To Write Love on Her Arms

I get it.

Sep. 5, 2011 at 8:17am

Metal and Hardcore isn’t everyone’s top choice in music. I think one thing that many people don’t understand about punk and hardcore and metal is that it is more than the solely musical parts. People don’t always get why the vocalists scream or how the pit can be classified as “dancing,” but at the end of it all, people show up because it feels real. Metal/Hardcore is about the community: it’s about people “getting” you. This summer we were invited to be a part of Nocturnal Alliance tour, which featured MyChildren MyBride and Impending Doom. While we have had plenty of friends from the heavier branches of rock support us, this was our first foray into this realm.

Truth be told, there was a big part of me that didn’t want to write this blog. Don’t get me wrong—I loved being a part of the tour. The memories and the jokes and the friendships and the music will stick with me for a very long time. But I found myself struggling with the idea of sharing it. Most people reading this blog are probably far more comfortable around music with a clear melody, or less distortion, or lyrics that are sung rather than screamed. I wondered if me writing this would relate in any way to the majority of our audience. I shared these concerns with Whitney from our team. She does a lot of our editing and makes sure that I correctly use commas and differentiate between “its” and “it’s” and from time to time, she finds of way of using words to slap me. She told me that this summer, she went to her first Metal show (something that she never thought she would ever do). She drove up along with several of our interns to the Jacksonville leg of the Nocturnal Alliance Tour. She cheered when A Bullet for Pretty Boy opened with their rendition of the Harry Potter Theme, but she admitted that for most of the night, the music was hard for her to connect with. She then told me that that night was still one that carried a lot of meaning for her.

Whitney said that seeing the audience interact with the music, and seeing the artists hanging out with the fans, and the fact that she couldn’t understand a single word but that everyone else in the room could, meant something. And she was right. I saw it night after night. It was clear that many of the rooms we were in this summer felt more like home than anywhere else for some people, that the people comprising the pit may have felt more like family than anything else they have experienced. These clubs were our platforms and these screams were our melody. This conversation of pain and hope is not one that can be owned exclusively. It doesn’t belong to To Write Love, or MyChildren MyBride, or acoustic shows, or young adult literature. It is a conversation that finds its beauty in strange and foreign dialects but, somehow, always sounds familiar. It is rooted in the fact that there is more in life that holds us together than could ever keep us apart, and it’s about naming and celebrating those differences.

Canada has bumpy roads. Perhaps the most warped and scarred sections of concrete find their home in Calgary. But in that town, across the fractured tarmac, in the upstairs of a humble punk club, I had one of the most edifying interactions of my adult life. I met a couple folks who knew nothing about metal or the tour, but really only wanted to spend a few minutes there because TWLOHA was going to be part of the night. A young woman named Chelsea came well before doors opened with her friend Roger, and we just talked. The conversation moved from music to life to struggles to questions to recovery, and then to community. I have no idea how long we spent together—good conversation often times mimic time travel—but it came time for us to go our separate ways. Chelsea said, “Hugs, not drugs,” and Roger extended his hand. After shaking his hand, I felt that he had left a coin in the exchange. It read “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to tell the difference.” He simply asked me to continue to pay it forward.

A week later, through the aid of free Wi-Fi at a Canadian McDonald’s, I opened an email from Chelsea telling me the story of that coin. She told me that it was the first medallion Roger received when he began his road to recovery. I was floored. I had to wipe my eye. I now carried Roger with me. He trusted a complete stranger with one of his most precious possessions. That information suddenly drove home the theme of the summer. We made a collab shirt with MyChildren MyBride that reads “We Are The Cure.” The idea is that we can play a more positive role in each other’s lives. The hope is that we would feel less alone. And both of those things exist in all of us.

So we want to thank you for believing that with us. This summer, we were at more places than ever before in a four-month stretch. TWLOHA was able to set foot in 3 countries including 13 music festivals, another year on Warped Tour, and a second year speaking in high schools in Australia. We found ourselves in coffee shops, acoustic listening rooms, gorgeous amphitheaters, and dimly lit rock clubs, and wherever we were, we saw you. This summer could not have happened without YOU, the reader, the music fan, the listener, the student, the storyteller. The story is the same across all 7 time-zones we traveled to, but the song is always different. Share your life, and share your song. More people will “get it” than you think.

Thanks for reading and head-banging,

Chad

P.S. Thanks to everyone who made this summer possible, including but not limited to: MyChildren MyBride, Impending Doom, A Bullet for Pretty Boy (thanks for the ride!!!), The Crimson Armada, This or The Apocalypse, Wiest, Scary Brian, French, Billy, Eddy GaGa, Roger, Chelsea, Taylor and everyone at Hopeful Productions, Joel and everyone associated with Gravity, BridgeBuilders, Leah and the Crimson Team, Tim Horton, Wal-Mart (for giving us parking lots to wake up in), Aberforth Dumbledore, and the game of Washers.

Posted in Music by Chad Moses

Comments (11)

Beautifully written. Thank-you.

1 | Left by Heidi Fischer | Sep. 5, 2011 at 1:30pm

I know what addiction is like. I know what pain and withdrawals are like. I'm living proof that IT GETS BETTER. Definately not overnight, but it takes patience- which I still struggle with today. If you're reading this and EVER need someone to talk/vent to, please friend me on FB, tell me you're from here, and vent away. I'm here for you during your good days and bad. During the day or up all night.

2 | Left by Melissa | Sep. 5, 2011 at 1:39pm

3 | Left by Mitch Ruhl | Sep. 5, 2011 at 1:51pm

People are always telling me they don't "get" why I love metal, screamo, and hardcore music. You put it into words so well, Chad. Metal is such a valuable asset and outlet to those of us who need to feel, and a great platform for great bands to reach out to the broken.
Thanks so much for posting, Chad. Thanks for all you do.

4 | Left by xRebeccax | Sep. 5, 2011 at 3:33pm

Aberforth Dumbledore? I didn't think it was possible...but I love TWLOHA more :)
And this article was something that I have been trying to find words to put into but never have been able to. Thank you Chad.

5 | Left by Maura | Sep. 6, 2011 at 10:48pm

glad to see TWLOHA talking about the metal scene more, rock it!

6 | Left by Brandon Ryan | Sep. 7, 2011 at 7:44am

Wow.

Being a metalhead myself, this post hits home. I love going to shows like that because while hardcore dancers are total idiots and moshing is completely dangerous and it's hot and claustrophobically packed in the pits, I find myself having conversations with people I've never met between songs, connecting with a band that makes me happy, and having more fun than possible jumping around, losing my breath, and sweating out ten pounds. If I get pushed over, there's usually some strong guy behind me to help me up. If anyone wants to crowd surf, just pat the guy in front of you's shoulder and he and his friend will give you a boost. The crowd does its best to not let you fall and I think that holds a highly symbolic meaning as well as a literal one. We may be wild and we may be insane and stupid and sometimes even total jerks, but when we come together to see one of our favorite bands perform, we're a temporary kind of family. We band together and we help each other out and we're real with each other. We don't judge each other by appearances and we don't look at each other like "wow, you're stupid." We support each other and we're all there for the same reason: to celebrate a band that makes us feel like us, and it doesn't matter what addictions or habits or depressions we have. We feel special, we feel important, we feel understood.

And that's why I love concerts so much.

7 | Left by Lauren | Sep. 14, 2011 at 8:09am

I am a huge metal/hardcore fan. And TWLOHA you guys are awesome. i love you guys. Thank you so much for being open-minded to the hardcore genre/world. Most people who i talk to about dont understand why i like it. Thank you for seeing that theres more to metal then head-banging and moshing. God Bless you guys.
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People are always telling me they don't "get" why I love metal, screamo, and hardcore music. You put it into words so well, Chad. Metal is such a valuable asset and outlet to those of us who need to feel, and a great platform for great bands to reach out to the broken.
Thanks so much for posting, Chad. Thanks for all you do.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Being a metalhead myself, this post hits home. I love going to shows like that because while hardcore dancers are total idiots and moshing is completely dangerous and it's hot and claustrophobically packed in the pits, I find myself having conversations with people I've never met between songs, connecting with a band that makes me happy, and having more fun than possible jumping around, losing my breath, and sweating out ten pounds. If I get pushed over, there's usually some strong guy behind me to help me up. If anyone wants to crowd surf, just pat the guy in front of you's shoulder and he and his friend will give you a boost. The crowd does its best to not let you fall and I think that holds a highly symbolic meaning as well as a literal one. We may be wild and we may be insane and stupid and sometimes even total jerks, but when we come together to see one of our favorite bands perform, we're a temporary kind of family. We band together and we help each other out and we're real with each other. We don't judge each other by appearances and we don't look at each other like "wow, you're stupid." We support each other and we're all there for the same reason: to celebrate a band that makes us feel like us, and it doesn't matter what addictions or habits or depressions we have. We feel special, we feel important, we feel understood.

And that's why I love concerts so much.
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These Comments,I agree with 100%. (:
I love this type of music and my family is the group that I have a hard time explaining to. My mother especially, she jsut doesnt get it.
If Im listening to something thats more hardcore and she can hear it, she insists I turn it off; if I put something on in the car that is even like alternative rock, she says she cant handle it. A lot of adults I know and am around, younger or older, just dont 'get it'. No matter what i do or say, or how I explain. They hear the music and deem it, along with myself, distasteful.
They dont understand that for people like me, enjoying music like this, its about the feel it gives you. People in out community of music are family instantly, even if its the first time theyve met. We take each other in like long lost friends. We feel the connection of the music deep in our bodies and we feel that instant connection to the other poeple there. Its like youre in a crowd os family and close friends watching, hearing, feeling, and experiencing someone you can relate to speak, scream the word in your mind and life. we connect to the alive feel of the intruments and the truthful lyrics that are screamed out with a passion. We arent just for looks and popularity we are for the family and unity it brings us to feel the feelings this whole community and environment evokes in us.

I have been following TWLOHA for ablout four or five years now, I remember the day i stumbled upon this site and the way I the story and the blogs and comments and saw this family and cried because it was just what I needed.I remember how horrible i felt three weeks ago when I went back to my old ways of cutting and how afterwards I went in my bed and blared this type of music in my head phones as loud as it would go and how it made such a HUGE difference in how I was feeling that night. I remember exactly how it felt to have thrown away almost a year without self injury for two helpless nights and 72 fresh cuts leading to 72 all new scars, and how the music helped me feel like I was not longer alone but I had family everywhere around me and people who cared.
People just dont understand all that music can do for you.
Thank You to all the bands helping all of the people like me, THANK YOU TWLOHA for helping me through so much.
Thank you everyone for healing and helping

8 | Left by Kayla Russo | Sep. 15, 2011 at 10:37am

you're really trying to sell stuff on here??..... *heartbroken at the audacity* _-_

9 | Left by Kayla Russo | Sep. 16, 2011 at 9:12am

This is what I needed to see. I'm a huge metal/screamo fan & even though no one understands why, I am because I can connect to it. It was a joy reading this :)

10 | Left by Josina Ennas | Oct. 13, 2011 at 11:14am

A DOG, crossing a bridge over a stream with a piece of flesh in his mouth, saw his own shadow in the water, and took it for that of another Dog, with a piece of meat double his own in size. He therefore let go his own, and fiercely attacked the other Dog, to get his larger piece from him. He thus lost both: that which he grasped at in the water, because it was a shadow; and his own, because the stream swept it away.

11 | Left by belstaff sale | Oct. 20, 2011 at 7:25pm

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