To Write Love on Her Arms

Ben Does Life + TWLOHA

Aug. 16, 2011 at 8:04am

In September of last year I received a link to a video in an email sent around to the TWLOHA staff. It showed a young man taking back his life, combating his depression and obesity, and finding happiness through running. The video fascinated me, and I watched it over and over. The story, simple and honest, captivated me. I had to understand more about where this young man had come from. I did what any curious young adult would do. I Googled him.

The young man in the video is Ben Davis. In 2009, he was twenty-three years old, 360 pounds, and depressed. His extra weight had dragged him down into a dark place, and he was having a hard time finding his way out. It was a conversation with his grandmother that sparked the inspiration he needed to change his life. She simply asked him if he was happy. After a basic assessment of his life, he realized that he could certainly be happier. So, in an attempt to get a grip on his life, he started a blog and started running.

His journey started out slowly. He began training for 5k’s, hiking mountains, swimming, and going to boot camps at the gym. He changed his eating habits, began interacting with friends more, and wrote about his experiences. His confidence grew. His outlook on life changed. With the support of his brother Jed and his father John, Ben’s life began to turn down a different path. They ran races, marathons, and even completed an ironman triathlon together. Ben began to see that he wasn’t alone in his journey. He had a strong community surrounding him and encouraging him. His life was changing, and he was finding a true happiness that had been so elusive for so long.

Today, Ben is a huge inspiration to thousands of people around the world. He's started a movement called "Do Life" and just wrapped up a thirty-one city 5k tour before heading to Northern California to complete the Vineman Ironman Triathlon (his second ironman in two years!). His search for happiness has led him on a whirlwind journey that is constantly showing him new and exciting things that he is capable of, things he could only have dreamed of two years ago.

This past January, I began to run.

For the few months leading up to this new life decision, I felt stuck. My motivation, inspiration, and over all oomph for life seemed to disappear, and I was absolutely stuck.

I had never run before, and it was a completely new challenge. Every day, I would dedicate an hour to getting outside, running around my neighborhood and then collapsing into a heap on my tiled living room floor. For days and weeks and months, this went on. I had signed up for a 5k, bought running apparel, and pulled out my five-year-old running shoes that had been worn about three times total. Every day, I pushed farther and farther. I refused to give up.

How far can I run?
How far can I run without stopping?
How fast can I run a mile?

I dedicated myself to improving my health and lifestyle. With each new day and new personal record, I began to see myself become unstuck. I felt energized, confident, and most of all, happy. Soon, I completed two 5k’s and signed up for kickboxing and CrossFit, too.

In June, Ben and I got the opportunity to meet when his Do Life 5k Tour came through Orlando. We talked and shared our stories with one another. He asked me about TWLOHA, and I wanted to learn more about him as well. While our stories are different and we come from two very different places, one thing that struck me was how we shared a passion for people. We both want to use our stories to help others find a way out of their dark places and serve as a source of hope. Our conversation illustrated for me how caring for myself was the first step in caring for someone else, but that I don't have to find happiness on my own. I am not alone. By sharing my life and joy with others I can, likewise, help someone see the happiness they are seeking in their own life. And the chain doesn't stop there. We can lean on one another, share life and experiences, and help spark change each other's lives.

Since the tour, Ben and I have talked about how he can serve as a resource for UChapters, sharing his message of hope and finding a reason to smile, finding happiness and sharing it with others. The more Ben learned about TWLOHA and what we do, the more he loved it and wanted to get involved. To show his support, for the entire month of August Do Life will donate 15% of all merchandise sales to TWLOHA. You can find his store here: http://dolifemovement.com/products. We couldn't be more excited for this new friendship to grow.

I appreciate Ben so much, not only for his kind donation, but also for being an inspiration to so many people, myself included. His perseverance, dedication, and honesty have given hope thousands of people around the world—hope for a better tomorrow, hope for redemption and healing, hope for a fresh, healthy perspective on life. I encourage you today to share life with someone, do something that inspires you, and seek happiness in the things that bring you joy. Live your story. It is so important.

With Hope,
Holly

Posted in General by Chloe Grabanski

Comments (9)

With tears streaming down my face, I can not tell you how much I needed to hear this! I'm tired of being STUCK in this hole I've dug for myself and only let grow bigger. I am tired of fighting for all the wrong things. I am tired of waking up in the morning being afraid that I will have nothing to live for today. I am tired of believing in all the lies that this carbon copy of a life has produced. Quite frankly, I AM TIRED! The determination and willingness to change is exactly the motivation I've been searching for. Now that I see I am not alone in that struggle, the fear has turned to joy. Thank you for your words! Keep going! Don't look back! And never stop running towards happiness!

1 | Left by Anna | Aug. 16, 2011 at 11:19am

I am doing this same thing!! I've been battling depression and borderline personality disorder for years. I finally am turning to running and extensive therapy to get better and I am blogging to motivate myself. People have been super supportive. I wear my TWLOHA bracelets running to remind myself not to give up and that I am living a story. Totally working. I love it.

2 | Left by Janey | Aug. 16, 2011 at 3:17pm

I am inspired...I'm going to do this. I am going to change the world.

3 | Left by Rachel | Aug. 16, 2011 at 8:36pm

I love readin Ben's story and how he is changing others lives :)

4 | Left by Sophie @ threetimesf | Aug. 20, 2011 at 6:51am

I am a runner, and lately it has been bringing me down. I feel that it's kind of what is making me depressed. I used to feel inspired by it and I was super motivated to run and set new personal records. But then my dad started comparing me to my sister. She was a slacker and didn't try very hard, but she always ran really well in races. He told me that I had to try harder and that I could be better than my sister. But I what he doesn't know is that I do try really hard. I push myself to be better, but it doesn't get me anywhere and it's just frustrating. He's taken the enjoyment out of a hobby I used to love and has turned it into a stressful competition between me and my sister. She quit running last year, but he still compares me to her. Because I put too much focus on my running, my grades dropped and school became much more stressful. I had to miss a lot of school because the stress was making me sick. I had a stomach ulcer, I got really bad migraines, and I just made myself sick. I don't know what to do to release my stress anymore... I go on runs by myself sometimes just so I can think and try to clear my mind but they don't really help as much as they used to.

5 | Left by Jocelyn | Aug. 22, 2011 at 3:26pm

The 'Calm' Relaxation Method:

Make yourself comfortable laying down, preferably on the bed as it'll be easier to just go to sleep once relaxed.

I recommend laying flat on your back if comfortable enough, with your arms laying down at your sides.
Close your eyes and if possible, imagine yourself in a nice peaceful and relaxing place (a beach, field or even your own garden if that's easier).
The main thing to concentrate on here is your breathing.

You should take a slow and deep breath in through your nose and hold it for about 2 - 3 seconds.
You should now exhale through your mouth, in a slow and relaxed way. As you do exhale, you should whisper the word 'Calm', only very gently... As if it's a church bell ringing in the distance.

You will need to do this for a little while before you [should] start to feel the effect happening. Once you start feeling yourself get more and more relaxed, still keeping the same method and pace of breathing, you can stop actually saying the word 'calm'.
But as you exhale, you should still be hearing the 'calm' in your mind. It's now become just that distant, faint and soothing bell you can hear somewhere in the distance....

There really is no definition of how long this may take to work in your case, it differs greatly from person to person.
But I do know that generally it does work and work well for many. If you choose to do it on a regular(ish) basis, you should then find yourself being able to reach that calm state much quicker than when you first do it.

It also isn't just something to use only before going to bed, it is quite useful if you have some time spare and would like to reach that feeling again. However, you will feel very relaxed once you have finished it... So opening your eyes again and especially attempting to get up/move should be done slowly. You'll get what I mean when you reach that point and try to stand up afterwards :oP

Well, there we go.
It's not much in the way of writting, and indeed doesn't actually take too much effort to achieve.
I've never really been one for the overly disciplined methods of meditation and relaxation, so I chose to figure something else out from two or three different sources :)

xXx