On October 1st, we started accepting applications for our first ever high school campaign The Storytellers. Below is Part One of a blog from our coordinating team for The Storytellers. Chloe shares a bit about her own high school experience and why she is so excited to co-lead the program.  Check back next Wednesday to hear from Katie.

--

My first day of high school was in August of 2001. I feel old just saying that, even though I’m only 24. Despite the fact that it has been a decade since I started high school and six years since I graduated, I can still remember what it felt like to be a high school student struggling with anxiety and depression. I remember how even with my close group of friends and loving family, I didn’t feel I could share with them what I was going through. I didn’t understand why I felt anxious and sad when, for the most part, my life was good. I had great grades, played sports, spent the majority of my free time with friends and family. I had a car, two jobs, and a boyfriend.

And yet I was uncomfortable in my own skin.

I was scared. Unsure. Frustrated. Confused.

I also didn’t know this was something a lot of other people were going through. For some people, high school is a place where they feel alive, flourish, and achieve. For others, it’s a struggle, a land of bullies and loneliness.

TWLOHA has answered thousands of messages from high school students over the years. There have been sad stories and happy stories. Our hearts have both ached and rejoiced. Your words motivated our team to create a program specifically for high school students. The Storytellers is important because it actively engages high school students to share their story, talk about the things often kept in secret, bring the TWLOHA message to their campus, and most importantly, live life with other people. I feel lucky to be a part of making those things a reality.

—Chloe

--

We believe in the power of high school students. You all have a voice that can change your communities. We hope you will join us for the first term of The Storytellers or pass this along to someone you know that might be interested (in case you’re not in high school anymore).

The idea is simple: invite people who are passionate about TWLOHA, who have a unique platform every day of the school year, to tell our story.  You, the high school students, get to use your creativity to decide how to tell the story, and we give you the resources to raise awareness and funds for an organization that matters to you.

Applications can be submitted here until January 15, 2012. The first term will begin on February 1, 2012 and conclude on May 15, 2012. You can find more specific information here. For any questions, please read our FAQ section, and if you don’t see an answer to your question there, please email thestorytellers@twloha.com.

With Love,
Chloe and Katie

P.S. We’re proud to announce the first 75 high schools accepted into The Storytellers. Two countries and 29 states, as far as Alaska, are represented in the list below.

Welcome, Storytellers. : )

North Mac High School
Mauston High School
Topsail High School
Gulf High School
The Visual and Performing Arts Center High School & Early College
Minarets High School
Western Reserve Academy
Bradford Area High School
Canyon Ridge High School
Eau Gallie High School
Buchholz High School
Regina High School
Hulett High School
Franklin Community High School
Alamogordo High School
Bluefield High School
Licking Heights High School
Soddy Daisy High School
Pueblo Central High School
George Washington High School
Hemet High School
Putnam County High School
Alvirne High School
West Islip High School
Andover High School
East Hall High School
Wrangell High School
Richmond High School
Coopersville High School
Dysart High School
Colorado High School
Lincoln Park Performing Arts Charter School
Marengo Community High School
Bergen County Academies
Morgan County High School
Decorah High School
Portal High School
Positive Outcomes Charter School
St. Elizabeth High School
Keith Country Day School
Mountain Vista High School
Greater Hartford Academy of the Arts
Kennett High School
River Hill High School
Perrysburgh High School
John Paul II Catholic High School
Felicity-Franklin High School
Hermitage High School
Charter School of Wilmington
Bloomfield High School
Milton High School
Mountain View High School
East Rutherford High School
Blue Valley Northwest High School
Cole Valley Christian High School
Oakville High School
Pinckney Community High School
Scranton High School
AlWood High School
Celebration High School
Sherman High School
South Sumter High School
Oklahoma Christian School
North Davidson High School
Western Branch High School
Methacon High School
Udall High School
Billerica Memorial High School
Serrano High School
Lewis and Clark High School
école Secondaire Cochrane High School
Mackenzie Mountain School
Central Collegiate
Delta Secondary School
Burnaby North Secondary School

Comments (18) | Posted in General, Journal by Chloe Grabanski

---

Wade Belak, 35, died by suicide on August 31.

Rick Rypien, 27, died by suicide on August 15.

Derek Boogaard, 29, died from an accidental overdose due to alcohol and prescription painkillers on May 13.

Tom Cavanagh, 29, died by suicide on January 6.

The men listed above have a few things in common. They were all young professional hockey players in the National Hockey League (NHL) and struggled with depression.  And I am a fan of the game they played.

I grew up in the Midwest in the small town called East Grand Forks, MN, which borders Grand Forks, ND, an hour south of Canada. The way Texas feels about football is the way Minnesota feels about hockey. I remember the first time I went to a hockey game. One of my earliest memories is how I was supposed to watch and cheer for the University of North Dakota Fighting Sioux, the school I graduated from this past May. Watching hockey at UND’s Ralph Engelstad Arena is unlike anything else. It’s a massive, elegant building that can seat over 11,000 people. Entering the arena on a hockey night means being lost in a sea of green, white, and black where everyone is smiling and excited to watch what is bound to be an incredible show of athleticism, talent, and heart. The audience is transformed from simply being spectators to a community, a part of something bigger than themselves. If a fan can feel such connectedness by simply watching, what is preventing players from feeling safe enough to share their struggles with mental illness?

If you’ve never watched hockey, it’s an incredibly physical and sometimes violent sport. That’s often the draw for people. But what attracts me to hockey is that it’s a sport of fierce loyalty, for the fans and the players. Players have to trust their teammates to be there for a pass and to protect them when they’re skating along the boards. Night after night, players take painful hits for their teammates, often to protect the person holding the puck, knowing one wrong hit can end a career. So in a sport where game after game players show each other such loyalty and trust, it is devastating that off the ice they don’t feel they can do the same, that they feel so alone and don’t know how or if they can find help.

When news of Belak’s suicide broke, National Post writer Aaron Sands tried to answer the impossible: “How could a young man who was so widely loved, a man who was living an apparently charmed life with a beautiful young family decide to kill himself whilst alone in a Toronto hotel room? How could nobody have seen it coming?” Articles written about Rypien, Boogaard, and Cavanagh all echoed similar sentiments. All asked why. All wanted to know what we could do, what players could do, what the NHL could do.

Sands said, “the cost of coming out in the open about his mental illness would have been too high a price to pay,” suggesting the stigma associated with mental illness is what prevents players from coming forward about their struggles. Sadly, he is most likely right. Hockey players are looked at as prime examples of what it means to be physically tough and mentally intimidating. They are taught, coached, and instructed from the time they first pick up a hockey stick to never show weakness—on and off the ice. Being a hockey player in the NHL is about more than what happens inside a rink. They protect an image, and because of the stigma associated with mental health issues, sharing their struggles significantly alters how others see them.

And this stigma isn’t just for them. It’s for soldiers, doctors, teachers, celebrities. It exists for you. And for me.

As I sit with that, and think of its implications, I lose my words. We live in a world where we are readily exposed to sex, drugs, and violence. We talk about those things at great length because they’re on the news, in movies and songs. But we shy away at talking about mental illness and what it means. Why? Why do we let such a stigma continue to exist? One of the main goals we have at TWLOHA is to push back against this stigma. We want people to talk about these things freely, to be unafraid to stand up and say, “I’m struggling and I need help.” No one should ever have to live in a place where they feel they will lose more than they would gain by acknowledging a part of themselves, no matter how dark that part may be.

In an article from Star Tribune former NHL player Peter Worrell, who also struggled with addiction, said, “Part of the locker room mentality is we can fight through everything. We kind of get down on guys if they show any weakness. I hope with these tragedies this summer that as players and union members, we look out for each other a little bit more."

Worrell’s sentiments are not limited to NHL players. We can look out for each other, too. You and I can, right now. For our family. For our friends. For our own selves and the stories we’re living. And maybe that’s how we start to help, by being fans who set an example. Let’s join the NHL in trying to erase mental health stigmas. We can love each other. We can talk about these things. I know it’s not easy and it can be scary, but by giving these issues a name and a face, one by one, we’ll change this.

If you ever get a chance, be sure to watch my favorite sport. I hope you can feel what I feel every time I watch a game.  And I hope you’ll think of Belak, Rypien, Boogaard, and Cavanagh. And when you think of them, I hope you’re moved to share your story.

With Love,
Chloe

Comments (10) | Posted in General by Chloe Grabanski

---

In September of last year I received a link to a video in an email sent around to the TWLOHA staff. It showed a young man taking back his life, combating his depression and obesity, and finding happiness through running. The video fascinated me, and I watched it over and over. The story, simple and honest, captivated me. I had to understand more about where this young man had come from. I did what any curious young adult would do. I Googled him.

The young man in the video is Ben Davis. In 2009, he was twenty-three years old, 360 pounds, and depressed. His extra weight had dragged him down into a dark place, and he was having a hard time finding his way out. It was a conversation with his grandmother that sparked the inspiration he needed to change his life. She simply asked him if he was happy. After a basic assessment of his life, he realized that he could certainly be happier. So, in an attempt to get a grip on his life, he started a blog and started running. 

His journey started out slowly. He began training for 5k’s, hiking mountains, swimming, and going to boot camps at the gym. He changed his eating habits, began interacting with friends more, and wrote about his experiences. His confidence grew. His outlook on life changed. With the support of his brother Jed and his father John, Ben’s life began to turn down a different path. They ran races, marathons, and even completed an ironman triathlon together. Ben began to see that he wasn’t alone in his journey. He had a strong community surrounding him and encouraging him. His life was changing, and he was finding a true happiness that had been so elusive for so long.

Today, Ben is a huge inspiration to thousands of people around the world.  He's started a movement called "Do Life" and just wrapped up a thirty-one city 5k tour before heading to Northern California to complete the Vineman Ironman Triathlon (his second ironman in two years!). His search for happiness has led him on a whirlwind journey that is constantly showing him new and exciting things that he is capable of, things he could only have dreamed of two years ago.

This past January, I began to run.

For the few months leading up to this new life decision, I felt stuck. My motivation, inspiration, and over all oomph for life seemed to disappear, and I was absolutely stuck.

I had never run before, and it was a completely new challenge. Every day, I would dedicate an hour to getting outside, running around my neighborhood and then collapsing into a heap on my tiled living room floor. For days and weeks and months, this went on. I had signed up for a 5k, bought running apparel, and pulled out my five-year-old running shoes that had been worn about three times total. Every day, I pushed farther and farther. I refused to give up.

How far can I run?
How far can I run without stopping?
How fast can I run a mile?

I dedicated myself to improving my health and lifestyle. With each new day and new personal record, I began to see myself become unstuck. I felt energized, confident, and most of all, happy. Soon, I completed two 5k’s and signed up for kickboxing and CrossFit, too.

In June, Ben and I got the opportunity to meet when his Do Life 5k Tour came through Orlando. We talked and shared our stories with one another. He asked me about TWLOHA, and I wanted to learn more about him as well. While our stories are different and we come from two very different places, one thing that struck me was how we shared a passion for people. We both want to use our stories to help others find a way out of their dark places and serve as a source of hope. Our conversation illustrated for me how caring for myself was the first step in caring for someone else, but that I don't have to find happiness on my own. I am not alone. By sharing my life and joy with others I can, likewise, help someone see the happiness they are seeking in their own life. And the chain doesn't stop there. We can lean on one another, share life and experiences, and help spark change each other's lives.

 
Since the tour, Ben and I have talked about how he can serve as a resource for UChapters, sharing his message of hope and finding a reason to smile, finding happiness and sharing it with others.  The more Ben learned about TWLOHA and what we do, the more he loved it and wanted to get involved. To show his support, for the entire month of August Do Life will donate 15% of all merchandise sales to TWLOHA. You can find his store here: http://dolifemovement.com/products. We couldn't be more excited for this new friendship to grow.

I appreciate Ben so much, not only for his kind donation, but also for being an inspiration to so many people, myself included. His perseverance, dedication, and honesty have given hope thousands of people around the world—hope for a better tomorrow, hope for redemption and healing, hope for a fresh, healthy perspective on life. I encourage you today to share life with someone, do something that inspires you, and seek happiness in the things that bring you joy. Live your story. It is so important.

With Hope,
Holly

Comments (9) | Posted in General by Chloe Grabanski

---

From Nashville to Los Angeles, TWLOHA founder Jamie Tworkowski, photographer Jeremy Cowart and a group of friends invited folks to share their fears and dreams. Jamie and Jeremy were joined by Caitlin Crosby, Laura Bell Bundy, Andy Davis and Alek Parker. Video by Cale Glendening. Music by Noah Gundersen and The Last Royals.

Comments (79) | Posted in General by Chloe Grabanski

---

What's your biggest fear? What's your greatest dream? www.fearsvsdreams.com

Comments (49) | Posted in General by Chloe Grabanski

---

One of the most frequently asked questions we hear is, “What can I do to help?” We have supporters all over the world who write to us asking how they can make a difference. There are so many ways to get involved with TWLOHA, and right now we have a way you can help right where you are. It takes about 30 seconds, and all you need is a Facebook account.

The way to vote is simple:


1.) Go to the Vivint Gives Back Project.
2.) Login with your Facebook account. If this is your first time voting you must allow the Vivint Application access.
3.) "Like" the Vivint Facebook page. You will only have to do this once.
4.) Click "Vote" to vote for TWLOHA.

Right now Vivint is giving away $1.25 million dollars to 100 different nonprofit organizations.The top prize, $250,000, will be awarded to the most-voted nonprofit. You may be thinking, “Oh great. Another contest.” However, we ask you to consider what winning this contest could mean for TWLOHA.

The money from this contest would be used in a variety of ways, but our first focus will be expanding our efforts in treatment and recovery by:

-Going on site visits to treatment and counseling centers to meet with the administration, clinicians, licensed mental health counselors and social workers. This gives us first-hand knowledge of the services and resources provided at each facility and helps us understand the needs as well. This way, we are able to accurately distribute scholarship funds and help those in need of treatment.
- Our hope is to build an interactive platform that will allow people to invest directly into treatment and recovery in their local community.
- Continue to support organizations such as the  American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, National Alliance on Mental Illness, Self Injury Foundation, In The Rooms and more. These and other organizations are actively fighting this fight with us. They are researching, raising awareness, supporting others and tapping into markets we may not have the manpower to tackle. We are in this together and want to continue to support them.

In addition, we believe in the work we’re already doing through our various programs. Winning this contest would allow us to take MOVE Community Conferences to new cities stateside and abroad, expand our UChapters Program and visit campuses already actively bringing the message of hope and help to their schools, be able to visit new communities through speaking events, tours and awareness campaigns, and launch our first-ever high school campaign!

Currently, we are not in 1st place. We are down by quite a few votes but we know with the amount of people supporting us on Twitter, Facebook and our online sites, we can quickly change that. You can help TWLOHA be the winning organization. You can help us win $250,000. You can help us make a difference.

You can vote once per day through August 27th. This means we need your help and commitment. Thirty seconds every day this summer from each of you is all it takes to win.

Please take the time to vote each day, and ask your friends and family to vote too. The only way we can do this is if we do it together. Thank you very much for your support.

Let’s go win $250,000!

Comments (17) | Posted in General by Chloe Grabanski

---

You know those things in your life that sit in the pit of your stomach and stay buried in the back of your mind? Those things you carry with you always and are afraid to share with others? That’s what this is.

I’ve tried to write this countless times over the past three years. I’ve sat down at a desk with pen and paper, had my computer open in my lap, and drafted sentences in my head. There is never an easy way to write about the hard stuff, but as June 20, 2011 looms ahead of me, I’ve decided to try again with what has been the hardest step.

“I am a Survivor.”

I’ve never liked saying that. Acknowledging it. Admitting it. In saying those four words I have to own the fact that what happened, actually happened. But as the three-year-mark of my sexual assault fast approaches, I think I’m finally ready to believe that I am a survivor. There were days and moments that I never thought those words would be true. Times when I wanted to give up and say, “I can’t do this.” In those moments, I really did feel that way.

In the weeks after my assault I wasn’t living. I was alive, breathing and making some sort of attempt at coping with it. But often it was not in the healthiest of ways. I didn’t know how to deal with who I was. I’ve always been independent and strong-willed (some would say hard-headed) but before my assault I was also pretty happy. I had struggled with anxiety and depression in high school and my first year of college but overall I felt like I was living in a good place. I had just finished another semester of college, was working a great job and spending my free time with family and friends. Then in one night I was no longer me. I became what someone else made me. I was made a victim because of a choice someone else decided to make. And coping with that wasn’t something I knew how to do.

So I did what I could. I woke up each day. I walked my dog. I read. I breathed.

I’ve never been a big fan of labels but have happily worn “daughter,” “student,” “friend,” “girlfriend,” etc. in my life. “Victim” and “survivor” were certainly two I never wanted to add to that list. Unfortunately, in life we don’t always have control over the things that happen to us. I have always been the kind of person who owns my decisions and faces their consequences (good or bad). The fact that having my choice taken away from me was completely outside of my control is something I’ve struggled with by myself, in counseling, and in sharing with others.

Two months after my assault I got a phone call. It was an invitation to come to Florida. I had applied for the TWLOHA internship in January and was being invited to join their second intern group. Given everything I had going on I probably should have stayed home. But I knew in my heart that I got that call for a reason and I was meant to go. The first few months in Florida reminded me of the person I had been before the attack. I was able to actually share what happened to me, and acknowledge the fear I felt in doing so.

As you are reading this, know that many of my friends and family will be finding out for the first time. Part of what took me so long to share this was the fear of how they would see me. Will they think I’m fragile? Broken? Damaged goods? Unfortunately that is a possibility, but most likely they will still see me as me and love me unconditionally. I learned I had to stop treating myself like a glass shell if I didn’t want other people to either. On a regular basis I debate sharing my assault with the new people who come into my life. When is it appropriate to let a new friend in on a painful part of your past? How many dates do I wait to tell the guy sitting across from me what happened? Right away? After six months? In two years?

I haven’t figured the answers out to those questions, but I have been truly amazed at the kindness of strangers and new friends I’ve opened up to. They don’t see me as damaged goods. They don’t see me as broken. They see a girl who is trying to make peace with a horrible thing she had no control over. And while June 20 is something that I wish with everything in me had never happened, I work each day to make peace with the past. I try to find comfort in knowing each new day brings me further from it.

To say that walking through my assault was a battle is an understatement. But I have been able to with the help of family, close friends and my counselor. If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted please know that help is out there and that it does get better. This is not your fault. Those words don’t change what happened, but they are true. In the aftermath, the outcome seemed pretty bleak, but as I slowly allowed myself to fall back into a routine and talk to a counselor things got better. I started to be comfortable again in things that had never bothered me previously. I stopped being afraid to walk alone outside at night. I could sleep in a house alone. My panic attacks subsided. It didn’t happen over night, but it did happen. If this is something that has happened to you please, please talk to someone. Don’t hide this. Don’t live in the pain.  We have resources on our find help section, or you can visit RAINN.

There are days where it feels like it happened yesterday, and days where it feels like it was three years ago. But then there is today, and it feels like a quote from one of my favorite books:

“And so with the sunshine and the great bursts of leaves growing on the trees – just as things grow in fast movies – I had that familiar conviction that life was beginning over again with the summer."

-F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

With Love,
Chloe

Comments (63) | Posted in General, Journal by Chloe Grabanski

---

Denny Kolsch is a TWLOHA staff member with a powerful story of healing and recovery.

Comments (33) | Posted in General, Journal by Chloe Grabanski

---

For more info or to apply click here. Deadline to apply for the Fall term is June 30.

Comments (1) | Posted in General by Chloe Grabanski

---

Today is Yom Ha-Shoah, Holocaust Remembrance Day. A day steeped in the deepest of contrasts where we seek to honor the lives and souls of six million people, but doing so in whispers so to keep their lives sacred.

Back in college, I participated every year in a reading of the names. This reading would go on for twenty-four hours as candles burned, and we would recite names and ages of those who have left us.

Yacov Gottlieb, age 32

Channa Gottlieb, age 27

Abram Gottlieb, age 4

"Baby" Gottlieb

Names of an entire family, existing now in hushed and choked utterances.

There's an irony there...almost an innate refusal to acknowledge such tragedies, but to let this event escape our collective memory is to tread on some very dangerous ground. For many survivors of the Holocaust, it is literally unimaginable to try to remember those years, and yet they are driven to. I was honored to have spent a few hours with a survivor a couple years ago. He spoke of being sustained by dreams of something better. He said he was fed by scraps, yet nourished by hope.  This was a man who had to erase the word "never" from his vocabulary. He said that word exists at the root of all pain. The second we believe that a tragedy could never happen is the same moment where we drop our guard. Conversely, if we believe that joy will never return, we squelch that divine spark that resides in us all that represents the fight.  Nietzsche once said (popularly quoted by Viktor Frankl) "he who has a 'why' can bear almost any 'how.'" That is to say, we are capable of enduring just about anything if we can identify a reason, a dream, a person, or ideal to fight for.

Only a generation or two separates us from one of the worst seasons in human history, where countless individuals were trapped in a literal and daily fight for their lives. But if you had a chance to talk to a survivor, they would tell you that the fight is far from over. Atrocities against human dignity are happening today. Uganda, Rwanda, and Darfur, the sex trade (both domestic and abroad), addiction, AIDS, human rights, and mental health. These are all issues that demand our attention. These efforts must extend past simple awareness campaigns, and words must be coupled with action.

Perhaps one of the greatest lessons to be learned from one of our darkest chapters is that your life matters. The entire cannon of our existence can boil down to the fact that the thoughts in your head and the dreams that you swear could be real make you sacred. The foundational crime of the Holocaust was that people, human beings, were forced to accept the lie that they were somehow less than human. Today is a rally cry for the human spirit. Today is a starting point, where we can vow to not let discomfort stand in the way of affirming one another. A day where we can celebrate that this world is a different and better place for the simple fact that you call it home, and where we dance to the unheard rhythm of your heartbeat.  Take time today to find ways to validate this in one another. Tip a janitor, pay for a stranger's coffee, open the door for a complete stranger, leave a friendly message on a phone, or in a book, or in the pollen of an unwashed car. There is so much more that connects us than could ever separate us.

In the constant memory of the six million, I stand for those who have ever felt less than "worth it." You are priceless, and I hope that you feel that today.

ברוך דין האמת
Chad  

Comments (15) | Posted in General, Journal by Chloe Grabanski

---

Today is our interns' last official day in the TWLOHA office. This day always seems to be the hardest for our team because we have to say our goodbyes to six people we’ve worked alongside and relied on for the past four months. But the hardest thing about it is that we are not just saying goodbye to interns, we are saying goodbye to six members of our family.

We are so incredibly grateful for every project they’ve helped with, every event they’ve worked, and every message they’ve compassionately responded to. At the end of the term we look back and get to see the total number of lives that our interns have encouraged, inspired and cared for. Over the past four months, there were 1,983 messages that our interns shared the message of love and hope, and the most powerful thing is that there were 1,983 people behind each of these messages. Some of these messages were of heartache, pain and struggle, but many were of recovery, healing and strength. It's always a mix. 

As the hours count down, we are just so thankful for the moments of honesty, encouragement and beauty our interns brought into our office every single day. It’s not an easy thing to work and live with six strangers, but our interns have done it with grace. There were hard times with moments of conflict, but there were also moments of laughter, excitement, and the best of humanity on display for us to see.

On behalf of the TWLOHA staff, I want to thank Kelsey, Alyssa, Brendan, Kevin, Amanda and Joe for everything they’ve done while in Cocoa and for being apart of our TWLOHA family. We are so grateful to be a part of your story and we can’t wait for the next chapter. 

With Love,
Lindsay Kolsch
Intern Program Director

Comments (7) | Posted in General, Journal by Chloe Grabanski

---

Over the last year and a half I have watched our organization participate in some very exciting things; from winning $100,000 from Chase Community Giving to a full-page ad in USA TODAY to being named “Must-Follow Non-Profit” by Mashable.

All these things have raised awareness, spread hope, encouraged others, and spread the message of TWLOHA in new ways. And none of them could have happened had it not been for the dedication and care demonstrated by our supporters.  You guys have helped TWLOHA reach new audiences, raise awareness, and bring the message of hope and help to new areas of the world, now reaching so many more people than we ever could have imagined. Our supporters, Street Team, and UChapter members have proven time and again their commitment to reaching out to others and starting conversations, offering hope and the promise of redemption, and loving others well.

Our University Chapters have played an integral part in this movement, and today we want to celebrate them. We currently have 49 active, official TWLOHA University Chapters. Our chapters span two countries, 24 states, and hundreds of people. Chapters members work tirelessly to bring the message of TWLOHA to their campuses, inspiring hope, encouraging help, and reminding people that they are not alone. Building community is a huge focus of our chapters, and they have shown us again and again how sharing our lives, knowing others, and being intentional can influence the world around us in positive ways.

As you may have already seen, to thank our chapters for their endless support, we have created exclusive and personalized UChapters Title Logo shirts. You may have seen pictures of them floating around the UChapters Tumblr. Debuting these shirts has raised a lot of questions so we’d like to answer some of those now.

Q: Why were these shirts created?
These UChapters Program shirts were created to thank our chapters for the work they do for us. They are also intended to help unify our chapters at their events and build community within the chapter.

Q: How can I get one?
The only way to get one of these custom shirts is to join an already active TWLOHA UChapter or start a chapter on your campus. If you are not sure if your school has a chapter on campus, you can see a list of our active chapters here.

Q: How do I start a University Chapter on my campus?
If you are interested in starting a chapter on your campus, please email chapters@twloha.com for more information about how to get started. The first step is to attend a MOVE Community Conference where you will gain the necessary knowledge of the issues and tools needed to lead a chapter on your campus.  To find out more about MOVE, including dates and locations of upcoming conferences, please visit our website.

Q: Will these shirts be available online?
No, these shirts were created specifically for UChapters members. They will not be made available in our online store.

Thank you, each of you, for your continued support and care for TWLOHA. Our hearts are filled with gratitude and the excitement of what's to come. You are valued and loved in so many ways.

With Hope,
Holly

Comments (2) | Posted in General, Merch by Chloe Grabanski

---

"RENEE" the Movie from www.RENEEthemovie.com on Vimeo.

Comments (27) | Posted in General by Chloe Grabanski

---

Chloe reflects on her time in Europe.

I’ve always heard that an international trip requires months and months of planning. There are cell phone plans to be changed, key foreign words to learn, and travel adapters to be bought. From what I understand, usually everything is very calculated and mapped out, but if there is anything I’ve learned during my two and half years with TWLOHA, it’s that things don’t always happen the “usual way.” What was supposed to be a five-day vacation in Europe to visit my friend turned into a really incredible opportunity for us as an organization. We were invited to join Crown Jewel Defense on tour in Europe where they would be opening for Young Guns and All Time Low. We were asked to come along on their first ever tour because they believe in what we are doing, and want to help spread the message of TWLOHA. 

After several emails and phone calls, my plane ticket was changed and I had to be ready to fly to London in twenty-two very short hours. The tour would start in Brussels in Belgium, then continue on to Amsterdam in the Netherlands, Hamburg and Berlin in Germany and end in Vienna, Austria. I had never been to Europe and I couldn’t believe I’d have the opportunity to experience so many different cities on my first trip there. But, as exciting as that was, it wasn’t why I wanted to go. A lot of people think going on tour means you get to “see” a lot of the places you are. But it’s actually quite the opposite. For the most part, you see the venue and the city within a two-block radius before you head to the next show the following day. So while I knew it would be neat I would be able to say I had been to each of those cities, my reason for going was much greater and had to do with people. I decided to go because of you guys. 

Every day we receive emails and messages from people asking us to come to their town. And despite not being able to go everywhere we want to, our hearts are still in the small towns of Nebraska and the Russian tundra. So my purpose for going was the opportunity to meet our European supporters face-to-face. I couldn’t wait to put faces to the comments, messages and tweets from people in these far-away cities who frequently ask us to bring TWLOHA across the Atlantic. I wanted to hear their stories, hearts, answer questions and open up a dialogue. Given the short notice I was worried people wouldn’t be able to join us for informal meet and greets in each city. But I should have known better. Within minutes there was an abundance of emails from people asking for details and how long we’d be there. 

I didn’t know how similar, and yet different Europe would be from the United States. I was shocked that nearly everyone I encountered spoke English in addition to the standard language of spoken in their country. I felt understood, and could communicate with people, which is important when you’re in an unfamiliar place. One of the first supporters I met asked me, “Do people look different here?” And the answer is no. The biggest difference I noticed and felt was how relaxed everyone seemed. 

Europeans seem to embrace the calm. You can sit in a café for hours and never be interrupted by the server. Time doesn’t seem to be of great importance. I was never rushed, or hurried by anyone. As someone who is glued to my BlackBerry, not having a phone was a foreign experience for me.  When I went to my first coffee shop I was confused and at first frustrated why the waiter didn’t practically demand my order a few moments after sitting down, or bring me the check after my first few sips of coffee. In recent years I’ve noticed America seems to be more worried about quantity instead of quality. I didn’t find that to be true in Europe.

During each meet and greet I was able to fully engage in conversation with each of the supporters that joined me because they weren’t in a rush either. Everyone around me was focused on the present, and living in the moment, instead of worrying about what they had to do in the next few hours, days and weeks. A very basic concept I didn’t realize I myself had gotten so far away from prior to this trip. And to be honest, something I’ve practically abandoned all together. Something I wasn’t aware I was missing. 

The entire trip was such an amazing experience because of the people I was fortunate enough to meet. I sat with four girls at a café in Amsterdam and we laughed about the simple things in life. I had a heavy conversation with two girls in Hamburg, one of which had lost their father to suicide four years ago. In Berlin six of us sat in a café hiding from the cold and talked about ways to bring awareness to mental health issues in Europe. Being established with offices internationally is something we dream of doing, and something we aspire to have one day. Something I hope to be a part of because now that I’ve met so many of our international supporters and I’ve seen the places those messages come from it is not something I can easily let go of or forget about. 

Europe, you are wonderful. I miss your beautiful cities, amazing coffee, the new friends we made and everyone I was fortunate enough to meet. I hope all of our international supporters know how much you mean to us, and that we hope we see more of you very, very soon.

With love,
Chloe

Comments (15) | Posted in General, Journal, Music by Chloe Grabanski

---

We would like to extend a special invitation to you to join us at our upcoming MOVE Community Conferences this spring!

MOVE conferences are designed for people looking to engage others in conversations about the topics TWLOHA addresses: depression, addiction, self-injury, suicide, and the role a trusted community plays in bringing hope to those who feel broken. We believe that these issues are not spoken about as often as they need to be, largely due to their stigmatized and taboo nature in society. This conference stems from the idea that uniting our resources helps take people from places of pain to places of hope and healing. MOVE is for someone new to these topics entirely or someone who has worked in a mental health setting for years. This two-day, in-depth, engaging workshop is led by professional counselors, where we explore what is behind these struggles, what drives them, what recovery looks like, and how we can make a difference where we live.

Our team was able to bring MOVE to seven US cities in 2010, and we’re excited to begin our conference series with three huge conferences in Austin, Los Angeles, and New York City at a greatly reduced cost.  

First up is our MOVE conference in Austin, Texas. MOVE Austin will be held on Friday, March 11th and Saturday, March 12th, from 9 - 5 at The University of Texas at Austin (hosted by the UT Austin UChapter).  

We believe you will find our conference engaging, educational, and essential for beginning and continuing life-changing conversations about mental health in your community. If you would like to join us, email move@twloha.com for an application today. Additional dates and information can be found on our website.

Hope to see you soon!

With Hope,
Kaitlyn
Director of MOVE Community Conferences

Comments (6) | Posted in General by Chloe Grabanski

---

Dustin Kensrue of Thrice talks about his connection to TWLOHA and performs "Blanket of Ghosts." TWLOHA founder Jamie Tworkowski speaks, along with counselor Aaron Moore & Denny Kolsch.




P.S. Read a blog about the night from our intern Brendan here.

Comments (5) | Posted in General, Music by Chloe Grabanski

---

Over the course of the last year, I have had the privilege of watching the TWLOHA University Chapters program grow and develop into a community of students from all over North America who care for and love others. This community is extraordinary. Through organized meetings and events, each chapter serves as a voice of hope, inspiration, and support for students and their surrounding communities. Their dedication to raising awareness, investing in others, and living honest lives has been a daily affirmation of the work that I do in Cocoa, FL.

That's why this past fall it was so exciting to watch our program experience the most growth it has seen since its inception. We added 17 new chapters to the database and received just as many applications to begin the registration process. The desire to spread hope and help to others through the UChapter program is spreading through America, into Canada, and perhaps across the world.

We would like to take a moment to recognize and welcome the newest chapters to join our team since our last update in October. If any of these chapters are near you or at your school, we encourage you to email them and find out how to get involved.

Arizona State University (twloha.asu@gmail.com)
Cornell University (twloha.cornell@gmail.com)
Pittsburg State University (twlohapittstate@gmail.com)
Portland State University (twlohaportlandstate@gmail.com)
Oral Roberts University (twloha.oru@gmail.com)

All other chapter contact information can be found on our website.

Many of our chapters have already started planning for their spring events and there are some really neat things in the works. From benefit concerts to art exhibits, discussion forums to prevention and awareness walks, these events and activities reach out to their campuses and invite students into important conversations about these  previously ignored topics. The young leaders in our chapters have taken great pride in creating places on campus where students feel safe, valued, and cared about through these events. We are excited to be able to continue sharing their accomplishments and goals with you.

I hope that through their excitement you will find inspiration and a yearning to be a part of this community. To learn more about TWLOHA University Chapters and how you can get involved or start one on your campus, please visit www.twloha.com/move/uchapters or email chapters@twloha.com. We hope to hear from you soon.

With Hope,
Holly

P.S. You can also keep up with our chapters by following the TWLOHA UChapters blog on Tumblr

Comments (7) | Posted in General, Journal by Chloe Grabanski

---

Chloe reflects on Bamboozle Roadshow

“I lost my cousin to suicide three days ago.” - West Palm Beach, FL

“My daughter cuts and I don’t know why.” - Arlington, TX

“I’m schizophrenic and have been suicidal for the past few years, but I have hope." - Houston, TX

“My best friend is going into treatment this week. She’s been going in and out of centers for the past four years. I just want to help her.” - San Antonio, TX

“I’m bipolar and I passed it on to both my children.” - Clarkston, MI

“All I want to do is stop. Everyone is scared but I don’t know what to do.” - Charlotte, NC

---

Thank you. I wish there was something deeper or more profound to say to those of you who visited the TWLOHA table and shared your story at The Bamboozle Roadshow this year. But nothing feels like it’s quite enough or conveys how truly grateful my heart is for having met all of you. The comments above are just a few of the many stories I was fortunate enough to hear during the six-week tour.

The main reason we go on the road so much is to meet people where they are – to hear their hearts, and to present them with the idea, sometimes new, sometimes not so new, that they don’t have to live their lives alone. One of the biggest honors for me (and I’m comfortable saying this for our team as well) is being someone that a complete stranger trusts enough to share their darkest moments with. It’s beautifully overwhelming to be a person someone feels safe talking to about their struggles after only a brief introduction of names. My hope is that in these exchanges they (and possibly you) feel a bit of freedom from pain, and a sense of understanding. I also hope that you are able to be on the receiving end of conversations like this, to be someone that someone else needs.

I left for this tour with a heavy heart and hoped that the road would make it light again. What I found out was something I already knew. It wasn’t the road that was making things easier, it was people; seeing old friends, making new ones, and meeting all of you. It was sharing TWLOHA and parts of myself with others. “Your story is important.” We say that a lot because it’s true. What you have to say, and what you’ve experienced deserves to be known by others.

I wish for you this summer, and all the days after, that you have someone to share your story with.

With Love,
Chloe

P.S. Thank you to Bamboozle for letting us join your traveling summer camp. Thank you to so many of the artists for being curious about what we do, for wanting to get involved, or for showing continued support. We’re grateful for our friends in Boys Like Girls, Forever The Sickest Kids, Third Eye Blind, LMFAO, The Ready Set, and Cady Groves who all rocked TWLOHA at some point during the tour. And a big thank you to my dear friend Martin of Boys Like Girls for wearing a TWLOHA shirt everyday of the tour and for all of your support.

Comments (18) | Posted in Journal, Merch, Music by Chloe Grabanski

---

This blog was written on June 4, 2010.

---

It is Thursday (but technically Friday) and I am sitting in Union Station in downtown Los Angeles waiting for the 1:25 am bus to take me to Bakersfield to catch a train heading north to see my parents.

I have only been here once before, and it was for a brief moment when I ran past everything without really noticing anything. This time I have an extra hour before I need to leave, so I take the time to observe my surroundings.

Union Station is a beautiful old building full of decorative tiles and leather chairs and wood trim on the ceiling. It’s a place I imagine Winston Churchill or FDR enjoying because it’s what I picture being "exquisite" during their lifetimes.

Union Station is also a building full of people who don’t have homes, places to go, or people to share their stories with. Many of the faces you pass look just as weathered as the walls. As I sit in one of the old-fashioned, brown leather chairs, I notice a security guard walking around, gently waking people up and asking, “Can I see your ticket?” The response from the person is typically one of confusion, or a rustle of pockets yielding no money or ticket, followed by silence as the sleepy person walks out into the early morning. They all give the ticket man the same look: pain.

I quietly ask the security guard, “How do you do this everyday?”

“Eventually you just get used to it. It’s always the same.”

The words roll around in my mind for long time. I try to wrap my head around each of them, to somehow make sense of their meaning.

“It’s always the same.”

Why? It doesn’t have to be. We are not meant to live our lives in such brokenness. Every one of these people has a story, and each just as important. Why do we feel as if their lives are so drastically different from the security guard’s? And from my life. Or maybe yours too.

My heart aches for lonely, broken people. But also for the security guard, who has to send them away everyday, into a place where shelter may not meet them. And for the people who have a roof, and a bed, but still feel alone – my heart aches for you, and sometimes for me, because at times it feels lonelier in a crowded room than it does in an empty home.

So if that’s you right now, please know it is possible to find a place where you feel alive. You are meant for that. You deserve to have a place to go and rest. It may not involve a roof, but it will involve people. And in the sharing of your story with others, you give them permission to do the same.

With Love,

Chloe

Comments (9) | Posted in General, Journal by Chloe Grabanski

---