people willing and equipped to live out the TWLOHA mission. For info or to apply, visit www.twloha.com/move/intern-program.

Brandi, Shannon, Kim, Erin, Chelsea and Ashley, we can’t thank you guys enough for all the hard work you’ve done and for the life-giving moments you’ve brought to our team.



With Hope,
Lindsay
Intern Program Director

Comments (6) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

And now we get to answer the question...

Hey Guys,

PS3: Our friends at Charity:Water showed off the ad they wanted to run. We think it's pretty great.

Comments (41) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

This Thursday we were at Mr. Small’s in the sleepy town of Millvale, PA (just outside of Pittsburgh) for the Pick Up The Phone tour with Blue October. It was quite a contrast from the night before when we were at the House of Blues in Boston, which is the biggest venue in the franchise. This building used to be a gathering place for religious individuals, coming together as a community to celebrate a common belief. So while the music may be less orthodox, a bit louder, and include words not often said from a pulpit, it is still a room that celebrates community.

It has been a pleasure spending time with the bands and fans on this tour, hearing their stories and watching them sing along with the passion of a favorite hymn from yesteryear. Across the county, we see that every person joining us in these rooms come here for a reason. Many of them planned this night months in advance - their very own musical holiday. They come here because they relate to the music, and thus, to one another.

For this tour, we are united behind the cause of suicide prevention. Ironically, it's a topic rarely discussed in circles of faith. Despite the silence of some communities, there are waves of applause whenever the topic of saving lives is announced from stage. And this is something worth celebrating. While many of you may not be able to make it out to one of the tour dates, we still want to invite you into this celebration. We want to encourage you to continue to have the tough conversations, to help someone struggling.

Also, a key part of this tour is promoting IMAlive. We are still in the process of accepting volunteer applications for this new program and would be honored to have your help as we continue our journey toward the first live, online 100% trained and certified suicide prevention network.

Tickets are still available for most of the remaining dates. Find out more at putp.org. See you on the road.

With hope,
Chad

Comments (9) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hey Guys.

We've seen some surprising doors open and we've been invited to borrow some amazing stages over the last four years. Jon Foreman pulled a Title shirt from the very first batch minutes before a sold-out Switchfoot show in South Florida. That was March 2006 and we were off and running. Since then, we've been invited to share a message of hope and help and community with thousands on tours with Anberlin, Bayside, The Almost, The Rocket Summer and Switchfoot - speaking not at 7 o'clock when the room is sparse and chatty but instead taking the stage in the most exciting moment, when the crowd expects the headliner. We’ve spent the last three summers all across America on Warped Tour, and we’ve had the privilege of touring Australia for the last two years of Soundwave Festival. NBC Nightly News introduced us to nine million people on a single night in 2008. Rolling Stone and MTV added to that number in 2009. And with a simple silly YouTube video, Joaquin Phoenix, Miley Cyrus and Liv Tyler put TWLOHA in front of two million folks.

And it wasn’t all bright lights and famous names. You have played just as much a part. Our message has spread in countless conversations at school and work and coffee. It’s happened in conversations with strangers and friends, sparked by questions such as “What does your shirt mean?” and “Why do you always write LOVE on your arm?”

Last night we learned about an exciting opportunity, a stage that we would certainly love to borrow. USA Today is giving away a full-page ad. Why is that exciting? Because every morning in America, nearly four million people wake up to USA Today.

What would we say to four million people?

It’s exciting to imagine.

Perhaps a simple message of encouragement, words of hope and help, meant to make four million days a little lighter. Or perhaps a letter to President Obama, telling him that we have to take better care of our soldiers – more are dying by suicide than combat and that’s a fact that screams for our attention. Or maybe it’s the chance to invite America to help fund IMAlive, a live online crisis network that we believe will save thousands of lives. It’s the first of it’s kind and long-overdue.

It would be quite an opportunity, quite the canvas to paint on, but we need your help to make it happen. We need your passion and your voice (and we need you to tweet).

Simply click here to post the following on your Twitter: 

“Let's bring hope and help to America. Please RT: #AmericaWants @TWLOHA to get a full-page ad in USA Today.”

Please invite your friends to do the same between now and Friday night (4/16) at 11:59pm EST. Learn more here.

Thanks so much your support. We’re all in this together.

Peace to you.

jamie

Comments (21) | Posted in General, Music by jamie tworkowski

One of the great privileges of the last couple years has been spending more and more time on college campuses. Doors keep opening and invitations keep coming and we love to go, to lead a conversation that we believe in, to talk about things that don't normally get talked about - this problem of pain that perhaps we can all relate to. 

Comments (20) | Posted in General, Journal by jamie tworkowski

Hey guys,

Last week we sent out our TWLOHA newsletter for the month of March, and we're pretty excited about it. We'll now be emailing these once a month to update you on details you may have missed, places we've been, progress in our new projects like IMAlive, and ways you can be involved. It's just one more way to stay connected with us. 

If you want to receive our monthly newsletter, submit your email on our homepage in the TWLOHA Email Updates section. 

To read the full version of our March newsletter, click here. 

Comments (3) | Posted in General by Kaitlyn Suveg

Alexis Pilkington, a West Islip High School senior and star soccer player died by suicide last weekend. There is speculation that cyberbullying on Lexi's Formspring.me account might have led to her decision. There has been a lot of talk in the media and online about people boycotting Formspring in response to Lexi's death. Yesterday afternoon, i was invited to write an opinion-based article for Newsday, the newspaper of Long Island, NY. i was given a little over an hour to write the piece and a shorter, heavily-edited version of it appears in this morning's paper. 

The original version is below:

On behalf of the community of people that I represent, I want to start by saying that our hearts are heavy for the friends and family of Alexis Pilkington. Though we did not know her, we are sorry beyond words. You are not alone in this moment. You are not alone in the questions that have no answers. To only offer only words feels small, but we believe those things and also these: We didn’t know Alexis but we know that she mattered, that her story was important. And we believe those things of you as well.

What I’m writing now is not an article about Alexis. I didn’t know the miracle of her life and it’s not my place to speculate on the details of her death. I am not a journalist and this writing is not based on research.

In the articles I’ve been reading about Alexis, the word “Formspring” keeps showing up. It’s a website that I’m familiar with. Formspring is a social networking site – essentially it’s a site where people can ask and answer questions of other Formspring users, sort of like an ongoing interview. The site is growing in popularity right now, especially among young people. What I’ve read suggests that Lexi received hurtful words via her Formspring account. I don’t know who wrote the hurtful words or if she knew them, and I don’t know if or how she responded.

There is speculation that these words led to her suicide. I’ve read a quote from her father that suggests he doesn’t believe it to be that simple, that there is more to the story, that Lexi struggled with depression and also that she was getting professional help for it.

In response to Lexi’s death, people are boycotting Formspring and that is what I want to address here.

First, I want to say that I completely understand this response. We live in a world where people say terrible things, where people forget the weight of their words and the consequences of their actions. You are right to hate an action that is awful, to despise something rooted in hate. I understand wanting to place blame and the desire for justice. I am 100% for the idea of laws that treat cyberbullying as a crime.

All of that said, I don’t believe that boycotting Formspring is any sort of solution. I don’t believe it will prevent suicide. The same problems exist on Facebook and MySpace and Twitter and countless other websites. And with that, it’s worth considering that hate, as well as pain, have been around much longer than the internet. If that’s true, then perhaps the problem is not the internet at all – perhaps the problem is people.

I believe there’s a bigger picture and better solutions to consider.  If you were close to Lexi and you want to do something that brings honor to her life - if you want to learn to fight for the lives and health of the people around you - my guess is that it won’t have much to do with the strangers on the internet. My guess is that it will happen in the context of real relationships and honest conversations.

It will happen at lunch and over coffee, in conversations long-overdue that begin with “How are you?”  It will happen as we allow ourselves to be truly known and truly loved and as we pursue the kinds of friendships where those things can be reciprocated. It will happen when we’re real with the people around us, when we invite people into our questions, our struggles, our fears, our dreams. It will happen when we get the help we need and invite others to do the same.

When it comes to depression and suicide and problems of pain, the people who struggle feel alone.  I struggle with depression and I know this feeling. And yet, better ideas exist: Perhaps we were not meant to live life alone.  Perhaps we were meant to live life with other people. Beyond relationships and community, the good news is that depression is treatable and that professional help exists. The hardest step to take is the first one. We know it’s not easy but we believe that it’s worth it.

The thing I like about Formspring is that, when used as it was intended, it suggests that someone’s story matters, that there is value in their answers and ideas. And we’re invited to ask questions as well. Now, what if we turned off our computers and lived that way? What if we fought to place value on the lives of the people we love, to truly meet them in their questions and their answers, and to confess to them our own. I believe we would see something stronger and brighter than any boycott. I believe we would be reminded that love is stronger than hate and that friendship might be the greatest miracle that happens on this planet. 

Comments (48) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

This tour is an attempt to celebrate and support our UChapters in bringing the message and mission of TWLOHA to college and university campuses. Evenings of lyrics and conversation, on the road now thru April 28. 

Comments (8) | Posted in General, Music by jamie tworkowski

A video for all who struggle. Don't give up. There is much to fight for and there are many ways to fight. Here is a beautiful display.

Comments (26) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

Below are the words of Shannon, one of our spring interns spending the season with us. Shannon had attended MOVE prior to interning with us, and this past weekend she got the chance to help out a bit behind the scenes. While there, she connected with an attendee named Jenny who touched her heart, and we want to share her experience with all of you. Enjoy!

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This past weekend I had the privilege of attending the MOVE Community Conference held in Cocoa Beach. Last April I attended a MOVE conference on my own in that same quiet beach town, with the same breeze and overcast sky. I never imagined I would be in this place again, one year later, with renewed encouragement and thoughts of hope.

As I stood in the red and gold conference room early Friday morning, MOVE attendees slowly arrived and filed in. Young and old; seeking information about the topics TWLOHA addresses and wanting to fill a need. Some were weary with tired eyes from long rainy drives, and others wide-awake, smiling, with thankful handshakes. I saw a beautiful lady approaching in a bright blue sweater that matched her hopeful eyes, her right hand met mine and she spoke, “Hi, I’m Jenny.” When I learned that we both come from sunny Southern California I felt comforted in meeting a kindred spirit on the right coast. When I asked her what it was that had brought her to this Cocoa Beach hotel, thousands of miles from home, I had no idea that her answer would shake the Southern ground we stood on.

“My daughter committed suicide. Five months ago. I couldn’t wait for MOVE to come to California; I had to be here now.”

We instantly embraced in a hug as I told her I was sorry and I was thankful she was here. In that moment, when words seemed so insignificant, I felt the overwhelming beauty in her hope. It was the kind of hope formed out of a painful place, and the kind that’s made even more powerful when we get to share it with others. Through my ensuing conversations with Jenny over the next two days, I got a glimpse into the beautiful life of her daughter, Grayson. I felt the weight of her hard and promising words, and I was thankful for the hospitality she had extended to me by trusting me with her story. Jenny came to MOVE to take information back to her community, and yet something beautiful inside, despite her brokenness, brought strength to Florida that this little Californian will never forget.

Thank you to everyone who played a part in MOVE this weekend, for both your willingness to learn and for the words you shared. Thank you for being a part of something bigger that we like to think is only made possible because of people like you. Sometimes our greatest fear and greatest joy is being known and knowing others. I hope we are all able to carry that fear and joy with us into our own communities as we continue to write our stories.

Comments (14) | Posted in General by Kaitlyn Suveg

Hey guys,

The Spring 2010 UChapter Tour is kicking off tonight at 7pm at Coffee Culture in Gainesville, FL and we’re really excited to be heading out. We’ll be stopping at 29 TWLOHA chapter university and college campuses beginning with the University of Florida tonight, picking back up at University of Texas-Austin March 22nd right after South by Southwest, and closing out on April 28th at the University of South Florida. This tour will cover areas in the South, Southwest, Midwest, Northeast and Southeast. Click here for dates and info.

As this is our very first tour for the UChapter Program—which launched in the fall of 2009—our hope is to leave each night having connected students and their local community to their representative UChapter. Each of these chapters exists to support students by bringing TWLOHA's mission and vision to campus, and this tour is just one expression of that goal.

We’re bringing you music and conversation; each night a discussion will be led by a TWLOHA representative alongside musicians Damion Suomi, Andy Zipf, and Lauris Vidal. With our choice to use intimate venues (mostly coffee shops and houses) we are attempting to create a safe place to speak honestly about the topics of pain, hope and community. Our goal is for this to be an evening of openness and vulnerability, leaving people encouraged, inspired and ultimately hopeful, realizing they are not alone in their pain and that their story matters.

During the tour we are also very excited to introduce several new chapters that have officially launched this spring term: University of South Florida, University of South Carolina, Marist College, Mississippi University for Women, St. Edwards University, James Madison University and our first Canada-based chapter, University of Windsor!

Stay posted. We’re going to have more blogs coming your way, plus a new tour video to give you an idea of what to expect when we meet you guys on campus…

with hope,
Denny
UChapter Director

Comments (5) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

I grew up in a small, rural and coastal town in Massachusetts. My family lived close enough to the city to take a trip whenever we wanted too, yet our surroundings would make us feel and think otherwise. Our closest neighbors were the beach and the gang of farm animals that we could hear next door every morning as they all woke up for each new day. I liked to adventure and learn, but as long as it was close to home. I wanted to keep learning as much as I could about my surroundings, as long as I didn’t have to let go of my mom’s hand. It is safe to say that living in such a small town and never leaving home had created a kid who had become very ethnocentric. I knew plenty about where I grew up, but I couldn’t imagine that a world outside of mine even existed.

This attitude continued until my senior year of college where I made the commute to a local state school only thirty minutes away. It wasn’t until my last semester of college that all of this changed. I decided to take a chance and applied for an internship with a cause that I felt passionate about, TWLOHA. If I am being completely honest, I will tell you that there is no way I ever saw myself getting accepted as an intern, let alone moving to Florida to participate. Within the month, I had put my final semester of college on hold and was driving down to Florida with most of my belongings to join 5 other new interns who were taking on the same new adventure. I made the choice to move despite what some people around me thought. I moved because I was ready to learn more, ready to learn and work for something I felt passionate about.

My internship ended in August when I came home in preparation for my last semester of college. Over the course of my internship, I had the privilege of standing behind the TWLOHA booth: meeting, talking and learning from so many people on Warped Tour every day. Through everyone we met on the road and my fellow interns, I learned so much about people all over: listening to their stories, their adventures, passions and desires. It made taking a chance, stepping out of my comfort zone and moving so far away from home well worthwhile. In December, I finished up school and got the invitation to go to Australia with TWLOHA for Soundwave. It was only a year ago that I decided to take a chance a step out of my comfort zone and venture away from home, now I was headed to another country for the first time!

Chris and I just returned from the adventure of a lifetime in Australia, on Soundwave Festival. Chris had gone to Australia last year with TWLOHA, but this was my first journey to the land down under. Soundwave Travels across the large continent in 2 weeks, with five stops in five major cities: Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne, Adelaide, and Perth. After landing in Brisbane, I found myself teeming with excitement. I had a hard time sleeping most of our trip; some say it was jetlag, but I disagree. I was so excited to meet so many people from all over and to see a new and beautiful country that I couldn’t find any time to sleep. Excitement and fresh faces at the booth were my fuel for each and every day where sleep was lacking.

Each and every city of our trip had so many new people to learn from and great things to experience. In Sydney, Chris and I got to lay under the stars at the foot of The Opera House and Harbor Bridge with friends. We walked around Melbourne and saw a city with amazing architecture and beautiful culture. In Perth, we took the tourist drive up the coast that ended with a dip in the ocean and a breathtaking sunset over Trigg Beach. We even got to plan some tourist activities that involved koalas, kangaroos, vegemite and a cool looking currency.

By far, the highlight of my trip and adventure in Australia was meeting so many new people and making new friends every day. Everyone at the booth, on the road, and at the airport, I owe my experience to you. Thank you for bringing us to Australia this year. This is for everyone that stopped by the booth to say hello, to everyone that showed curiosity or support for TWLOHA’s message, and for those who came simply to talk. Thank you to all of my friendly flight neighbors who wanted to share conversation, stories and friendship. Thanks for showing me a hospitable and beautiful culture and country. Thank you for my adventure, being my teacher and allowing me to learn. It has been a powerful trip, and I owe it all to you. Thank you for making me feel at home, even though home was half the world away.

Thank you again to everyone in Australia, from Warped and on the road that I have met that have made me feel like I am at home, even when home is so far away. I cant wait to see you all again.

See you so soon,
Jason

Comments (10) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

In honor of National Eating Disorders Awareness week, we wanted to share a beautiful story written by a former TWLOHA intern, Stephanie Koszalka. Please read it and enjoy remembering that your life and your story are powerful. No self-determined imperfection can change that.

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Dear Body,

I’ve always let some imperfection or another stand in the way of me seeing what you truly are, that you are beautiful. You are a divine creation housing the most valuable thing known to the universe, my soul. I’m beginning to realize that a person’s soul has the capacity to radiate light that transcends all the characteristics that I have been conditioned to believe are flaws.

You naturally tell a story. Your blue-green veins are like a map to where your heart has been and where it is going. The curve of your waist and the shape of your cheekbones tell a tale of heritage and ethnicity. There are crayon markings on the wall somewhere that has measured your height throughout the years. Always returning to the same spot to see how you’ve changed.

Your eyes bare resemblance to nature. They are a deep forest green with golden yellow sunflower flecks. Your faded birthmark, once beet red, brought me shame because all I wanted was to conform. It now reminds me of how unique you are and all I want is to be different.

Your body begins as a story but continues with new chapters throughout your life. Some are chapters of sadness and pain, others of joy, and all of growth. Each chapter a blank canvas meant to be painted by our experiences. Photos are memories but so are our bodies in a way that’s more real, no posing and no fakeness.

I’m realizing these things now, but I’m so sorry that I didn’t realize them before. I’ve done everything I could to destroy the canvas and deface and burn the pages of different chapters.

I’ve waged war on you before; used razor blades to feel and drugs to numb. I’ve used caffeine to stay awake and alcohol to sleep. Abusing the side effects of my prescription drugs like loss of appetite, to deliberately starve myself into making you skinnier.  I’ve spent far too much time on a scale that merely weighs your effect on gravity, not the depth of your beauty. I wanted you to look like one of those girls in the magazines.

But in the ruins there is still a canvas. There is still beauty in your brokenness. The faded scars show healing reminding me that even though I’ve been in dark places, I’ve survived and learned and become stronger.

Although the war is over, the world still takes its toll. You have calluses on your hands from me writing too much and concentrating too hard. Yet the words are beautiful and the studying is worth it. You have the ache when it rains from broken bones, and stretch marks from growing too fast. You have burns from jobs and scars from falls. But those experiences were worth it.  

Dear body, as I grow older I worry about how you will age. Together we gain wisdom and wrinkles, after being young and beautiful and naïve. The wisdom tells us that the beauty doesn’t subside, it only changes, and more of it comes from within.  So I won’t worry when my hair doesn’t look just right, or when I do something stupidly funny and emerge with another scar because you are telling a story. And what would I be without my story and my past?                     

Comments (105) | Posted in General by Kaitlyn Suveg

Hello from Australia!

Jason and I landed in Brisbane last week to get ready for our trip around Australia on Soundwave. This is my second year doing the festivals for TWLOHA and Jason's first, which was great for two reasons. One, I have been here before and was excited to share some of the things I remember with him. And two, I knew what was going through his head. The anticipation of coming to a new continent not knowing what to expect except the beauty that we've been fed through television and movies over the years.

The trip over was as smooth as it could have been. There were no delays or bags lost and we had great company in a sweet lady named Sonia beside us. As I thought back to last year, I remembered feeling humbled and honored to experience some of these cities just once in my lifetime. Living in America, in a time zone 14 hours away, you carry this mysterious wonder about what this giant island could be like, and to have some of those thoughts and questions answered is such an amazing feeling. I flew home last year processing every bit of the trip, conversations and random unexpected things that happened (like dipping my toes in the Indian Ocean). Returning this year, walking through and driving around the cities, I realized how much more there was to experience of this country. There is so much more than just it's beauty, which is overwhelming in itself.

Being in Brisbane and Sydney for the first two dates of Soundwave reminded us of this. We've had great interactions with everyone here, spreading the ideas of hope and help and community that a lot of you are familiar with hearing us talk about. Even seeing the faces of people we met last year and having conversations with them, noticing a difference in their step and in their tone of voice, hearing how much their lives have changed in just one year, was such a warm welcome for us. Words and stories like these bring the feeling that our presence last year was not just for selling t-shirts, but for a bigger picture. The ideas that we try to communicate every day in the work we do.

Thank you for bringing us back. Really, thank you. You guys are the ones who used your voices over the past four years to say that these issues matter. That these struggles are real. That people aren't discussing them enough. We were invited here because the people putting together Soundwave believe in our message and what we're trying to do, and see the impact it has on this community that we're all a part of. You have allowed our message to reach so many around the world, and being here reminds me of that. Melbourne, Adelaide, and Perth - we can't wait to see you again.

All the best,
Chris

Comments (10) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hey guys.

I want to extend an official invitation for you to join us this March 12 – 13, 2010 in Cocoa Beach, Florida for a MOVE Community Conference.

Odds are that if you read these blogs regularly, you probably have an idea about these conferences. If you’re new MOVE, you can find more information here:

www.twloha.com/move/move-conference

It’s my hope that you would share about this conference with someone who cares about saving lives and walking alongside those in places of pain, but who hasn’t read our blog. Call them up, email them or simply sit them down next to you. Share our desires to see community leaders, counselors, teachers, mentors, pastors and parents become more equipped in discussing issues of community, brokenness and pain, addiction, depression and anxiety, self-harm, eating disorders and suicide where they live. Share why you care too.

This month has been a heavy one for many of us on staff. That’s an awkward statement to make without any follow-up, but I tell you that to remind you that we understand the difficulty that surrounds engaging others in conversations about these topics... We too are invested in the lives of our family members, our friends (who feel like family) and our community. We hurt when others settle into a dark place, and we feel lighter when people move forward in finding help just like you do.

What encourages me the most and makes me feel most privileged in my job right now is that the topics we address as an organization, and the bigger picture, this “movement” we speak so highly of, is something universal.

We have a big year ahead of us. I hope that I can meet you at a MOVE conference and hear why you’re passionate about continuing to speak about these issues in your community. Why do you want to MOVE?

Love.
Kaitlyn
Director of MOVE Community Conferences

Comments (12) | Posted in General by Kaitlyn Suveg

For only 10 days we're auctioning off a limited-edition HEAVY AND LIGHT collection filled with momentos and merchandise from the night.

All bundles contain the following items:

- 1 HEAVY AND LIGHT info card
- 1 HEAVY AND LIGHT program
- 1 HEAVY AND LIGHT shirt
- 1 8x10 HEAVY AND LIGHT flyer
- 1 18x24 HEAVY AND LIGHT screen printed poster autographed by the artists.

These eight unique bundles are only available through eBay's Giving Works. To place your bid, create an account on eBay and go to the Official To Write Love on Her Arms profile. Select an auction, and start bidding!  Auctions will run from February 15th to February 25th.

Comments (2) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

You're alive and you matter and this pink holiday doesn't get to name you.

Comments (11) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

We would like you to join us for the third annual Valentine's Day Live Chat. You'll need to go to AbsolutePunk.net this Sunday night (2/14) at 8pm EST. If you want to participate in the chat, you'll need to create an account. It's easy and it's free.

Comments (34) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Our Street Team members have been invited to write letters of encouragement for people currently involved in residential treatment programs. We plan on sending these letters to people seeking help, to remind them that their fight is worth the effort. It has been our experience that sometimes people in these programs are unable to access the Internet, have visitors or receive mail on a regular basis. These notes are meant to meet people where they’re at in their recovery, and provide hope for them along the way.

Below is a letter we recently received from a member of our Street Team for this purpose. We think it’s wonderful, and wanted to share it with you guys too. If you would like to help write letters of encouragement, head over to our Street Team page on Fancorps to sign up today.

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My mom was always the strong one. The one who always knew what to do and what to say. A child needs someone to look up to, and naturally most kids look up to their mother or father. Whether they have a good or bad influence on them, it's just something children do. I consider myself a grownup now, but in the midst of all the searching and wondering and mystery that life offers, I'm still a child. A child seeking approval, and acknowledgment, and love.

I started writing songs when I was 14. Most of it was crap but it's just those steps you have to take to get where you want to be. I don't know what drove me to actually keep writing during the first two years because nobody heard them except for two of my siblings (and they are both younger so of course they thought that everything I did was cool). When I was 16 I thought that I wrote a half-decent song and I decided to play it in front of my mom. I remember it very well. I asked her if she wanted to hear something, I wrote, and I sat down in the hallway while she was doing her hair in front of the mirror while she got ready for work. I started playing on my guitar and singing. I will never forget the way she looked at me, the way she listened. In that moment I knew that she saw something in me. I didn't know what it was but I felt that it was something significant. She believed in me.

As we wander through this life, in whatever we do, we are always looking for approval. In school or at our jobs we need to know that what we do is good. That it matters. That we matter. The greatest fear as human beings is to be unloved.

I don't think that my mom didn't believe in me before she heard my song. I bet she did. I know she always loved me and always will. Maybe the reason why this moment was so significant to me was because she let me know that she believed in me. She encouraged me to sing my song in front of other people. When I said that I don't think it was good enough, when I didn't believe in myself, she did.

Sometimes we keep searching. We long for someone who believes in us other than our parents. We’ve all heard that “sometimes you can't make it on your own,” and most of the time we're just not brave enough to ask for help. We are ashamed because we're in need of something other than what we have on our own.

I'm a little older now and I realized that my mother is also just a person in need. I wanted to be a giver more than a taker. But there's a time for both. There are times we're the ones who are asked to give and other times we take. We may be surprised in how easy it is to give to others, even when we feel like we're the ones in need.

What if all someone needed from us was to share pieces of ourselves? To share our pain, our fears, our dreams, our stories. If we believe that other people matter and we tell them that they do, then we have to also believe that there are moments we will have to accept it when we feel like we can’t.

We may just find ourselves respond by saying, “If you believe I can, then I think I can.”

Esther
23-year-old from Germany
member of the TWLOHA Street Team

Comments (33) | Posted in General by Kaitlyn Suveg

This past October we had the pleasure of joining the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention’s Cocoa Beach chapter for an Out of the Darkness walk in our area. This past Saturday, we were able to join them a second time, and our entire team went out. We’ve truly enjoyed growing closer with the AFSP this year. We value them as an organization, and believe strongly in their vision.

Below you’ll find the voice of Erin, one of our spring interns. We’ve invited her to share her perspective from the walk in Orlando. Enjoy her words, as we hope they find you well tonight.

Comments (12) | Posted in General by Kaitlyn Suveg

Hi guys,

January was an exciting month for our team and our partners at the Kristin Brooks Hope Center as we continued working to launch IMAlive. Once launched, IMAlive will be a live online crisis network with 100% of its staff and volunteers trained and certified in crisis intervention, making it the first of its kind. With your help and your votes, we were able to raise $100,000 for IMAlive through the Chase Community Giving contest.

We wanted to update you about where we are now with the project.

Currently, we are in the beta testing phase for the online training and certification program developed in partnership between the Kristin Brooks Hope Center and the QPR Institute, both leaders in suicide prevention. The program is completed entirely through the Internet and is tailored to train volunteers to work online in crisis intervention. We have invited 120 volunteers to also complete the training in the next phase.

Over the past few days, our staff and interns have completed over 2/3 of the program, and are currently completing the two outside readings Suicide: The Forever Decision and Counseling Suicidal People: A Therapy of Hope by Dr. Paul Quinnett.  We are learning how to provide emotional support for people in crisis and to evaluate suicide risk. To be honest, many of us entered the training excited to learn more but were a bit nervous about our ability to help people in crisis because we are not, nor claim to be, trained mental health professionals. But as we continue to walk through the training, we are becoming more empowered and feel confident in our ability to help people survive perhaps the darkest hour of their lives. The training has also taught us that even after we learn techniques and methods, the most important thing we can offer the people we will respond to is our heart and the message that their story and their life matters.

Dr. Paul Quinnett reminds us of this as he teaches: “Your willingness to listen and to be empathetic sends a message of hope, and the restoration of hope is one of the key elements in reducing immediate suicide risk."

If you want more information about IMAlive, check out our site and please consider becoming a volunteer responder.

With Hope,
Lindsay
Intern Program Director & IMAlive Project Manager

Comments (18) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

Hey Guys, 

Last week was one we'll never forget. Thanks to your support, TWLOHA finished 3rd in Chase Community Giving and we are $100,000 closer to launching IMAlive, an online crisis network that will bring hope and help to thousands of people.

Over the last few years, we've been able to talk about issues that millions live with but few talk about - we've also learned that the first step to getting help is the one that most people never take. Thanks to Chase Bank and Facebook, more people are talking today and we're $100k closer to launching a network that will save lives. 

Comments (38) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

Click here to vote for TWLOHA to win $1 million for suicide prevention.

Comments (115) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hey Guys,

Welcome to the biggest moment in the history of TWLOHA.

For the last couple years, we've been talking and dreaming about a better way to bring hope and help to the people we hear from online. Since 2006, we've responded to more than 150,000 emails and messages from people asking for help. We've learned that the first step toward getting help is the one that most people never take. This is why, along with Kristin Brooks Hope Center (founders of 1-800-SUICIDE), we're launching IMAlive, the first live online crisis network with 100% of its staff certified & trained in crisis intervention.  Since 1998, 1-800-SUICIDE has responded to more than 3 million crisis calls, which is why we feel they are the perfect partner for this.

Chase Bank is giving away $5 million to charity and you get to decide where it goes. The organization that receives the most votes will win $1 million. With 75 hours to go, TWLOHA is in the lead. Every penny of the $1M will go toward the launch of IMAlive, which we believe will translate to hope and help for thousands of people online.

We need your help. Here's how...

1. VOTE. If you haven't already voted, please vote: http://bit.ly/7si7Be

2. Change your profile pic to match ours and then tag 50 friends. This way, the image will show up on their page. Include the voting link in the caption so that people know exactly what to do. Here's a suggested caption: "Please vote for TWLOHA to win $1 million for suicide prevention: http://bit.ly/7si7Be

3. If you have a twitter or myspace, please do the same there. Post blogs, tweets and bulletins and send emails. (That's what I've been doing all day)

4. Some of you like to write the word "love" on your arms. It sparks conversations and reminds you what's good and true. We hope you might consider writing the words "vote love" on your arm tomorrow, Thursday and Friday. Voting ends this Friday (1/22) 11:59PM EST. With your help, we might have something pretty incredible to celebrate.

5. Did we mention VOTE? http://bit.ly/7si7Be

We believe this is truly a chance to make history. It's not about winning. It's not about money. It's about bringing hope and help to thousands of people.

Peace to you. And as always, thank you for your support.

jamie and Team TWLOHA

PS: We also want to mention and remember the people of Haiti. Our hearts are heavy and our thoughts and prayers are for and with them. Please do what you can to help.

Comments (19) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

Hey guys,

As you know we are very excited about our opportunity to win $1 million in the Chase Community Giving contest to aid the start-up of IMAlive, the first ever live online crisis network. We’ve invited our partner at Kristin Brooks Hope Center (1-800-SUICIDE) to share a bit of the ideas behind IMAlive and why we see this as such a valuable new program.

Thanks for caring. Don’t forget that you have until January 22nd to vote, so log onto Facebook and help us today!

With Hope,
Team TWLOHA

Read more

Comments (19) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

Hey Guys,

The PostSecret project is one that means a lot to a lot of people, and it's a project that we believe in. Beyond sharing creative and compelling content, PostSecret founder Frank Warren has also been a huge supporter of Kristin Brooks Hope Center, the founders of 1-800-SUICIDE and TWLOHA's partner in the launch of IMAlive. We are grateful for the support of Frank and the PostSecret community.

Essentially, PostSecret is a platform - for people to share their secrets and for many more to realize that they are not alone. The PostSecret blog is something we at TWLOHA love to follow, because we've learned that many people live alone with their secrets, and that these things too often become sources of pain and shame. In addition to the PostSecret blog and PostSecret books, you can also experience PostSecret in person, at events across the U.S. over the next few weeks and months.

Peace to you.
jamie

APAP, New York, NY (SOLD OUT) - 01-10-10
Facebook Event Page.

Seattle University, Seattle, WA - 01-14-10
Facebook Event Page.

Dalhousie University, Halifax, NS - 01-20-10
Facebook Event Page.

Eastern Kentucky University, Richmond, KY - 01-21-10
Facebook Event Page.

The Ohio State University, Columbus, OH - 01-27-10
Facebook Event Page.

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Comments (12) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

Meet Anis Mojgani. The two-time National Slam Poetry Champion stole the show at HEAVY AND LIGHT, reminding everyone the power of words and the value in their stories.  Here, he performs "Shake the Dust." Enjoy.

Comments (9) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Two nights ago, an earthquake rocked Port-au-Prince, the capitol of Haiti. It's meant confusion for many of us watching from the U.S. and around the world, trying to follow any source of information from breaking news sources to social networking sites. In searching for an estimate of the casualties from this disaster, I stumbled across a number that made my stomach churn:

100,000.

CNN.com reports that an estimated 100,000 lives are assumed to have been lost in the earthquake thus far, and that’s not accounting for the lack of food, clean water and proper medical care that may not be available to people at this time.

Our friends at Invisible Children have provided a link to an excellent resource called TakePart for anyone looking to donate. More than a dozen organizations are listed, with appropriate links to each source. Take the time to look over the help available, and please consider donating.

Thank you for caring for the lives of others through your thoughts and prayers, and/or financial contribution. 

We’re glad that you’re alive today. 

Love.
Kaitlyn and Team TWLOHA

Links:

TakePart

Invisible Children

Comments (6) | Posted in General by Kaitlyn Suveg

Once again, HEAVY AND LIGHT was something special. People came from across the U.S. and as far away as Canada for this evening of songs, conversation and hope at House of Blues Orlando. The night began with spoken word poet Anis Mojgani (he basically stole the show) and it ended with all of the musicians coming back to the stage to do two songs together. Here's the first of those - meant to make you smile. Feel free to sing along...

Comments (3) | Posted in Music by jamie tworkowski

Hey Guys,

Thanks to everyone who voted for TWLOHA in Round 1 of Chase Community Giving. Thanks to your support, we won a $25,000 grant from Chase and we now have a chance to win $1 million for suicide prevention in Round 2. The top 100 "Big Ideas" have been announced and ours involves the launch of IMAlive, a live online crisis network. We're partnering with KBHC to get this service launched and we need your help. Voting opens this Friday, January 15th and closes on the 22nd (next Friday). You can learn more about the need, the plan and why we believe that IMAlive will help thousands of people by clicking here. There's also a video in which James Earl Jones lends his familiar powerful voice... 

Thanks for your amazing support.

Peace to you.
jamie

Comments (7) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

A look behind the scenes at HEAVY AND LIGHT 2009. From sound check to food talk to the boys working on the encore... We hope to see you Saturday night when we do it all again.



You can buy tickets to Heavy and Light 2010, January 9th at the House of Blues Orlando through TicketMaster.com here.

Comments (2) | Posted in Music by Chris Youngblood

In case you missed it, HEAVY AND LIGHT '09 was something special. Here's a taste - 2 minutes and 33 seconds of Awesome. We hope to see you this Saturday at HOB Orlando when we do it all again.



You can buy tickets to Heavy and Light 2010, January 9th at the House of Blues Orlando through TicketMaster.com here.

Comments (5) | Posted in Music by Chris Youngblood

Comments (20) | Posted in General, Journal, Merch, Music by jamie tworkowski

Hey Guys.

My heart is light tonight. And it feels almost strange to type that. Because i remember so much wrestling and the weight of so many different Decembers. i don't know if it's the holidays or the year's coming to a close but this time of year has a way of reminding us what's missing, reminding us what hurts... i feel like i've been there a lot in recent years.

If you can relate to any of that tonight - to things missing or things changed or lost or broken - we just want to take a moment to say that it matters. Your story and your pain, your hopes and fears and dreams. It matters. You matter. Tonight and tomorrow and ten years from now. We're sorry for your hurts, for empty seats and elephants in rooms and dreams that feel impossible.

John Mayer said it well in a tweet earlier tonight: "Sending a heartfelt Merry Christmas to those who feel loneliness this time of year. You're not alone. Hang in there."

We'll add to that: Keep going. Keep fighting. Talk to someone. Get the help you need. Your life is worth fighting for. Your dreams, your story, the things that make you come alive - those things deserve to shine. You deserve a friend. You deserve to be loved, to be known. Whatever you're carrying - whatever aches or haunts or steals - you were never meant to carry it alone. Bono sings "We get to carry each other." He suggests that it's a privilege, that it's the best way to live. You were meant to walk with other people, to invite other characters to play parts in your story.

Wherever you're at tonight, however heavy or light the night is, whatever scene it finds you living - please know that you matter very much. Please know that you are something priceless, something beautiful and entirely unique. There is hope for you. There is hope for all of us. 2010 has never happened before and the same is true about tomorrow.

A prayer for you, or perhaps a wish if you prefer it said that way: We hope these things feel true. We hope you know you matter. We hope you find your smile. You deserve it -you absolutely do.

Merry Christmas / Happy Holidays / Happy 2010.

Peace to you tonight.

jamie

Comments (57) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

HEAVY AND LIGHT '09 began with white text against black and a simple song. This is that video, along with moments from the night and the sound of the crowd. We hope to see you when it happens again, Saturday Jan. 9, 2010 at House of Blues Orlando.

Comments (7) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Comments (14) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

We're excited to give you yet another reason to come to FL next month:

Comments (8) | Posted in General, Music by jamie tworkowski

Hey Guys,

Shortly after we annouced the NYC Photo Shoot (for Rolling Stone) a few weeks back, we got an email from a guy named John Canfield. John is a Film student at NYU and was writing to ask if he could film the event for a project for one of his classes.

Well, after several hours of filming and roughly 150 hours of editing, we're excited for you to see John's film. His professor and classmates loved it and we hope you will too. John shot most of the NYC footage and Dustin Miller was generous in providing additional footage (Fall '08 tour, Heavy and Light '09, etc.) In the end, it's a great summary of TWLOHA as well as another look at a special day in Washington Square Park - strangers coming together for something that was very much "more than a photo shoot". John's film captures the heart of the matter and we're grateful that he would share his time and talent with us.

John would like to dedicate this film to his friend Marc Alden Strizzi (6/20/90 - 12/13/07)

Peace to you.
jamie

Part 1:


Part 2:

Comments (21) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

This past weekend, five members from the TWLOHA team flew up to chilly Toronto, Canada where we held our first ever international MOVE Community Conference! This was a really special event for us because it’s the start of something that is going to happen a lot this coming year: helping attendees feel more equipped to engage difficult topics and care for the members of their communities. It is always a privilege for our team to see people become more comfortable having conversations about the issues we deal with, and leaving an event encouraged and equipped to start the same discussions back home. 

We shared stories, made some great new friends, learned from our Licensed Mental Health Counselor friends, Aaron and Michelle Moore, and drank a LOT of Tim Horton’s coffee. (For our American friends out there, think Dunkin Donuts, only in honor of a famous hockey player.)

Wish you could have made it to Toronto? It’s not too late to sign up for MOVE Orlando, January 8-9, 2009. It’ll be a tad warmer, and you’ll get a free ticket to Heavy and Light happening the evening of the 9th.

Comments (6) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hey Guys,

We are excited to announce SocialVibe's Givapalooza and your chance to help us win $20K for IMAlive, the first live peer-to-peer suicide prevention service (for more info, click here). Givapalooza is a month-long competition for 10 charities on SocialVibe.com to compete and reach their goal before another one does. If the goal is reached by December 31st, SocialVibe will double the donation amount. On top of that, SocialVibe will be donating to the teams who reach their goals first. This is a chance to win $20,000 through SocialVibe this month and we've asked for a little help. Our friends in Boys Like Girls are on board to help us win. This is where you come in.

Our goal is reached by completed activities on our SocialVibe.com page. The more activities you complete, the more points you get, the quicker we make it to our goal! You can do anything from telling HTC what makes you unique, to writing a letter of encouragement to the women of Dress for Success. We promise it's that easy : )

Go to socialvibe.com/towriteloveonherarms now to start completing activities and help us win $20K for IMAlive!

Thanks for being part of this,
Chris

PS: Facebook users, if you want to help a little more, you can vote for us in Chase Community Giving for $25,000! Become a fan of Chase Community Giving and vote for us here.

PS2: We're also up for Mashable.com's Open Web Awards for the "Best Non-Profit Use of Social Media" and it only takes one click to vote : )

Comments (11) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

If you find yourself on page 63 of the new Rolling Stone Magazine (Taylor Lautner of Twilight is on the cover), you will find the first of five pages dedicated to TWLOHA. It's an honor and exciting to say the least. That said, i must confess that i found the title a little awkward. (i am a surfer, i'm not a savior.) The story is not perfect but hopefully it's good.

When they said they wanted to photograph me in New York City, i asked if it might be okay to invite some friends. TWLOHA supporters came to Washington Square Park in NYC from as far away as Toronto, Virginia and Delaware. My hope was a photo that expressed the community and "we" spirit of TWLOHA. They went with something different but the video below captures the true spirit of the day - stories colliding and hope shared, people coming together... Thank you once again to our talented friend Dustin Miller for making this video and thank you to Rolling Stone for liking it enough to post it on their website.

Peace to you tonight.

jamie

PS: We've been working hard this week, adding to twloha.com.  We've added FINANCES and STAFF sections, and updated NEWS and MOVE.

PS2: We would love to know your thoughts.

Comments (28) | Posted in General, Journal by jamie tworkowski

I guess some would say that I have been through a tragedy.  I say that I've been through a life-changing experience and that it has made me a better person.  I don’t like that T word - it's pretty harsh.  When Zeke died, I thought my life had ended.  In some ways it had.  I went through a whirlwind of emotions, some that I can’t even remember.  I had so many questions;  What did I do wrong?  What was he thinking?  why did he leave me?  Someone once told me that people that complete suicide are selfish - I’m not sure I agree.  Once someone is gone, it is easy to contemplate what they were thinking, and only think about the mess they left you with, and the struggles ahead.  But isn’t that selfish?  I mean this person just took their own life - I can’t imagine how they came to that conclusion, but I can only believe and hope it was not an easy one.  I quickly learned that I was the selfish one......I was so obsessed with why he chose to do this to me, but soon realized that he did this to himself; it was not about me.  That is hard to accept.  

When I talked to friends or family, they always told me “I know how you feel.”  Those words used to make me so angry. How did they know? They weren’t in my head, they didn’t find him in this horrible state, they didn’t lose the love of their life. They were able to go home at night. I had to go anywhere but home.  I began to get so bummed about that answer to my thoughts, I realized I needed help understanding the emotions I was going through.  I started seeing a therapist that helped me learn that everything I was experiencing was “normal.”  She told me that only I would know how to push through the sadness and learn how to grow.  Sometimes when I went to see her we never even talked about Zeke.  We would talk about the most random things - shopping, wine, going to the gym, work and sometimes the news.  At one of our meetings she said “I’m not going to let you avoid the subject, we need to talk about him.”  It was the first time that I broke down crying in front of anyone.  I’m not one that usually feels comfortable crying.  I don’t like people to see me that way.  I was surprised by my reaction, but I felt so much better.  I guess that sometimes when you keep things bottled up, those feelings can come out even stronger than ever.  I’m glad that it happened with her; she helped me open up and finally speak about what was going on in my head.

It is coming up on the anniversary of Zeke’s death, and I’m not sure what I will do.  I used to hang with friends and take way too many shots of tequila.  Probably over the past month, I have realized that I am drinking way too much.  I think I drink to hide my pain; I still miss him.  Wow, that is the first time I have admitted that.  At first I used to sleep with one of his dirty tee shirts so that I could have his scent with me; it helped me a bunch.  Then the smell went away.  After that I would drink to sleep.  The only way I could fall asleep was if I just passed out drunk.  It really wasn’t until lately that I thought I had a purpose without him.  It has taken me awhile to realize that.  Zeke inspired me to be creative.  We used to bounce off of each other's artistic abilities.  It was so funny when we would be getting ready to go out for an evening and we would be “that couple,” the ones that were dressed alike.  I used to tell him he had to back and change.  I used to paint, write, build, and design.  After his death, I had a hard time even picking up a paint brush, I didn’t know how to hold it in my hand.  Now I am slowly learning to keep his spirit in my heart, and create again.  I started writing down plans, sketching furniture, and painting pictures.  I used to be so on-the-go and not have time for anything, but now I am slowing down and doing things that are more fulfilling in my life.  So, I think that this January 5th, I am going to finish my projects I have started.  I am building a window seat box out of what used to be our bed, Zeke had built us a platform bed.  I will have it filled with his stuff and have a special place for me to sit and think about him, and be inspired.  I think I finally have been able to re-focus my energy into how to be happy, how to be me, without him.  I probably will stick to one of my rituals, visiting him at 1st street; bringing him a sunflower, and telling him I love him.   Then I will go back home and pick up my paint brush......I think I know how again.

- Nicole Orsargos

Comments (62) | Posted in General, Journal by jamie tworkowski

i was in Virginia Thursday to speak at Old Dominion University in Norfolk. i got in early and had the chance to spend a few hours with my friend Nicole. Well, she feels like a friend now but the truth is i'd never met her before Thursday. Some of you have heard me talk or write about my friend Zeke, who died by suicide in January 2006. Zeke and i worked together at Hurley. Well, Zeke lived in Virginia Beach and Nicole was his girlfriend of more than three years when he died. She was the one who found him.

i'd traded emails with Nicole in recent weeks but never met her in person. We met for lunch on Thursday. i told her i wanted to eat where the locals eat and so she suggested a place by the Inlet. i pulled up a few minutes before her and the first thing i noticed was the word "Zeke" spray-painted on a wall near the restaurant's entrance. Zeke died over three and a half years ago and yet it was clear in that first moment that he has not been forgotten. 

As we ate, i asked Nicole a lot of questions about Zeke. He was good at everything. We smiled at the stories. She spoke of his quiet pain, unknown to most. i asked about the days since he died, how has she recovered, how has she survived... She spoke with strength and grace.  She said she's different now, doesn't buy "busy" as a way of life, says she's learned to slow down, to pause for the things that matter, for people and moments and conversations. She talked about her incredible friends and about going to counseling.

After lunch, i asked if she might show me around town - show me the places that were Zeke's, help me know his story. She said she would be happy to. We stood on the boardwalk at First Street, watching the cold waves break - Zeke was a great surfer and this was his. She pointed to the plaque on the end of the jetty, placed in the silence of the night, Zeke's friends saying his memory would stay with them always. 

She explained Virginia Beach, the surf shops and the bars and the characters that make it. She showed me the house that they shared. "We built a home together," she told me. 

That night, Nicole joined me on stage at Old Dominion, and for the first time ever, she spoke her story into a microphone. It was incredibly brave. Afterwards, people lined up to meet her, to thank her, to share what they found in her words. 

As we stood in the parking lot at the end of the night, she told me she was blown away, by the confessions that she heard, so many young people sharing their stories. i thanked her, said her words had been a gift for all of us in the room, encouraged her to keep sharing them.  She said she would like that.

i wish i could bring him back, this man she loved, this friend to so many... But the weight of suicide is it's permanence. Each of us, we are thousands of moments and choices and days. Zeke walked away from all of it that night in January.

We are left with the questions, with the weight of all the memories. The only sense that i can make of it is that Nicole now has a story to tell, that her words will serve as a gift to other people, her scars suggesting that they are not alone in their wounds, not alone in their questions and their remembering...  

Today is National Survivors of Suicide Day. If you've lost someone that you love, then we stand with you today. We say it matters, their story and yours, and we join you to remember. Please know that you are not alone.

To learn more about National Survivors of Suicide Day, please CLICK HERE.

Peace to you today.

jamie

PS: i wrote this a couple days after Zeke died, in January 2006...

Zeke Sanders: You Were Loved.

Comments (37) | Posted in General, Journal by jamie tworkowski

Steven Smith of Fuse talks storytelling, branding, technology, touring and more with TWLOHA's Jamie Tworkowski, Charity:Water's Phillip Crosby and Invisible Children's Alex Collins during CMJ 2009 in NYC. Zach Williams brings the music.

Music for Good (CMJ Panel) from To Write Love on Her Arms. on Vimeo.

Comments (2) | Posted in General, Music by Chris Youngblood

Comments (21) | Posted in General, Journal, Music by jamie tworkowski

December 4th and 5th we will be bringing MOVE to Toronto, ON and we would like to invite you to be a part of it. Our MOVE community conferences are two day events where we look more in depth at some of the issues TWLOHA addresses. It is an effort to begin a conversation that battles stigma and shame with honesty and compassion. Led by professional counselors Aaron and Michelle Moore and some of the TWLOHA staff, attendees will gain a better understanding of what is behind these struggles, what drives them, what recovery looks like and how we can make a difference. Our hope is that you leave encouraged, inspired, and informed. MOVE conferences are done in a limited size, allowing for difficult topics to be presented and discussed in a personal setting which lends to more dynamic interaction between participants and staff. It has been this interaction and format that has made the MOVE conferences impacting for those who have attended. We would love for you to come and join us!

Click here for more info on registration.

MOVE Community Conference from To Write Love on Her Arms. on Vimeo.

Comments (9) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hey Guys.

Each week, Lindsay from our team sends an email to the entire TWLOHA team. When we open this email, it's a time to reflect on some of the messages and emails that have come in over the last few days. Some of the messages are heavy and hard to read. Others are full of hope and encouragement. Life is both and everything in between. 

Lindsay sends these messages to remind us of our mission, the heart of the matter. Each week, as we read the messages she includes, we're reminded where this started and we're reminded why we do what we do.

Today,  "TWLOHA Day", is one that our team didn't come up with. We don't know a lot about it, to be honest - not sure where it came from or how it spread to so many people. But perhaps that's been true for much of our story - we've seen the best of passion and communication. We've seen people share and build something beautiful together. 

With today in mind, i want to share one of the messages that Lindsay sent to us yesterday:

"My name is Taylor and I am 22 years old. I have been an addict for the past six years of my life and have been looking at getting into rehab for awhile now. I should be checking in sometime this week I am just waiting for my federal aid to come in. I wanted to thank you guys for doing what you do and being there. I haven't personally ever talked to anyone with your organization but my sister heard about it somehow. My sister is 18 years old and has never used a day in her life. Ever since I started using I haven't been there for her and we kind of live two completely seperate lives. We haven't gotten along. Today my sister picked me up from my house and said she had a surprise for me. We went and got love tattooed on our arms. She  has never had a tattoo so this was a big step for her. She started crying, I haven't seen real emotion from my sister in a long long time. She told me what you guys were about and expressed what she has felt about my use and the way I have made her feel. I made a promise to her to stay clean, something I have never said to anyone. Every time I look down at my arm it will remind me of what a commitment my sister has made to me and to helping me stay clean. I just wanted to thank you guys for helping her understand and helping her accept me and not frown upon me. Your organization has really made an impact on both of our lives and I really wanted to express my gratitude." 

Thank you so much for what you guys do everyday and what your organization will continue to do for so many people, you guys really do save lifes. 

Thank you so much. 

All the love and respect in the world."

If you decide to write the word "love" on your arm today, please remember the heart of the matter. The goals were never "cute" or "fashion". Our title, "to write love on her arms", was born as a goal and it remains a goal. We're inviting people to fight for their lives and for the lives of their friends. We're inviting people to believe better things. 

If you want to help us spread the word about hope and help, we would be honored. If you want to tell people that they need other people, that every story matters - again, we would be honored. We say these things because we believe them to be true, and because too many people live alone under other lies.  

Let's continue to fight to figure out what this word "love" means. Let's aim for how it looks and how it sounds - maybe something like humility and confidence and kindness, maybe honesty and compassion... 

We're in all these things together. It's bigger than cute and louder than fashion. 

Thanks always for your support.

You matter very much.

jamie and the entire TWLOHA team

PS: Switchfoot is performing on Jimmy Kimmel tonight.

PS2: If you're anywhere near NYC, then we would love to see you at 1:30pm tomorrow (Friday) at Washington Square Park in Manhattan, for a very special photo shoot. Feel free to email nyc@twloha.com if you have any questions.

Comments (121) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

Hey Guys,

We posted a blog a couple days ago inviting anyone who could make it to NYC this Saturday for a photo shoot. You can read the full blog here.

Here's the update: Due to weather this weekend, the NYC photo shoot has been moved to Friday (11/13). The plan is 1:30pm at Washington Square Park. Meet at the Arch!

There's a form you need to fill out if you want to participate in the shoot. If you send an email to nyc@twloha.com, we'll send you the form.

Here's the fine print: You don't get paid and your name won't appear in the magazine. But there's a chance you will get to be part of a group photograph that will appear in the magazine.

We're excited to have you be a part of this and hope you can make it out.

Comments (4) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

We believe in stories. TWLOHA is perhaps a lot of things but among those, it's the story of a story that grew to be something more. Along the way, we've been given the opportunity to talk about things that millions struggle with but few talk about. It's a story of secrets shared and conversations over coffee and why songs matter. We've seen surprising doors open and most importantly, we've seen people find hope and help.

Another surprising door has opened... We can't reveal all the details but we would like to invite you into it:

A well-known photographer is taking some pictures next Saturday in New York City. The pictures are for a story that a magazine is doing on TWLOHA. The magazine is a pretty special magazine and it's safe to say that the story is a big one.

They want to take a picture of me and i asked if i could invite you and they said okay. It's going to happen in Manhattan. We don't know exactly where or what time just yet but we will know those details soon. There's a form you need to fill out if you want to participate in the shoot. If you send an email to nyc@twloha.com, we'll send you the form and we'll send you the info (when/where) as well. 

Here's the fine print: You don't get paid and your name won't appear in the magazine. But there's a chance you will get to be part of a group photograph that will appear in the magazine.

Also, we will hang out and we will drink hot chocolate.

Hope to see you Saturday in NYC. More info soon. Again, nyc@twloha.com is the address to write to if you're interested in being part of the photo shoot.

Peace to you.

jamie

PS / Update: The shoot will take place this Saturday at 12 NOON in Washington Square Park. 

Comments (15) | Posted in General, Journal by jamie tworkowski

Jamie talks Woodie Awards, gets a sweet pair of headphones and has a tough time introducing himself...

Comments (13) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

When we woke up to get ready for the Out of the Darkness Walk in Cocoa Beach, it was still dark outside.  We loaded up in the van to go to the park. The walk was sponsored by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.  We checked in and met Angela, the woman who organized the walk for our area.  She wore a button on her shirt with a smiling young woman with long auburn hair on it.  It’s her sister Carla—she died by suicide two years ago.  Today, her family walked for her. We did too.

 
Memory boards covered one picnic table.  It was a place for attendees to write special messages to friends and family lost to suicide. This is a message to a father:

 

Before beginning the walk, Angela gathered everyone together.  She shared the story of her sister’s long battle against depression.  She talked about how important it is that we reach out to others, to make it real when we say “you are not alone.”  She stressed the importance of medication and therapy.  She said her family wanted to do this walk in an effort to help people like their sister.  With a group of no more than thirty-five people, together, we set out to walk three miles, half on the sidewalk along the road, half on the beach.  The sun had been rising in the sky, and the light was erasing the darkness.

We walked for the memories.
We walked for the families.
We walked for the names on our banner posted to the memory board. 
We walked for the woman on the beach who lost her brother to suicide.
We walked with the family who lost their father two months ago.
We walked with the woman who lost her father thirteen years ago to suicide, who attempted to take her own life seven years ago. 
We walked so that we don’t forget.
We walked because we are all connected.
We walked to let our stories come together, to tell a greater story of hope.
Yes, we walked for HOPE.



It was an honor to be a part of such an intimate setting, walking with such a freshness of healing.  We are grateful to have been there, to literally walk through this with people in our community. We entered the walk among strangers, and left with friends, left with people who truly cared for one another, left with encouragement that we are doing the right thing. We left in the light.

so much love.
whitney
fall 09 intern

Comments (53) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hey Guys,

Exciting news and quite the surprise: We found out this week that TWLOHA founder Jamie Tworkowski has been nominated for a 2009 mtvU Woodie Award - it's the "Good Woodie" award and he's up against Alicia Keys, John Legend, Wyclef Jean, Kenna and Ra Ra Riot. According to MTV, the Good Woodie "is the award for the artist whose commitment to a social cause has effected the greatest change this year."





- CLICK HERE TO VOTE NOW!

- Keep voting - there's no limit to how many times you can vote between now and Nov. 16

- Help spread the word (tell, talk, blog, tweet, etc)

- Add this banner to your MySpace page:



Add this banner to your page:
<a href="http://www.mtv.com/ontv/woodieawards/2009/good-woodie/" target="new"><img src="http://www.twloha.com/files/library/woodiestbanner.gif" width="500" height="100" border="0" /></a>

- Click here to add the "Vote" twibbon to your Twitter default.

- Add the Woodie background to your Twitter page.

As Jamie said, we're here because of your voice and your support. It means more than you know - thanks for being incredible.

Comments (6) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hey Guys,

For those active in the field of Mental Health, Fall is the season dedicated to Suicide Prevention. Over the past three years, TWLOHA has been privileged to be part of ongoing conversations on topics such as suicide that often are not talked about. We’ve been on the receiving end of countless stories that demand not only an emotional response, but also a tangible response. We are moved by the fact that suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death for young Americans. We are challenged with knowing that suicide is the most preventable form of death. These facts require attention, action, and conversation.

By being a part in these conversations, we developed a friendship with the National Hopeline, which runs the network many recognize as 1-800-SUICIDE. This free and confidential service has been operating for 11 years now and has answered over three million phone calls. Three million lives that in a moment of courage and confession reached out for help. Three million people reminded that their life matters and their story is important. Three million stories that might have ended too soon.

Last year we launched a campaign to help pay 1-800-SUICIDE’s phone bill and ensure that their legacy of hope would continue. This year we are taking the commitment a step further and helping 1-800-SUICIDE along with PostSecret produce the first ever Suicide Prevention Music Tour featuring Blue October. The month long venture is called the Pick Up The Phone Tour. It is one thing to write checks, but what is closest to our hearts is proactively meeting people where they are. Keeping our vision in mind, proceeds from this tour will be going towards developing a new online chat network called IM Alive (Instant Message Alive) which will work much like 1-800-SUICIDE: free and confidential.

The tour will be starting with a conversation, that you are invited to, on Capitol Hill in Washington D.C. on October 21st. Justin Furstenfeld of Blue October along with Reese Butler, founder of 1-800-SUICIDE, will be addressing Congress on these issues. If you want to be a part of this first day and acoustic set, please visit PUTP.org and reply to the RSVP at the bottom of the page (while the event is free, the space is limited). Tickets are on sale now at PUTP.org for all the other dates as well as brand new Pick Up the Phone shirts. We can’t wait to join you for these nights of hope and healing, but even if you cannot join us on the tour, we would encourage you to check out the shirt and start conversations in your own community.

For more information on the tour and what we believe about these issues, please check out our PSA below. We are really excited about this video and we hope that you will help us share it. It’s a combination of Jamie’s words, James Earl Jones' voice, video work by our friend Dustin Miller, and dozens of caring strangers that all came together in about two days… and we could not be more proud of the finished product.



See you on the road.
With hope,
Chad

Comments (12) | Posted in Music by Chris Youngblood

Today, while reading the liner notes for The Avett Brothers new album, i came across a mission statement.  Non-profits are supposed to have mission statements but i'd never seen one from a band.  The words are meant to explain some other words, the album's brave title, "I and Love and You". i found it all brilliant and wanted to share it with you.

Peace to you.

jamie

"The words "I" and "Love" and "You" are the watermark of humanity. Strung together, they convey our deepest sense of humility, of power, of truth. It is our most common sentiment, even as the feeling of it is so infinitely uncommon: each to proclaim these three words with his or her very own heart and mindset of reason (or lack thereof); a proclamation completely and perfectly new each time it is offered. Uttered daily and nightly by millions, the words are said in an unending array of circumstances : whispered to a newborn in a mothers arms; shared between best friends on the playground; in the form of sympathy - said by a girl to a boy, as the respect continues but the relationship does not. It is said too loudly by parents to embarassed children in the company of their friends, and by grown children - to their fading parents in hospital beds. The words are thought in the company of the photograph and said in the company of the gravestone. It is how we end our phone calls and our letters... the words at the bottom of the page that trump all those above it, a way to gracefully finish a message, however important or trivial, with the most meaningful gifl of all : the communication of love. And yet the words themselves have been the victims of triviality, a ready replacement for lesser salutations among near strangers, burst forth casually as "love ya." Truly? To what degree? Why, how much, and for how long? These are questions befitting of the stature of love, though not the everyday banter of vague acquaintance. The words have also been twisted by the dark nature of deceit : To say "I love you" with a dramatic measure of synthetic emotion; a snare set by those who prey uponn fellow humanity, driven to whatever selfish end, to gain access to another's body, or their money, or their opportunity. In this realm, the proclamation is disgraced by one seeking to gain rather than to give. In any case, and by whatever inspiration, these words are woven deeply in to the fibers of our existence. Our longing to hear them from the right place is maddeningly and simultaneously our finest strength and our most gentle weakness.The album "I and Love and You" is inashamedly defined by such a dynamic of duality. As living people, we are bound by this unavoidable parallel. We are powerful yet weak, capable yet temporary. Inevitably, an attempt to place honesty within an artistic avenue will follow suit. This is a piece which shows us as we are : products of love surrounded by struggle. The music herein is, in many ways, readable as both a milestone and an arrival. A chapter in the story of young men, it bridges the space between the uncertainty of youth and the reality of it's release. The record is full with the quality of the question and response. As far as questions go, there are plenty-normally residing within the tone and delivery of the lyrics themselves, which, ironically, are sung with so much confidence. Among songs and thoughts so driven and purposeful, the most basic relatable doubt comes through with a resounding clarity. Outside of the eternal theme of romantic love, the album speaks thankfully upon a landscape of light-filled rooms, word-filled pages, time machines, forgiveness, singing birds, ocean waves, art, change, confessions of shortcomings, and reasons to continue on. Hope and a cause for smiling follow naturally. In the midst of all this, there are allusions to the less-than-ideal conditions of life : the loss of memory, the inability to control temper, insecurity, indecision, jaded indifference, and the general plague of former and current weakness. "I and Love and You" is an album of obvious human creation, chracterized by it's best and it's worst. Emotional imperfection is a reality for those who recorded the piece, just as it is for those who will hear it. The conclusion of the song from which the title is taken admits that the words "I love you" have become "hard to say". And perhaps that difficulty is as common as it's counterpart. Perhaps the inability to say these heaviest of words is as much a part of life as the lighthearted candor of those who say them without any difficulty at all. And so it ends with the phrase whispered to and by those of us most defeated and most elated... I and love and you."

 - The Avett Brothers

 PS: You can hear "I and Love and You" (the song) along with new songs from Paramore, Switchfoot, Paper Route, Athlete, Ryan Adams and Noah Gundersen on our MySpace playlist. We just added these today...

Comments (18) | Posted in General, Music by jamie tworkowski

We were going to post a blog today. Instead, we decided to try something a little different. The image below is an attempt to include you in the process. (click image to enlarge)



We hope you guys can make it. We hope that you might even go as faras to get together with friends and with family and watch together. Ultimately, we hopethat when the cameras turn off, you keep talking.

Click here to watch the live webcast on October 5th at 8PM EST. Music by Damion Suomi and Andy Zipf. To join the conversation, send all questions and comments via Twitter by starting your Tweets with @TWLOHA. You can also help promote the webcast by posting the banner below on your page or making it your profile picture.



Add this banner to your page:
&lt;a href="http://img43.imageshack.us/i/webcastslide3.jpg/"&gt;&lt;img src="http://img43.imageshack.us/img43/194/webcastslide3.jpg" alt="Image Hosted by ImageShack.us" border="0" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;

Comments (10) | Posted in General, Music by Chris Youngblood

Hey Guys.

A few months back, i got the chance to spend a couple hours with Mike Shea in New York City. Mike is the founder of Alternative Press Magazine and we had a good time getting to know each other over lunch in Union Square and a long city stroll. Mike and i swapped stories about AP and TWLOHA and music and mutual friends and all sorts of stuff. Somewhere in there, we talked about ways to work together and he asked if i had any ideas. i told him that i would love to write... He asked what i'd want to write about and i told him i wasn't sure but that i'd love to be honest and that i'd do my best to challenge people and encourage people. i told him that basically, TWLOHA is an attempt to get to the heart of things, to remind people that they're alive and that life is worth living and perhaps that there are things that need to be said and things we're supposed to fight for.

Well... My first article for AltPress went up today and i'd love for you to check it out. (i must warn you that it's a little bit spicy...) Our hope is that if the response to the online article is good, then they may invite me to write for the (print) magazine.  If you dig the article, feel free to comment, let AP know, etc.  Thanks for walking with me as the journey continues.

Click here to check out the article on AltPress.com

Peace to you from NYC, where Fall is starting to happen.
: )
jamie

Comments (7) | Posted in General, Music by jamie tworkowski

The world changed on September 11, 2001 and with that, we are the 9/11 generation. We will tell our kids and our grandkids where we were and what we saw and what we felt. For most of us, it was something that we watched on television but for others, it was the day they lost more than peace and comfort. The reality is that a lot of people lost fathers and sisters and sons. We can build back the buildings but we can't replace the lives that were lost on 9/11. 

Our thoughts and prayers go out to those who lost loved ones eight years ago today. We're sorry beyond words for the people that you lost.

Today, we join you in remembering.

Peace to you.

jamie

Comments (40) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

What comes to mind when you hear the words "Suicide Prevention"?

Is it really possible to prevent suicide?

We know it isn't simple. We know it isn't easy. But we do believe in hope and we do believe in help, and we believe that people need other people. And if those ideas are real and true, then we believe that it is possible to prevent suicide.

And we don't think it's a work only for the experts. We believe there's a part for all of us to play, that perhaps suicide prevention begins in countless simple miracles every single day. Perhaps it starts with two friends sitting down for coffee... And one of them asks "How are you doing". Perhaps it starts when we choose to live less alone, when we choose to let people in - to know us, to love us, to walk alongside us. Call it "community" or call it the way things are supposed to be. We're willing to say that suicide prevention starts there - it starts when we're willing to talk, willing to ask the hard question, willing to say the honest thing. Maybe the bravest move we'll ever make it to ask for help. Or ask how we can help someone we love.

Maybe it starts when we push back at the stereotype and the lies that fuel the stigma that says pain is something we're not allowed to talk about, or that pain is for people a certain age who dress a certain way and like a certain song. Those are lies. The truth is that pain is part of being human. The questions will continue to come. We all get stuck in moments. The good news is that there is also hope and love and change. The good news is that we were meant for friends. The good news is counseling and treatment. The good news is that we don't have to go alone.

 "Suicide Prevention."

 What's your part to play? We're all invited. Smile at someone, know someone, say something, ask the question, make the call, take the drive.  Every life is priceless and fragile. We get to guard and fight and care, for the people around us.  There are plenty of things to fight about and for over the course of our lives - let's remember that people are the most important thing, the brightest surprises on the planet. Let's remember that every single person has a story entirely unique and incredibly important, but not everyone can see it. And what a privilege that we get to do our best to remind and invite people, to believe better things, to believe that it's possible to change, to believe that life is worth living...

We're not saying that it's easy. But we're saying that it's worth it.

Love is the movement. Thank you for caring.
jamie

Click here for more info on World Suicide Prevention Day.

For more info and statistics on suicide from the World Health Organization, click here

Comments (54) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

You are going to move through this.

Comments (232) | Posted in General, Journal by jamie tworkowski

Hey Guys.

Our friend Stuart was here last week, visiting from Glasgow, Scotland. He spent a few days with our team, helping us daydream about the future of TWLOHA in the United Kingdom. Stuart will be working with our friend Olivia to make some things happen there very soon. Keep an eye on www.twloha.com for details.

On that note, we're excited to announce that TWLOHA will have a booth at Greenbelt Festival, where our friends in Athlete are among the headliners. Greenbelt is happening this weekend in England. There will be TWLOHA info and merch available, and we hope you'll say hello to Olivia from our team. Also, if you're interested in getting involved, Olivia would be a great person to connect with.

Comments (13) | Posted in General, Merch, Music by jamie tworkowski

Hello everyone, 

My name is Denny and I am the TWLOHA UChapter Coordinator. I have been a TWLOHA staff member for 1 1/2 years. Last fall, the idea was created to develop TWLOHA student-lead organizations on university campuses, beginning in the United States. This fall, the idea is being realized when 14 colleges will be representing TWLOHA as the first ever TWLOHA UChapters.  

All of this is very exciting for our team. We believe TWLOHA UChapters is part of the future in causing real, tangible change in community settings at a local and global level. Not one movement has occurred in the U.S. without college students being at the forefront, protesting change and interacting with culture in a new way, forcing even the government to listen. If stigmas, which represent a form of contemporary slavery, are going to be overthrown and replaced by a new regime of honesty and openness on university campuses (and beyond), there must be a voice from within the university body. The voice must be provocative and creative, growing from within the lives of students who care. 

To be honest, we don't know where this will go and we don't know exactly what change to expect or how this change will look. We do know there are students who have gifts and desires that MUST be used as leverage against a society that struggles to find places of honesty and understanding. So in many ways, UChapters is TWLOHA's response to the response of students. Essentially, UChapters are groups on college campuses who embody the values which underlie TWLOHA's vision and mission. They will reflect TWLOHA, therein imaging the heart of TWLOHA. Each UChapter will serve on their college campus and within their local community. Through building community, we believe UChapters can organize gatherings, cultivate awareness, and create a network that actively raises funds and reaches people with a message of hope and help.

Personally, I have tasted this hope and help that can only be found in community. I know what it feels like to move from death to life and then to use the brokenness as a source of redemption for others. Universities are filled with brokenness and stories of hope that must be reconciled. It is estimated that more than 1,000 U.S. college students die by suicide each year. Death by suicide is the second leading cause of death among college students. 1 in 12 have created a suicide plan. 90% had a psychiatric disorder at the  time of death; 60% of those having severe depression. 10% of college students have been diagnosed with depression disorder, the majority of which never receive treatment. Yet in the face of these despairing figures, since 1994, suicide rates among 15-24 year olds has decreased 28.5%. We believe TWLOHA UChapters will be a means to even more change. 

With 15 UChapters already launching this fall, we hope to launch another 15 for the spring. If you are a college student, or are about to be one, and desire to either connect with an established UChapter on your campus or help start one, you can email chapters@twloha.com and we will send you further information. Below is the list of active UChapters for this fall:    

1. Columbia College, Chicago 
2. University of South Alabama
3.  Bloomsburg University, Pennsylvania 
4.  University of Northern Iowa
5.  Ithaca College, New York
6.  South East Missouri State University 
7.  Texas Tech University 
8.  Oklahoma State University 
9.   University of Texas-Austin
10. Manchester College, Indiana 
11. UMASS-Lowell, Massachusetts
12. University of Florida 
13. Miami University, Ohio
14.  Virginia Commonwealth University

With Hope, 

Comments (24) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

Today was a beautiful day.

Today I had the pleasure of having conversations that really matter. Sometimes I forget how blessed I am to be part of this movement—that not all organizations value stories to the point that they’ll allow for you to silence your phone, close your laptop and shut your mouth in the middle of a workday to listen and learn from another. I am thankful that in our office we are able to practice what we preach, to listen when needed, and share from the core of our being.

This morning I got to hear about the passions of a witty Scottish fellow. Our friend Stuart is currently visiting us from Scotland and has big dreams to make our presence in the UK a greater reality, and to impact those who wouldn’t naturally cross paths with To Write Love on Her Arms.

This afternoon I got to have lunch with my friend Justin. We smiled and laughed, and later shared some about hard realities as we sat behind office desks and wondered about the pain that comes with honesty and figuring out next steps.

This evening I ended my workday chatting with an author I admire; I was sitting at a desk in Cocoa, FL and he behind one in Portland, OR. It's so rare to read an author's work and also be able to exchange words in real-time. His name is Brian Doyle and he has an art for capturing truth with simple beauty and honesty. Last week I decided to email Jamie one of my favorite pieces of his, “Two Hearts.” I did this because Jamie recently gave each of our interns a copy of Rob Bell’s newest book, Drops Like Stars, as they leave us for summer and return to their communities to continue living out our mission and movement at home.

Rob’s website says, “It is the difficult and the unexpected, and maybe even the tragic, that opens us up and frees us to see things in new ways. Many of the most significant moments in our lives come not because it all went right but because it all fell apart. Suffering does that. It hurts, but it also creates.”

Today was a day in believing in stories, in the idea that confession and passion and honesty and forgiveness matter so much, but that questions and pain are a part of this growth process as well, part of the process of creating something new within each of us. And sitting here now, I can’t help but wonder if any of those rich conversations I got to have today has a greater significance.

Jamie and I wanted to share Brian’s story with you guys… So, take a few minutes to read it, enjoy it, and wrestle with it. Brian shares our belief that stories matter, and encouraged me over the phone that we should all strive to become better listeners and “story catchers” in our daily lives.

We hope your day feels beautiful.

Love.
Kaitlyn

---

Two Hearts

By Brian Doyle 
from God is Love

Some months ago my wife delivered twin sons one minute apart. The older is Joseph and the younger is Liam. Joseph is dark and Liam is light. Joseph is healthy and Liam is not. Joseph has a whole heart and Liam has half. This means that Liam will have two major surgeries before he is three years old.

I have read many pamphlets about Liam's problem. I have watched many doctors' hands drawing red and blue lines on pieces of white paper. They are trying to show me why Liam's heart doesn't work properly. I watch the markers in the doctors' hands. Here comes red, there goes blue. The heart is a railroad station where the trains are switched to different tracks. A normal heart switches trains flawlessly tow billion times in a life; in an abnormal heart, like Liam's, the trains crash and the station crumbles to dust.

So there are many nights now when I tuck Liam and his wheezing train station under my beard in the blue hours of night and think about his Maker. I would kill the god who sentence him to such awful pain, I would stab him in the heart like he stabbed my son, I would shove my fury in his face like a fist, but I know in my own broken heart that this same god made my magic boys, shaped their apple faces and coyote eyes, put joy in the eager suck of their mouths. So it is that my hands are not clenched in anger but clasped in confused and merry and bitter prayer.

I talk to God more than I admit, "Why did you break my boy?" I ask.

I gave you that boy, he says, and his lean brown brother, and the elfin daughter you love so.

"But you wrote death on his heart," I say.

I write death on all hearts, he says, just as I write life.

This is where the conversation always ends and I am left holding the extraordinary awful perfect prayer of my second son, who snores like a seal, who might die tomorrow, who did not die today.

(A happy update: Brian shared with me that Liam is alive and well today; he’s a healthy 14-year-old!)

Comments (13) | Posted in Journal by Kaitlyn Suveg

Professional surfer C.J. Hobgood (currently ranked #2 in the world, his twin brother Damien is #5) grew up with TWLOHA founder Jamie Tworkowski in Brevard County, FL. In this video, C.J. talks about his own struggles and what he's found in beginning to invite other people into his story. He talks about his connection to TWLOHA and why he believes in the mission of the organization.

Comments (5) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

Here's a great video of our friend Damion Suomi talking about his music and where he's been and where he's going.

Comments (1) | Posted in General, Music by jamie tworkowski

Comments (16) | Posted in General, Journal by jamie tworkowski

Comments (30) | Posted in Merch, Music by jamie tworkowski

We have a new friend called Craig Owens. He sings in a band called Chiodos. We have a new tank top called Filled. They've been hanging out lately. We tried to think of a better name for Filled but we just couldn't do it. We should have asked you because you probably have a better idea...

Anyway, the purpose of this blog is to let you know that our new Filled tank is available on Warped and it's also available in the TWLOHA Online Store. It's hot in half the world right now so Filled has been making lots of friends. Craig has been stopping by our tent lately and he seems to have a lot of friends as well. 

We hope you have a great day. We hope to see you soon.
jamie

PS: We also have new stickers. Big ones, small ones, ones for cars... You'll find those in the Promote section of the Online Store.

Comments (4) | Posted in Merch, Music by jamie tworkowski

This past Saturday, I got to experience my very first Warped Tour! A few of us from the office and a couple interns travelled down to West Palm Beach to meet up with our Warped team so we could meet supporters and get a taste of life on the road. We ended up staying the night after we packed up that day, spending time with some of the other members of our team that night.

Sunday we slept in, got to hang-out poolside at our hotel and eat ice cream (a very fun, girly get-away). While we were laying in the sun, Jamie’s younger sister Jessica rolled onto her side and began to tell Lindsay (our Intern Coordinator) and me the story of a woman named Mary. I was on the edge of my seat, drawn into this woman’s story with tears in my eyes and goosebumps all over my skin. You know those moments you hear a story of truth and love and know that it’s real and that it tells a greater story? That’s Mary’s story.

Lindsay told Jess she needed to write about her experience, and Jess responded by laughing, saying, “Jamie’s the writer in this family, not me.” I told her that she absolutely needed to write it, and that I would help her with the tricky grammar stuff (which, wasn’t much). We all have stories to tell, and I knew that Jess’ story would resonate with each of you. So, enjoy.

Love.

Kaitlyn 

---

There is a reason and purpose for every festival or event we do. Sometimes we know the reason in advance. Sometimes we have to do a little searching. Other times that reason finds us.

Last Saturday was your typical summer afternoon in Florida, hot and muggy in the morning and a downpour in the afternoon. Music was blaring from the Kevin Says Stage not far from where we were set up. People embraced the rain and started dancing, or they ran for shelter under one of the tents nearby.

As the rain started, a woman came up to our tent and asked what we did. Over the noise of the rain and the loud music, I leaned forward so she could hear me; I told her about all of the issues we were there to raise awareness about. Immediately her eyes filled with tears. Something I said hit home. Was it the word suicide? Was it the word depression? I walked around the table and immediately hugged her. I didn’t know what she had been through. All I knew is that she was the reason we were there. We came for Mary.

Through her tears, she then told me her brother had committed suicide six weeks ago. In addition, her sister has been struggling with self-injury by burning herself. Since she had never heard of TWLOHA before, I asked her what made her approach our booth. She said that she read the top of our tent. She read the words, TO WRITE LOVE ON HER ARMS, and said all she knew is that she wanted that for her sister.  A funny sounding phrase for most made all the sense in the world to her.

She asked where our name came from. She asked if Renee was still alive today, and the moment I told her “yes” gave her all the reason in the world to keep fighting for her sister. I heard her tell her friend that if Renee was okay then one day her sister could be okay too.

I don’t think Mary came to Warped Tour thinking she’d find hope or a group of people already fighting the fight she’d been struggling with the last six weeks. I’m not really sure why she went. I know why we went though. We went for her. We went to give her hope through conversation, through resources, through information we had available. And we’ll continue to go to events for Mary, for people with a story all their own, for you.

Your story matters. And you are loved in this moment.

Jessica  : )

Comments (30) | Posted in General by Kaitlyn Suveg

Comments (36) | Posted in General by Kaitlyn Suveg

Hey guys!

Jamie has asked me to introduce myself, and I’m excited to be able do so. My name is Kaitlyn, and I am looking forward to getting to share with you over the next couple of months. Let me tell you a bit about why I’m here…

I’m studying Social Work at The Florida State University in Tallahassee, FL. This summer, I am working with TWLOHA’s internship program (which, by the way, is still accepting applications for this fall until July 10th – check out our News section for more info). I was awarded an Undergraduate Research and Creative Activity Award to conduct a research project, and I am exploring the use of creative expression in bringing about self-care and a sense of empowerment for people working in the mental health arena.

I love words. I love to write. One reason I love this organization so much is because of how we value stories – we say that they matter and we mean it. Personally, I believe that as we are able to explore our own voices and come to realize the power that comes with sharing our stories with others we move ever-closer toward change and healing, surrounded by people who “get us.” It is one thing to hear someone say, “You are important and what you have to say matters,” and it is something completely different to know it deep inside yourself. To own it.

At TWLOHA, we love our role of getting to share simple, honest, true statements from a platform that is capable of reaching so many – statements that pierce darkness, break through stigma and suffering, and creep into the darkest of situations and secrets, only to find themselves even truer still. This week, as Jamie speaks on a stage at Cornerstone Festival in Illinois, our Warped Tour team is trekking across Texas meeting some of you at our tent, and I’m sitting in a coffee shop in Central Florida writing to you. We are all communicating the same message: You are not alone. You are loved. You have a story to tell, and it matters.

It resonates, this message of hope.

What I am forever grateful for during my time here this summer is my ability to witness encouragement happening all around me, whether it’s in a vulnerable, heart-felt MySpace message, or in my writing workshop with our interns. This week, I asked the interns to write a few notes of encouragement for one-another in regards to each person’s writing style.  The stuff they shared about each other went way beyond syntax and their ability to breathe life onto a piece of paper. Their encouragement was validating, loving, honest and true. They spoke about one another’s character, insight, natural talents and passions as they were evidenced in writing; simple little lists of, “This, you do well. You are unique, valuable, special, and you have something important to share.”

By summer’s end, I’m looking forward to finishing up my project and hopefully adding some real, researched data to this idea that our stories matter and that hope and help are real – for all of us.

What I want to remind you about today is that each of us has the ability to encourage others in real-life; the tangible, the face-to-face. Why not call a friend today? Write a letter to a parent you’ve been fighting with. Hug someone and tell them you’re not giving up on them and that you love them. Join us in encouraging others to dream, to breathe deeply, to fill up their lungs with air and be fully alive, knowing they are fully loved.

I believe it all starts with words, and with you.

Love.
Kaitlyn

Comments (28) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hey Guys.

i am sitting at the coffee shop where i come when i'm home, the one that's not Starbucks, the one that plays good music and makes the town feel almost like a city... i have a theory that people go to coffee shops - well, i'm sure we go for coffee - but i think we go to feel less alone. i could write this in my room but i choose to drive across town to sit among the people. i might not talk to anyone but somehow it's better to be here...

It's been a busy week, a busy few weeks really. We've got lots going on, getting ready for the summer. Lots of design happening, lots of ideas and getting ready for Warped Tour...

i'm actually just writing to share some cool news and also to invite you. In the Spring of 2007, we were part of Anberlin's Cities tour. We were on the road for close to two months, all across America. On that tour, we got to know the guys from Bayside. Bayside is a rock and roll band from New York City. Growing up, i thought they were from my tiny town in Florida because they played here so much.

After the Anberlin tour, Bayside invited us to be part of their U.S. tour and then after that they invited us to spend the summer with them on Warped Tour. It's safe to say we spent most of '07 with them and it's no small thing for a band to share their stage or bunks on their bus. That's where they make their living and that's home.

Bayside's singer is Anthony Raneri and Anthony played our first "Heavy and Light" night at the Social in 2008. He came back to play it again this past January at House of Blues Orlando. And then we spent a couple weeks together in Australia, for Soundwave... All of that to say, Bayside has been incredibly generous and supportive, and Bayside has become part of the TWLOHA story. Anthony has become a friend and we take none of it lightly.

This brings us to now. Anthony is hitting the road for a short solo tour w/ Andy Jackson (Hot Rod Circuit) and he's invited me to speak at his solo shows in Gainesville and Orlando (Florida) next weekend. i'm honored and excited, and if i'm honest, a little bit nervous. Saturday night (6/20) we'll be at 1982 Bar in Gainesville and Sunday we'll be at Back Booth in downtown Orlando. Back Booth is special because i went there with Renee when i first met her, to see Band Marino. We took a photo in the photo booth that night and that photo made ended up on NBC Nightly News a few months back.

So Anthony is part of our story and Back Booth is part of our story and then it turns out that Sunday is Father's Day. As a lot of you know and remember, Father's Day is a day that matters to us... It's a day we've thought and talked a lot about. And then on top of all of that, there's this other thing. There's this other story that's bumping into ours and it's a big one. This other thing is a surprise and it's a weird one because it's connected to Sunday but we can't explain it until after Sunday... (You just sort of have to trust me that it's big and it's cool and eventually this will all make sense.)

Anyway, this is me inviting you to these two shows. On a certain level, they're small and on some other levels, they're huge and i suppose that's the case with almost every story. Anythony has a stage and he believes we have something important to say and so he lends us his stage and we go because there's going to be people in the room and people are the most important thing on the planet. (And then there's this other thing, this surprise, perhaps another stage...)

It would be really cool if you could help us spread the word and it would be the best if you could come. Beyond the speaking, some folks from our team will be hanging out and we would love to meet you...




TWLOHA.COM FOR INFO

Thank you and please have a great night.
We hope to see you soon.
: )
jamie

PS: Here's a really cool photo of Anthony's band Bayside at Bamboozle last month. Thank You to Jered Scott for sharing this photo with us.

Comments (11) | Posted in Music by jamie tworkowski

This was posted on PostSecret.com yesterday:

In response:
First, to the person who shared the secret and sent the card, thank you for what you shared. A lot of people feel less alone today because of your words. A lot of people can relate, because they live there too. They live with the jokes that aren't funny and the pain misunderstood. Thank you for speaking up, for pushing back.

Thank you for your support. Thanks for believing in this work we do, this message we're attempting to share. TWLOHA is a conversation and a journey and a story and my guess is that you believe because what is ours is also yours. It seems as people that we find a home in things that feel true. In moments and places where understanding somehow happens. There might be something magic in the possibility that we are not alone, that it wasn't meant to go that way. If you find any of those things in this, then please know that it's that thing we always say: that we're in this all together. Life and pain and dreams and stories. Even spread across a planet, we're not so different. We need other people. We need hope and help and reminders that things do move and shake and change.

Thanks for writing what a million people feel. That the jokes aren't funny. That a person's pain isnot a punch line. Not something to laugh about. Thanks for saying that ignorance isn't bliss - it's ugly.

It seems that you are on to the possibility that you deserve better, that you deserve to be put back together instead of torn apart. Wrapped in things that are true instead of lies. Shown pictures of hope instead of failure.

We do pray that the jokes would fade to silence, or perhaps a better minor miracle, that the ones that hunt for humor would find even better things - things like kindness and compassion. Grace and understanding. That they might learn and even learn to care. And we hope for those things because we hear the stories where it's happening. We hear the stories of people starting to believe better things, people getting help, friends learning what it means to be a friend...

We'll leave it with this...
If you struggle with self-injury, you are not "a cutter". You are a person. You are not only your pain. You are not only wounds and scars. You are also better things. You are possibility and promise, hope and healing, daydreams, favorite books and favorite songs. You are the people that you love and the people who love you. You are hope and change and things worth fighting for. This is all your story and your story isn't over.

Peace to you tonight.
jamie

PS: Before and as i wrote this, i reflected on Molly Jenson's song "Do You Only Love the Ones Who Look Like You", which features Jon Foreman of Switchfoot. You can hear the song on our MySpace or you can go say hello to Molly.

Comments (150) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

Take some time this weekend to remember. 

War is a very real thing. 

If you feel free or safe tonight, know that it has come and continues to come at the highest cost. 

Soldiers are people - they are us - and many have given their lives for our freedom and security. 

This is not about politics. This is about people. 

The ones that live, can we even imagine what they've experienced, what they've seen and felt and lost?

What does it mean to "go back to normal"?

How do they recover?  How do they "let it go"? 

This weekend, let's do a better than "i don't have to go to work on Monday".  Let's look beyond "Oh cool, a three-day weekend."

Take some time to consider the soldiers.  The people.  Sons and daughters, brothers and husbands. Someone's father. Someone's uncle. Cousin. Neighbor. Friend. 

They are the fallen and the fighting and the ones forever trying to make sense of "home". They are missed by millions.

Have a conversation. Say "thank you". Ask a question.

The day is meant for remembering. Not just the deaths but the lives and the living.  

We live in a day with more distractions than ever before. More excuses. We make an enormous mistake if we fail to honor these people, if we fail to pause to consider and be grateful and be kind. 

Take some time this weekend to remember. Remember someone you've lost. Remember all the different soldiers. Remember the things that matter and the things that are true.

Peace to you.
jamie

Comments (31) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

Hey Guys.

We hope that today is a day that you can tell and show your Mom that you love her, that you are thankful for her life and for her place in yours. We hope that today is a day to pause and celebrate.

We also know that it's a difficult day for a lot of people. If you are without your Mom today, because of loss or pain or distance, we want to say that we're sorry.  We're sorry for your pain and for your questions.

If you are somewhere in the middle, please know that redemption still happens, that healing still happens. Hope and change still happen. Please don't give up on your story. Please don't give up on the stories around you.

If you are a daughter and things are broken, please know that there is hope for you. To break the cycle. To be a great mother to your own son or daughter someday. If that is your dream, then please know that it's possible.

Wherever today finds you, we want to take this moment to say that we're with you, that your life matters, your story matters. The places you came from, the places you'll go.

You are not alone today.

Peace to you.
jamie

Comments (22) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

"Hope isn't something you create, it's something you let inside."

Came across these words on John Mayer's Twitter tonight:

Something to think about...

Oh and if you have a couple minutes and you're a person of the twitter, we may have accidentally started a campaign to become friends with Mr. Mayer. i've often wondered if he's ever heard about TWLOHA, and what he might think. John seems like a guy who's trying to create things that matter and move... he gets music (obviously) but he also seems to get the power of words and importance of moments and the value of design - he values these things and i'm glad he's willing to speak up about them. 

This comes in contrast to a weekend where i saw a lot of bands led by singers who say the same things and say a lot and say pretty much nothing at all. There were certainly exceptions but it was strange and sad to watch band after band play to thousands of people and to hear them basically miss the moment - the chance to say real things, the chance to invite people to think or feel or ask a question or believe... 

It made me thankful for the artists we've connected with, folks who are trying to move people, folks with something to say in their songs and between their songs, folks willing to be honest, willing to be real, willing to dream instead of hiding behind bad laughs and empty chatter...

Maybe this applies to all of us. It's been said that "All the world's a stage." We all have an audience. We all have some kind of influence. We all have a story and a voice. Our lives are our songs. Our hearts are our songs. It's okay to ask real questions. It's okay to say real things. Let's make things that matter and move, and let's chase after those things as well.

Peace to you tonight.
jamie

PS: Didn't plan to write a blog. Was just going to share the JM quote as a bulletin... There will be a long-overdue it's-been-too-long new blog soon.

Comments (28) | Posted in General, Music by jamie tworkowski

We have a new shirt called Lowercase and it comes in yellow and it comes in black.  We're also offering our old friend Title in a new color called "heather blue".  You can find those HERE or at Bamboozle in New Jersey this weekend.

We'll be back at Bamboozle this weekend and we're excited and we hope to see you.  Look for the TWLOHA team under the TWLOHA tent.  For real, we would love to see you.

Our inspiring friends in Invisible Children have been fighting the good fight in Chicago.  They are going to be on Oprah today and 4pm and we hope you'll watch proudly.

I am sitting next to Zach at the airport in Austin, about to fly to NYC.

Peace to you.
: )
jamie

PS - Here are what the new shirts look like:

Comments (18) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

Zach and i were at Virginia Tech three nights ago for a TWLOHA event. It’s hard to find the words to explain what the night meant to us. Early in my talk, i paused and confessed that i didn’t know what to say. We get a lot of opportunities to talk about the elephants in the room, but we usually can’t see them from the stage – we don’t know exactly what they look like. How do you talk about pain among people who have tasted it in a way you can’t imagine? How do you talk about pain when theirs was watched by the entire world?

We stood at Norris Hall and you cannot help but imagine the terror that took place there two years ago today. It is one thing to see the story on CNN, to read an article online. It is another thing entirely to walk the stunning campus, to see the flowers and the names, to see the portraits on the walls and to hear things like “I sat next to him in English” and “I had the chance to meet her mother.” 

Beyond the pain, we heard incredible stories of good and pictures of community. Students crying alone were met by the embrace of other students – strangers coming together to hurt and heal together. The residents of Blacksburg showed up to serve free food on Drill Field. With incredible understanding and grace, after ten days without classes, the school told their students that they could return to classes or not. If they chose to go to class, they could complete whatever assignments they wanted to. If their grades were good, they could choose to keep them. If their grades were poor, they wouldn’t count. Dave Matthews showed up to play for free.  So did John Mayer.

It’s been two years. Time heals some things but it can’t forget. There are fresh flowers at the memorial near Norris Hall, and i couldn’t help but imagine the stories of the people who left them. A mother’s whispered words as she placed the flowers by a name she chose for a daughter now gone. A best friend still aching after seven hundred days.

Today we join them in remembering. Prayers for families forever recovering. Prayers for students trying to believe that it’s possible to feel safe again. We remember the people who died and we acknowledge that every one of them had a story. We pause to stand with the people of Virginia Tech today. We say they’re not alone and we celebrate their grace and strength. 

Peace to you.
jamie

Comments (28) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

Hey Guys.

We've been home from Australia for a few weeks now. There's not a day that goes by where I don't think of it. The people and the place. We were there for Soundwave Festival, and with that, we were there for countless conversations.

The video below doesn't do the trip justice. There are no interviews and you don't get to hear any of the stories. You can't see the smoke from the fires or the courage in the faces. We had hoped to go spend time with people who lost everything in Victoria, but the weather cancelled our plans. We had hoped to connect with Dustin Miller - he was going to film interviews for us - but that didn't happen either.

Part of me was frustrated - this amazing trip but very little to show for it. But we did have a handheld camera with us, and when we weren't having conversations at the table, we were doing our best to stand inside the songs. We watched our friends in Underoath and Anberlin play some of the biggest shows of their lives. It's hard to explain what was happening in those moments. It was something alive.

Every person in every sea of people is also a story and every story matters. There are things worth screaming about. There are songs worth singing. Other places exist and people live there and they are priceless just like you.

Enjoy the video.
Peace to you.
jamie


Australia. from To Write Love on Her Arms. on Vimeo.

Comments (17) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

Hey Guys.

Exciting news!! TWLOHA shirts are now available at Zumiez stores across America. You can find TWLOHA at the following Zumiez locations:

Gilbert, AZ
Brea, CA
Santa Clara, CA
Pismo Beach, CA
Torrance, CA
Riverside, CA
San Jose, CA
West Covina, CA
Sacramento, CA
Modesto, CA
Fresno, CA
Cabazon, CA
Bakersfield, CA
Stockton, CA
Littleton, CO
Orlando, FL
Davenport, IA
Boise, ID
Gurnee, IL
Aurora, IL
Rockford, IL
Norridge, IL
Waldord, MD
Bloomington, MN
Buffalo, NY
Garden City, NY
Niagara Falls, NY
Woodburn, OR
Lincoln City, OR
King of Prussia, PA
Friendswood, TX
San Marcos, TX
Cypress, TX
Mercedes, TX
Pearland, TX
San Antonio, TX
Oklahoma City, OK 
Tulsa, OK
Grapevine, TX
Houston, TX
El Paso, TX
Round Rock, TX

If your local Zumiez is not listed above, feel free to go in and bug them about TWLOHA : )

HOT TOPIC UPDATE:
TWLOHA's Cities shirt shirt in black is now available in Hot Topic stores nationwide. Along with Cities, you can also find our Alive V-Neck in white, as well as our original Title shirt in a couple different colors. 

RON JON UPDATE:
We want to thank all of you that have supported TWLOHA at Ron Jon Surf Shop in Cocoa Beach over the last couple weeks. Thanks to you, TWLOHA is off to a great start in there and Ron Jon has decided to add TWLOHA shirts to their (South Florida) Sawgrass Mills location.

SO?
We're excited about all of this because our primary mission is to introduce a message of hope, help and community to people worldwide. We're trying to invite people into what we believe is an important conversation about issues that millions live with but few talk about. We want people to know that they're not alone. We want to do this by meeting people where they are and by doing our best to introduce this message in surprising settings. We've seen it happen online, with the 90,000+ emails and messages we've had the privilege of responding to, and we've seen it happen at universities and high schools, concert tours and festivals, even churches... We simply want to go where people go. With all of that in mind, we think the news above is another perfect example. 

Every TWLOHA shirt sold helps fund the unique mission of TWLOHA, and part of that mission is to give directly to treatment and recovery. We believe that help is real, that there are solutions for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide, and so we love that part of our mission is to invest in those solutions. Since 2006, thanks to your incredible support, we've been able to give nearly $500k to treatment and recovery, and that number continues to go up every single month. 

We want to say thank you and we want to say that we're excited and we hope you are too. We hope you have the best weekend in the history of weekends.

Peace to you.
jamie

Comments (27) | Posted in General, Merch by jamie tworkowski

Hey Guys.

It's an anniversary of sorts. It was three years ago tonight that Jon Foreman from Switchfoot wore the first TWLOHA shirt, at a sold out SF show at Florida Atlantic University in Boca Raton. At the time, we had simply set out to help a friend and tell a story. No plans to start a non-profit or a movement or anything like that. But we learned that night that the story we were telling was connected to something much bigger. We heard from people at that show who knew the pain of losing a loved one to suicide. We heard from people dealing with depression and addiction and self-injury. We heard from people writing in on behalf of friends and family, people asking how they could help, how they could learn more, how they could get involved. 

My friend Chad Butler plays drums in Switchfoot and he wore the shirt the next night in Jacksonville. Deon Rexroat from Anberlin put one on before a show in New York a few days later, and i don't think he took it off for a year. The shirts were curious billboards and so everywhere these bands went, the messages would follow - questions and confessions and folks wanting to learn to fight for their friends. And it wasn't just bands serving as the spark - it was conversations over lunch in school cafeterias, friends at work, strangers in airports... Countless moments that started with something like "What does your shirt mean?" 

Somewhere along the way, between that night in Boca and this night where you are, our story bumped into yours. We're certainly thankful for it, as it's been a privilege and a surprise beyond what we or i could ever begin to explain. We've said it before but it still feels true and so we say it: We're all in this together. Thanks for being part of it...

Peace to you.
jamie

PS: On the note of surprises, i grew up watching John Norris on MTV News. A few days back during SXSW in Austin, i had the chance to have a conversation with him about TWLOHA. Thanks to SPIN, you can watch the interview here.

Comments (61) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

Hey Guys.

i mentioned something called Summerset in the "Welcome to Australia" blog. Summerset was a house that i lived in a few years back, along with Rich and Byron from the TWLOHA team. This was about seven years ago, so it was long before TWLOHA, but i think it had a lot to do with shaping the people and ideas that would become TWLOHA. Summerset was more than a place - i suppose we remember it as something more like a season or a chapter or the good kind of gang. We were a pack, we stuck together, we dreamed each other's dreams. We fought for each other. We shared money, food, couches and cars. And i suppose we lived this way because we believed that the dreams were more important than the details. We were better as one than apart. There was always music or talk of music, and it was also the season when i first started to get excited about writing...

Read more

Comments (10) | Posted in General, Music by jamie tworkowski

Hey Guys.

We're in Austin, Texas for the South by Southwest music festival. There's 40,000 people in town for this. The busiest street is Sixth and there are these two banners on the corner of Sixth and Trinity...

Comments (9) | Posted in General, Music by jamie tworkowski

Short version:

TWLOHA shirts are now available at Ron Jon Surf Shop in Cocoa Beach, Florida. 

Long version:

Hello from Australia.

Yup, i'm still here - big fan of this place. Stuck around after Soundwave for a few days of semi-vacation. i'm staying on the Gold Coast and cheering for friends who are here competing in the Quiksilver Pro at Snapper Rocks. This is the first event of the 2009 professional surfing season and it's pretty awesome timing that this happens to be happening right after Soundwave.

i've been a surfer my entire life. i am the son of a surfer. My parents grew up in Long Island but moved south to Florida before i was born, mainly because my dad fell in love with the warm and waves at Sebastian Inlet. After a few years, they ended up in Emerald Isle, North Carolina and opened a surf shop. i was born and after a few more years, we headed south to Florida. 

i grew up six miles north of Sebastian Inlet, which is arguably the best place to surf on America's east coast. For as long as i can remember, i've been around the ocean. Even now, if i'm away from it for more than a couple weeks, something in me starts to feel off. It's hard to explain but it's like part of me has gone missing. i don't usually realize it until i'm back home, or surfing somewhere, and then i begin to feel myself letting go of stress and questions. There's just something peaceful in it for me. That might sound weird, but it's become part of me being healthy. i don't mean that in some weird mystical spiritual way - i just mean it's become part of my story - it's part of who i am and it's something that i love... 

i worked at our local surf shop when i was in high school. After that, i worked for Quiksilver as an assistant in sales for four years. After Quiksilver, i worked for Hurley for four years. i handled all of their sales in Florida, which basically meant that i spent most of my time on the road, visiting surf shops all over Florida, making sure they had all the Hurley stuff they needed. Hurley took a pretty huge chance on me, offering a big job to an unproven 22 year-old (who liked to daydream and doodle and talk to people, but wasn't much for waking up early or paperwork). i learned so much in my time there, met amazing people and made amazing friends. 

A lot of people, myself included, assumed that i would work for Hurley for the next 20 years. It was a really good job and surfing and the surf industry were pretty much all i'd ever known, especially when it came to "career". But then three years ago, i met a girl named Renee and the five days that followed moved some things around in me. i wrote a story called "To Write Love on Her Arms", made a MySpace page to give the story a home, and ordered 200 t-shirts as a way to raise money for Renee's treatment. The surprising response to that humble beginning led to something of a crossroads and in July of 2006, i decided to quit my job at Hurley to pursue TWLOHA full-time. The rest, i suppose, is history. (If you're not sure what i'm talking about, It's pretty much all here in the archived blogs.)

One of my favorite things about my job at Hurley was Ron Jon Surf Shop. It's the biggest surf shop in the world and it's located just a few miles from where i live. People come from all over to see it - they follow the billboards along I-95 to a sea of boardshorts and t-shirts and bikinis. When i was with Hurley, i would go to Ron Jon every Monday to straighten up our section and to see what they needed. In the process as the years passed, the people there became my friends. There was a sense that beyond the business, there was caring in the room. It was nothing unusual for important meetings to begin with talk that sounded more like friends catching up over coffee. 

So when i left Hurley, it was really hard to say goodbye to Ron Jon. It was so hard that rather than call, i sent an email, which is probably the equivalent of breaking up with someone via text message... We did talk soon after and we did promise to stay in touch... 

Well, the exciting news is that i was back at the Ron Jon office a couple weeks ago, but this time it wasn't for Hurley and it wasn't even just to catch up as friends. i was there for a meeting about TWLOHA... It meant a lot to be able to bring them up to speed on everything that's happenened over the last two and a half years, how things have grown from a simple beginning, the surprising doors that continue to open, where the journey has taken us... It also meant a lot to hear their kind response.

The exciting news is this: TWLOHA shirts are now available at Ron Jon Surf Shop. 

We live in a world where everyone wants to label everything, put everything in a box where they can make simple sense of it. Well, TWLOHA is a few things at once and one of those things, in my opinion, is that we're a brand. We're also a non-profit, a conversation, a story, a collection of ideas, and maybe even a movement (though that's a very big word that shouldn't be thrown around.) 

Anyway, Ron Jon is home to a lot of popular brands such as Hurley, Volcom, Quiksilver, Roxy, Billabong and Element. There are a lot of popular brands in the world but it's rare that a brand has something to say. We believe that we do, that ours is a message that attempts to move people toward real hope, real help, real change. Toward conversations that heal and toward lives filled with real compassion. That's what we're aiming for.

We've also given nearly $500,000 to treatment and recovery, and with every TWLOHA shirt that someone buys, that number grows. 

We're excited about the Ron Jon news because thousands of people visit Ron Jon, and our message is one for people. It's a message of hope, help, honesty and community. We talk about issues that affect people so we like to bring our message to places where people go. We've been able to see that happen everywhere from universities to concerts in clubs to churches, even Hot Topic and NBC Nightly News. 

We're excited to add Ron Jon to that list and we hope you are too. If you're planning a trip to central Florida, or you call Florida home, we hope you'll check out the TWLOHA section at Ron Jon. Right now, it's just one rack, but with your help - who knows? Maybe we can make it grow. Like the rest of our surprising story, we make this stuff happen together.

Oh and if somebody asks why TWLOHA shirts would be sold in a surf shop, tell them not to overthink it. People are always the most important thing. People go surfing. People go to the beach. People wear clothes. People wrestle with questions and pain. We want to continue to show up where people show up. We want to continue to surprise people.

We're honored and grateful that Ron Jon would invite us. We hope to see you soon.

Peace to you, from the Gold Coast.
jamie

PS: i wrestled with this one being kind of long. Decided to share that stuff about my history with surfing and the surf industry as a way of explaining where this news comes from and also as a way of saying that this one means a lot to me. Thanks always for reading. Thanks for letting me write.

Comments (26) | Posted in General, Merch by jamie tworkowski

Going all the way back to the original TWLOHA story, contrast is something we think about and talk about. My friend Kory and i aimed for it when we worked on the original (TWLOHA) Title logo three years ago. It's the reason we chose black and white. To represent pain and hope. Addiction and sobriety. Our dreams and our fears. Life and death. These odd couples and these battles seem to be everywhere - i see them on the news and i see them on the street and i feel them in my chest - and yet they tend to stay as secrets.

We're not smart enough to fake it, so from the very beginning, we decided we would just do our best to say the honest thing, to put it all in one place and say "Let's talk about it." Maybe if you're honest about the darkness in a room, maybe then you can begin to show someone the light. 

We have a new hoodie. It's black and it's white and we're calling it "Contrast". We might be idealists to the point of believing that a sweatshirt can be more than a sweatshirt, that what we wear can be an expression of what's important to us and the kinds of conversations we hope to have. 

Available now in the TWLOHA Online Store.

Comments (29) | Posted in General, Merch by jamie tworkowski

Hey Guys.

i want to begin by saying that we're in Melbourne now, and so much of our focus going into this trip was on our time here in Melbourne, getting to visit people and places affected by the fires. We had plans to brings artists to shelters, to offer their time and their songs in trying to make life a little better for folks who have lost so much recently. Anthony from Bayside, Stephen from Anberlin, Aaron from Underoath, and Jordan from New Found Glory were all excited to go. 

Because of the weather, we had to cancel our plans. Unfortunately, the weather is simply too dangerous in the areas that have already been affected. The concern is that there will be more fires because of the temperatures and the wind. 

i mentioned the guys who were planning to go because i think it's important to say that they care, that there are people on this tour who are thinking beyond the stage and the shows. i walked up to Jordan from New Found Glory a couple days ago and gave this awkward introduction, started trying to explain our plans and he stopped me mid-sentence with "I'm in." 

The good news is that all of us will be at Soundwave tomorrow, and we'll get to spend the day with thousands and thousands of people from Melbourne and the surrounding areas. My guess is that everyone there tomorrow has been touched by the fires in some way, and that some have known significant loss. It's our hope that tomorrow will be a special day in the middle of a difficult time for people here. 

There's no easy transition. i'll simply say that the fires have been on our mind and remain on our mind. Again, the good news is that we're excited to spend the day with the people of this place tomorrow. Say a prayer for Victoria.

The trip has been great so far. Here's my best attempt at bringing you here with words:

I went and said hello to the Bayside guys just before they went on stage at Soundwave in Sydney last weekend. My friend Jack plays guitar in Bayside and I asked him how he was enjoying Australia. This was his response: 

“I’m trying to think of one good reason why I shouldn’t move here, but I’m having trouble coming up with anything.” He eventually added that living in Australia would put him far from his family, though it was the only negative he could find.

We heard similar things the next day when we introduced Aaron and Spencer from Underoath and Stephen from Anberlin to Bondi Beach. At Bondi, the shops and cafes and houses stand along the water like an audience, and whether you prefer city or coast, we all agreed it would be hard to find a prettier place or a setting more alive. (I’m a surfer so I may be a bit partial.)

Our (TWLOHA) team on this trip to Australia is Chris Youngblood and Rich Sullivan and myself, and we are here primarily for Soundwave Festival, which happened last weekend in Brisbane and Sydney and will happen again tomorrow in Melbourne. Sunday is Adelaide and then we get one day off to fly across the continent to Perth. Adelaide and Perth will be firsts for us so we’re certainly excited. 

Chris was our first intern and when I met him, about two years ago, he had never left Georgia. I think his first time out of Georgia was to help us at The Almost show in Columbia, South Carolina. Over the last couple years, he’s become a big part of our story and our team. On our better days, Chris reminds us that community is not some idea for blogs and stages. It is something real and needed, as we have become his and he is part of ours and mine. He traded everything he knew to join our team.

These days, Chris handles everything in the realm of the internet and social networking for TWLOHA. He also spent last summer representing TWLOHA on Warped Tour and will be back out there again come June. Chris and I just took a long walk down Chapel Street in Melbourne, Australia, and this makes me smile because it’s safe to say that he is a long way from Georgia at the moment. 

Rich is one of my oldest friends. A few years ago, we shared a room in a house nicknamed “Summerset”. Byron Cutrer is TWLOHA’s Director of Operations, and he lived there too. Well, technically he didn’t live there, but he slept on the couch probably five nights a week. Summerset was a bunch of guys who liked music way too much, doing life together and wrestling with dreams we didn’t know what to do with. We walked through a lot together. We look back now and smile because so much has changed since then, but also because the things we began to believe back then are the things we get to believe now with TWLOHA. 

Anyway, Rich was part of the first “Stop the Bleeding” tour we ever did, to Nashville and back in 2006. He has been a friend ever since, played a major part in HEAVY AND LIGHT last month, and started full-time with us just after that, focusing on all things related to music and events. 

Okay, back to Australia. (Sorry for the detour, but I feel like I am usually the one who writes these things and I like the idea of you getting to know the folks behind the scenes.) 

We’re here for Soundwave and we’re off to a great start with Brisbane and Sydney. Brisbane is a beautiful city on Australia’s east coast, the furthest north we get to go on this journey. Brisbane’s downtown is really cool – lots of shops and really clean and alive with lots of young people walking around. Sydney is hard to describe – I haven’t been everywhere but it must be one of the world’s great cities. It is a beautiful mix of harbor and hills and skyline and beaches. In trying to explain it to folks back home, I’ve found myself saying that Sydney is like San Francisco meets Seattle meets the tropics. I don’t know if that’s remotely accurate but that’s what comes to mind. To say it a different way, I could totally live here. 

The folks from Soundwave have been incredibly generous and inviting to us. We arrived the first day in Brisbane to find that they had set us up our own tent, more space than we needed, right next to the main merch tent. They have something like 50 bands to look after, not to mention thousands of people coming out each day, and we were blown away that folks from the Soundwave team kept coming by asking how our day was going, asking if we needed anything. It’s an amazing thing when people believe in what you’re doing, when people get excited and start sharing whatever they have, opening whatever doors they can. 

The kindness we found with the Soundwave team didn’t end there. It must be an Australian thing because people have been really amazing to us, thanking us for coming, asking how we like Australia, asking our plans for this place and how they can get involved. We’ve had countless conversations with folks here who believe in the work and mission of TWLOHA. It’s been exciting for me personally, to see the passion and belief in the people here. There’s something powerful about finding things are true around the world, that we share ideas and needs and solutions, that we’re all people in need and that hope is contagious and universal. 

Read more

Comments (14) | Posted in General, Merch, Music by jamie tworkowski

2/24/09: Our friend Renee Yohe celebrates three years of sobriety.

Renee, 3 Years. from To Write Love on Her Arms. on Vimeo.

Comments (75) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

To our friends in Australia,

We don't know what to say. 

i'm sorry.  We're sorry. 

We'll start there.   

Why?  Why does it snow in one place and rain in another while a third place burns? 

Why is life like that?

The following words kept me up most of last night.  This came in an email from a friend in Melbourne:
"A few days ago i read a text message that a mother had received from her son who was trapped in the fire - it was his goodbye.  This woman broke down in front of me at the thought of never seeing her son again..."

My friend went on to say that he had stood on what used to be a football ground. He said that 56 people had evacuated to this place at the last minute, believing it was safe because it was away from the trees.  All 56 of them were killed. 

i don't know what to do with stories like that.  i don't know what to say in response. 

i suppose we just want to say that this has our attention, and that we're going to do everything we can to help.  We're talking to friends, especially in Melbourne, to see what's being done and how we can get involved.  Rich, Chris and i head to Australia for Soundwave Festival next week, a trip we already had planned, before the fires.  The timing is certainly surprising.  It hit me late last night in reading that email from my friend, that we have to do something, we have to respond.  We have to be creative and do what we do best... i emailed some of our friends who are playing Soundwave, guys who are part of our story.  Amazing to think we'll be over there with some of our close friends (Anberlin, Bayside, Aaron Gillespie) in a moment like this.  Everyone is willing to help, to say this matters, to do something in response, to go beyond just saying words from a stage...

In closing, i just want to say that our thoughts and prayers are with the people of Australia right now, especially those that have lost ones and homes.  We don't want to offer you cheap answers.  We do want to say that your questions matter to us, your pain matters to us.  Your families, your towns, your stories, your memories.  Real things.  They matter.  You matter.   

As much as possible, across an internet and across all the oceans, we want to say that we're with you right now.  Australia is a place that moves us, that matters to us - i mean that personally, that i fell in love with Australia last year.  We're excited to go back and we hope to see you soon.   

Peace to you, from all of us in Florida and around the world. 
jamie



We will be at all five dates: Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne, Adelaide and Perth. (Yes, Perth!) Look for the TWLOHA tent and check the calendar for more info.

Comments (42) | Posted in General, Music by jamie tworkowski

Hey Guys.

i think we can all relate to all of the following: pain, hope, love, loss, laughter, questions, joy, loneliness, dreams, sickness, fear and friendship.  Sometimes life is this really amazing thing.  Sometimes it hurts like hell.  Sometimes it's just plain awkward.

Valentine's Day can be pretty great if you have a date or a wife or boyfriend, or something along those lines.  But like most holidays, it can also remind you what's missing or what hurts.  It can be a pretty lonely day.  (It can certainly be awkward.)

We believe that conversations are powerful, that with all of the issues we speak to and so many of the messages we respond to, the answer begins there, with choosing to live less alone, choosing to do life with other people. 

So, for the second year in a row, this is our attempt at taming a famous awkward day.  We did this last year and it turned out to be a great night.  We're aiming for more of the same this year, wanting Saturday night's live chat to be a taste of community, honesty and hope for a lot of people. 

See you Saturday? 
: )
jamie

PS: It's pretty easy.  You'll just need to go to AbsolutePunk.net at 8pm EST this Saturday night (2/14). If you want to participate in the chat, you'll need to create an account. It's easy and it's free.

PS2: We'll be in Chicago for events Thursday and Friday.  Check the calendar for info. 

Comments (41) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

Hello from New York.

Great night last night, celebrating birthday with some really dear friends here in the City. Been feeling loved lately and i hope you can say the same. It's good to be reminded.

Last night i met a beautiful girl by the name of Lorretta Faye Williams. i'd heard a lot about her so it was good to meet in person. Lorretta is a month old and has a daddy named Zach. Zach loves a woman called Stacy and their story is about as good and strong as stories get. You'll have to catch a show sometime to know what i mean.

Fell asleep to snow last night and woke up to rain. It's cold but i suppose we're headed for a different kind of cold tomorrow. Tomorrow, we head for Canada. Zach Williams is bringing his band (they're amazing) and his songs, and Stacy and Lorretta are coming too. This trip is an exciting one, as it's the first time Zach's band will be joining us for a TWLOHA gig, and it's my first time speaking in Canada.

The Ottawa event is happening Friday night. We hope to see a lot of you, and we hope you'll help us spread the word. Here's the info:

This Friday, 1/30/09
A Really Cold Evening in Canada with TWLOHA.
Conversation: Pain, Hope, Questions and Community.
Talk by TWLOHA founder Jamie Tworkowski
Q&A to follow.
Music by Zach Williams

Algonquin College
Marketplace, Salon A
Building D
1385 Woodroffe Avenue
Nepean, ON K2G 1V8, Canada
7:00 PM FREE / ALL AGES

For more info, go HERE or email info@twloha.com

Hope to see you soon.
: )
jamie

Comments (21) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

i like birthdays. i like them more for other people but i'm glad we celebrate them. At the heart of it is the opportunity to tell someone "I'm glad that you were born", which is also to say "I'm glad that you're alive." Those are powerful statements. The world would be a different better place if we lived that way, if we said and showed those things, more than once a year.

i hope TWLOHA can be something like that, an attempt to say those things more often, to say that we are thankful for life and stories and certainly yours. i hope that we can be something like a gift, something like a favorite song or some show that you remember, some piece of hope or life or strength to hold against the walls when they feel cracked or falling. i hope we can be a reminder that life is worth fighting for, that your friends and family are worth fighting for, that love and beauty still happen, that change still happens. We'll only ever be part of the process, words on a screen in the middle of the night - i hope they find you like a friend. A t-shirt pulled from one of your drawers early on a tired silent morning - i hope you feel less alone when you look in the mirror. i hope it reminds you of community, that you're part of a bigger thing. i hope it sparks some conversation that brings change like a fire on the coldest night.

You'll need more than us. You'll need more and better. You'll need other people. You'll need people to help you process, people to help you let go, people to help you remember what's true and people to help you forget what's lies. You'll need the stories and advice of people with gray hair or white hair or no hair at all. Don't buy the lie that suggests they have nothing to offer or nothing to say - they were young once too. They are stories still going and they've seen the places you will go. They've been stuck at times as well, just like you and me and everyone.

You'll need coffee shops and sunsets and road trips. Airplanes and passports and new songs and old songs, but people more than anything else. You will need other people and you will need to be that other person to someone else, a living breathing screaming invitation to believe better things.

We're saying the story doesn't end here, that the air in your lungs is there for a reason. Perhaps we're all in the business of better endings, you as much as us, the business of redemption. Yours and mine and all the characters around us, and perhaps that bigger thing. i'll steal from Bono here and tell you that i believe we're far from alone in this, that God's been at this for a long time, this business of buying things back, making things new. If this is starting to sound too Churchy or spiritual, i'll simply say that i believe God gives a shit, about your life, about your story, about your pain. And if those possibilities feel too far or they just sound weird, then rest now and we'll get back to people.

We give a shit.

The darkness wins too often. Broken things build themselves in silence. People feel alone. People give up. People talk about this stuff like it's math or they don't talk about it at all.

So what are we doing? Why this page? Why the shirts? Why did a group of young people put their lives on hold and move to Florida a week ago? Why would they trade everything they know, all their normal comfort and quiet, for a crowded house and endless hours of this word "community"? Why would they want to join a conversation that most people run from?

We're trying to fight for people with kindness, with words that move, with honesty and creativity. We're trying to push back at suicide with compassion, with hope. We're pointing to wisdom, pointing to medicine, saying that hope is real, help is real. We're fighting for our own stories, our own friends and families, our own broken hearts. We're saying there's nothing we can't talk about, nothing off-limits. We're kicking elephants out of living rooms, making room for life.

You. It's about you. This is for you. It's crap unless it moves you, crap unless it connects with your story, meets you in your pain, reminds you of your dreams, reminds you what's possible.

We're still alive, you see. You and i on this night that's never happened before. Spread out across a giant circle, winter on one side and summer on the other, day and night the same. And then it moves and turns and changes. Things are always changing.

We are glad that you were born.
We are glad that you're alive.

Don't give up. Don't give up on your story. Don't give up on the people you love. Hope is real. Love is real. It's all worth fighting for.

Peace to you tonight.
jamie

PS: If you're wondering where the heck this came from, i turned 29 today. It's enough to make you think... : ) Off to meet the boys at Texas Roadhouse. Gonna catch a B.L.O.R.R. show after that.

PS2: You absolutely must see the new Coldplay video for "Life in Technicolor II". Prepare to smile.

PS3: You are officially invited to follow TWLOHA on twitter: twitter.com/twloha

Comments (46) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

Hi Everyone,

Some of you already know me, but for many others let me introduce myself - my name is Aaron Moore.  My wife Michelle and I both work as professional counselors in the Orlando area.  We first got involved with TWLOHA a few years back, back when there were only a few of us.  Being a counselor, I have always loved the vision of the organization and our common desire for helping others find hope and healing from the issues of addiction, depression, self-injury and suicide.   

One of the things that we often talk about with TWLOHA is that we want to begin a conversation about issues like addiction, depression, self-injury and suicide.  A conversation about things that are not usually talked about, but instead kept hidden.  All too often, these issues carry with them a deep sense of shame, which only keeps them in the dark.  We have attempted to start a conversation that begins in hard and dark places, but one that continues in hope, and ultimately moves towards healing.

We believe that hope comes in the context of relationships, in a place called community.  One of the questions that we usually ask whenever we are on the road is, “As a friend or family member of someone struggling through hard issues such as these, what makes it so difficult to talk about?”  While there are many different answers, one of the most common things that we hear is ‘fear.’  Often it’s the fear of not knowing the right words to say to someone or what to do or say to make sure they get help.  Sometimes we fear our friends might get angry at us for talking about it, or worse, we fear that if we talk about these issues in their life then we might have to face the issues in our own.  

Our hope is that these conversations battle the stigma and shame by bringing these issues out of the darkness, but also that they fight the fear by helping us understand and know the truth about issues like addiction, depression, and self-injury.

To continue these conversations this year, TWLOHA is hosting MOVE conferences that will allow small groups of people to dig a little deeper.  At these conferences, we want to look at each of the issues relevant to TWLOHA in order to gain a deeper understanding of them, as well as what help, healing, and treatment look like for each.  The goal is not to learn how to counsel our friends or to learn the right steps that will solve all of these issues and fix everything.  Instead, we want to educate ourselves about the issues, while looking at how we can go deeper in caring for those around us and allowing others to care for us in community.  

Our hope for the MOVE conferences (this spring break) is that we can all walk away with greater understanding, and while we won’t have all the answers, we can have confidence that we can move together towards hope and healing.   

For more details on dates and cost for MOVE 09, CLICK HERE.

We hope to meet you there.
Aaron and Michelle Moore

Comments (6) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hey Guys. 

Denny and i spoke to a small group in Altoona today, in response to the recent suicides in the community here. It was a privilege to be in the room, just to be invited into the the conversation. We heard from a mother who lost her son, friends and classmates, parents and counselors, and even the School Superintendent. It was an honor to show up on behalf of this global community (you), to tell our surprising story of lives changing, people finding hope and help.

More than anything, we came to say that this place matters, these people here, the lives lost and the ones in the room and the many outside. We came to say we're part of the same story, that the hope we believe in, the help we point to - we believe those things for people here as well. And for the great loss, the people who can't come back, we simply said we're sorry. We acknowledged the enormous questions and did our best not to offer anything cheap or tiny in the face of those. No magic formula or easy answers. People cried because there are things in life worth crying about.

i found out today that the Anberlin guys will be here (Des Moines) tomorrow, on their tour with Between the Trees. So i decided to stay an extra day to spend some time with them, and to say a few words at the show tomorrow night. Hope to see you there.

Also, the Superintendent and some other folks here asked us to come back, so we're going to come back soon, to speak at one (or some) of the high schools. We've been moved by the story here, and it isn't just the loss. We're moved by the people that we met today, the folks remembering and believing and asking for change. We'll certainly be back, and together, we'll continue to say these things that we believe. We'll do our best to meet each other in the questions, and to say that life is worth fighting for.

Peace to you tonight.
jamie

PS: Don't tell Josh Moore, but i bought him a shirt today, at a store called SMASH. It says "The prettiest girls in the world live in Des Moines." It's a Jack Kerouac quote. i don't know if Josh has been here, but i think he's gonna smile.

Comments (19) | Posted in General, Music by jamie tworkowski

Hey Everyone,

My name is Denny. I do some behind the scenes work with TWLOHA as well as a bit of speaking on the side. I'm writing you today because I want to share about an event Jamie and myself will be speaking at tomorrow.

A few months ago we received an email from a church leader in a small city east of Des Moines, Iowa named Altoona. He asked if we would come participate with his community in efforts to respond to a string of suicides that has occurred in the past six months at the local high school Southeast Polk-four students to be exact with the last one taking place in late November.  Two of the surviving families whose boys took their life are funding a one day suicide prevention conference that will include Jamie, me and some local counseling resources.

You see, we're going to this event not as "saviors" or heroes, not as the rescue squad who has all the answers and potions to fix things. We are going because we believe this small city in the Midwest matters. We believe that the families, friends and students who are going through this experience of pain and loss deserve to be heard. There is a need here and we are moved by this chance to share a story of hope and to speak into lives whose suffering is still so fresh.

Personally, I can't identify with losing a loved one from suicide, so this all feels beyond anything I can give. But I can identify with a hopelessness and darkness that rips a person's life apart. I can identify with the feeling of not having anything to live for, and feeling that I would be better off dead.  But I also know what it is like to come out of this darkness and to live with hope. I know the taste of community and how this can change a person.

The event takes place at Lutheran Church of the Cross tomorrow, January 17, starting at 9:30. It will be open to the public free of charge. This will be an attempt to announce hope over hopelessness. We want this community to know they are not alone. We would love to see anyone who can came come out for this special moment.

Thank you,
Denny

Comments (12) | Posted in General by Denny Kolsch

Last night began like this:
You can watch HEAVY AND LIGHT from start to finish HERE, thanks to SyncLive.com.  You'll have to create an account but it's free and super easy and honestly, it rules.  It's basically like a DVD.  You can skip forward or rewind.  You can watch specific parts.  The sound is really good.     

Here's what a few folks had to say...
Jon Foreman: "My favorite night of the year so far! Good friends with incredible talents singing together for a night of validating the worth of the highs and lows of the human experience."

Dustin Kensrue: "It was encouraging and life-giving to see so many people gathered with their guards down.  It's a rare thing in our culture to cultivate that kind of honesty and openness, and the way TWLOHA has managed to create that atmosphere was clearly seen last night.  It was beautiful to behold."

Aaron Gillespie:  "It was my favorite show of the last couple years.  It reminded me of how I imagine the 50's in Nashville, with Johnny Cash and his friends learning songs backstage and then everyone playing together that night."

My two cents: Last night was a dream come true on so many levels.  A few years ago, we started imagining these nights that could be more than music, nights where you could fill a room with hope and honesty, nights where you could also point to community and treatment.  It was unbelievable to see so many people willing to listen last night, people willing to engage this conversation.  And then obviously, the music was incredible and to be able to do it in this venue that we love, in the city where this began... It was a night we’ll never forget.

We want to say thank you to Jon and Dustin for flying across the country to be there, Anthony and Zach for coming down from New York, Mr. Josh Moore for coming from Carolina, and Aaron Gillespie for making the drive over from Tampa, after being on the road for basically the last six months. Thanks to the House of Blues for having us, and thanks beyond words to everyone who came from everywhere to be there last night. It was seriously a beautiful night, and i needed it as much as anyone.  More very soon, pictures and sounds and words.

Peace to you.
jamie

PS: You seriously need to watch the webcast.  All i can tell you is that it's safe to say there was some collaboration.

PS2: Here's the link to the Intro Video on YouTube.

Comments (14) | Posted in General, Music by jamie tworkowski

HEAVY AND LIGHT Live Webcast!!

Hey Guys,

We've been busy getting ready for HEAVY AND LIGHT and we have some really exciting news to announce. There are still tickets available for tomorrow night but, for everyone who isn't able to make it to Orlando, we will be broadcasting the entire show right here. This live webcast is being made possible by SyncLive.com and they are helping us make this happen and there are a couple different ways you can watch the show and help spread the word. The night starts at 6:00 PM EST and ends at 10. You can watch it right here in this blog or you can go to our profile on SyncLive where the format will be chat style and you can join in a conversation with people from all around the world by clicking the link under the video player. You can tell your friends to watch by grabbing the embed code from our profile and posting the player to your page (blog, bulletins, etc).

Comments (23) | Posted in General, Music by Chris Youngblood

Hey Guys.

Exciting news. TWLOHA is included in an article about depression in the new issue of Teen Vogue Magazine. It's the February 2009 issue (Gossip Girl's Leighton Meester on the cover). The article was written by Leigh Belz and can be found on page 106.

Read more

Comments (30) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

Hey Guys.

Sitting here listening to Land of Talk's "It's Okay" on repeat.  Not sure why, just been feeling safe in this song for the last few days.  Her voice is calming.

There's a great article about HEAVY AND LIGHT in today's Orlando's Sentinel. Check it out HERE.

We drove over to House of Blues today to get a feel for the room.  We've been there a hundred times but there's something different when you know they're about to hand you the keys, when it's yours for a night.  The room was completely empty and Chad was trying to figure out where the shirts will go and Rich was working on internet stuff and i was wandering around talking to myself and thinking about Sunday - up in the balcony thinking about family and friends and down on the floor wondering who will be standing there and where they will come from and how they'll be feeling.  It's an amazing room but it's empty until you fill it with stories.  People make a place.

The airplanes start arriving tomorrow so there's been lots of last-minute calls and texts and ideas.  Like last year, there will be some great surprises, some bright moments.  i'm still blown away that all of these guys are playing our show.  i would be excited if any one of them were playing and instead it's something like an all-star team.  More than half the names are known but we like the introductions as well.  You found us because our friends shared their stages so now we do the same.  There is a rookie by the name of Zach Williams who we think people need to meet.  He sings his stories with an urgency, something like a screaming.  Maybe we like him because we believe that there are things in life worth screaming about.  Maybe we find something true there, some sort of freedom.     

Heavy and Light is about winning and losing together.  It's the idea that we were meant to live that way -  we were meant to share things, to walk together.  It's the idea of being honest about pain and hope.

Also, we think music is pretty great so there will be a lot of music.  Music reminds us that we're alive, that it's okay to feel and care and ask and move, that maybe it's okay to be honest.

We hope to see you Sunday when the lights go down at six. There are still tickets available. Come with a friend or simply bring your story.  Your story is important.

Peace to you.
jamie
<a href="http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=61976377&blogID=454270742"><img src="http://img73.imageshack.us/img73/7260/1108heavyandlightfinalbqs7.jpg" border="0" alt="Image Hosted by ImageShack.us"/></a>

Comments (4) | Posted in General, Music by jamie tworkowski

Hi Guys.

It's been a pretty amazing year. Thanks beyond words for your support.

Here's 2008 in review, starting back in January.

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Comments (15) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

What was the highlight of your 2008?

What are you hopeful for in 2009?

: )

Comments (75) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

Hey Guys.

Sorry it's been a few days. i hope this finds you warm and with people you love.

At the heart of today is this idea that we've been given a gift, and the gift suggests that we are part of a bigger story. Gifts and stories are the same in that we get to choose what we do with them.

Someone hands you a present and then you get to choose:

Read more

Comments (9) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

Hey Guys.

Hello from New York City - Times Square to be exact. Byron and i just took a walk and checked out the enormous famous Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center, which was lit earlier tonight, smells great and simply rules. New York is hard to beat, especially this time of year. You gotta see it.

We are in town for the first-ever Alliance of Youth Movements Summit:
"From December 3 to 5, leaders of pioneering youth movements will launch a global network that seeks to empower young people to mobilize against violence and oppression. Brought together by Howcast, Facebook, Google, YouTube, MTV, the U.S. Department of State, Columbia Law School and Access 360 Media, leaders of the organizations will travel to New York City with the mission of crafting a field manual on how to effect social change using online tools."

Needless to say, we're beyond honored to be here. It's a pretty amazing group of people from all over the world, brought together by a pretty incredible group of brands. Everyone here is fighting for change in some way, working creatively to fight injustice and make life better for people. One interesting thing about this group is that all of us are using the internet and new media to do it. 

TWLOHA will be featured (speaking) on two different panels:

Thursday, 12/4 - 1:45 to 2:45pm EST
Panel: "Addressing Violence at Home"
Hosted by Whoopi Goldberg!!

Friday, 12/5 - 8:50am to 9:40am EST
Panel: "How to Begin - Taking it to the Streets"
Hosted by Larry Diamond

For tons more info (including schedule and press release) and to watch the whole thing live online tomorrow and Friday, check out:
http://info.howcast.com/youthmovements/

This is a pretty big moment for us and i just want to take a second and say that we are here because of you. i mean that in a couple different ways. i mean we're here because you got us here, because of your response and because of your incredible support. But i also mean that we're here on your behalf. Earlier tonight we were at Google and tomorrow we're being interviewed by Whoopi Goldberg and tomorrow night we'll be at MTV in Times Square, and all of that is pretty exciting... but the heart of the matter is that we're here on behalf of people who are hurting. We're here on behalf of people who feel alone and people who live in silence. We're here because we believe in hope and help, and because we believe that people need other people. It's a privilege that we get to say those things and it's a privilege to represent you guys.

i have to be awake in five hours so i should probably get some sleep : )

Peace to you.
jamie

Comments (15) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

Hi Guys.

i hope it's been a good weekend. Thanks for the kind words in response to the last blog. That one meant a lot as those are the moments when i feel like i have the best job in the world. Perhaps honesty is a bit contagious in that when one person goes there, it somehow gives other people permission to do the same... Also, really cool to see people talking about the things they're thankful for in the comments.

As for tonight... As an organization, we are fans and friends and partners of both Hopeline (1-800-SUICIDE) and PostSecret. One is on the front lines of saving lives and the other is inviting people to tell their secrets and it's sparked a conversation that is honest, creative and powerful. We feel a lot of common ground and believe in the work of Hopeline and PostSecret because what we all have in common is that we're trying to invite people to reach out and take steps away from the weight and shame of their secrets and their pain, to begin to be less alone in those places.

In yesterday's PostSecret MySpace blog, PostSecret's Frank Warren interviews Hopeline's Reese Butler. Reese started Hopeline after the suicide of his wife Kristin in 1998. Kristin ended her life in the midst of battling postpartum depression and Reese founded Hopeline because he believed that more needed to be done to offer hope and help to people considering suicide. Frank calls Reese his hero and i know that we would echo that in saying that we are inspired by his life and work, and we are thankful for his friendship.

Each week, PostSecret receives hundreds of anonymous postcards from people all over the world. These are people's secrets and they are delivered to Frank's door. The following postcard was featured in yesterday's blog and i thought it might be powerful to post it here, and also to respond:

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Comments (1973) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

Just wanted to say a quick hello and Happy Thanksgiving. It's an interesting day where families get together and we're invited to consider the things for which we're thankful. i suppose this holiday, like pretty much every holiday, can look and feel a lot of different ways. In some homes, i imagine it's epic and people stand and share aloud the things they're thankful for. For others, it might just be a lot of football on television and conversations that stick close to the surface. Maybe it's a day you love and look forward to, an easy day. Maybe it's a difficult day, rooms filled with elephants, things left unsaid or people simply missing... 

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Comments (19) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

Last summer, we were approached by a music video director named Robby Starbuck about working with him on a music video project for the band A Skylit Drive. After hearing why he wanted to incorporate TWLOHA into this video and the response from the guys in the band when he pitched the idea, we had no hesitation.

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Comments (23) | Posted in General, Music by Chris Youngblood

Tonight we remember the life of Casey Calvert. It's been a year since Casey's death. Our thoughts and prayers are for Ashley and the rest of Casey's family, and for Hawthorne Heights (Eron, JT, Matt, Micah) and the many more who called Casey a friend. 

Our hearts are heavy and light.
We laugh and scream and sing.
Our hearts are heavy and light.
In loving memory: Casey Calvert

This community responded in an amazing way one year ago. We want to thank everyone who has honored Casey and helped meet the needs of his family over the last year. And thanks to everyone who wears the Casey shirt - i know it continues to mean the world to the guys in Hawthorne Heights. i had dinner with them a couple months back and they said it's the coolest thing in the world seeing those shirts at their shows, people saying that they care and they remember. 

You are welcome to leave a comment here, but i think it would be even cooler if you send your love HERE.

Comments (18) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

Comments (15) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

Hey Guys.

Mentioned our surprising night in Philly in yesterday's blog.  Well, thanks to Mike Gallagher and Philly Music Scene Initiative, we get to share it with you here (minus the cold weather and minus the hot chocolate).  This is what happens when 100 people show up at a coffee shop where the fire code is 50.  Is it possible to be in two places at once?  This was our attempt at "Yes"...

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Comments (3) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

Hello from the Shenandoah Valley in Virginia.

Comments (2) | Posted in General, Music by jamie tworkowski

We just finished the gig in Newark, Delaware and we're heading for NYC. It's late but we're excited to get Zach Williams back to his Brooklyn and his bride. We'll spend our day off in New York tomorrow. Friday night is DC and then we'll be back in Brooklyn Saturday afternoon. The road's been great so far. The colors of the Carolina Fall have had us staring out the windows, considering beauty. The brights are giving way to browns and grays, and we know it won't be long before they fade to white and winter. We are here before those storms.

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Comments (13) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

Josh Moore, Aaron Moore and i had a great night at Greenville College in Illinois two weeks ago. First event we've done together in a while and it got us excited for this east coast tour that we're on now.  The GC folks were kind hosts and i was happy to say yes when they asked if i might answer some questions so that their community could learn a little more about TWLOHA.  i wanted to share the conversation here as well:

GC: Can you give me an overview of TWLOHA? How it started? What's the purpose? Who is TWLOHA?

JT: "To Write Love on Her Arms" began in 2006 as a written story and an attempt to help a friend. We made a MySpace page and started selling t-shirts as a way to help pay for our friend's drug treatment. The organization was born from the response to those things. Today, we're a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. We exist to encourage, inspire, inform and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery. In the last two years, our team has responded to 80,000 messages and those messages have come from 40 different countries. 

I'll give you two answers for "Who is TWLOHA?"

1. TWLOHA is a small team of staff and volunteers based in Cocoa, Florida.
2. TWLOHA is a worldwide movement of young people committed to hope, help, conversation and community.

GC: Who is TWLOHA aimed toward?

JT: Our message has spread quickly through MySpace, Facebook and the music community, so a lot of our audience is young. That said, we know that the issues we talk about are issues that affect people of all ages all over the world, so I think the best answer is simply "people". We're trying to create something inviting, something that meets people where they are, as they are.

GC: This story started with Renee's story. (See www.TWLOHA.com for the background information.) Was she the first person who raised your awareness to these types of issues and gave a "face and a name and realness" to the things people struggle with?

JT: Renee was the first in terms of addiction and self-injury. There were other people in my life (prior to Renee) who struggled with depression. I lost my friend Zeke to suicide about a month before I met Renee.

GC: How does TWLOHA invest in lives?

JT: We try to create hope and point to help and we do that through words especially. Through our blog and other website content, through the messages we read and respond to, through creative campaigns and projects, through opportunities to speak and lead discussions at universities, concerts, churches and other events. We also invest financially in treatment and recovery. 

Comments (3) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

Hey Everyone,

I'm sitting here at the bungalow. It's been a very busy week for us. Right now, Jamie and several members of the team are headed up to Athens, GA to kick off the east coast tour, "An Evening with To Write Love on Her Arms." This was an idea created over chicken fingers and burgers just over a month ago, and it's something we've been looking forward to ever since.

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Comments (9) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

We've stood on a lot of different stages over the last couple years, though they're almost never ours. We tend to borrow them from our friends. The crowds gather and stand and wait for the songs. The band sends us instead. It's a surprising privilege, scary at times. Usually, it's just a couple minutes, just long enough to to mention hope, to say you're not alone. It's an honor to take the stage before the songs, because we believe in the songs - we believe in the things our friends have to say, the music that they're making. And maybe it's an honor all the more because the borrowing suggests that a band believes in us as well, that maybe we have something to say. 

We've borrowed from Anberlin, Switchfoot, Bayside, The Almost, The Rocket Summer, and Copeland. Maybe you first found us at one of those shows, as the stranger on stage or the table in the back... We've heard that from a lot of people. We love those nights. We love being in the room with the music and the people and the sense of now and urgency.

The stage thing first happened three Cornerstones ago. July 2006 to be exact. i introduced Bradley Hathaway, Copeland and one other band that year. i'd met those guys before, Bradley at a birthday party in Orlando, Aaron on a long walk in Lakeland. The third band was the Myriad and i'd never met them prior to Cornerstone. i kept running into Jonathan from the band and we became fast friends. They played twice that year and i think i actually introduced them both times. i remember Jon playing in our green Title shirt, but with this long white scarf as well. It shouldn't have worked but it totally did, as the band is completely unique and something like a theater show. They are truly great live.

We've run into The Myriad guys here and there since then, at festivals and shows along the way. They were with us for the start of the Switchfoot tour earlier this year, always warm and kind and smiles. They work hard, tour constantly. They travel by van to keep the costs low, so that there's something to send back to loved ones on the west coast. The old songs were good and the new songs are even better. The live show is even stronger, which is saying a lot. We root for them.

And i've never forgotten their generosity back when all of this began, basically: "The show can wait. You have something to say. Go tell them." 

Well, we have something like a stage now. The numbers suggest a stadium. You helped build it, you lit the lights. This place is unique and so we all play all the parts. We are the builders, the sold-out crowd, the workers and just as much the talent. i'm writing tonight to return the favor to The Myriad, because there is a need among them.

Their drummer Randy Miller is fighting cancer. With him in this fight are his wife Kristyn and his children Connor and Gillian. There are immediate and on-going financial needs. Please read the initial band's blog HERE.  There is also an update HERE.

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Comments (2) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

Hey Guys.

We've been working on tour stuff today, excited to kick things off this Friday night at UGA in Athens. (As a sidenote, i am a little sad about having to miss Coldplay. They're playing Orlando that night.)

i want to say thanks to everyone who responded to yesterday's "Meet Zach Williams" blog. i talked to Zach for a while this morning and he was really moved and encouraged by all the kind words. He wrote a blog in response and you can read that HERE.

We're excited to announce that Zach Williams will be joining us for three dates on the upcoming East Coast Tour.  He will be playing the first two shows, Friday in Athens and Saturday at Clemson. He'll also be joining us in Brooklyn on Saturday, 11/15. That's a show we're just now announcing and that one will have to be "An Afternoon with To Write Love on Her Arms", because it starts at 4pm. Super excited about this one as i spent a few days there last week and it got me thinking... that maybe life in NYC has a lot in common with life in community. Both require sacrifice. Both mean being vulnerable. Both can be really difficult, but people choose NYC and people choose community because, ultimately, they believe it's worth it. There are easier places to live but ask any New Yorker and they'll probably tell you that it's the greatest city in the world, that they couldn't imagine living anywhere else. It seems there's something healthy about living life with other people, living among stories and conversations, inviting those things and choosing those things. And then it seems like there's something about inspiration as well, like we were meant to be moved. For me, there's something about being in a place where so much is happening, something about all of that history and beauty, something about that skyline... 

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Comments (7) | Posted in General, Music by jamie tworkowski

We just added a new song to the MySpace playlist... 

i'd never heard of Zach Williams until my friend Jon Tyson invited me to see him play last Tuesday in NYC. Jon is one of my heroes and his text said "Trust me" and since i'd never heard him say that, i pretty much had to go.

i went to see Zach play at Rockwood Music Hall, which is a tiny perfect room in Manhattan's Lower East Side. It turned out to be one of the best shows i've ever seen in my life. i keep telling people about it and i'm pretty sure i sound like an idiot because i can't begin to explain it and i just go on and on. For me, it was everything i love about music and so much of what i hope to find in this life. The packed tiny room was also a picture of community. When Zach sang "Take me to Brooklyn", his friends screamed and it was obvious that Brooklyn is them and theirs and they are a gang of the best kind, the kind we were meant for.

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Comments (13) | Posted in Music by jamie tworkowski

Hey Guys.

We've been to Atlanta, Omaha, and Indiana (Taylor University) for events in the last week, and i was away in Europe for a week before that. It's good to be home for a couple days. As for Omaha, we have a good friend there named Chris Heuertz. Chris leads an organization called Word Made Flesh and once a month in downtown Omaha, the WMF folks open their doors for a "Beggars Society" meeting. Each month, someone is invited to lead a discussion centered around one of the WMF core values. For this month's meeting, i was invited to talk about TWLOHA and to speak on the topic of suffering.

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Comments (11) | Posted in General by reid twloha

Socialvibe.com

hey everyone,

we are extremely excited to announce our month long contest with our friends at SocialVibe.com is finally underway!

if you are not familiar with how SocialVibe works, you can read our previous blog here for a quick update. our goal for this contest is to raise $15,000 through SocialVibe.com by the end of October and we want to make this something that is fun for all of you : )

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Comments (8) | Posted in General by reid twloha

Hey Guys.

Just wanted to say a quick hello from JFK in NYC. Sitting here with Byron. He is eating chips and i am listening to the new Jonezetta record...

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Comments (16) | Posted in General by reid twloha

Hey Guys.

We want to say thank you to everyone who watched the TWLOHA story on NBC Nightly News tonight. Our team watched it together in Cocoa, along with Byron's parents, his wife Amanda and their new baby Eden. My mom was there too - my mom is the best. It was a really special night, more emotional than i thought it would be. It was really heavy having our story in the mix with the news about Hurricane Ike and the millions affected in Texas and the Gulf. We said a prayer for those people during the commercial break, and they remain in our thoughts and prayers now. We know that this is a difficult night for a lot of people. We also prayed for the people and families that would be seeing the TWLOHA story tonight. We were told nine million people would be watching and it was heavy on my heart tonight that those are nine million individuals. Nine million stories. Real people. Real families. We spent some time talking about that, and we prayed that those people would be introduced to hope and help.

Comments (20) | Posted in General by jamie tworkowski

The vision is that we actually believe these things…

You were created to love and be loved. You were meant to live life in relationship with other people, to know and be known. You need to know that your story is important and that you're part of a bigger story. You need to know that your life matters.

We live in a difficult world, a broken world. My friend Byron is very smart - he says that life is hard for most people most of the time. We believe that everyone can relate to pain, that all of us live with questions, and all of us get stuck in moments. You need to know that you're not alone in the places you feel stuck.

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Comments (36) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

hey guys.

i just sat down to write a quick bulletin, but it seems there's more to say...

it's pretty late in florida, a little less late in south dakota, which is where i woke up this morning.  spoke to something wild last night, like 50,000 people, at a festival in sioux falls.  they gave me a few minutes before switchfoot went on... such a privilege to have the opportunity to talk about real things - pain and hope and help and the idea of community - in front of so many folks.   and who would have thought that our biggest crowd ever would happen in south dakota?

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Comments (6) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hello Hello.

The guys from Bayside are on a list of friends who feel like family.  It's been one of our favorite parts of TWLOHA - the stories that we've been invited into and the friends that have become a part of ours, perhaps yourself included.  Bayside has spent the last six weeks making a record in Los Angeles and i had the privilege of being there for the grand finale...  So Anthony was handed a copy of the final mixes Friday night and we jumped in my little rental car to go meet some friends for dinner.  

Anthony puts the CD in and i turn it up and he gives me a little intro for each song.  We're on the 405 north and the sun is low and bright against the hills.  The songs are good and so i tell him and it crosses my mind that this is probably one of the cooler things ever to happen in a Dodge Caliber.  We get a few songs in and it comes to a place where there's a whole bunch of people singing.  The part really stands out and so i ask him about it.

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Comments (3) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hey Guys.

Every now and then we come across something special, and it's exciting for us to be able to share it with you.  We don't do this a lot because we want our words to weigh something, and we think your time is valuable.  As we've said before, this blog is perhaps also something like a stage and we love to lend the stage to things that we believe in.  It might be a song, or a story that found us, or some bright moment.  The criteria is pretty simple: This stage exists to point to hope and help, and to inspire community...

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Comments (0) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hey Everyone,

Chris here, writing from a very chilly Saskatoon, Canada today. This is my first experience out of the states and so far all I've been able to accomplish is to find one of six Olive Gardens in this country. Jon, Emily and myself are out here to wrap up the rest of this year's Warped Tour. This entire summer has been really great to us. From experiencing the response from everyone coming out to the tour and showing their support for TWLOHA, to witnessing a traveling community day after day - a convoy of buses tunneling through the night to the next venue where we build our city of tents and stages in a strategic and routine fashion… it's quite amazing to say the least. 

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Comments (0) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

From Renee:
The entry below is taken from the first page in my book, Purpose for the Pain. It is the beginning of one of my first journals.  Sitting here reflecting on where I was then, and where I am now, I hardly recognize the girl that wrote these words…

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Comments (16) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

There were kids in costumes but i felt far from them. They were dressed for a party but i was in line for something like a funeral. The posters said "Batman" but i was in line to say some strange goodbye to a guy i never met.

i remember the night that Heath Ledger died in New York City. Some friends of mine were playing Scrabble a few blocks away. Josh is one of my best friends and his wife Amy is kind. Their apartment is warm and they fill it with music and the Scrabble is simply a means to laughter. i remember thinking and wishing that Heath Ledger could have somehow found his way to Josh and Amy's apartment that night. Maybe that's a weird thought but it was simply the possibility that he would have been less alone, that he might have found a friend or been surprised by laughter...

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Comments (3) | Posted in General by Garth Humbert

Hey Guys.

We made a new friend when we were in the U.K. with The Rocket Summer earlier this year. His name is Luis, he's from Dallas, and he makes electronic pop music as "The Secret Handshake". This music causes people to smile and dance.

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Comments (1) | Posted in General by Garth Humbert

Hey friends!
I'm sitting outside of starbucks in Winter Park right now
and I just wanted to take a moment to share some exciting things with
you. 

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Comments (20) | Posted in General by Garth Humbert

Hey Guys.

For the last year, we've been sending money to the Kristin Brooks Hope Center, which is also known as Hopeline and 1-800-SUICIDE. It's been far from a one-sided relationship. These guys have helped us provide suicide prevention training to our entire team, including all of our volunteers. They have shared everything from ideas and information to struggles and dreams, and they've become friends in the process.

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Comments (1) | Posted in General by Garth Humbert

The new song on our page is called "Disappear". Our friends in Anberlin posted it a couple hours ago. (They also updated their MySpace so everything is green and orange and awesome now.) The Anberlin guys are pretty much family to us - i was thinking about this yesterday standing with a bunch of folks from our team, watching the guys play Main Stage at Warped in Orlando... i've known Stephen and Deon since days before Anberlin (We're all from Florida. It's a long story and it's pretty funny but it's better when Stephen tells it.)

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Comments (2) | Posted in General by Garth Humbert