At age 13, Harlee was raped by her father. Now, six years later, she talks about her journey from pain and loss to healing, forgiveness and community.

Comments (12) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Two weeks from today will mark the four year anniversary of the day I threw all of my possessions into two garbage bags, put them in my truck, and drove eight hours from Atlanta, GA to Cocoa, FL to become the first official intern of To Write Love on Her Arms. The morning I left, I printed out directions to The Bungalow to ride as my passenger (this is how people navigated the land once upon a time before a GPS was a likely possession). I stopped by Chick-Fil-A for breakfast to eat on the road, and I began my drive down I-75 without realizing I'd revisit the place I had known my entire life only five times over the next four years—without realizing I was driving toward a new kind of home.

I assumed I was driving to a house on the beach, to be quite honest. A house on the beach with lively young neighbors and burrito stands all around. When you live west of Atlanta all of your life, this is the kind of romance you create in your head about places outside your bubble. As I made my way toward the city of Cocoa, a water tower with a giant American flag painted on it came into view. I share this because a couple days before I left that water tower was in the background of a CNN story covering gas station robberies and shootings in Cocoa. It was also when I realized I had about a mile and a half to go before I reached my destination. The butterflies came. So did a little rain. And with a left turn I pulled into the driveway of a yellow house with pink shutters and a white fence that had pineapples cutouts, and there was a little sign over the door that simply read "Welcome to Our Bungalow."

Byron greeted me, and we walked through the door. The house had Ikea boxes in each room, and I was a fresh face ready to do anything and assemble everything. It's how I spent my first night there, putting all that furniture together. The house was empty and mine, well mainly TWLOHA's, and I didn't know for how long. I didn't quite know how many people would walk through that broken old door over the next four years. I didn't realize how many people would sleep on the couches and bunk beds I built that first night when I was scared and couldn't keep my eyes closed. I didn't quite know I would have over a hundred strangers sleep in the backyard or on the floor during a month and a half of spring break, and that a few of them would be the most important people in my life today. I didn't quite know how many people would call that house their home, and I feel lucky to have been the first.

For all that those walls witnessed and for the home we made there, I would like to share some of the memories from other people who have called The Bungalow home.

Chris

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I'll never forget that little pineapple gate. It was quirky, cute, inviting . . . but the people were what made The Bungalow feel like home. The late nights together. The dinners, the conversations, and the friendships. Friends I still talk to today. The Bungalow was like a symbol of community, because that's exactly what we formed there—a tight little group that could face anything together. And a lot of us faced some hard trials during those short few months. We celebrated the good times and faced the difficult things together. We didn't just know community, we were community. A family that could tackle anything.
Liz
Summer 2010 Intern

That sweet little Bungalow held a lot of heart. I miss it, but I'm glad I still have the memories. :]
carra
Summer 2010 Intern

I will always carry fond memories about the room that I slept in while staying at The Bungalow. Since there were only three girls during my internship, we decided to sleep in one room. We took the cot from the boys’ room and put it in the first of the two girls’ rooms. Some of my favorite nights were the one where all three of us would lay in bed and just talk about the day, about life, or just giggle. In that room with those two girls, I learned so much about what it means to be vulnerable and to let other people love you even when it’s scary. That room became a safe haven for me to be sad, happy, silly, angry, or whatever I was feeling at the time.
Sarah
Fall 2010 Intern

Sitting at the dining room table eating my lunch and watching  Friends or I Love Lucy and just being with the people that I spent almost every waking minute with for four months. Having community suppers in the Florida room or in the backyard. Making dinners all at the same time in the small cramped kitchen. Locking Lauren in the laundry room. The Bungalow holds many memories. It holds beginnings of great friendships, and it holds honest and deep conversations with people that I learned to rely on and trust. It changed my life and gave me a sense of community I can never forget. It shaped and changed the things I want to do with my life and the paths I want to walk. The Bungalow will always be a place that will mean so much to me. It’s going to weird if I ever go back to that place and see it again, to see that its different and that TWLOHA has left it. But the memories will live on, and they will always be mine.
Kraig
Fall 2010 Intern

Being an intern, and living at The Bungalow in particular, meant relying on each other in a way that's unlike most anywhere else I've ever lived. Working together and coming home together meant a lot of communication, and this all kind of collided in the community dinners. We would pull together the menu and the gathering of food and then invite the guests all at the last minute almost every time.  But the community dinner talks normally turned into talks on the porch swing or talks on bunk beds and talks on bike rides down the road from The Bungalow.  The details of that house are etched in my memory—the pineapple cutouts in the fence, the stretch of the porch swing, the view of the shed from the kitchen window, the lines of the living room couches.  Constant conversation and digging and growth happened within those details and walls, and that house will always mean so much to me.
Lauren
Fall 2010 Intern

Looking back, I have come to realize The Bungalow developed into more than just our temporary home. It was this tangible place we shared that quickly became a representation of the many intangible experiences we also shared. When I think of The Bungalow, I am reminded of all the great friendships and memories I still have from living there.
Joe
Spring 2011 Intern

I left The Bungalow a few days after my fellow interns, and as the term had been difficult for me personally, I was glad to have some time to breathe before driving home.  But as I sat on the front porch, contemplating the fence with its pineapple cutouts, I couldn't bear to be at The Bungalow by myself anymore.  I realized that I had grown so much in that little Florida house—and that all of my growth had centered on the relationships with my fellow interns.  That's what the bungalow was to me . . . a safe place to step out of my comfort zone and into the sticky, interpersonal world of community.  The Bungalow was a place of togetherness and fireworks, of love and shared meals and laughter.
Kelsey =D
Spring 2011 Intern

For four months I called The Bungalow my home. It existed at the same time as the home I came from, yet it sometimes feels like my time in The Bungalow was all a long dream, or some alternate reality. Whether times were good or bad, The Bungalow is, and always will be, a special place. It's amazing to think of all the different stories that have passed through that ancient front door (that kept breaking), and the movement that found its footing there years ago. All of us really are part of a bigger story—one that is made up of pieces from the stories we've lived there.
Brendan
Spring 2011 Intern

One Saturday, the girls all went to Universal. So we had BOYZ NIGHT and made a big fort inside the bungalow. We were cool like that.
Kevin
Spring 2011 Intern

We had many campfires in our short unforgettable time at The Bungalow. Some were short, some were quiet but all made us closer as a family. One particular campfire night we had a couple TWLOHA staff members over for customary bi-weekly dinner and a campfire, and Joe, always the curious one, found some fireworks in the shed. Before we knew what was happening, he lit one and we turned around just in time to see him running toward us with a huge grin on his face. A few seconds and a huge boom later, the sky was filled with beautiful light. We were all so shocked, we just starting howling and tumbling over with laughter. It made the whole night, one we talked about for weeks afterward.

The Bungalow is a hard place to describe in terms of what it means to me. It will forever be the home where being broken and being happy could happen at the same time, where tears and laughter met somewhere in the middle, where telling stories and listening to stories had equal importance, and where six people from completely difference backgrounds came together and made a family that is there for each other no matter what. It is special, and it worked its magic on all of us.
Alyssa
Spring 2011 Intern

For my birthday (in December), I got a new perfume from my dad, DKNY Be Delicious (my favorite smell I was never able to afford).  Of course I brought it to Florida for my internship in the spring and wore it basically everyday. Recently back in Idaho getting into the school swing, I sprayed it, and it instantly took me back to The Bungalow. The girls room, the living room, the creaks of the hardwood floor, and the yelling as we all wanted to win Monopoly.  It's funny how smells do that because in Florida the smell reminded me of home, my dad, and my family.

The Bungalow is full of awkward moments, Parkour, ballet moves, lizards, laughs, cries, and silence.

The Toy Story cup in The Bungalow was mine. Well, I found it when I moved in . . . but I took ownership. I loved it. We made jokes I could probably find it at Wal-Mart for a dollar, but really I found it at Wal-Mart in Idaho for seventy-five cents when I returned home.  Everyone knew not to touch my Toy Story cup.

Since I was probably the only Pocahontas to live in The Bungalow . . . it's my fault the raccoon lived in the backyard. We could knock on the kitchen window, and Meeko (the raccoon) would wave. Chad once thought I was weird for asking about animal predators, I mean I have to make sure cougars aren't following me in the woods, but in Florida Chad told me to watch out for the raccoons in the daylight. I'm pretty sure I could take one on.

In the mornings, everyone was too tired to talk, or have manners, so we bumped, pushed, and ran into each other, then mumbled sorry in the cramped kitchen. I miss that.
Amanda
Spring 2011 Intern

Here's what I think of when I think of The Bungalow:
- The old TWLOHA office . . . man oh man, those were the days. Storing all the merch in what is now a boys' closet?! Haha.
- Sleepovers on tiny Ikea beds with Katie
- Honest convos on the porch swing
- The cake ball disaster with Holly
- THE KOLSCH WEDDING! <3
- Discovering I had a twin in Carra
- So many dinners
- Brainstorming meetings
- My writing group on the back porch / the day nearly everybody cried and respected each other / amazing
- Meeting Renee and June
- Dreaming of going back to school one day
Kaitlyn
Former TWLOHA Staff

Well, The Bungalow was the place I got married. The place I had my first "adult" job. The place where I learned to love being a "gardener" and seeing people grow and change.
Lindsay
Former TWLOHA Staff

I'll always remember walking through The Bungalow door with my sister, meeting Byron and Chris for the first time, on my first day in Florida. Little did I know I'd walk through that door hundreds of times and even live there for a short while. I have so many memories involving The Bungie, but my favorite would have to be the time Chloe and I lit small fireworks in the backyard. Turns out, they were not small fireworks and we did not have the best aim. I'll leave it at that.
Katie
TWLOHA Staff

The Bungalow will always hold so many memories for me. I lived there with Katie for a few months. I lived there alone as well. I had a desk in two different rooms. It's where I decided to change my major from Pre-Med to Communications. I was hired in the backyard at the patio table. It's a special place. It will be strange to never walk in the front door with the broken handle again, but change can be a very good thing.
Chloe
Fall 2008 Intern
TWLOHA Staff

Comments (6) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

With under 48 hours left in American Giving Awards, TWLOHA is in 1st place!! That is all you. We owe you a huge thank you for everything you have done to get us here. It shows you believe in us. You believe in our mission. You believe that investing into treatment and recovery is important. You believe in bringing hope on the road. You believe in the programs we have to end the stigma surrounding these issues.

That said, we need your help to take this a step further. We're in the home stretch of Round 1, and the gap is slowly closing. We need your support more than ever. We need your time. We need your creativity. We need your vote.

For the next 48 hours we're asking you to devote time to talk to your family, friends, classmates, and teachers; it may even be time to get your grandma to sign up for a Facebook account. Let them know what this means to you—why this is important and why you believe in it. Get creative. We want to hear your stories about how you're rallying people to vote. Show us your creative sharing by tagging your photo with To Write Love on Her Arms on Facebook or @replying TWLOHA on Twitter. 

Some simple ideas to get you started:

— Change your Facebook and Twitter profile photo to the one below. Make sure to add the voting link to your description making it easy to click and vote for TWLOHA.

Comments (6) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

TWLOHA Founder Jamie Tworkowski tells Alternative Press why we want to take HEAVY AND LIGHT on the road.

Comments (3) | Posted in General, Music by Chris Youngblood

Several months ago, Caitlin Crosby, founder of The Giving Keys, began receiving online requests for “TWLOHA” engraved keys. She had seen numerous orders for keys engraved with words like "hope," "love," and "strength," but why TWLOHA? She mentioned this to her friend Stephanie Hopson of Vanguard Records (a huge supporter of our organization) and a few days later an email from Caitlin appeared in my inbox.

We checked out her website and a few of us on staff instantly fell in love with the concept. Not to mention, we LOVED the keys! Caitlin used to engrave keys to sell at music festivals, but over time she felt that something was missing. One rainy day on Hollywood Boulevard, Caitlin found the missing piece. She met a couple named Cera and Rob, both homeless and struggling to survive. She fell in love with their story and their hearts. Caitlin began to pay them to engrave her keys and soon keys sold more quickly, which resulted in employment for Cera and Rob. Their new jobs gave them a chance to move off the streets and truly get the fresh start they deserved. And, Caitlin's organization was born.

Everything we learned about The Giving Keys was so encouraging and we knew we wanted to be part of it. Caitlin and I started emailing back and forth brainstorming ways our organizations could work together. It was amazing to me that that so many people were choosing to engrave "TWLOHA" on their keys. It is what they identified with, what they wanted to wear each day. Plus, one of the greatest parts of this project is what happens when you purchase a key. When you buy a key you promise to one day give it away, or “Pay It Forward.” The instructions are to give your necklace to a person you feel needs the message/word on that key the most. Once you share your key with someone else, you head over to their website and share why you shared your necklace and the message it carries. Pay it forward – a simple concept, and in this case, a great way for someone to learn about TWLOHA while feeling loved and cared for.

So, because these exchanges are happening across the globe, The Giving Keys crew is now offering our TWLOHA supporters an exclusive deal! From now until June 30th, TWLOHA supporters will receive $5 off every key ordered using the discount code “TWLOHA” at checkout. And you can purchase a key with any word engraved on it. (For example: if you order three keys, you’ll receive $15 off.)

On top of this great deal, for every “TWLOHA” engraved key sold, The Giving Keys will donate $5 to TWLOHA! We are so grateful for their support. More than anything though, we hope this brings you unexpected conversations. We hope your key helps you own your story, share it with others and maybe even connect with someone along the way. We already have our own “TWLOHA” engraved keys so let’s just pretend we have a few that say “discount” and it’s time for us to “Pay It Forward” and pass it on to you! Enjoy! :)



With Hope,
Jessica

Comments (7) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Jamie Tworkowski talks about TWLOHA's history and values + his own struggles, motivations and more. http://bit.ly/ij55Rg

Comments (101) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Over the past couple days we've heard many stories from our friends in Australia addressing the flood disasters happening in Queensland. It has been reported that the area under flood watch is greater than the size of France and Germany combined, and that three quarters of the state has now been declared a disaster zone.

After a flash flood through the town of Toowoomba took the lives of 10 people and left the number missing close to 80 and rising, it occured to me that I may have met some of these people. I've traveled to Brisbane twice over the past two years for Soundwave Festival and realized that it's only an hour and a half away from Toowoomba. We've had hundreds of people stop by the tent to buy a shirt or just say hello. Hundreds of people whose life became intertwined with mine in some way. It can leave you feeling helpless when you're halfway around the world while watching videos like the one below and it doesn't make things any easier.



There will be a lot of rebuilding in Queensland, and we offer thoughts to everyone affected by the floods. You can read more about what's happening in the area here. If you would like to donate to relief efforts, click here.

With Hope,
Chris

Comments (11) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

C.J. Hobgood grew up with TWLOHA founder Jamie Tworkowski. Today, he is using his platform as one of the world's best surfers to support TWLOHA in a major way. We caught up with him during the Pipeline Masters in Hawaii to talk about life on tour, transition and chickens. 

Comments (7) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Last week a mom posted a comment on our Facebook. She shared about a trip with her daughter and her daughter's friend to a our event at University of Wisconsin-Oshkosh. I left a comment below hers, asking her to email us so we could get her contact information and give encouragement to her family. She replied to us with the email below. We found inspiration in her words, and a reassurance for everyone here in the office. Another incredible reminder of why we do the work we do every day. Be encouraged. 

Chris

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Good afternoon.

My thirteen-year-old daughter has been struggling with self-harm (cutting) for nearly a year now. She has been seeing a therapist for the last six months at her own request; before that time we had no insurance coverage, and I promised her that as soon as we did, I would see that she got the help she needed from a professional. The months beforehand were difficult, but not impossible. She hid things very well from me most of the time.

A few weeks ago she called me into her room and said, “I want to show you a shirt I’d like.” I saw TO WRITE LOVE ON HER ARMS in huge letters, and my face must have blanched because her next words were “No, Mom, it’s not what you think. It’s a really good thing.” She explained the website and the mission to me as best she could, and I told her I would check it out for myself. I was surprised to find out that one of her friends had told her about it. As I read the blogs, and the calendar, and the links, I knew this was something that could potentially help her. Then, I saw that you were coming to UW-Oshkosh. Uh oh—a school night, and it’s a two-and-a-half hour drive for us. No matter; I told her that if she and her friend wanted to go, I would take them. We’d have a “chicks only” road trip, we’d have dinner out, attend the event, maybe get shirts or wristbands or a CD, and be home by midnight. They were both ecstatic at the idea.

So, I picked them up after school and we hit the road. All the way up we listened to CDs: the soundtrack to The Crow, the soundtrack to Cool World. My daughter loves both, and I wanted her to be comfortable with her friend along. It seemed to work. We arrived at the venue with a few minutes to spare. She was concerned that we’d be the only ones there. I chuckled and said I doubted very much that would be the case, and in we went.

I will guess there were 400 people in attendance, just from my rough seat-count calculations. The girls were very surprised and happy that “we weren’t alone.” Little did they realize just how not alone they were. We greatly enjoyed Jarrod’s set, and I was very, very moved by Jamie’s story. I knew the girls were listening to every word, because my daughter silenced her cell phone as asked at the beginning—and then put it away so she wouldn’t be interrupted during Jamie’s talk. That spoke volumes to me.

We couldn’t stay for the Q&A because of the time, but I would have loved to. As we were driving home I could hear them chatting quietly in the back seat. Then my daughter spoke up.

“Mom? Would you be mad at me if I changed my Facebook status tomorrow morning to say ‘Because of TWLOHA, I am ready to admit I am addicted?’”

I managed not to choke up. I looked at her in the rear-view mirror and smiled, and said “No, honey. I wouldn’t be mad at all. I’ve told you, I know that cutting is an addictive behavior, haven’t I?”

“You won’t make me delete it or anything?”

“No, I won’t. You know people are going to ask you addicted to what, right?”

“Yeah, I know. But I don’t have to tell them. I can just admit that I am, and that’s enough.”

Indeed. It’s enough. She’s taken another step for herself—thanks to you. Tomorrow morning when she meets with her psychiatrist for the first time I expect she’ll tell him all about last night. She wore her TWLOHA hoodie and wristbands to school today with pride.

Thank you. All of you. You’ve done something for her that I could not.

Blessings,
Her mom

Comments (42) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Through grade school, college, and I’m learning even in life as an adult, it’s not always easy to find where you fit. We are all searching for a place to belong, a community of people who will accept us with our flaws and quirks. We have the privilege of living in an age where geography does not limit our search, and the Internet provides countless avenues of possibility.

This is something Carrie Goldman has been learning more and more over the last few weeks. Her seven year old daughter Katie is a huge Star Wars fan and proudly carried her Star Wars water bottle to school everyday until some of the other kids at school told her that Star Wars was only for boys, she told her mom in tears. Carrie shared Katie’s story on her blog and also her own thoughts about how these small suggestions from friends on the playground may be the seeds of bullying later in middle school and high school. She did not expect the kind of response she received. Katie has been showered with encouraging notes from all over the world to be herself and to embrace her love Star Wars. She’s even had people send her gifts to show their support. You can read more about Katie’s story here.

Tomorrow, December 10, Katie’s school will host a “Proud To Be Me Day” where they will wear something to represent what they are interested in, an opportunity to fly their nerd flag, whatever that flag may be. A fan of Katie’s story also created a Facebook event for people to wear Star Wars gear on the same day to support Katie, and Katie’s family requested that the participants donate Star Wars toys to charities for the holidays.

I feel the same way about books and reading as Katie feels about Star Wars and have been that way ever since I was a tiny girl. I realized it when I couldn’t stop reading the Boxcar Children series in second grade. Whenever I’m taking a break at work or out to lunch, anyone in the office will tell you that I could go on forever about the book I’m currently reading, the number I’m at for the year, or my favorite authors (John Green, FTW).

In my adventures back in time and in the future and to other worlds that sometimes look like ours but with special secrets, I eventually found The Boy Who Lived with his lightning bolt scar and tiny cupboard under the stairs. J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter series has woven itself through our generation. Over the past few years, the hardcore fans connected with each other not only in person at school or work or at the bookstore, but also online at MuggleNet.com and The-Leaky-Cauldron.org.

In 2005, two HP fans created The Harry Potter Alliance (HPA) in an effort to lead the way in creating social change in our world, to take a message from a story and its heroes that impacted them so much and live it out. As a 501c3 nonprofit, The HPA’s mission statement says the organization “takes an outside-of-the-box approach to civic engagement by using parallels from the Harry Potter books to educate and mobilize young people across the world toward issues of literacy, equality, and human rights.”

They currently have a project right now called “Dementor Horcrux,” where participants use their creativity to create a hopeful message in the form of writing, photos, drawings, paintings, videos, and songs to inspire people who are struggling with depression, anxiety, and body image issues, people who may not know what hope looks like anymore. We want to say that we believe in the power of voices coming together to sing a chorus of hope, that we are thankful for people willing to be a part of that chorus. You can read more about the “Dementor Horcrux” project here.

Fandoms are about bringing people together, about connecting over a shared treasure. So maybe you don’t understand all the jokes or all the metaphors or the weird words someone made up for a story, but I hope you can appreciate the community that is built through loving the same thing. The HPA is doing just that—using community to fight against loneliness and pain and the lies we hear from the outside and the inside everyday. It may not be your thing, but it is someone’s thing just like Star Wars is Katie’s thing, and I hope you’ll support them in the ways they are working to spread hope and maybe even share some of your own. Most of all, I hope you find a place where you feel like you fit, a tribe to call your own, and an opportunity to connect with other people who love the same things you do. The search, I promise you, is worth it.

whitney

Comments (5) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

November 11, 2010. Speaking: Jamie Tworkowski & Denny Kolsch, Song: "Ring the Bells" performed by Steven McMorran of Satellite. www.satellite-music.com

Comments (8) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Today is National Survivors of Suicide Day. Our team asked Reese Butler, Founder of 1-800-SUICIDE and a survivor of suicide, to share his journey through his loss. If you have lost someone to suicide, or know someone who has, we hope you will be reminded with each word that you are not alone.

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I lost my wife Kristin Brooks Rossell-Butler to suicide April 7th 1998. She died as a result of poorly treated Postpartum Depression. Her disease resulted in a psychosis that landed her in a psychiatric hospital, where she hung herself on a suicide watch. The first year after her death was the most painful year of my life. The 2nd year after her death was only worse because it was the opposite, totally numb and a total loss of desire to live anymore. It was then that I learned how a depressed person could welcome death as a relief from the pain or hopelessness that ensued.

In spite of the pain, I turned to her diaries and the followed the only road map she left for me. I founded the Kristin Brooks Hope Center and created an educational fair that traveled to colleges to educate young women about Postpartum Depression, Bipolar disorder and Borderline personality disorder. At the time there were no national resources to give to people after sharing her story. I recognized that I couldn’t ignore the need to create a support system for the people who experienced similar struggles as Kristin. Building 1-800-SUICIDE and the National Hopeline Network totally consumed the KBHC and me for the next ten years.

During these years of healing and through my work with KBHC, I’ve learned that every survivor’s journey is different. But to not take the journey is to basically die emotionally. The greatest honor and tribute I could give Kristin was to become as healthy and productive as possible and use the power of that loss to help others not suffer the same fate. Loss can trigger in those left behind powerful emotions that if channeled can move mountains. Along my journey there have been so many things that have given me hope for tomorrow, from the incredible notes from people whose lives have been impacted by Kristin’s story, or to new treatments and studies showing the improvements in mental health treatment. Brain scans, such state of the art FMRI to SPECT scans, can now show us the chemical dysfunction in living color. We can see the disease! We can treat it better than we ever have, and we still only know a tiny fraction of how the brain functions.

Over the past few years we’ve learned through a 3 year - three million dollar study that suicide is preventable. The key is to care about the suicidal person and be able to connect in a meaningful way with them. There is no more accessible way than to do so online. This is where the vision for IMAlive was born. We can reach so many more people at risk and show them we care through using an instant message chat. IMAlive is designed to not only become the world’s first virtual crisis center network but for the first time have 100% of all crisis line workers certified and trained at the highest level of knowledge available to us today.

Reese Butler
Founder of Kristin Brooks Hope Center

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If you have lost someone to suicide, or you want to learn more about the journey of survivors Reese suggested the following resources:

My Son My Son by Iris Bolton (the best book for a parent)
No Time to Say Goodbye by Carla Fine (best book for a spouse)
www.AFSP.org for listings of local survivor support groups
www.pos-ffos.com is another great online support group system

Comments (24) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

We are so excited to share a glimpse inside our most recent MOVE Community Conference held in a town called Downey, a half-hour east of downtown Los Angeles, CA. One of my favorite parts of running these conferences is getting to interact with the attendees and watch them grow and dream big dreams about being part of an honest community where healing conversations can occur when people around us are hurting. After we wrapped up MOVE Los Angeles, I received this email from one of our attendees, Alexis. Her words were so wonderful to read, and resonated in me. I am happy to share them with you now, in hopes that you'll be encouraged, and that you may also consider joining us at a MOVE conference in the future.

Applications are being accepted for MOVE Dallas through this Friday, November 19th. I hope you'll consider joining us. For more information and too apply, visit our website here.

With Hope,
Kaitlyn

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Road trips have always been pretty tough to get started in my family. No matter how much planning we do, something always manages to delay our departure and the MOVE Community Conference was no different. My sister, mom, and I didn’t hit the road until 2am Friday morning, much later than anticipated. I was trying my hardest to stay awake with my mom so she would have some company as we drove, but I was only able to last a few hours. At about 6am I woke back up as we were passing through Pasadena, and I was admiring the windmills as my mom called the rest of our family back home to make sure they were up and functioning for the day ahead. I could only hear my mom’s half of the conversation, but I assume my little sister asked something along the lines of, “Is the sun coming up yet?” and my mom responded, “Yeah, but it’s behind us, we’re still driving into the darkness.”

The more I thought about it, this seemed to describe the weekend ahead. I was about to enter a weekend-long conversation about depression, addiction, self-injury, and suicide, some really scary things that are kept in the darkness because we don’t know how to talk about them. But this weekend a group of strangers would walk into the darkness together and come out as friends.

The conversation started by addressing the stigmas attached to each of these issues and facing everything head on, but the common thread in all of the conversations were that people just want to know other people and be known in return. In my years of involvement with TWLOHA I’ve been aware of the organization’s strong belief in community and that people need other people. I have always strongly agreed with this belief, but it wasn’t until MOVE that I realized I wasn’t anywhere close to living this in my own life. I became caught in the cycle of shame, and despite my belief in TWLOHA, convinced by society that my problems didn’t matter and were not something that could be talked about. I was functioning just enough so that people didn’t ask questions. Sure I have people that I “know,” that I hang out with, and we share a few laughs, but it’s rarely anything more than that. I don’t know anything about their hopes and dreams or their fears, and they are no more aware of mine. And the saddest part is, is that I was totally content living this way. I had convinced myself that my life was just fine. I would always think to myself “What do you have to be depressed about? You’re going to school, you have a good job, and a wonderful family, and great friends,” but part of me knew that something was missing and after this weekend I realized that I had bought into almost every myth or stigma that we talked about at MOVE. I didn’t want to be a burden to others, or I didn’t feel like I deserved help, I got myself into this so I can get myself out. You name it and I’ve probably felt it and believed it about myself.

But after this weekend I am hopeful. I have learned that it’s ok not to be ok, and that I am not alone in my struggles, and like I’ve heard TWLOHA say so many times before, that rescue is possible. So today I made an appointment with a counselor, and I have plans to go to dinner with a friend and share these words in the hopes that we can walk through this darkness together. I am going to try to really listen and know the people around me, while also letting my walls down so that I can be known as well. I am excited for the days ahead, to continue learning and get the help that I need. I am excited to strive to build a community where these things can be talked about open and honestly and met with reality and compassion. Today I am excited to be alive and breathing, and I’m trying to really appreciate what that means, and learn to share my life with others. So thank you TWLOHA and the MOVE team for reminding me that we were never meant to go through this life alone.

Thanks again!

Alexis :)

Comments (10) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Florida has a way of spoiling us all. We can see Mickey Mouse whenever we want or visit Harry’s Wizarding World, and we can wear cut-off jeans and tank tops for just about 300 days out of the year. Central Florida’s consistently warm season makes it easy to lose track of time, and this isn’t how I grew up. I am a Virginia boy, more specifically from the great city of Richmond. I saw leaves do their best impressions of chameleons and took this annual snow for granted. But when I left Virginia, I was in a bit of a hurry and entrenched in a fog… I was very ready for something new, for something else. In the past 2-and-a-half years, my travels have taken me back through Virginia, but I’ve rarely had the chance to make a destination out of my home state. This past weekend I was able to go back, this time with friends and TWLOHA team members, to celebrate something that perhaps should have felt like an introduction, but truly seemed more like a family reunion.

At TWLOHA, we often describe our efforts as those that battle stigma. We encourage honest conversations about things that don’t get talked about enough. This is a battle that is often overlooked and can feel like a lonely place, and because of this, we have come to really value friendships in the field of mental health. Though we had only exchanged emails for the past two months, this past weekend we were welcomed into an atmosphere of celebration alongside the staff of Remuda Ranch: a collection of dedicated and impassioned souls who work tirelessly to address the needs, both personal and social, of those struggling with eating disorders.

We were introduced to Remuda through mutual friends (namely the guys from A Rotterdam November) and over the course of a few weeks and a couple phone calls, the Ranch invited us to attend their 20th Anniversary Celebration and go on a private tour of their Remuda East facility in Milford, Virginia. We graciously accepted the invitation, and in no time we found ourselves wrapped in coats and packed in a van winding through the Virginia hills en route to the facility. I had to smile at Chris, Jessica, and Kaitlyn as they took picture after picture of the ever-changing, colorful fall landscape. On that country road, reds fade to oranges and give way to yellows and are divided by browns, which all lead to the Ranch where the fields were still green. The beauty of this fall season was disarming and was perfectly complimented by the smiles of the staff as we exited the van to begin our tour. And it occurred to us all that this wasn’t a tour as much as it was a family sharing their home with us. “Tour” feels like a business term, and it was evident that this was a trip reserved for friends. We were honored to be welcomed with that since of familiarity.

This was my first trip to an inpatient treatment facility, and in my mind, I had expected to walk into a whitewashed building with that pastel, lotus-patterned, wall paper that we all hate, but was selected because it seems “peaceful.”  I imagined scuffed marble and scrubs and stethoscopes and IVs. Instead, there was inspired architecture, and beautiful frames housing beautiful artwork. There were apologies that the “Day Room” still had books and jackets on the floor from a few of the younger patients… but beyond that, there was a feeling that everyone is welcome here. You don’t have to pretty up in order to come in, you are beautiful just they way you are; it’s just like that feeling when you arrive home after a tiring day of school or work and you just want to be still. The Ranch strives to feel like home. Except home doesn’t always promise rest (especially for those fighting daily battles with hidden monsters), so while incorporating the familiar, the program also seeks to open brand new doors. One of Remuda’s trademarks is their use of equine therapy, which is an opportunity for horses to play a role in an individual’s recovery. After lunch with the staff, we were invited to experience a sample equine therapy session, and we were incredibly moved by the ability these animals have to aid in the recovery process.

Later that night we found ourselves on the campus of Virginia Commonwealth University with 400 guests for the celebration and a screening of the documentary America the Beautiful, a film that exposes and questions the standards of  “beauty” that are sold to us every day in popular culture. The film later led into a panel discussion which included Darryl Roberts, the writer/producer/director of the film, Kirsten Haglund, Miss America 2008 and philanthropist/advocate for Eating Disorders, and several professionals from Remuda’s clinical team. The questions from the attendees were as intelligent and eloquent as they were honest - a truly inspiring combination.  It was evident that the people in that room were not seeking entertainment, but were eager for opportunities to change and serve the community around them, and this atmosphere continued even after the Q&A time ended. That night, I was able to show off my hometown to coworkers and give hugs to friends and family and share visions with our new friends. But my night was truly marked as special and memorable through the conversations with four brave and bright young women.  Sarah and Rachel traveled 13 hours in hopes of celebrating this night with us, and greeted us with embracing arms covered in magic marker letters that spelled HOPE, LOVE, and REMEMBER THE STARS. Morgan shared her story and passions, and exhibited a contagious attitude of hope; that kind of hope that is stubborn and by its very presence mocks the very ideas of ignorance and intolerance. And then there was Emily. Emily is a fighter and I was so thankful that she came that night. She had such a big heart, a gentle spirit, and a genuine thankfulness that made both Kaitlyn and Jess cry. Working for TWLOHA gives me plenty of opportunity to get lost in the poetry, and it is conversations like these that serve as reminders that hurt and hope can live in the same smile, and tears can hold both fear and relief. 

While my friends and family would like me to live closer to them in Virginia, it’s trips like this that make me thankful for the distance. The distance preserves the special nature and gives homecoming a sort of “pilgrimage” vibe. And as with the conclusion of any pilgrimage, steps feel a little different afterwards…for now, the steps feel a bit lighter. Thank you to all who played a role in this weekend.

Chad

Comments (3) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Having lived most of my life in Florida, I sometimes feel like I am robbed of what the rest of the world knows as “seasons.” Currently, Halloween just passed and it still feels like its 90 degrees outside and the leaves may never change color. Yet, after working as the TWLOHA Intern Program Director for the past year and a half, I have adopted a new understanding of “seasons." For us, seasons come every four months as we have the privilege of welcoming a new handful of individuals to our Florida headquarters who are passionate, talented and some of the most dedicated and hard-working people I have ever known. These individuals are called interns, but with each season we’ve realized they are more, our source of inspiration, renewing passion and creativity. They challenge us to keep learning, to keep growing and to above all love deeply. They are truly a part of our heartbeat and we wanted to give you a peek inside the experience of one of our Spring Intern’s experience. Shannon wrote this blog at the end of her “season” with us. Thankfully, one of the things I’ve learned from our “seasons” and the relationships we form with these individuals is that no matter how familiar it feels at first, at the end you realize how much you've changed.

If you would like more information about our intern program please visit our website. We are currently accepting Spring 2011 applications.

With Hope,
Lindsay
Intern Program Director

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January 8, 2010 was one the best (and coldest) nights to catch up to me in 24 years. My plane landed late in Orlando after a long day of traveling from Southern California, and from there I headed straight to the Heavy and Light Kick-off show. I had just undergone a last-minute surgery the day before my trip, so I was the last of the interns to arrive for the term. And as I walked into The Social for the music that night, I realized it was the beginning of a life-changing journey. One with this intention called community, this paradox of brutal and loving honesty, and an unconditionally gentle family. It was also the night I met the six beautiful girls I would be sharing a cozy bungalow with -- a bungalow that was soon-after filled with baked goods and board games, stories and tears, and more laughs and dance parties than my stitches could handle.

The next four months were full of a spiritual growth that I’d not yet known, and plenty of adventure. Scavenger hunts and fried pickles. Porch swings, heat lightning, and morning Chai lattes. Family potlucks. Favorite musicians on stages. Church in Orlando, beautiful conversations. Rooms that were heavy and rooms that were light. And sweet tea. Oh, the never-ending sweet tea.

And every day that passed was filled with hard and hopeful words, messages of pain and messages of thanks. It is an intricate and amazing thing to connect with someone in a dark, vulnerable place, when the easiest thing to do is retreat. But we never gave up, and the messages kept coming, and voices kept being heard. I know help is real thanks to my own experience in counseling. And I believe in hope because I’ve seen it in the stories of other people.

There are hearts behind this organization that beat twenty-four-seven to the cause of helping others. During the course of my internship, the faces to these hearts saw our tears and heard our laughs, traveled miles in maroon vans with us, danced with us to Lady Gaga, and watched endless projected movies in the bungalow with us. More importantly, these faces represent a cause I believe in, and the reason why five other girls and I gave up four months of our comfortable lives to move to a sleepy town and learn the meaning of hope. It was a privilege to be invited into their world this year and to do life together. Intentional community and deliberate relationships are a powerful thing, molded by good intentions and a shared compassion for this one life we have. I’m so thankful I found that in my TWLOHA internship.

Comments (11) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

This past Tuesday TWLOHA was featured on MTV's The Buried Life because a girl named Lexie dreamed to give people struggling with depression a place to connect with one another. The Buried Life invited us into the evening, and then we had the chance to invite you. The night brought a room full of 400 people, songs, and hope. This night gave the people in the room a chance to share things for the first time, and we were amazed at how well Lexie pulled off the event.

Below is a video update and poem Lexie wrote after The Buried Life came and visited, offering incredible words of encouragement and strength. We're thankful we had the chance to share this night with her and can't wait to see what lies ahead for her.



Dear World,

Soon my fears will be brought from darkness to light.
I am no longer afraid.

Soon my scars will no longer be hidden, but on display for all of you to see.
My scars have started to fade, and my heart has started to heal.

Soon my masks that I have so delicately created, will be broken and all of me will be exposed.
I have started to love the person who has been hiding behind them, and I am learning to accept her.

I have been so blessed to have people I love, people who don't even know me, and newfound friends support me. But I am one of the lucky ones, I am one of the blessed.

What about the girl who still hides her pain, and hides behind her mask? Or the boy who still struggles with the emotions you have told him to hide?

What will you do to them when they are ready to step out of the darkness and into the light?

It is in your nature to try and scare them, and tell them to go back into their darkness and hide there. It's where they belong, and it's the only place they are safe.

We all know that isn't true, so now you have a choice.
Let them come out of the darkness and embrace them in your light. Or continue to send them back, and keep them there.

If you choose to let them shine, you will be amazed at what you will see. They have so much to give, and so much to share. They will be delicate at first, but in time they will strengthen. You can be a part of that, and in turn be strengthened by them.

If you choose to send them into the darkness yet again, know you are making such a huge mistake. Not only because it is simply wrong, but you are losing the chance to see the beauty they have inside. Do you really want to feel the burden of keeping them silent?

If you are on the fence, come and attack me. I have been so blessed, and because of that you no longer scare me. No matter what you throw at me I can almost guarantee I have already faced it, and I've won. If I haven't yet, I have the support system to help me fight. I am one of the lucky ones, not all are as lucky as I am. Don't take away the hope they have finally realized they have.

So world, what will it be?

Comments (20) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

TWLOHA on CBS Sunday Morning "Preventing Teen Suicide." We were honored to be included in this story, which aired last Sunday, October 3, 2010.

Comments (9) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

This blog was originally an email sent to the TWLOHA staff. This past week was difficult. It seemed that we couldn't open our email without the news of another suicide, and we were all beginning to feel the weight of the reality of these tragedies. As a team, hearing these stories never gets easier. Like anyone, we can find ourselves feeling drained and wondering about our purpose as an organization. This blog comes from that difficult place, when I remembered why we exist.

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While our inboxes continue to accumulate links to articles about people around the country dying by suicide, I try to remember why we fight.

In the battle against suicide there are lives lost, and sometimes they aren’t recognized until the war is over. When the battle feels never-ending, we ask ourselves why we started fighting in the first place. We get in a pattern, and all we see are the number of brothers and sisters by our side growing fewer and fewer. We can lose hope and wonder, what's the point in going forward? Where is our encouragement? Are we actually doing anything to make this world a more hopeful place? What good are we doing? Why should I even bother getting out of my bed when I’ll get to the office and I’ll open my inbox to see another seven articles about lives lost the day before.

But I am reminded of this truth: We have reason.

"You saved my brother from taking his life."

"My daughter wouldn't still be here if it weren’t for you guys."

"My dad is gone, but I'm hopeful in being a part of something that doesn't leave another family in the place I was in. I'm glad you're here."

These are our letters from home. These are our reminders. This is our motivation to go on another day. This is the reason we started this fight in the first place. We are reminded that our words have purpose, and they can bring hope in a moment where all feels lost and broken. And we believe this for your words, too.

We do this for those who can't bring themselves to talk to a friend because they think they're the only one dealing with the weight in their chest and the things in their head. We are here to let them know they're not. And when we lose someone close to us, or only know a name and see a picture, we mourn them. We remember them and we celebrate their lives, but we don't stop our fight for them. For them, their family, their friends... We fight. We have to. We have no other option. This message of hope stirs something in people that points to something true, something bigger than us. This is why we continue to get out of our bed in the morning when we're faced with this much loss.

In something that is so much bigger than us, we have each other. I wouldn't want to be in this alone, and we should all fight with people by our side.

We’re thankful we get to spend these days with you. You are loved.

Comments (106) | Posted in General, Journal by Chris Youngblood

The death of Denver Broncos wide receiver Kenny McKinley was announced last night, his death an apparent suicide and the news making national headlines. I went to school with Kenny in Austell, GA at South Cobb High School. We shared three years in the same uniform, both on the football field as well as making our way around the track. And it was Kenny who sold me my first rap CD as a sophomore, a memory that makes me laugh and a story that I still tell at least once a week. He made some special memories for me during a time when life was difficult.

Since we graduated high school, our lives have taken very different directions. Kenny went on to the University of South Carolina to play football. As was his way, Kenny did more than just play. He broke records, and he went on to play professionally for the Denver Broncos. I decided to take a year off to pursue my own passions, or at least to do my best to figure out what that meant. It was that time that led me to where I am today, working with TWLOHA, and next month marks three years that I've been with the organization. My job has taken me all across North America and to places as far as Australia and Peru. I've had the opportunity to hear the stories of people from all around the world. They have shared with me their struggles with issues of pain, including suicide, and I've had the chance to tell my own story as well.

As the years have gone by, I've loved catching Kenny's games on Saturdays during his time at USC and Sundays last year. It felt good to be in someone's corner like that. On a scale that seemed larger than life, I still got to search and cheer for number 11. It made the game something different. I didn't care much if USC won or lost, but what mattered was knowing that Kenny was a person I had memories with, someone I got to get excited about. I was proud to celebrate his talent and it was amazing to see where that talent was taking him. Seeing Kenny on the field took me back, and I loved sharing those stories. He was a day-brightener in his own right. Reading quotes from his friends and teammates, it seemed to be a trait he never lost. He could work a room and motivate the lowest morales.

I had a picture in my mind of who Kenny was, and watching him become more successful in his career only reinforced that picture of a guy who was confident, successful and happy. The news of his death was the last I ever expected to hear. Reading comments from people under articles about Kenny's death shows that many others are finding themselves in this same place. Some people are saying it was selfish, others wonder how someone with the world at his fingertips could do something like this. I am reminded of one thing: pain does not discriminate. We all have our battles we fight in the day-to-day. We are meant to care about one another, and to come together when things seem to be falling apart. We have the chance to share the things we deal with and fight together for our stories. We have a chance to believe in the story we are making for ourselves.

Kenny was a leader, friend, son, and father. I'll never shy away from sharing the memories I have with him because it's the best way to celebrate his life.

Our thoughts and prayers are with the McKinley family. Find peace in one another and the love that thousands of people shared for Kenny.

We will miss you, Kenny.

Chris

Comments (20) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Kevin Pelletier is the president of TWLOHA's UMass-Lowell chapter. Recently Kevin was awarded the Massachusetts Coalition for Suicide Prevention Youth Leadership Award for his volunteer effort in TWLOHA's University Chapters program. Meet Kevin...

1). Kevin, how long have you been involved in TWLOHA's University Chapters program?

I went to one of the first MOVE conference's in Cocoa, FL back in March of 2009. It was an extremely life changing experience for me, and I have made friends that I still stay in touch with on a daily basis. From there, I came back and started talking to people about starting a UChapter on campus. I found an advisor and an E-board. In the fall of 2009, we became one of the first 15 UChapters to launch in the country!

2). How did you first hear about TWLOHA?

My freshman year of college started out very heavy for me. I saw a poster about Jamie, Denny, and Zach Williams coming to my school and looked into it. The story put me in tears, and that night was so memorable for me. Being in a room full of people talking about these things, and then sitting on stage with Chad Moses for over an hour after just talking about life. Sitting there with Chad allowed me to realize that people really did care, and this organization meant everything they stood for. I knew after this night that I wanted to become very involved in this organization.

3). Why did you choose to begin a UChapter on UMass-Lowell's campus?

Seeing the amount of people at that event, I knew I wasn't alone in believing these things mattered, and that they aren't talked about a lot. Most of these issues are things I have struggled with, so it really hits my heart. Once the idea of doing things with TWLOHA and actually being able to help other people was there, I felt like I had found a purpose to life. What better way to live than helping other people? I realized that maybe the reason I struggled with everything I did was so I could relate to others and help them. It's been a very powerful and rewarding experience.

4). What has been the most rewarding part of having a chapter on UMass-Lowell's campus?

Seeing redemption and seeing people being grateful for what we are doing. Hearing that because of us, people have started going to counseling, have celebrated 6 months of sobriety, have really felt comfortable opening up and sharing at our meetings. Being able to have an amazing first year thanks to the help of my officers, Zach, Lindsey, Katie, and Seth. It's been great seeing other people willing to put hours of work each week into this UChapter, because they believe it matters that much.

5). What was the most successful event your chapter organized this year?

I'm going to have to go with two, because I think both are equally sucessful in different ways:
1. We had a meeting last year about addiction. People started sharing their experiences, and their stories and struggles. The conversation went all over the place, but it was all connected and almost everyone in the room had shared something. There were very few dry eyes by the end. People felt extremely close. Because of that meeting, I saw people starting to talk to each other more that they didn't really know. People hanging out outside of UChapter meetings and events, and staying in touch. Seeing friendships come from these meetings mean more than any sentence I could try to put together to describe it. Oh yeah, and the meeting ended in the best way ever, a group hug.
2. The main event in which Jamie and Denny spoke, and Ryan from Sleeping At Last performed. Having almost 200 people in a room because of something we had done. Ryan's music was amazing. For weeks after,  the lyric "You we're meant for amazing things" was all over our campus. Jamie told the story of how TWLOHA started, and shared more. Denny told his story of a struggle with addiction and ended it with saying that "You matter" in a way that went right through everyones ears into their hearts. I have made so many friends and have had so many great conversations from that night, as many other people also did. This night was a perfect example of community. From people helping set up hours before, to people staying over an hour after to have a quick word with us and get to know each other.

6). We heard you recently won a leadership award from the Massachusetts Coalition of Suicide Prevention,  will you tell us about this?

Yes I did! I was nominated by Elyse Lemaire, our UChapter advisor who is a counselor at our school, along with working with MCSP. I will be accepting my award at a breakfast next Friday along with a few other people. I'm looking forward to meeting a lot of people who are in this field and being able to discuss how our UChapter can work with them! I'm accepting my award and giving a speech right before a Senator....makes me a little nervous haha. But I am very honored and thankful to accept the award on behalf of myself and the UChapter. I'm thankful for everyone who helped out last year and participated in events because they believe this mattered. 

7). What would you tell a student who is thinking about starting a chapter but hasn't?

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!?!?!?! It really is an incredible experience. Go to a MOVE conference, meet Aaron and Michelle Moore, Kaitlyn, and everyone else. You will learn how to start a conversation in your own community and also how to start a UChapter at your school. Creating a place where people feel okay to talk about these things and being able to offer the ideas of hope and help to other is so powerful. School can get very stressful, and sadly we are all all stuck going to class and doing assignments we sometimes don't like. It makes me start to question what the point of it all is. Having the UChapter here gives me a purpose. There's never been a doubt in my mind or heart that everything I put into this is worth it. It's an amazing opportunity to grow as a person by learning leadership skills, learning how to organize events, meeting people, making friends, and knowing you've impacted someone else's life. "We are broken people helping broken people" is a saying TWLOHA believes in. You don't have to be "perfect" or have life figured out for yourself. The beauty in this is walking through these college years with others and relating to the desire for answers to questions and being stuck in difficult moments. The beauty isn't the pain itself, but the fact that you aren't experiencing that pain alone and you are allowing others to have the chance to not be alone in these struggles. 

If you have any questions, or are interested in starting a UChapter, email chapters@twloha.com or email us at TWLOHA.UML@gmail.com"

Comments (7) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hey guys,

Jason and I are back home after wrapping up TWLOHA’s fourth year on Warped Tour. It feels good to be home. It feels weird to be home. I think when you’re surrounded by the same people all day every day for two straight months you can either become annoyed with each other and choose to pull away, or you can experience growth together – learning the things about one another that makes them laugh, what you can poke fun at, and the simple things you can do for someone to make them loved.

Every year on Warped has a different feel to it. From the people on the tour to the music being played. I’d say the only consistent thing is the greasy catering food offered to everyone on the tour. This year I went out halfway through the tour with a certain kind of optimism. One that had hope to see people on the tour encouraged, enjoying each other, and more than anything going that extra little bit to get to know people.

Within a week, a friend came onto the bus and said, “I don’t have it in me to have another mindless conversation.” He wasn’t the only one feeling that way. More and more people started retreating to their own buses at night, and the conversations were about how hot the days were and the anticipation of getting off the tour. No substance. No foundations being built beyond connecting over the fact that you were both exhausted by the end of the day.

My whole time out, I had been anticipating my friend Jered Scott’s arrival for the last week of the tour and getting to share some time with him. We’ve had maybe a week total of days spent together over the past year and a half of our friendship, but we have a kind of friendship where he can call me out on things that I need to be called out on because he cares for me. I compare him to be the parent that sets the rules and ticks us off when we’re teenagers, but thankful for those same rules they set in place when we’re 25 and can appreciate that it was out of love and wanting what was best. So when he asked about Warped Tour and what I had been up to, he was very quick to point out that I was a contributor to those mindless conversations. That I wasn’t taking the extra steps to learn things about people outside of those on my bus. That I was resorting to old habits to make me feel better but that I knew weren’t beneficial for me. He was doing everything a friend who intentionally knows and cares for someone should have done.

We wanted something to change. Jason, Jered, and I got together and talked about getting people together at 8 o’clock every night for the last week of tour to have time to unpack things from the summer, share what was our mind, and ultimately create a space for people to move away from the mindless conversations and move toward honesty. A place to talk about the great times the tour brought, while acknowledging the temptations and struggles we never seem to escape from, and deciding that we didn’t want to go through another two month tour without communities where we support each others’ positive actions.

The first night there were eight of us. The second, ten. It was refreshing to get away from the party for an hour, even if we were going to get thrown right back into it when we broke off for the rest of the night. The third night we gathered, Jered and I were setting up chairs and we put out 12. We joked that we were getting ahead of ourselves. Over the next hour and a half the sound of chairs being moved around and a circle widening could be heard over our words. Over thirty people showed up that night. There weren’t any flyers or announcements about what we were doing, only word of mouth.

The fourth night we meet in a small building. We set up chairs along the wall and every seat filled up. There were even people sitting on the floor in the middle of everyone. Seeing something grow to what it had become in a short amount of time really showed how much everyone needed something different. We all did. A new place to go. A place that welcomed our mess.

For me, finding that place, whether it was with eight or thirty other people, where I could share the things I was dealing with, and hear about what others were dealing with during those two months on tour, was incredible. The feeling of knowing I wasn’t the only one struggling with the thoughts that live in my mind helped me breathe without a weight on my chest for the first time in a while. I think that’s what we all need to strive for with one another.

We are surrounded by people. We have this chance to have a community, big or small, to “go there” with. The thing is, we have to take the risk of being honest and being known. We have to find that place inside us where we’re ready to challenge ourselves and grow. We have to be willing to know that sometimes someone won’t show up.  Caring about and loving others takes risk and probably more than we have in us most of the time. But I think the more we put out there, we’ll have something returned greater than we could have imagined.

This year, I left Warped and people that I miss after only being away from them for four days. This year, I left Warped and my bottom right bunk on bus 40 that I called my home for four weeks with eleven other people and a few extra riders here and there. This year, I left Warped with phone numbers and friends on Facebook. I left with great conversations, summer crushes, and incredible memories from around the country. This year, I left Warped with a community that challenged me to grow and be there for someone else. This year, Warped left me completely grateful for everyone I met on the tour, but especially every single one of our supporters who stopped by the booth to say hello, buy a shirt, or talk about what TWLOHA means to them.

You guys were constant refueling for long, hot, exhausting days. Jason and I are truly thankful for being able to share this summer with all of you and we hope to see you again next year.

All the best,
Chris

Comments (16) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

A couple weeks back, we had the privilege of being part of Sasquatch Festival at the Gorge in George, Washington. It was an incredible event and to say that it happened at a beautiful place would be more than an understatement.

Comments (3) | Posted in General, Music by Chris Youngblood

I grew up throwing dirt clods for sport and listening to Garth Brooks and Vince Gill on cassette tapes. Bare feet and dirt roads.When I was older, four-wheelers and trails through the woods. In high school, I was a part of the self-proclaimed redneck crowd, donned in Carhart coats, socializing around their oversized trucks with lift-kits. I still remember when my dad moved out when I was in second grade into another trailer across town. He had cable, and I was introduced to CMT and music videos. All that is to say, I was raised in the country on country music.

Though my musical tastes are broad, country music emanates this feeling of home. There is this unparalleled community that happens in the country music world. There is a shared history and love of the South and its culture, a fondness for simple pleasures in life, and the sweet twang—all of these things bringing musicians and fans together.

Jess and I share an office, so when she looked up the information about CMA Fest, I was the first to hear about it. My job is mostly administrative and doesn’t require me to go on the road very much, but I knew that if TWLOHA was going to be at CMA Fest I wanted to be there.  Of the fourteen people on staff, Jess, Chris, and I are the only country fans.  Chris is from Georgia, so it’s a part of his soul. Jess is a diehard fan and has adopted a bit of a twang. But we were sure it wouldn’t work, because summer is our busiest season, and TWLOHA has never been involved with the country music world at all.

Jamie and Rich said yes. Surprised but incredibly excited, Jess submitted our application.  The CMA Fest only has three or four nonprofits, a much smaller number than we’re used to so we were unsure whether or not we would get picked. Next thing I know, Chris is packing the back of the Jeep like a jigsaw puzzle while Jess, Emily, and I organize pillows, snacks, and music for the long drive to Nashville.  Although Emily wasn’t a big country fan before the festival, she left singing along to Lady Antebellum and Carrie Underwood (and is still laughing about Blake Shelton’s jokes).

I’ve been back for two weeks and I’m still smiling and singing Zac Brown Band’s “Free” with a majestic hope in my heart. I said the words, “we’re a nonprofit raising awareness about depression, addiction, self-injury, and suicide” with an info card in my hand and sweat trickling down my back 847 times, and I didn’t get tired of it. Some people politely listened feigning interest and others really heard me and tied a string from themselves to us because somehow our story was their story too.  

Peggy didn’t expect to be so drawn in. She stopped at the McDonald’s tent to get a snack for her granddaughter waiting at the picnic table when our funny name caught her eye. For the 321st time, I told a stranger who we are. Holding back tears, she told us about her niece Jeanie and how much Jeanie needed to know about us. “This is so Jeanie, all Jeanie,” she kept saying and shared how Jeanie has dealt with great loss and pain in the last year. Peggy walked away and wasn’t a stranger anymore.  

The next day, Chris was helping a petite soft-spoken woman with her blonde hair cropped just above her shoulders who was learning about us for the first time. I came up when she was paying for her Love is the Movement shirt. Holding back tears and digging in her wallet, her gaze not meeting our eyes, she said she lost her brother to suicide. I said I was so sorry to hear that and Chris asked her name. Asking someone their name gives them this unspoken validation that they matter even though they may be a stranger. Through her smile, she said her name was Lisa, and I knew I would never forget her. She looked at me and said, “Mom and Dad have never been the same,” and I said, “Yeah, it changes everything—nothing and no one is ever the same.” She nodded, and I asked when her brother passed sure that it was within the past few months. Her voice cracked as she said, “1986.” I tried to contain my surprise. I haven’t lost someone to suicide, so I haven’t dealt with that kind of pain personally. Her brother has been gone longer than I have been alive, and her pain at losing him is still so fresh and real. She held up her shirt, bowed her head, and said thank you as she walked away, and I wonder who is more grateful that she stopped at our tent—her or us?

At CMA Fest during the day different zones are open and most of them free to the public, but at five booths start closing up for the night for everyone to get dinner and make the trek to LP Field across the bridge for the evening concerts. Passes to the concerts were included with our booth package, so each night we joined more than 40,000 people to sing and dance to our favorite country songs. Anyone who enjoys seeing live music knows the magic of being in a crowd of people, singing the same song at the top of your lungs and getting goose bumps. It doesn’t always happen that way in the nosebleeds, but during Keith Urban’s set it was inevitable.

In case you haven’t heard, Nashville had an awful flood the first weekend in May. Most of downtown Nashville (where CMA Fest is held) was under water.  In the beginning, the media didn’t give it much coverage and the city wasn’t getting help from the outside. But Nashville banded together, pulled themselves up and did what they had to do to get their city on its feet again. Restaurants spent their days making bag lunches and giving them away throughout the city, while other people worked to repair the damage. A little more than a month later, they were ready to host the first ever sold out CMA Fest.

Keith played his whole set, then he talked about Nashville and the flood. He talked about how proud he was to be a part of a city with such a strong community, how people joined together without thinking twice, and how important it was for all of us to be there at CMA Fest, how much Nashville needed us to come. He dedicated his next song to the city and the people and launched into a cover of “With a Little Help from my Friends” with Little Big Town. The performers at Heavy and Light this year also covered this song, but this performance had a different force, a different power, a different magic with images from the flood flashing on the screen behind the band. We stood and we sang and we rocked (yes, we still rock out in country music). In The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Charlie talks about this moment where he and his friends are singing together in the truck and he says he felt infinite (page 39), and this night, this song, this moment is infinite for all 40,000 of us.  

Depression doesn’t care if you wear a cowboy hat with Wranglers or skinny jeans with Converse shoes. I hope that through this small window into what may be a different world you see that this story may be your story too. It may look different and sound different, but pain is universal. Hope is too. That’s why we went because everyone is a part of this ongoing conversation. May your life look like this—where strangers become friends in an instant, where 40,000 people can feel like family, where a song and a few pictures become an infinite moment you want to tuck away so you can take it out again and again.

 So much love to all of you strangers reading this.
Know that there is someone down in Florida who believes in you.
Thank you for letting me be a part of your story.

whitney

Comments (12) | Posted in General, Journal, Music by Chris Youngblood

Dear Today (or Yesterday as the case may be), I am thankful you happened.I believe I can confidently say that today was the best Memorial Day I’ve ever had.
The others were fine, but they were just days, the possibility of a break from school or work, and (if I remembered) for remembering people who have served in my place to protect a freedom I take for granted.
(And perhaps I am a horrible person for not remembering, but that is a different blog.)
But today, I remember.

Today, I remember we are broken creatures.
I remember our brokenness is not the end, that we can let the light in through the cracks.
I remember intersections mean that we are coming from different angles.
I remember to be thankful for the crossing.
I remember we must work to sew ourselves to each other.
I remember pulling the threads takes steady fingers and commitment.
I remember that roots are worth it, no matter how temporary.
And these are pretentious and varying metaphors, yet they completely capture my Memorial Day.

Today was made of a few good conversations leading me to all those conclusions.
Tonight, I sat at a picnic table with a woman I should, by all potential intersections, already know but didn’t until two weeks ago.
As the water steadily slapped the rocks and the clouds moved like a slideshow above us, we talked about Ms. Britt and Meredith College, our love for the most beautiful of the Carolinas, the strings that attach us to where we come from and where we’ve been, and the women we believe we’ve always been and are becoming more of everyday.
When I talked about feeling like my strings are tight and the strain hurts, she tilted my perspective. 
She reminded me that tight strings make for beautiful melodies and maybe my melody of this time will serve a purpose for someone else.
And maybe that doesn’t sound profound to you, reading this on a screen.
Maybe you need the darkness and streetlights and rock-slapping water to get the full effect, but for me, for tonight, she gave the metaphor a weight I needed to see.

And I remember why I wanted to come here.
It was for conversations like today, for the intentional and genuine curiosity of a stranger that plants the seeds of beautiful friendships.
It was for nights like tonight, where, despite the bugs and the heat and the humidity and the creepers, we were not leaving that fucking bench.
Days like today make me feel more alive and more myself.
And I remember my story is mine, and I choose how to tell it.
Dear Today, I needed you very much.

Love and hope and grace and peace to you on this Tuesday.
May you have days like this, where you write all the details because they are too good for the possibility of forgetting.
Thank you for reading.

whitney

PS: To read more of Whitney's writing, check out her blog.

Comments (17) | Posted in General, Journal by Chris Youngblood

Spring 2010 UChapter Tour - University of South Carolina from To Write Love on Her Arms. on Vimeo.

Comments (4) | Posted in General, Music by Chris Youngblood

The Spring 2010 UChapter Tour has come and gone... And the road was long. Very long. 44 days, 28 events, 18 states, 1 province, 2 countries, and 10,000 miles to be exact. For those who don't know, UChapters is a college and university program that TWLOHA launched last Fall. Each chapter is lead by students and exists to bring the mission and vision of To Write Love on Her Arms to campuses across the US and Canada (for now).

Our goal with this tour was to use the music of Damion Suomi, Andy Zipf and Lauris Vidal to inspire conversations on the themes of Pain, Hope and Community. Joining the artists was a TWLOHA representative - either Chad Moses, Jason Blades or myself (Denny Kolsch) - who served as a discussion moderator between the audience and artists. Each song revealed the reality of pain and pointed to the hope found in community.

On the road we had the opportunity to enter into people's lives and homes. We shared stories and meals, slept on floors, visited quaint little towns and big bustling cities. Life was given and it was received. I'm not going to lie, planning this tour for the chapters and our team was hard and at times very stressful. But every time I heard the songs of these freakishly talented musicians and the responses of the audience, I couldn't help but to believe it was all worth it.

Every night we talked about people as if they mattered. Like really mattered. We talked about how music and other art forms have the power to help us process the pain in our lives. And likewise, how choosing to "know and be known" is often the setting where this process occurs. That every person has deep value is something we agreed we must believe. But will we choose to believe this for ourselves?

 I can't fully express how much I was moved by all the life we encountered on the road. There were so many special people and stories. Below is the first of three videos produced by our talented filming friend Dustin Miller. All three videos are from different chapter events on the UChapters Tour. The first one is from the Virginia Commonwealth University / University of Virginia combined event, which was held in Richmond, VA on April 23.

If you are interested in how to become involved with UChapters please visit twlohauchapters.com for more information.

Thank you to all the chapters and friends that made this tour happen!



With Hope,
Denny

Comments (7) | Posted in General, Music by Chris Youngblood

This story happened one week ago.

We had a team at Bamboozle in New Jersey. On the road, Chad was nearing the end of the Pick Up The Phone Tour. At the Bungalow, our interns were packing and saying goodbyes as their four-month internship came to a close. As for me, I had the weekend off – no TWLOHA events or festivals, just another average weekend in Central Florida (or so I thought.)

Saturday night my husband and I drove to Melbourne High School, the same school we graduated from almost ten years ago, for the 2010 Relay For Life event. The American Cancer Society Relay For Life is an annual event that takes place in parks and schools across the globe. It’s a memorial to remember loved ones lost to cancer, a time to celebrate with those who have survived, and a chance to fight back against this awful disease. As we approached the school we saw hundreds of cars lining the baseball field, filling the parking lots, and overflowing to areas across the street. I was blown away. I hadn’t even walked up and I was already in awe.

Music was blaring. Kids were running, playing, laughing. Booths were on both sides of the walking track selling merchandise, goodies, and food to raise additional funds for the cause. Tents and sleeping bags were set up for the night ahead. There was a rainbow of t-shirts in different colors, each t-shirt representing one of the thirty-nine teams participating that evening. Teams were made up of school faculty members, co-workers from local businesses, families, and groups of friends who in some way or another had been affected by cancer. The second we walked up, we were greeted by our friend Sean. Sean was a groomsman in our wedding and has been one of our closest friends for years. My husband and I were participating for him and for his family. His father, after a long battle with an extremely rare cancer, passed away on August 13, 2008.

The entire Relay for Life was dedicated to Sean’s father, Dr. Thomas McIntyre. He had been a prominent member of the community and was well known in the education system – he had spent years as a teacher, dean, principal and superintendent in the county. To me, he was just my friend’s dad. To me, he was a father of three boys and a husband, now missing from this family I love.

The word “SURVIVOR” printed across the back of purple t-shirts reminded everyone that the person wearing the shirt had lived through their battles with the disease. They stood out in the crowd. Without saying a word, they could relate to one another. Smiles were passed back and forth from one survivor to another, a small gesture with a lot of impact. They didn’t need to describe chemo to each another or the side effects that resulted. They had known it, felt it, it had consumed their souls, and they came out on the other side.

I thought of my friend Stacy. Her mom was diagnosed with Stage 4 Non Small Cell Non Smokers Lung Cancer in December 2004. Up until a few weeks ago, her mom would’ve proudly worn a “SURVIVOR” shirt too. But after five years in remission she was re-introduced to her worst enemy. Five years cancer-free and suddenly life changes. Again. It doesn’t add up. It doesn’t make sense. I wished in that moment that Stacy and her mom were there too, just so they could be loved, and so they could be reminded they were not alone. So their hope could be renewed.

There was a sense of unity and strength on the field that night. As the sun began to go down I noticed volunteers lighting tea lights in paper bags, each bag with the name of a friend or loved one who passed away from cancer or a message celebrating someone’s recovery. Each bag represented a story, a life. In my mind, there were too many bags, too much pain and too much struggle. It was difficult to look at. Even those celebrating in their recovery had walked through a time I could not begin to relate to. At sunset, the Luminaria Ceremony took place honoring Dr. McIntyre and all of the others affected by cancer in our community. The ceremony ended in silence, walking around the track lined with glowing luminaries.

It was a moment to reflect. A moment to remember. A moment that doesn’t happen frequently on a high school baseball field. As the lap ended, I turned to my husband and told him how crazy it was that we could’ve been walking for me; about a month and a half ago, I was tested for both bladder and kidney cancer. For some reason, I got the good news. My doctor looked me in the eyes and said I would be fine. “You do not have cancer.” I remember walking into the doctor’s office that day thinking my life could change drastically, but for some reason I was spared the diagnosis. So the question flips, why not me? Why am I so lucky? That night I was surrounded by hundreds of people whose lives had changed with a doctor visit. They had not received the good news I did. They received the bad news. The pain, the unending doctor appointments, procedures, prescriptions, treatment options, all of it. I had walked that path for a few months and it scared the hell out of me. Some have dealt with this for years. Some still do every day. And for some, like Sean’s dad, the cancer was just too strong.

That night I was invited into a community of people filled with hope, determination, and love. It was community at its finest; raw and honest. It was not sugarcoated. It was okay to be sad. It was okay to be happy. You didn’t have to act a certain way. The way you were was accepted. I hope that in whatever you are dealing with you are able to find a place where you feel safe being who you are. Whatever baggage you may carry or struggles you deal with, I hope that you can find a community like this one. Do not be ashamed. It’s okay to be scared, just do not live life alone. Talk to the people in your life you trust, or can learn to trust. Let them love you.

You are NOT replaceable.

With Love,
Jessica :)

UPDATE: As of yesterday, my friend Stacy’s mom received the news that she is cancer free again! We are all so excited and hopeful for the future. Day two and counting…

Comments (21) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

(Written after Copeland’s last American show in Orlando, FL on April 11, 2010.)

There was a lot that went into that night – the planning, the expectation, the travel, and the history.

A dear friend described the night as "saying goodbye to a big part of high school." In the office, we have a sort of specific language that revolves around music. We realize that we are drawn to music that reminds us it’s ok to sing and scream and smile and cry. Music is a safe place and a common ground, and music is one place that we can run to in attempts to make sense of our lives. Copeland had always fulfilled that purpose for me, even when I couldn't recognize that was the reason they hit me so hard.

What began as a $40 investment in a pair of tickets ended up being much more valuable. I emailed the staff to request they not book me for anything on April 11th, but this was long before a few other developments came to fruition, namely the Spring UChapters Tour and the Pick Up The Phone Tour. Once I knew I’d be on the road all of April, I told our partners in PUTP to find a replacement for me for the stop in DC, as I would be too busy standing in line at the Social in downtown Orlando that night. On April 10th, we had an event in NYC and I quickly loaded out in order to drive to DC by 4 in the morning, hop on a plane at 11 am and land in Orlando at 3 pm. From there, the plan was to celebrate the life of a band that meant so much to me and return to DC by the next morning for a press conference on Capitol Hill. Sixteen hours later and $250 poorer, I was able to arrive in DC with an uncensored smile that painted each word leaving my mouth.

Like many of you, "Brightest" was first my exposure to Copeland’s music. This marriage between ambience and "emo” – the vulnerability and lack of answers presented in the first album were what drew me in and encouraged me that questions are useful and allowed and appropriate. I found a sort of romance in the idea that, on Copeland's website, they asked their audience not to pry for the exact meanings of songs because Aaron Marsh, they felt, had exposed enough of his heart in the music itself. And this allowed me to make their songs mine.

I have talked a great deal in recent months about how music and memory are in constant interplay; music allows us to time travel and revisit the most joyous of times, and also the moments where our hearts have failed others and us. As the set started winding down, I began to fear that my favorite songs would forever exist only in mp3 form, but I was gifted with the best encore that could have been scripted for me. The band began the encore with "Brightest," the song that had played a huge role in the development of my musical tastes. Next was "Testing the Strong Ones," which (in cliché fashion) I would say is the story of my life – the description of that gap between expectation and reality, the familiar scents of hospitals and the hope that pain will end soon, the frustration with and the longing for the supernatural, the guilt and sinking feeling, and the faces of Mema, Rebekah, and Diana, and the course of events that led me to find out what brokenness truly meant – that song became my hymn. I have been tested, scarred, and held. To me, this song is a validation. The words represented everything I could not find, or rather, was afraid to find because they would scare those around me. That song made me feel less "crazy" because it was proof that someone out there knew exactly what I was feeling.

And then Aaron then said the words that the packed venue was afraid to hear. “Thank you, we love you... We were Copeland." The finality of that statement presented a stark contrast to their very last song, "You Have My Attention." The song that, to this day, keeps me searching, seeking, hoping, and moving. Where "Testing the Strong Ones" describes the story of my life, "Attention" describes the hope for what my story will become. The song is about the knowing what you are looking for and keeping that in sight. Nothing else that matters. My favorite part of this song is that it doesn't want to end. It just keeps driving and cuts in and out until it fades completely. The only reason it stops it because someone behind a studio wall decided to turn a knob to the left.

There was life in that room, and it was palpable. That night had countless faces and memories tied to every note, and that is rare. Everyone had entered through the doors with a story, and at some point in the lives of these individuals and the life of the band there had been a lyric or line or chord or sequence of tracks that brought us all together for that night.

Copeland was the first band I saw after I stopped self-injuring. I saw them in Charlottesville, VA at Starr Hill. I stood directly in front of the piano. I cried for the first time without needing booze to fuel my emotions. I felt something for the first time in years. I am quite simply indebted to these musicians and their art. They got me through those first painful weeks of lucidity and sobriety. I find healing in their words, and I find resonance in their questions. I find beauty in the word play. And now, I find comfort in their memory.

 I am Chad because they were Copeland.

Comments (12) | Posted in General, Music by Chris Youngblood

Hey guys,

Today was the last day for our Spring Interns at the office, and it’s a bittersweet ending to an awesome few months. We’ve danced, laughed and celebrated so many victories with them. We’ve shared the hard and messy parts of life. Some goodbyes have come too soon, but we are left this week with a joy that comes from knowing they are—and will continue to be—a part of our TWLOHA family.

We wanted to post the new intern video as a way to say thanks and to give you guys a behind-the-scenes look at the TWLOHA Intern Program. TWLOHA interns play a vital role in helping us reach our goal of connecting people to hope and help and community. We are looking for people willing and equipped to live out the TWLOHA mission. For info or to apply, visit www.twloha.com/move/intern-program.

Brandi, Shannon, Kim, Erin, Chelsea and Ashley, we can’t thank you guys enough for all the hard work you’ve done and for the life-giving moments you’ve brought to our team.



With Hope,
Lindsay
Intern Program Director

Comments (6) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

This Thursday we were at Mr. Small’s in the sleepy town of Millvale, PA (just outside of Pittsburgh) for the Pick Up The Phone tour with Blue October. It was quite a contrast from the night before when we were at the House of Blues in Boston, which is the biggest venue in the franchise. This building used to be a gathering place for religious individuals, coming together as a community to celebrate a common belief. So while the music may be less orthodox, a bit louder, and include words not often said from a pulpit, it is still a room that celebrates community.

It has been a pleasure spending time with the bands and fans on this tour, hearing their stories and watching them sing along with the passion of a favorite hymn from yesteryear. Across the county, we see that every person joining us in these rooms come here for a reason. Many of them planned this night months in advance - their very own musical holiday. They come here because they relate to the music, and thus, to one another.

For this tour, we are united behind the cause of suicide prevention. Ironically, it's a topic rarely discussed in circles of faith. Despite the silence of some communities, there are waves of applause whenever the topic of saving lives is announced from stage. And this is something worth celebrating. While many of you may not be able to make it out to one of the tour dates, we still want to invite you into this celebration. We want to encourage you to continue to have the tough conversations, to help someone struggling.

Also, a key part of this tour is promoting IMAlive. We are still in the process of accepting volunteer applications for this new program and would be honored to have your help as we continue our journey toward the first live, online 100% trained and certified suicide prevention network.

Tickets are still available for most of the remaining dates. Find out more at putp.org. See you on the road.

With hope,
Chad

Comments (9) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hey guys,

The Spring 2010 UChapter Tour is kicking off tonight at 7pm at Coffee Culture in Gainesville, FL and we’re really excited to be heading out. We’ll be stopping at 29 TWLOHA chapter university and college campuses beginning with the University of Florida tonight, picking back up at University of Texas-Austin March 22nd right after South by Southwest, and closing out on April 28th at the University of South Florida. This tour will cover areas in the South, Southwest, Midwest, Northeast and Southeast. Click here for dates and info.

As this is our very first tour for the UChapter Program—which launched in the fall of 2009—our hope is to leave each night having connected students and their local community to their representative UChapter. Each of these chapters exists to support students by bringing TWLOHA's mission and vision to campus, and this tour is just one expression of that goal.

We’re bringing you music and conversation; each night a discussion will be led by a TWLOHA representative alongside musicians Damion Suomi, Andy Zipf, and Lauris Vidal. With our choice to use intimate venues (mostly coffee shops and houses) we are attempting to create a safe place to speak honestly about the topics of pain, hope and community. Our goal is for this to be an evening of openness and vulnerability, leaving people encouraged, inspired and ultimately hopeful, realizing they are not alone in their pain and that their story matters.

During the tour we are also very excited to introduce several new chapters that have officially launched this spring term: University of South Florida, University of South Carolina, Marist College, Mississippi University for Women, St. Edwards University, James Madison University and our first Canada-based chapter, University of Windsor!

Stay posted. We’re going to have more blogs coming your way, plus a new tour video to give you an idea of what to expect when we meet you guys on campus…

with hope,
Denny
UChapter Director

Comments (5) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

I grew up in a small, rural and coastal town in Massachusetts. My family lived close enough to the city to take a trip whenever we wanted too, yet our surroundings would make us feel and think otherwise. Our closest neighbors were the beach and the gang of farm animals that we could hear next door every morning as they all woke up for each new day. I liked to adventure and learn, but as long as it was close to home. I wanted to keep learning as much as I could about my surroundings, as long as I didn’t have to let go of my mom’s hand. It is safe to say that living in such a small town and never leaving home had created a kid who had become very ethnocentric. I knew plenty about where I grew up, but I couldn’t imagine that a world outside of mine even existed.

This attitude continued until my senior year of college where I made the commute to a local state school only thirty minutes away. It wasn’t until my last semester of college that all of this changed. I decided to take a chance and applied for an internship with a cause that I felt passionate about, TWLOHA. If I am being completely honest, I will tell you that there is no way I ever saw myself getting accepted as an intern, let alone moving to Florida to participate. Within the month, I had put my final semester of college on hold and was driving down to Florida with most of my belongings to join 5 other new interns who were taking on the same new adventure. I made the choice to move despite what some people around me thought. I moved because I was ready to learn more, ready to learn and work for something I felt passionate about.

My internship ended in August when I came home in preparation for my last semester of college. Over the course of my internship, I had the privilege of standing behind the TWLOHA booth: meeting, talking and learning from so many people on Warped Tour every day. Through everyone we met on the road and my fellow interns, I learned so much about people all over: listening to their stories, their adventures, passions and desires. It made taking a chance, stepping out of my comfort zone and moving so far away from home well worthwhile. In December, I finished up school and got the invitation to go to Australia with TWLOHA for Soundwave. It was only a year ago that I decided to take a chance a step out of my comfort zone and venture away from home, now I was headed to another country for the first time!

Chris and I just returned from the adventure of a lifetime in Australia, on Soundwave Festival. Chris had gone to Australia last year with TWLOHA, but this was my first journey to the land down under. Soundwave Travels across the large continent in 2 weeks, with five stops in five major cities: Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne, Adelaide, and Perth. After landing in Brisbane, I found myself teeming with excitement. I had a hard time sleeping most of our trip; some say it was jetlag, but I disagree. I was so excited to meet so many people from all over and to see a new and beautiful country that I couldn’t find any time to sleep. Excitement and fresh faces at the booth were my fuel for each and every day where sleep was lacking.

Each and every city of our trip had so many new people to learn from and great things to experience. In Sydney, Chris and I got to lay under the stars at the foot of The Opera House and Harbor Bridge with friends. We walked around Melbourne and saw a city with amazing architecture and beautiful culture. In Perth, we took the tourist drive up the coast that ended with a dip in the ocean and a breathtaking sunset over Trigg Beach. We even got to plan some tourist activities that involved koalas, kangaroos, vegemite and a cool looking currency.

By far, the highlight of my trip and adventure in Australia was meeting so many new people and making new friends every day. Everyone at the booth, on the road, and at the airport, I owe my experience to you. Thank you for bringing us to Australia this year. This is for everyone that stopped by the booth to say hello, to everyone that showed curiosity or support for TWLOHA’s message, and for those who came simply to talk. Thank you to all of my friendly flight neighbors who wanted to share conversation, stories and friendship. Thanks for showing me a hospitable and beautiful culture and country. Thank you for my adventure, being my teacher and allowing me to learn. It has been a powerful trip, and I owe it all to you. Thank you for making me feel at home, even though home was half the world away.

Thank you again to everyone in Australia, from Warped and on the road that I have met that have made me feel like I am at home, even when home is so far away. I cant wait to see you all again.

See you so soon,
Jason

Comments (10) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hello from Australia!

Jason and I landed in Brisbane last week to get ready for our trip around Australia on Soundwave. This is my second year doing the festivals for TWLOHA and Jason's first, which was great for two reasons. One, I have been here before and was excited to share some of the things I remember with him. And two, I knew what was going through his head. The anticipation of coming to a new continent not knowing what to expect except the beauty that we've been fed through television and movies over the years.

The trip over was as smooth as it could have been. There were no delays or bags lost and we had great company in a sweet lady named Sonia beside us. As I thought back to last year, I remembered feeling humbled and honored to experience some of these cities just once in my lifetime. Living in America, in a time zone 14 hours away, you carry this mysterious wonder about what this giant island could be like, and to have some of those thoughts and questions answered is such an amazing feeling. I flew home last year processing every bit of the trip, conversations and random unexpected things that happened (like dipping my toes in the Indian Ocean). Returning this year, walking through and driving around the cities, I realized how much more there was to experience of this country. There is so much more than just it's beauty, which is overwhelming in itself.

Being in Brisbane and Sydney for the first two dates of Soundwave reminded us of this. We've had great interactions with everyone here, spreading the ideas of hope and help and community that a lot of you are familiar with hearing us talk about. Even seeing the faces of people we met last year and having conversations with them, noticing a difference in their step and in their tone of voice, hearing how much their lives have changed in just one year, was such a warm welcome for us. Words and stories like these bring the feeling that our presence last year was not just for selling t-shirts, but for a bigger picture. The ideas that we try to communicate every day in the work we do.

Thank you for bringing us back. Really, thank you. You guys are the ones who used your voices over the past four years to say that these issues matter. That these struggles are real. That people aren't discussing them enough. We were invited here because the people putting together Soundwave believe in our message and what we're trying to do, and see the impact it has on this community that we're all a part of. You have allowed our message to reach so many around the world, and being here reminds me of that. Melbourne, Adelaide, and Perth - we can't wait to see you again.

All the best,
Chris

Comments (9) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

For only 10 days we're auctioning off a limited-edition HEAVY AND LIGHT collection filled with momentos and merchandise from the night.

All bundles contain the following items:

- 1 HEAVY AND LIGHT info card
- 1 HEAVY AND LIGHT program
- 1 HEAVY AND LIGHT shirt
- 1 8x10 HEAVY AND LIGHT flyer
- 1 18x24 HEAVY AND LIGHT screen printed poster autographed by the artists.

These eight unique bundles are only available through eBay's Giving Works. To place your bid, create an account on eBay and go to the Official To Write Love on Her Arms profile. Select an auction, and start bidding!  Auctions will run from February 15th to February 25th.

Comments (1) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

We would like you to join us for the third annual Valentine's Day Live Chat. You'll need to go to AbsolutePunk.net this Sunday night (2/14) at 8pm EST. If you want to participate in the chat, you'll need to create an account. It's easy and it's free.

Comments (33) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hi guys,

January was an exciting month for our team and our partners at the Kristin Brooks Hope Center as we continued working to launch IMAlive. Once launched, IMAlive will be a live online crisis network with 100% of its staff and volunteers trained and certified in crisis intervention, making it the first of its kind. With your help and your votes, we were able to raise $100,000 for IMAlive through the Chase Community Giving contest.

We wanted to update you about where we are now with the project.

Currently, we are in the beta testing phase for the online training and certification program developed in partnership between the Kristin Brooks Hope Center and the QPR Institute, both leaders in suicide prevention. The program is completed entirely through the Internet and is tailored to train volunteers to work online in crisis intervention. We have invited 120 volunteers to also complete the training in the next phase.

Over the past few days, our staff and interns have completed over 2/3 of the program, and are currently completing the two outside readings Suicide: The Forever Decision and Counseling Suicidal People: A Therapy of Hope by Dr. Paul Quinnett.  We are learning how to provide emotional support for people in crisis and to evaluate suicide risk. To be honest, many of us entered the training excited to learn more but were a bit nervous about our ability to help people in crisis because we are not, nor claim to be, trained mental health professionals. But as we continue to walk through the training, we are becoming more empowered and feel confident in our ability to help people survive perhaps the darkest hour of their lives. The training has also taught us that even after we learn techniques and methods, the most important thing we can offer the people we will respond to is our heart and the message that their story and their life matters.

Dr. Paul Quinnett reminds us of this as he teaches: “Your willingness to listen and to be empathetic sends a message of hope, and the restoration of hope is one of the key elements in reducing immediate suicide risk."

If you want more information about IMAlive, check out our site and please consider becoming a volunteer responder.

With Hope,
Lindsay
Intern Program Director & IMAlive Project Manager

Comments (16) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Click here to vote for TWLOHA to win $1 million for suicide prevention.

Comments (128) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Meet Anis Mojgani. The two-time National Slam Poetry Champion stole the show at HEAVY AND LIGHT, reminding everyone the power of words and the value in their stories.  Here, he performs "Shake the Dust." Enjoy.

Comments (17) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

A look behind the scenes at HEAVY AND LIGHT 2009. From sound check to food talk to the boys working on the encore... We hope to see you Saturday night when we do it all again.



You can buy tickets to Heavy and Light 2010, January 9th at the House of Blues Orlando through TicketMaster.com here.

Comments (2) | Posted in Music by Chris Youngblood

In case you missed it, HEAVY AND LIGHT '09 was something special. Here's a taste - 2 minutes and 33 seconds of Awesome. We hope to see you this Saturday at HOB Orlando when we do it all again.



You can buy tickets to Heavy and Light 2010, January 9th at the House of Blues Orlando through TicketMaster.com here.

Comments (5) | Posted in Music by Chris Youngblood

HEAVY AND LIGHT '09 began with white text against black and a simple song. This is that video, along with moments from the night and the sound of the crowd. We hope to see you when it happens again, Saturday Jan. 9, 2010 at House of Blues Orlando.

Comments (7) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Comments (14) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

This past weekend, five members from the TWLOHA team flew up to chilly Toronto, Canada where we held our first ever international MOVE Community Conference! This was a really special event for us because it’s the start of something that is going to happen a lot this coming year: helping attendees feel more equipped to engage difficult topics and care for the members of their communities. It is always a privilege for our team to see people become more comfortable having conversations about the issues we deal with, and leaving an event encouraged and equipped to start the same discussions back home. 

We shared stories, made some great new friends, learned from our Licensed Mental Health Counselor friends, Aaron and Michelle Moore, and drank a LOT of Tim Horton’s coffee. (For our American friends out there, think Dunkin Donuts, only in honor of a famous hockey player.)

Wish you could have made it to Toronto? It’s not too late to sign up for MOVE Orlando, January 8-9, 2009. It’ll be a tad warmer, and you’ll get a free ticket to Heavy and Light happening the evening of the 9th.

Comments (6) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hey Guys,

We are excited to announce SocialVibe's Givapalooza and your chance to help us win $20K for IMAlive, the first live peer-to-peer suicide prevention service (for more info, click here). Givapalooza is a month-long competition for 10 charities on SocialVibe.com to compete and reach their goal before another one does. If the goal is reached by December 31st, SocialVibe will double the donation amount. On top of that, SocialVibe will be donating to the teams who reach their goals first. This is a chance to win $20,000 through SocialVibe this month and we've asked for a little help. Our friends in Boys Like Girls are on board to help us win. This is where you come in.

Our goal is reached by completed activities on our SocialVibe.com page. The more activities you complete, the more points you get, the quicker we make it to our goal! You can do anything from telling HTC what makes you unique, to writing a letter of encouragement to the women of Dress for Success. We promise it's that easy : )

Go to socialvibe.com/towriteloveonherarms now to start completing activities and help us win $20K for IMAlive!

Thanks for being part of this,
Chris

PS: Facebook users, if you want to help a little more, you can vote for us in Chase Community Giving for $25,000! Become a fan of Chase Community Giving and vote for us here.

PS2: We're also up for Mashable.com's Open Web Awards for the "Best Non-Profit Use of Social Media" and it only takes one click to vote : )

Comments (11) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Steven Smith of Fuse talks storytelling, branding, technology, touring and more with TWLOHA's Jamie Tworkowski, Charity:Water's Phillip Crosby and Invisible Children's Alex Collins during CMJ 2009 in NYC. Zach Williams brings the music.

Music for Good (CMJ Panel) from To Write Love on Her Arms. on Vimeo.

Comments (2) | Posted in General, Music by Chris Youngblood

December 4th and 5th we will be bringing MOVE to Toronto, ON and we would like to invite you to be a part of it. Our MOVE community conferences are two day events where we look more in depth at some of the issues TWLOHA addresses. It is an effort to begin a conversation that battles stigma and shame with honesty and compassion. Led by professional counselors Aaron and Michelle Moore and some of the TWLOHA staff, attendees will gain a better understanding of what is behind these struggles, what drives them, what recovery looks like and how we can make a difference. Our hope is that you leave encouraged, inspired, and informed. MOVE conferences are done in a limited size, allowing for difficult topics to be presented and discussed in a personal setting which lends to more dynamic interaction between participants and staff. It has been this interaction and format that has made the MOVE conferences impacting for those who have attended. We would love for you to come and join us!

Click here for more info on registration.

MOVE Community Conference from To Write Love on Her Arms. on Vimeo.

Comments (9) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hey Guys,

We posted a blog a couple days ago inviting anyone who could make it to NYC this Saturday for a photo shoot. You can read the full blog here.

Here's the update: Due to weather this weekend, the NYC photo shoot has been moved to Friday (11/13). The plan is 1:30pm at Washington Square Park. Meet at the Arch!

There's a form you need to fill out if you want to participate in the shoot. If you send an email to nyc@twloha.com, we'll send you the form.

Here's the fine print: You don't get paid and your name won't appear in the magazine. But there's a chance you will get to be part of a group photograph that will appear in the magazine.

We're excited to have you be a part of this and hope you can make it out.

Comments (4) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Jamie talks Woodie Awards, gets a sweet pair of headphones and has a tough time introducing himself...

Comments (13) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

When we woke up to get ready for the Out of the Darkness Walk in Cocoa Beach, it was still dark outside.  We loaded up in the van to go to the park. The walk was sponsored by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.  We checked in and met Angela, the woman who organized the walk for our area.  She wore a button on her shirt with a smiling young woman with long auburn hair on it.  It’s her sister Carla—she died by suicide two years ago.  Today, her family walked for her. We did too.

 
Memory boards covered one picnic table.  It was a place for attendees to write special messages to friends and family lost to suicide. This is a message to a father:

 

Before beginning the walk, Angela gathered everyone together.  She shared the story of her sister’s long battle against depression.  She talked about how important it is that we reach out to others, to make it real when we say “you are not alone.”  She stressed the importance of medication and therapy.  She said her family wanted to do this walk in an effort to help people like their sister.  With a group of no more than thirty-five people, together, we set out to walk three miles, half on the sidewalk along the road, half on the beach.  The sun had been rising in the sky, and the light was erasing the darkness.

We walked for the memories.
We walked for the families.
We walked for the names on our banner posted to the memory board. 
We walked for the woman on the beach who lost her brother to suicide.
We walked with the family who lost their father two months ago.
We walked with the woman who lost her father thirteen years ago to suicide, who attempted to take her own life seven years ago. 
We walked so that we don’t forget.
We walked because we are all connected.
We walked to let our stories come together, to tell a greater story of hope.
Yes, we walked for HOPE.



It was an honor to be a part of such an intimate setting, walking with such a freshness of healing.  We are grateful to have been there, to literally walk through this with people in our community. We entered the walk among strangers, and left with friends, left with people who truly cared for one another, left with encouragement that we are doing the right thing. We left in the light.

so much love.
whitney
fall 09 intern

Comments (54) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hey Guys,

Exciting news and quite the surprise: We found out this week that TWLOHA founder Jamie Tworkowski has been nominated for a 2009 mtvU Woodie Award - it's the "Good Woodie" award and he's up against Alicia Keys, John Legend, Wyclef Jean, Kenna and Ra Ra Riot. According to MTV, the Good Woodie "is the award for the artist whose commitment to a social cause has effected the greatest change this year."





- CLICK HERE TO VOTE NOW!

- Keep voting - there's no limit to how many times you can vote between now and Nov. 16

- Help spread the word (tell, talk, blog, tweet, etc)

- Add this banner to your MySpace page:



Add this banner to your page:
<a href="http://www.mtv.com/ontv/woodieawards/2009/good-woodie/" target="new"><img src="http://www.twloha.com/files/library/woodiestbanner.gif" width="500" height="100" border="0" /></a>

- Click here to add the "Vote" twibbon to your Twitter default.

- Add the Woodie background to your Twitter page.

As Jamie said, we're here because of your voice and your support. It means more than you know - thanks for being incredible.

Comments (6) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hey Guys,

For those active in the field of Mental Health, Fall is the season dedicated to Suicide Prevention. Over the past three years, TWLOHA has been privileged to be part of ongoing conversations on topics such as suicide that often are not talked about. We’ve been on the receiving end of countless stories that demand not only an emotional response, but also a tangible response. We are moved by the fact that suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death for young Americans. We are challenged with knowing that suicide is the most preventable form of death. These facts require attention, action, and conversation.

By being a part in these conversations, we developed a friendship with the National Hopeline, which runs the network many recognize as 1-800-SUICIDE. This free and confidential service has been operating for 11 years now and has answered over three million phone calls. Three million lives that in a moment of courage and confession reached out for help. Three million people reminded that their life matters and their story is important. Three million stories that might have ended too soon.

Last year we launched a campaign to help pay 1-800-SUICIDE’s phone bill and ensure that their legacy of hope would continue. This year we are taking the commitment a step further and helping 1-800-SUICIDE along with PostSecret produce the first ever Suicide Prevention Music Tour featuring Blue October. The month long venture is called the Pick Up The Phone Tour. It is one thing to write checks, but what is closest to our hearts is proactively meeting people where they are. Keeping our vision in mind, proceeds from this tour will be going towards developing a new online chat network called IM Alive (Instant Message Alive) which will work much like 1-800-SUICIDE: free and confidential.

The tour will be starting with a conversation, that you are invited to, on Capitol Hill in Washington D.C. on October 21st. Justin Furstenfeld of Blue October along with Reese Butler, founder of 1-800-SUICIDE, will be addressing Congress on these issues. If you want to be a part of this first day and acoustic set, please visit PUTP.org and reply to the RSVP at the bottom of the page (while the event is free, the space is limited). Tickets are on sale now at PUTP.org for all the other dates as well as brand new Pick Up the Phone shirts. We can’t wait to join you for these nights of hope and healing, but even if you cannot join us on the tour, we would encourage you to check out the shirt and start conversations in your own community.

For more information on the tour and what we believe about these issues, please check out our PSA below. We are really excited about this video and we hope that you will help us share it. It’s a combination of Jamie’s words, James Earl Jones' voice, video work by our friend Dustin Miller, and dozens of caring strangers that all came together in about two days… and we could not be more proud of the finished product.



See you on the road.
With hope,
Chad

Comments (12) | Posted in Music by Chris Youngblood

We were going to post a blog today. Instead, we decided to try something a little different. The image below is an attempt to include you in the process. (click image to enlarge)



We hope you guys can make it. We hope that you might even go as faras to get together with friends and with family and watch together. Ultimately, we hopethat when the cameras turn off, you keep talking.

Click here to watch the live webcast on October 5th at 8PM EST. Music by Damion Suomi and Andy Zipf. To join the conversation, send all questions and comments via Twitter by starting your Tweets with @TWLOHA. You can also help promote the webcast by posting the banner below on your page or making it your profile picture.



Add this banner to your page:
&lt;a href="http://img43.imageshack.us/i/webcastslide3.jpg/"&gt;&lt;img src="http://img43.imageshack.us/img43/194/webcastslide3.jpg" alt="Image Hosted by ImageShack.us" border="0" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;

Comments (10) | Posted in General, Music by Chris Youngblood

Hey guys!

Jamie has asked me to introduce myself, and I’m excited to be able do so. My name is Kaitlyn, and I am looking forward to getting to share with you over the next couple of months. Let me tell you a bit about why I’m here…

I’m studying Social Work at The Florida State University in Tallahassee, FL. This summer, I am working with TWLOHA’s internship program (which, by the way, is still accepting applications for this fall until July 10th – check out our News section for more info). I was awarded an Undergraduate Research and Creative Activity Award to conduct a research project, and I am exploring the use of creative expression in bringing about self-care and a sense of empowerment for people working in the mental health arena.

I love words. I love to write. One reason I love this organization so much is because of how we value stories – we say that they matter and we mean it. Personally, I believe that as we are able to explore our own voices and come to realize the power that comes with sharing our stories with others we move ever-closer toward change and healing, surrounded by people who “get us.” It is one thing to hear someone say, “You are important and what you have to say matters,” and it is something completely different to know it deep inside yourself. To own it.

At TWLOHA, we love our role of getting to share simple, honest, true statements from a platform that is capable of reaching so many – statements that pierce darkness, break through stigma and suffering, and creep into the darkest of situations and secrets, only to find themselves even truer still. This week, as Jamie speaks on a stage at Cornerstone Festival in Illinois, our Warped Tour team is trekking across Texas meeting some of you at our tent, and I’m sitting in a coffee shop in Central Florida writing to you. We are all communicating the same message: You are not alone. You are loved. You have a story to tell, and it matters.

It resonates, this message of hope.

What I am forever grateful for during my time here this summer is my ability to witness encouragement happening all around me, whether it’s in a vulnerable, heart-felt MySpace message, or in my writing workshop with our interns. This week, I asked the interns to write a few notes of encouragement for one-another in regards to each person’s writing style.  The stuff they shared about each other went way beyond syntax and their ability to breathe life onto a piece of paper. Their encouragement was validating, loving, honest and true. They spoke about one another’s character, insight, natural talents and passions as they were evidenced in writing; simple little lists of, “This, you do well. You are unique, valuable, special, and you have something important to share.”

By summer’s end, I’m looking forward to finishing up my project and hopefully adding some real, researched data to this idea that our stories matter and that hope and help are real – for all of us.

What I want to remind you about today is that each of us has the ability to encourage others in real-life; the tangible, the face-to-face. Why not call a friend today? Write a letter to a parent you’ve been fighting with. Hug someone and tell them you’re not giving up on them and that you love them. Join us in encouraging others to dream, to breathe deeply, to fill up their lungs with air and be fully alive, knowing they are fully loved.

I believe it all starts with words, and with you.

Love.
Kaitlyn

Comments (27) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

2/24/09: Our friend Renee Yohe celebrates three years of sobriety.

Renee, 3 Years. from To Write Love on Her Arms. on Vimeo.

Comments (86) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hi Everyone,

Some of you already know me, but for many others let me introduce myself - my name is Aaron Moore.  My wife Michelle and I both work as professional counselors in the Orlando area.  We first got involved with TWLOHA a few years back, back when there were only a few of us.  Being a counselor, I have always loved the vision of the organization and our common desire for helping others find hope and healing from the issues of addiction, depression, self-injury and suicide.   

One of the things that we often talk about with TWLOHA is that we want to begin a conversation about issues like addiction, depression, self-injury and suicide.  A conversation about things that are not usually talked about, but instead kept hidden.  All too often, these issues carry with them a deep sense of shame, which only keeps them in the dark.  We have attempted to start a conversation that begins in hard and dark places, but one that continues in hope, and ultimately moves towards healing.

We believe that hope comes in the context of relationships, in a place called community.  One of the questions that we usually ask whenever we are on the road is, “As a friend or family member of someone struggling through hard issues such as these, what makes it so difficult to talk about?”  While there are many different answers, one of the most common things that we hear is ‘fear.’  Often it’s the fear of not knowing the right words to say to someone or what to do or say to make sure they get help.  Sometimes we fear our friends might get angry at us for talking about it, or worse, we fear that if we talk about these issues in their life then we might have to face the issues in our own.  

Our hope is that these conversations battle the stigma and shame by bringing these issues out of the darkness, but also that they fight the fear by helping us understand and know the truth about issues like addiction, depression, and self-injury.

To continue these conversations this year, TWLOHA is hosting MOVE conferences that will allow small groups of people to dig a little deeper.  At these conferences, we want to look at each of the issues relevant to TWLOHA in order to gain a deeper understanding of them, as well as what help, healing, and treatment look like for each.  The goal is not to learn how to counsel our friends or to learn the right steps that will solve all of these issues and fix everything.  Instead, we want to educate ourselves about the issues, while looking at how we can go deeper in caring for those around us and allowing others to care for us in community.  

Our hope for the MOVE conferences (this spring break) is that we can all walk away with greater understanding, and while we won’t have all the answers, we can have confidence that we can move together towards hope and healing.   

For more details on dates and cost for MOVE 09, CLICK HERE.

We hope to meet you there.
Aaron and Michelle Moore

Comments (5) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

HEAVY AND LIGHT Live Webcast!!

Hey Guys,

We've been busy getting ready for HEAVY AND LIGHT and we have some really exciting news to announce. There are still tickets available for tomorrow night but, for everyone who isn't able to make it to Orlando, we will be broadcasting the entire show right here. This live webcast is being made possible by SyncLive.com and they are helping us make this happen and there are a couple different ways you can watch the show and help spread the word. The night starts at 6:00 PM EST and ends at 10. You can watch it right here in this blog or you can go to our profile on SyncLive where the format will be chat style and you can join in a conversation with people from all around the world by clicking the link under the video player. You can tell your friends to watch by grabbing the embed code from our profile and posting the player to your page (blog, bulletins, etc).

Comments (23) | Posted in General, Music by Chris Youngblood

Last summer, we were approached by a music video director named Robby Starbuck about working with him on a music video project for the band A Skylit Drive. After hearing why he wanted to incorporate TWLOHA into this video and the response from the guys in the band when he pitched the idea, we had no hesitation.

Read more

Comments (23) | Posted in General, Music by Chris Youngblood

Hey Everyone,

I'm sitting here at the bungalow. It's been a very busy week for us. Right now, Jamie and several members of the team are headed up to Athens, GA to kick off the east coast tour, "An Evening with To Write Love on Her Arms." This was an idea created over chicken fingers and burgers just over a month ago, and it's something we've been looking forward to ever since.

Read more

Comments (8) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

The vision is that we actually believe these things…

You were created to love and be loved. You were meant to live life in relationship with other people, to know and be known. You need to know that your story is important and that you're part of a bigger story. You need to know that your life matters.

We live in a difficult world, a broken world. My friend Byron is very smart - he says that life is hard for most people most of the time. We believe that everyone can relate to pain, that all of us live with questions, and all of us get stuck in moments. You need to know that you're not alone in the places you feel stuck.

Read more

Comments (37) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

hey guys.

i just sat down to write a quick bulletin, but it seems there's more to say...

it's pretty late in florida, a little less late in south dakota, which is where i woke up this morning.  spoke to something wild last night, like 50,000 people, at a festival in sioux falls.  they gave me a few minutes before switchfoot went on... such a privilege to have the opportunity to talk about real things - pain and hope and help and the idea of community - in front of so many folks.   and who would have thought that our biggest crowd ever would happen in south dakota?

Read more

Comments (6) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hello Hello.

The guys from Bayside are on a list of friends who feel like family.  It's been one of our favorite parts of TWLOHA - the stories that we've been invited into and the friends that have become a part of ours, perhaps yourself included.  Bayside has spent the last six weeks making a record in Los Angeles and i had the privilege of being there for the grand finale...  So Anthony was handed a copy of the final mixes Friday night and we jumped in my little rental car to go meet some friends for dinner.  

Anthony puts the CD in and i turn it up and he gives me a little intro for each song.  We're on the 405 north and the sun is low and bright against the hills.  The songs are good and so i tell him and it crosses my mind that this is probably one of the cooler things ever to happen in a Dodge Caliber.  We get a few songs in and it comes to a place where there's a whole bunch of people singing.  The part really stands out and so i ask him about it.

Read more

Comments (3) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hey Guys.

Every now and then we come across something special, and it's exciting for us to be able to share it with you.  We don't do this a lot because we want our words to weigh something, and we think your time is valuable.  As we've said before, this blog is perhaps also something like a stage and we love to lend the stage to things that we believe in.  It might be a song, or a story that found us, or some bright moment.  The criteria is pretty simple: This stage exists to point to hope and help, and to inspire community...

Read more

Comments (0) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hey Everyone,

Chris here, writing from a very chilly Saskatoon, Canada today. This is my first experience out of the states and so far all I've been able to accomplish is to find one of six Olive Gardens in this country. Jon, Emily and myself are out here to wrap up the rest of this year's Warped Tour. This entire summer has been really great to us. From experiencing the response from everyone coming out to the tour and showing their support for TWLOHA, to witnessing a traveling community day after day - a convoy of buses tunneling through the night to the next venue where we build our city of tents and stages in a strategic and routine fashion… it's quite amazing to say the least. 

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From Renee:
The entry below is taken from the first page in my book, Purpose for the Pain. It is the beginning of one of my first journals.  Sitting here reflecting on where I was then, and where I am now, I hardly recognize the girl that wrote these words…

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This blog isn't really about Coldplay. 

They are on the cover of pretty much every music magazine in the world at the moment, so i think they're doing okay whether we talk about them or not.  This is more about our map.  What i mean is, i think that part of the point of this blog is to share things that feel true - things that remind us how we ended up here and where we're trying to go and why and how, things that feel relevant to our journey - our journey as TWLOHA and our journey as you and me.  i like the idea of this being a place where you can find things that are encouraging and honest and inspiring and hopeful.  i like the idea of this being a place where you can find things that remind you to keep going, or that it's okay to be honest, or that you're not alone...

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Hey Guys.

Hello from California.  We had a great first day on Warped Tour yesterday.  It's really a cool thing to have so many friends in one place.  Exciting to see all of the new faces as well.  We spent a lot of time with the Anberlin guys yesterday.  It's a special time for them as they're playing Main Stage all summer and then their new record "New Surrender" comes out in September.  i heard some of it last night and it's seriously amazing.  We love those guys.  They feel like family and we are honored by their part in our story.

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Hello from California.

First off, i want to say thank you. That Father's Day blog was a big one for me and i want to thank you guys for your response. The comments meant a lot. i think we all need to be reminded that we're not the only ones with elephants, and maybe it's even more important to begin to believe that we can ask them to leave.

i asked my dad about the blog and it meant a lot to hear him say he liked it. He was honest and said it felt a little weird having our stuff "out there", but if other people can somehow be encouraged by our story, then it's worth it.

Hard to explain but i've felt different since Sunday night. Maybe we don't realize how much we're carrying around until we begin to let go of some of it. It's like that, i think. It feels really good, and i haven't been able to say that in a long time.

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Hi Guys.

This blog is for my dad and yours and for you and for the dads we've never met, 50 years ago and 50 years from now.  There are some things we can't change and there are some things we can.  This blog is about the idea that if we're not careful, the days turn into years and our rooms fill up with elephants.  This blog is also about asking the elephants to leave.

i had planned to write this blog last night - it was Father's Day and we've talked about how it's a difficult day for a lot of people and i told you there would be a new blog... i thought about it all day - things i wanted to mention.  The basketball game was on at my parents' house and my dad was sitting on the couch across from me.  i had told him we would watch the game together, and i guess i was pretending that if i wrote the blog in the same room as dad and game, a case could be made that we  "watched the game together."  Basically, i had two things to do and both felt important and i didn't know what to do.

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Hey Guys.

Part 1:
A lot of you know have you heard me talk about a guy named Donald Miller. Don is my favorite author and probably my favorite speaker as well. He wrote a book called Blue Like Jazz and it changed a lot of things for me. It's a pretty special thing when one of your heroes becomes one of your friends and that's how it's gone for me with Don.

Anyway, Don is doing a cool thing right now. He is riding a bicycle across America. Now, you might be asking, "Why is Don riding a bicycle across America?". Good question. He is partnering with an organization called Blood:Water Mission to help build wells in Africa, so that people there can have clean drinking water. It is something that most of us reading (and writing) this blog don't think twice about. Clean water is just part of life. Hot when you want it hot, cold when you want it cold. Whatever whenever we want... But this isn't realty for millions of people around the world.

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Hi Guys.

Please watch this. This video says so many things. It's a picture of what we want to be about. It's what we mean when we say that your story is important, and that we're all in this together. This is that Jimmy Eat World lyric, "Believe your voice can mean something." This is a reminder that suicide prevention is real and possible. This is a reminder that hope is real. And we all have a part to play.

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/world/2008/06/10/lah.japan.suicide.cliff.cnn

Let's live like this.
Peace to you.
jamie

Comments (0) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hey Guys.

Our friends in Switchfoot do a really cool thing every early June. It's an event they call the Switchfoot Bro-Am and it's a day of surfing, music and fun. Each year, the Bro-Am benefits a different local charity - this year it's the Oceanside and San Diego branches of StandUp For Kids, a national nonprofit volunteer outreach organization that began in San Diego and is dedicated to making a difference in the lives of at-risk, homeless, and street kids.

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Between the Trees. These guys are our friends. We are so proud of them for all they've accomplished over the last year. This is a young band attempting to make music that matters, and they're a band that you will continue to hear more and more about.

Between the Trees has been part of the TWLOHA story since day one. I wrote in the original (TWLOHA) story "Ryan sits in the corner strumming an acoustic guitar, singing songs she's inspired." Ryan is Ryan Kirkland, from BTT, and one of those songs was this one, "The Way She Feels".

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Comments (7) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hey Guys.

i just got an email from my friend Nicole, who works at a Hot Topic store in New York. Sounds like TWLOHA (Title) shirts are back in Hot Topic stores.

Now, this is Part 3 of the TWLOHA/Hot Topic adventure. If you're feeling a little out of the loop...
Here's Part 1.
Here's Part 2.

We call our original shirt "Title", because before "To Write Love on Her Arms" was the name of an organization or a movement, it was the title of a story. Well, the shirts that just showed up at Hot Topic look the same on the outside, but there's something new on the inside. There's been a lot of questions about this. i want to be clear that it's not "the new story". This is simply something new that i wrote for those shirts. i wanted to write something that would introduce TWLOHA, how we started and the surprising journey we've been on for the last two years. More than anything, i wanted to introduce hope.

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Comments (21) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hey Guys.

How are you?  How was your week?  Weird week for me.  i've been sick.  Rest of the team is busy as we've got 12 new folks showing up tomorrow, to spend their summer interning with TWLOHA.  Michael and Jon are getting ready for two months of Warped Tour.  Michael led the charge for us last summer, so he's an old pro at this point...

There's a couple people i want you to meet, and i've asked them to say hello.  They are our friends from far away.  Climbed the borders to be here...  Byron and i met Gemma when we were in Australia back in March.  She came all the way from Melbourne to spend some time working with us.  So, meet Gemma the Australian:

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Hi Guys.

Hello from home.  It's good to be back in Florida.  Strange timing, just getting back and then these fires.  Been watching all of it on the news for the last three days.  On Monday, from my back porch, you could see the smoke blowing in from across the river.  300 acres burned just a few miles from our office ("the bungalow") in Cocoa.  According to FEMA, there were 120 different fires burning throughout Florida as of today.  Nearly 26,000 acres burned.  Thankfully, no lives were lost and it sounds like the situation is under control tonight. 

It feels small even mentioning the fires in light of the recent cyclone in Burma and the earthquake in China.  The numbers are staggering - thousands dead and thousands more missing.  i don't know what to say.  Life is a fragile, uncertain thing.  Our thoughts and prayers are with those across the miles tonight.

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Hello from a road called 81 in Virginia.

Virginia is looking good today - doing it's best impression of England. We had a great night last night in Asheville. Such a cool town and it's always good to be back in North Carolina. i was born there (NC) and it always has a way of causing me to remember...

Two weeks ago, we posted a blog announcing that TWLOHA shirts would be available in 650 Hot Topic stores around the country. We saw a pretty incredible response as the news was met with a ton of excitement and it was also a chance for us to wrestle with and respond to criticism. An honest conversation, you might say...

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Comments (0) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hello Hello.

A few weeks back, we posted a short video of Renee talking about her two years of sobriety.  The response has been pretty incredible.  Below is an extended version, filmed the same day.  We love and believe in Renee.  We believe that she will be moving people with her story for the rest of her life, and we're excited to say that you'll be seeing and hearing more from her soon...

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Hi Guys.

Yesterday marked 13 years since the Oklahoma City bombing, and today is the nine year anniversary of the tragedy at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado.  We want to begin by acknowledging those who lost loved ones, and the many people who continue to live life in these communities.  Today we stand with you and say that the lives lost matter, that those stories, and yours, are important, and that  community matters.  Thank you for the bravery you've displayed in picking up the pieces.  We can't imagine what you've been through.  We are sorry beyond words.  We pray some healing has come as the days have passed.  We know nothing can replace what was lost, but we hope and pray that life can be good again.  We stand with you in the moments you remember.

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Comments (6) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hi Guys.

It is enormously late.  2:21 am, according to the clock in this Iowa hotel room.  Chris (the amazing intern) is asleep, so i shall do my best to type quietly...

Wanted to apologize as i had been planning to write something for the one-year anniversary of the lives lost at Virginia Tech... didn't realize until about an hour ago that today was the day.  The last couple weeks have been hugely busy - feels like i've been living in airports and airplanes - lots of good stuff, but it's easy to get lost in the travel as well.  i can't remember the last time i turned on a television...  So i completely missed it and just wanted to take a moment to say it matters.

  It matters because people matter, and hundreds of people were affected by what happened a year ago.  Thousands more sat by our televisions, shocked by the news...  The ones who died were sons and daughters, best friends and brothers and neighbors.  They would be mothers and husbands.  They would be so many things. They were people with stories, and we would hope for them what we hope for ourselves, that we are early in these stories, that the best is yet to come. 

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Hey Guys.

Take a moment today and remember Martin Luther King. Learn from his life. He was dangerous in the best way. There are things worth fighting for and he fought well. Martin Luther King believed that freedom was justice, that change was possible and that hope was something true. Maybe hope is believing in something before it can be seen. My friend Byron says it begins by believing we’re not alone. Martin Luther King spoke to problems and solutions in a day when neither were popular discussion. His voice led a movement that changed the course of history, and his words are no less true today.

i’ve been in California for an event and some meetings this week, some exciting stuff that we’ll be sharing with you very soon...

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Hey Guys.

The Up in Arms tour with Switchfoot is off to a great start. There’s been some great nights and we’ve had the chance to meet a lot of great folks. i had a conversation in New Orleans with a fella named Jake - he told me how much Switchfoot and TWLOHA mean to him, and how SF’s song "Dare You to Move" basically saved his life. It’s a conversation i won’t forget. I’ve told people before, that if TWLOHA could be a song, we would be that song.

We are having such a great time getting to know the guys from Athlete. They are incredible and their songs are no less. London is home for them so we’re all loving their accents and talking lots about the UK. Been remembering our time there with The Rocket Summer, and getting excited for what’s to come.

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Hi Guys!!

It’s been too long. A new blog is long overdue. i always want them to be great, as writing is something that means a lot to me. There’s lots to update you on as we had a great trip to Australia and then another great week of events last week in southern California. Some of my favorite nights ever have happened over the last month. And while i was on the west coast, Byron was in D.C. connecting with our friends at Hopeline. We’re excited and grateful to be able to work with them.

i’m home in Florida for a few days. TWLOHA Spring Break is in full effect - this is week three and it’s been so cool to get to know the 20 new folks who are spending their spring break with us. There’s folks here from all over the country this week - San Francisco, Seattle, Boston, New York City... Two weeks from now we meet new friends from Germany and England. How awesome is that? The Switchfoot tour starts next Thursday in San Antonio, and that’s something we’re all excited about. Hope to see a lot of you guys on the road over the next five weeks.

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We're having a press conference with Hopeline today in Washington DC, and we're able to bring a live video feed to you guys at home!  Press conference is from 4-5pm eastern time.

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Renee celebrated two years of sobriety last Sunday, February 24th. We filmed this interview on January 23rd, at our bungalow in Cocoa, Florida.

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Hi Guys.

Hello from Australia. Got in yesterday. Exhausted, but excited to be here. I ran into an old friend at LAX, and we ended up sitting together on the 14-hour flight. So great when stuff like that happens. Yesterday i got my first peak at the Gold Coast and then headed back up to Brisbane for a Benefit Show, which turned out to be a truly great night. We're up early for Soundwave Fest in Brisbane at the moment. More on Australia in a sec. Let's get to some other exciting news that's long overdue…

STREET TEAM. We've heard from literally thousands of you, who have asked "How can I help?" Street Team is going to be a huge part of that answer. We've been working on it and you've been waiting for it - for quite a while now. Well, it's finally ready to go. We've partnered with a company called FanCorps. Their name may be funny but we believe they are the best in the business when it comes to this stuff.

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Hello Hello.

We talk a lot about honest conversations and community. We talk a lot about issues that most people don't talk much about. We believe that depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide are important issues because these are issues that affect people. We believe people are super important - a lot more important than t-shirts or hype... We believe that everyone has a story and that every story matters. We also think music is pretty great in it's ability to move people. Absolutepunk.net is a site that represents people and music. When they reached out to TWLOHA about doing a Live Chat, we were super excited.

i will be logging in to Absolutepunk.net tomorrow night, from 8-10pm EST, answering questions on behalf of TWLOHA. Questions about anything and everything...

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Hi Guys.

The UK tour ended two nights ago in London, my friend Bryce alone on a stage, pounding a keyboard and pushing simple strong words: "You tell me to live".

i wish you could have met Stuart in Glasgow and Lucy in Oxford and Chris in Southampton. Stuart was a long lost friend and Lucy was so alive and Chris was kind and strong beyond words. His story has stayed with me and i remember it now. There was the girl at the sandwich shop in Bridgend and there were so many more.

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Hi Guys.

i am writing from the fifth night of a wonderful adventure in a place called the United Kingdom. It is cold and wet here but the people have been kind and warm and so we're loving it. i am here with three American bands: The Rocket Summer, The Secret Handshake, and Between the Trees. Before The Rocket Summer plays, i get a few minutes to talk about TWLOHA - mostly i talk about pain and hope and community and all the things we're excited about and all the things we're learning. And then i introduce The Rocket Summer, which is a lot of fun because everyone screams. We had a show in Glasgow, Scotland tonight. It was one of my favorite nights ever. It is amazing to be far from home but to realize that we have so much in common with people here. They drive on the left and we drive on the right and they think we talk funny and we think they talk funny, but those are not the most important things.

We've been talking about pain and hope and community, and we're learning that we were right about the hunch we had. The problems that we talk about - depression and addiction and self-injury and suicide - they exist here as well. It's been an amazing privilege to stand on their stages and say that these issues are not American issues. These are people issues. We didn't know how they would respond, because these people didn't come to hear some guy talk, especially some guy who talks funny. But people have been listening and even cheering sometimes. We've been meeting the kindest folks and having the greatest conversations. Some of it is heavy, as life is really hard for a lot of people. i met a girl tonight who said she lost her best friend to suicide. i met a guy who said his friend cried during my talk. He gave me a hug in the hallway and he thanked me and i thanked him and it meant a lot. But even in the heavy stuff, there is something hopeful. It seems like there's hope in community.

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My friend Josh texted me this afternoon, before either of us had heard the news. Josh lives in Lower Manhattan and wrote to say that i missed an epic game of Scrabble last night in NYC. Coffee, laughter and impossible words had my friends up 'til 4 in the morning. Josh wrote to say that he wished i could have been there. His text made me smile, and i wished it too.

That text meant a lot to me, as i really love the folks who gathered for that game. And obviously, it was less about the Scrabble and more about the people. We need to laugh. We need to talk. We need to play.

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global - (adjective)
1. of or relating to the whole world; worldwide
2. of or relating to the entire earth as a planet
3. relating to or embracing the whole of something, or a group of things

humanity - (noun)
1. the human race; human beings collectively
2. the fact or condition of being human

hope - (noun)
1. a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen
2. a person or thing that may help or save someone
3. grounds for believing that something good may happen

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Comments (0) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hi Guys.

i was reading the last few pages of "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" as 2007 gave it's place to 2008. i only knew for the fireworks outside my window. i am quite possibly the world's slowest reader, and i tend to do dumb things such as leave books on airplanes... But i really enjoyed this book. i loved the honesty and the innocence of Charlie. These things matter and you feel them in this book, because they arrive in the face of pain and confusion. The book was so many things and i suppose it was an appropriate way to say goodbye to 2007.

2007 was the best year of my life.
i've never found so much. i've never grown so much.
And yet, it also feels true to say that 2007 was the hardest year of my life.
i've never lost so much, and i've never hurt so much.

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Hi Guys.

Meant to write something sooner.  Wanted to say more about Omaha as it was a really great night, but apparently we're not very good at cold weather, because Byron came home with bronchitis, and i've spent the last five days in bed with tonsilitis.  (Swallowing = not fun)  But i think we would both agree it was worth it as Sunday night in Omaha was one that truly meant the world to us.  To be handed a microphone in that setting was something i'll never forget, and even more significant were the conversations we got to have.  It was all an honor. Thanks again to (the band) Sick Puppies for inviting us, and thanks to everyone we met for making us feel so welcome.  Omaha is a special place.  We're excited to come back, but we should probably wait 'til it warms up a bit : )

So anyway, Byron has been, in his words, "coughing like a 90 year-old man" and i've watched 16 episodes of LOST in the last two days, but i think we're finally starting to feel a bit better.

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Hey Guys.

i got a call a couple hours ago from the manager of the band Sick Puppies. Sick Puppies are a band from Australia, and they were recently introduced to TWLOHA by Evanescence. Amy Lee from Evanescence and her husband Josh have been hugely supportive of TWLOHA - Josh has a counseling background and has become a great friend to our team and to me.

Anyway, Sick Puppies have been asked to headline a memorial/benefit concert in Omaha (this sunday) 12/16. The show is happening in response to the shootings at Westroads Mall in Omaha last Wednesday. The band said yes and this afternoon, they invited TWLOHA to be there with them. So it's looking like we're going to have a table at the show, and i will be speaking briefly before Sick Puppies take the stage that night.

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Hi Guys.

Exciting announcement...

To Write Love on Her Arms presents
Heavy and Light: An evening of songs, conversation and hope.

With acoustic performances by:
RONNIE WINTER (of the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus)
AARON GILLESPIE (of The Almost / Underoath)
ANTHONY RANERI (of Bayside)
[url=http://www.myspace.com/joshuamoore]JOSH MOORE[/url]

a conversation with J.T. WOODRUFF of Hawthorne Heights

Also, Renee and i will be speaking...

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Comments (0) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hi Guys.

Exciting announcement...

To Write Love on Her Arms presents
Heavy and Light: An evening of songs, conversation and hope.

With acoustic performances by:
RONNIE WINTER (of the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus)
AARON GILLESPIE (of The Almost / Underoath)
ANTHONY RANERI (of Bayside)
[url=http://www.myspace.com/joshuamoore]JOSH MOORE[/url]

a conversation with J.T. WOODRUFF of Hawthorne Heights

Also, Renee and i will be speaking...

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Comments (0) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hi Guys.

First of all, i want to say thank you for your incredible response this week. It has been beautiful to see. This has been a difficult week for a lot of people. We've been in touch with the guys from Hawthorne Heights all week, and we have a lot of friends who are hurting right now.

This is an important moment for us. i think i knew that as soon as i heard the news, that it was important for us to respond well, to try to lead in this moment. We have been embraced (beyond words) by Casey Calvert, by his band, and by this unique community, and now this is a moment where we need to do our best to return the favor, to try to be something strong in this moment, and to continue doing the work that Casey believed in.

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hi guys.

it's late but it's not as late as it feels. it feels really late. i took the red eye home from seattle last night. they call it the red eye because you fly through the night and you don't get enough sleep and you wake up with red eyes. sidenote: seattle is amazing and you should go there as soon as possible.

just wanted to wish everyone a happy thanksgiving. i picked up chris the amazing intern this morning on the way home from the airport. he spent the day with my family and it was a really great day, great to have him there and great to see a bunch of family. ran into some old friends at the beach before we ate. it's funny how the years just fall away. do you know what i mean? i hope you feel some of that this weekend.

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Hey Guys.

Couple things we want to share with you, with Saturday in mind:

First is [url=http://www.afsp.org/]www.AFSP.org[/url] (American Foundation for Suicide Prevention)
Lots of great info there, including some conferences happening around the country on Saturday. They're also broadcasting online with a live chat to follow, so that everyone who wants to can be involved. [url=http://www.afsp.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=home.viewPage&page_ID=FEE7D778-CF08-CB44-DA1285B6BBCF366E]Here's a great link specific to Saturday[/url].

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Hi Guys.

i am in Florida at the coffee shop and they're playing Cold War Kids and it's good. i think everyone should have a coffee shop. A place that's yours, you know? Not for the coffee but just to have a place where you know people and they know you. i have a theory that people go to coffee shops to feel less alone. Even if you don't talk to anyone, i think somehow you feel less alone. i think that's why i come here. That and they play good music.

The wind is blowing just outside the window, as it has been for the last week. It's strange but it's good. It seems that Tropical Storm Noel fell asleep on top of us. Or maybe she just hasn't finished saying whatever she came to say...

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California,

We are sorry. We're so sorry. For what you've lost and what you're losing and for the fear. We mourn the smoke that filled your sky today. We mourn the flames that took your homes. We can't imagine. We're mad, though we don't even know who to be mad at.

You are brave and beautiful and strong. You are important. Please keep fighting and breathing, and please know that you are in our thoughts and hopes and prayers tonight. In this moment, in a thing as small as a blog, we say we're with you... from across a country, from across a planet, we say we're one tonight.

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Hi Guys.

Just got home from NYC. Thursday was an unforgettable busy day. Here's a few highlights:

1. i was a guest on Steven's Untitled Rock Show on FUSE. Our friends from Bayside were on the show as well. It meant a lot to get to be there with those guys, and we're honored to be part of their Fall tour. Oh and don't worry, you didn't miss any of it. The show airs this Monday (10/22) at 4pm EST, 1pm PST, and the Bayside tour begins Thursday in Baltimore. i'll be speaking briefly before their set in NYC, Orlando, Ft. Lauderdale, Dallas, Anaheim, LA, Portland and Seattle. (Michael will be at all dates with info & shirts. Check Bayside's MySpace or the twloha.com calendar for all dates.)

2. We had a meeting to discuss a program that will allow us to launch street team in a major way. So many of you have signed up to join the street team, we know that so many of you want to help, and it's time we give you the tools. Coming soon, we promise.

3. Had a couple meetings with record label folks to discuss a TWLOHA compilation CD. This has been a dream of ours since the beginning, to invite our music-making friends to help us create a record full of songs that capture what we're trying to be about. Basically (with this), we want to create something with great songs, and we want to create something full of hope.

FAQ.
We've updated the FAQ section of twloha.com this week, and we want to share those questions and answers with you. We get a lot of questions from you guys, and we know people ask you guys questions too. Our hope is that this helps provide a lot of answers. We're still working on it, as there's a few more questions we want to address, and there's some answers we'll be adding to as well.

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Hi Guys.

Forgive me! This has taken much too long! It's been a pretty amazing month, but before we dive into all that, i want to acknowledge yesterday and today.

Today is September 11, the six-year anniversary of the day that our world changed, a day we felt fragile like never before. Our thoughts and prayers go out to those who lost loved ones on that day. We heard so much about "a country under attack" in those first moments, but for thousands of people, on that day and every day since, this was something much deeper. People lost fathers and friends. Sisters. Sons. Mothers. Dreams. This was their heart, their home, their family. Today we say we're sorry. We can't imagine what you've known. We stand with you. We cry with you. We remember.

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Comments (0) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hi Guys.

This update is long overdue and for that I apologize. Lots going on! We are updating the [url=http://twloha.com/find_help.php]FIND HELP[/url] and FACTS sections of [url=http://twloha.com]TWLOHA.COM[/url] this week, and we have a meeting tomorrow to discuss all-things-counseling, which includes the LIVE HELP that I mentioned in the last update. LIVE HELP will be a way for people to communicate with counselors in a real-time, anonymous setting. We want to be the greatest possible first step to recovery, and we believe this is going to be an amazing element.

[url=http://WWW.WARPEDTOUR.COM/]WARPED TOUR[/url]
I had two conversations in Dallas, back-to-back, in the same hour. It was a month ago but these conversations have stayed with me. I met a girl who battles both bipolar disorder and cancer. In the face of all of this, she spoke the kindest words, and she asked what she could do to help - she wanted to volunteer. She ended up spending most of the day with us - the Anberlin guys came by to meet her - it was something I'll never forget.

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Comments (0) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hi Guys.

Our first video blog. Made this afternoon in a Las Vegas hotel room, on a day off from Warped Tour, just before a dip in the pool...

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Comments (0) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hi Guys.

Our first video blog. Made this afternoon in a Las Vegas hotel room, on a day off from Warped Tour, just before a dip in the pool...

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Comments (0) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

So today is the day we celebrate our dads. Today is the day we say "Happy Father's Day".

My dad is a hero of mine. He is one of my best friends. He is a dreamer, a surfer, a music-lover, a writer, a thinker. He showed me all of those. More importantly, he gave my sisters and I the great gift of growing up in a home filled with love and laughter (and lots of songs). We grew up in a home where we knew that we were loved, and we knew that our mother was loved, and I am certain now that there is no greater gift.

That's a bit of my story - an easy reason to celebrate. But I am writing this because I know that not everyone has been so fortunate. I know that today is not an easy day for everyone. 

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Comments (0) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hi Guys.

This update is long overdue and for that, I apologize. We'll call this Part 1, since there's a lot more to follow. You ready? Okay, here we go...

Last month, thanks to your support, TWLOHA donated $28,500 to the treatment and recovery of young people struggling with depression, drug addiction, self-injury and suicide. The money was split between several organizations, all of which we're committed to supporting each month for the rest of 2007. 

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Comments (0) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hey Guys.

Just wanted to say hello and let everyone know that our friends in Paramore released a really amazing new record yesterday. It's called "Riot!" and it's in my ears as I'm typing this. A giant storm just came thru, and I'm listening to the song "We Are Broken" and everytime it ends, I find myself going back and starting it again. I was going to send this out as a bulletin but this song is too good and too important. So now it's a blog : ) If you have a buck, go buy this song. If you have ten, go buy the record.

I am a big fan of good words, and honest music. Here's the lyrics to "We Are Broken":

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Comments (16) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hi Guys.

We got a lot done at our meetings in Grand Rapids last week.  We're about to give away the first big chunk of $100K money, and we are really excited about it.  In Grand Rapids, we worked through the details of what we're able to give, and where it will go.  We're supporting and partnering with a diverse group of organizations, meeting needs as close as Central Florida and as far away as India and Australia.  Lauren is on vacation this week, and I want to wait for her before saying more.  We will have a bunch of info for you next week.

I want to thank you because you guys are the ones that make all of this possible.  You guys are the ones that started this fire.  Your support is what allows us to do what we do, and your support is about to come to life as thousands of dollars in support for young people in need of treatment and recovery. 

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Comments (3) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hi Guys.

I want to begin by saying that our hearts and prayers continue to be with the Virginia Tech community. I can't imagine what you see and feel and know, what you remember, what is missing now. Please know that your beautiful response is inspiring to the entire world.

Life is difficult beyond explanation. We live in a world where so much is possible. Great beauty and terrible pain, sickness and health, grace and terror. Tomorrow is always uncertain. Love, in all it's different forms, seems to be the one true thing. May you know it now and always.

***********************************************************************

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Comments (0) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hi Guys.
My dear friend Kasey in NYC shared this with me a couple days ago. He lost a friend to suicide and these are his words. Thank you for reading.
jamie


My Friend Brian.
by Kasey Taylor

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Comments (1) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

My friend Byron says that life is hard for most people, most of the time. He is a very smart guy.

I suppose that hope suggests a need, and it suggests that something has not yet ended. To have hope is to believe for change, to believe for a better ending. I have been thinking a lot about hope because I have reminded lately that I am a person in need of hope.

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Comments (0) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Jamie here. This is just the intro...
People often ask if I'm surprised by everything that's happened with TWLOHA over the last year; the way it's spread, the doors that have opened, the friends we've made. And of course, in many ways, I am. But another truth is that surprising doors have been opening in my life for a while now, beyond my ability to explain. Some of the guys that inspire me the most, I have known the privilege of their friendship. My life has long been loaded with reminders, and examples, of what is possible.

I have known some dangerous dreamers, and at the top of this list is a guy named Jon Foreman. Jon lives in and loves a place called San Diego, and he plays in a band that behaves like a family, a band called Switchfoot. Jon is a man of enormous vision, talent, passion, kindness, and humility. He is a thinker, a lover, a fighter, and a phenomenal leader who has been singing about his aches and dreams and desire for change, for the last ten years.

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Comments (0) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hi Guys.

"I'm wearing this tonight."

I remember my friend Jon saying those words.  It was a year ago this Friday.  We had just opened the first box of TWLOHA shirts.  We were in south Florida for a Switchfoot show.  Florida Atlantic University.  Sold out show.  2500 people.  Band Marino opening, on about eight hours notice. 

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Comments (5) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hello from Arizona.

First off, thank you for the amazing response to that last blog. Your kind words mean so much. Thank you for embracing those stories.

The tour is going great. The days have been going by so fast, too fast. We're out of the cold and into the warmer west now, enjoying each new day, all the many new faces and places.

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Comments (0) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hello from Detroit, where it is 36 degrees, feels like 22, and it's raining. : )

We will add some photos and resources later tonight, but I want to share this now, a great moment from one of the recent shows, and another that someone just shared with us.

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Comments (0) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hi Guys.

We are on the road and have become fast friends with the guys from Bayside. They are an amazing band from New York City, and their story is something important.

On October 31, 2005, Bayside's van crashed while on tour, and their drummer, John "Beatz" Holohan, was killed. Many wondered if the band would go on, if they could continue to to tour and make records in the face of such tragedy. Bayside surprised a ton of people when they returned to finish the tour only two weeks later, playing acoustic each night. They turned down interview requests from various mainstream media outlets, refusing to capitalize on the death of their friend. On February 6, Bayside released "The Walking Wounded", their best work to date.

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Comments (0) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hello from Boston.

We woke to snow on the ground but the sun was somehow warmer today. Stopped for round two of showers, which we're learning to value like gold on this tour. David and Lauren seem to have friends in every city we go to. Our day began with a family and a fireplace.

Thank you for the many kind comments regarding our "birthday". I tried to post this last night but couldn't get online. Yesterday we celebreated Renee's one-year mark for sobriety. We are so proud of her as we know that every day has been a battle. We know that recovery is a life-long journey but we want to take this moment to congratulate her on this significant day. 

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Comments (0) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hello from D.C.

Donald Miller is my favorite author. He is both a hero and a friend to me. Don said one of my favorite things when he said "I'm better with my hands". He was talking about words, that he is better behind a computer screen vs. standing on a stage. Well, I would say the same and last night was one of those nights. I didn't get to say the things I had hoped to, so I'm going to try to say them here.

There was a different sort of weight to yesterday for me… In telling the TWLOHA story, I usually say that it began last February, a year ago this week actually. But in some ways, for me, it began last January, when my friend Zeke took his life. I was sitting in a meeting at Hurley in California when I found out. (Zeke was a Hurley rep in Virginia Beach) Hurley Founder & CEO Bob Hurley interrupted our meetings to make the difficult announcement. We were given a 30-minute break, which most of us spent crying in the parking lot. After the break, the meetings resumed but in some ways, I never went back. Zeke's death changed a lot of things for me.

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Comments (0) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hello from Norfolk, VA. I tried to write after the show last night, around 3am, but I just couldn't keep my eyes open. David and Lauren have friends in Norfolk so we're all feeling better after some sleep, a hot shower and some good local food. (I am a fan of crab cakes and free wireless internet, so this is a good place to be.)

We had a wonderful night last night, opening night in Charlotte. All the bands were super kind and played great sets. This really is an amazing lineup – four talented bands. It was super good to reconnect with Anberlin, and we became fast friends with the Jonezetta guys. Dia stopped by and said hello before their (Meg & Dia's) set. She spent a couple minutes with Lauren and Trisha and checked out the story before taking the stage. It was really cool to get to see Meg & Dia after hearing so much about them recently.

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Comments (0) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hi Guys

Just wanted to say a quick hello from the road. We picked up our RV and our dear friend Jake yesterday, and we're headed north now. Jake flew all the way from Portland and today begins his long drive home. Trisha, Lauren and David are asleep, I'm online, and Jake is at the wheel, heading towards Atlanta. We're going to sleep for a couple hours, pick up shirts in the morning, and then tomorrow is opening night in Charlotte : )

We are so excited. As we mentioned before, we're going to do our best to bring you along for this ride. We will be posting photos and video as often as possible, and I'm planning to write every day. We're going to be working on all that tomorrow and will let you know as soon as there's more to say...

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Comments (0) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hi Guys.

It's late and I have to wake up in a couple hours to fly to Raleigh, but this can't wait.

Anberlin has invited us to join them on their nationwide Spring Tour. Anberlin's amazing new album "Cities" comes out on February 20, and the tour begins the next night in Charlotte. These shows are going to be so good as, along with Anberlin, it's Bayside, Meg & Dia, and Jonezetta.

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Comments (0) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hi Guys

A few days have passed since our return from India. Thank you so much for your kind words and prayers while we were away. I've been waking up earlier since we've been home, this last bit of jetlag a welcome reminder of a land and people I wish never to forget. I'm trying to stay on this schedule as it feels like some small connection to India. I've wanted to write sooner but could not find the words. It is hard to describe the things we saw and the ways we were changed by our time in Kolkata. In short, we didn't want to leave.

Bono says that laughter is the evidence of freedom and it is true. We have said ourselves that rescue is possible, and those words took on a different degree of meaning in India. Words like "freedom" and "rescue" only matter because they rise against words like "evil" and "slavery". We can only imagine what those children have seen, what they have lost and how it haunts them. Our time with them was something sweeter, something hopeful, singing and dancing and drawing, the building back of innocence. 

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Comments (0) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

It's like 3 in the morning right now, jet lag is officially mauling my life. It just doesn't seem right to not be woken up at 5 in the morning by an indian man belting a Muslim prayer/song over a city wide PA system. (A speaker being conveniently located right outside our window) There are many many memories to look back on and laugh about from my trip to India. From the 5am prayer calls to the insanity that is public transportation; enough to spend a lifetime telling about. But then there's something else. Something that feels different inside me. Other things that will also stay with me for my lifetime, but can't be put into a story to share at parties.

There is more there to tell of than I could possibly share here, but let me begin to stumble through. India is the most contradictory place on earth. It is both beauty and destruction. Spirituality and corruption. I have been away from it for a few days now and it's as if i have been made into a different shape, and the struggle now is to fill that shape. Not knowing or understanding what exact shape that is or how to fill it. The easy way being to just cram any worthwhile sorta thing into those places instead of feeling through the process of filling it out.

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Comments (0) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hi Guys

I am writing from a room full of travellers and computers in Kolkata (Calcutta, India)... I will write a more-detailed version later but I wanted to send something...

India is wild, poor, sad, broken, beautiful. Beyond words. 

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Comments (0) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hey guys,

Last week we were honored to be able to spend some good time with a girl named Janette.  She flew out for a bit of a vacation/life retreat at my husband David and my house.  Like so many of you, we have been able to form a relationship with her during one of the most trying times of her life.  Through our time together Janette has gone from some extremely dark places to choosing to take steps towards healing one day at a time.  This is a long process and there is so much to be learned along the way, but just like so many that have gone before her and so many that will come after her she is choosing to walk the road to healing.  

I don't say any of this to brag on one person, even though I am so proud of the choices Janette has been making.  Rather I say all these things not for Janette but for those reading this who are right now in similar dark places.  I say all this in hopes that those reading this will see Janette and realize they are not alone in their struggle.  That if there is hope for her than there is hope for them.

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Comments (8) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hi Guys.

We leave for India in one hour!

I am sitting at Gate 10 in Terminal 1 at JFK in New York, borrowing the good man Clint's shiny PowerBook. Trisha and Emily are here. For me, it's a few close friends and a lot of new faces.

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Comments (0) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Something happens at midnight. Or something is supposed to, right?

I think the big idea is change. The thing we want to believe is that things can change, things can be new, that at midnight it might be possible to leave some things behind. Start over. Hope. New.

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Comments (0) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hi Guys.
 
I begin on a sad note.  Many of you responded to my sister Emily's bulletin a couple weeks ago.  She was writing to ask for your prayers for Sean Hargreaves, an 18 year-old high school senior from our hometown of Melbourne, Florida.  Sean has battled leukemia for the last two years and his fight has been met with so much support from our community.  It is with a heavy heart that I write to say that Sean's battle with leukemia ended this week.
 
I am thankful that Sean is free today, that the pain is gone.  Our prayers now are for his family and friends as they begin this difficult new life without him.  It is estimated that Sean's family is now facing $1 million in medical and travel expenses.  It feels small in the face of that debt, but TWLOHA is proud to donate $500.  I was touched by this article today: [url]http://floridatoday.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20061221/NEWS01/612210345/-1/archives[/url]

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Comments (0) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hi Guys.
 
Raw Talent is our partner for the online store. We know that many of you have been waiting weeks for orders placed online.  We want you to know that we're working with Raw Talent to do everything possible to get your orders shipped as soon as possible.  And we want to say that we're sorry.
 
Every great thing that's happened and is happening with TWLOHA, from Renee's needs being met to us being in a position to hire staff, to the situations we're pouring into now; all of these things have been made possible by your orders.  We know that your time, and your money is valuable, and no one should have to wait weeks for their order. 

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Comments (0) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hi Guys

Happy Thanksgiving from Memphis, Tennessee.  I hope this finds you full and smiling.  I am on a borrowed computer in a house full of family.  A great-grandmother's voice is alive in the living room as I type.  It's a beautiful sound (her voice, not my typing).  A tiny little girl named Lilly is trying to sleep on a cot closeby, so I'll have to keep this brief.

I just wanted to say thank you...

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Comments (0) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hi Guys

First off, I want to thank you for the way you've responded to the death of Brittany Maxwell.  Thank you for your prayers and kind words.  We have heard from many of her friends and are hoping to connect with her family very soon.

We leave Tuesday night for Nashville.  Stop the Bleeding begins Wednesday at Rocketown.  I've always wanted to go to Nashville so I'm really looking forward to it. You may have noticed a new friend in our top spot.  Stop the Bleeding has it's own MySpace (a music page!), so [url]http://www.myspace.com/stopthebleedingtour[/url] will serve as home base for this tour, future shows, booking, etc.  Also, you'll be able to listen to songs (and a poem) from some of the bands we're taking on the road.  I've posted an intro blog there, along with our first press release - hope you'll check it out.

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Comments (0) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hey Guys.

I am sitting here reading through the responses to last night's bulletin... Thank you so much for all the kind words.  (There's something crazy like 13 pages of them!)  Honestly, I wasn't sure how that bulletin would be received.  i was sitting there on my friend Nathan's computer, making us late to the Mute Math show, and i just felt like i needed to write that...

Anyway, thanks for receiving it.  Seems I'm not alone in wrestling with things like yesterday.  Thanks for letting me be honest, and thank you for your honesty.  I keep saying this, keep learning and believing this more and more; the idea that we're in it together.  We're not alone.  We're surviving together.  Asking hard questions and learning to love people, we're a giant conversation, and I am so thankful for that. 

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Comments (4) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hi Guys.
 
I'm in Michigan, heading back to Florida in a few hours.  It's late and there's so many great things happening.  I don't know where to begin… The world is feeling small, and that's a great feeling.  It means that much is possible.
 
[b]"Stop the Bleeding"[/b]
We had a great night at "Stop the Bleeding" in Peoria, IL last Saturday.  Folks came from all over Illinois, and as far away as Missourri and Wisconsin.  There were two great bands, paintings and poets, and several speakers, myself included.  We had an extended Q&A time, which included two counselors.  Thanks so much to Chris Schaffner and all the artists, counselors and volunteers who made it happen.  See you in July.

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Comments (3) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Hi Guys.

I'm writing from a basement in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Trisha is at School of Rock with Hayley and Paramore, across a river from that Manhattan skyline. Jake is back home in Portland, a couple days break from Bradley's Happy Fun Tour. Renee is settling into her new apartment and I'm guessing the thought of that has you smiling right now.

Where are you tonight? How is life? What is new? 

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Comments (3) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

I don't want to sound like the blog version of "Everybody Hurts" by R.E.M., but man, life's a bitch sometimes.

Today is the six-year anniversary of my brother's death.

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Comments (1) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood

Today is a really cool day. As of today, Renee has been sober for six months! I want to invite you to post comments for her (on [url2=http://www.myspace.com/towriteloveonherarms]our myspace[/url2]). Your kind words and support continue to mean the world to her.

And for all of you who are somewhere along a similar journey, those comments are for you as well. This love is yours, and you are not alone. We are all in this together, shouting back at the darkness, a little louder each day.

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Comments (6) | Posted in General by Chris Youngblood