You are incredibly brave and strong. I hope your writing this blog helps others who read it and have suffered in silence find the strength to seek help. No, you are not broken. You faced a terrible onslaught of hate and you are still standing firm. That, in my book,not only makes you a survivor-- it makes you a hero.

1 | Left by Daniel | Jun. 18, 2011 at 1:52pm

It is with all my heart and soul that I wish I could hug you and tell you that each day is nothing but one before the next. I have been like you for so very long and it takes a lot of strength to say the things you've said out loud. I love and admire you for your strength and bravery to continue onward and to never look back. Stay strong and thank you for lending your strength to others through this post. It means the world to so many, myself included :)

2 | Left by Cassandra | Jun. 18, 2011 at 2:26pm

i just read this on tumblr, your best friend posted it.
i wanted to say i love you, and that i have upmost respect for you. i wanted to thank you too. you are clearly an amazing person, and i know that is a phrase that is thrown around alot but i mean it, i really do.
thank you for being so strong, thank you for sharing this, and thank you for taking this awful thing and turning it around and helping people who are in need of you, for blessing people with youself.
twloha has been my favourite charity for over two years now, and this has confirmed my love for it, and the people who work for it.
i love you

3 | Left by grace | Jun. 18, 2011 at 2:35pm

I am amazed at you going on in spite of fear, in spite of what life has thrown at you. I was overwhelmed by how kind you were when i met you in amsterdam and i can never thank you enough for the kindest email i have ever gotten. You are an absolute inspiration, a beautiful person in and out, so very brave and i wish more people were like you. You give me hope and you made me cry, but in a good way. so proud.

4 | Left by Sanne | Jun. 18, 2011 at 3:42pm

There's a time for everything and purpose for when to share. You've blessed my heart today... Thank you for sharing and letting your story live on to bring strength and hope to another.

5 | Left by Daughter of Zion | Jun. 19, 2011 at 1:51am

Thank you so much for this. I have often too faced the difficulties of finding out when is the right time to tell someone that you are dating the things that happened in the past. Afraid that they will judge me for what has happened to me and the way I faced my pain. I once dated a guy for almost 3 year who told me that my sexual assault was my fault. Now I'm dating someone who understands it way better.

I thank God every day for the person who introduced me to TWLOHA. This is what helped me get through the toughest times of my life. And even though I'm only 19 I will tell anyone that TWLOHA saved my life. Without this I don't think I'd be here today.

Thank you so much for sharing your story. For giving hope to everyone out there and letting them realize that they are not alone. There are people who face challenges and struggle.

Thank you for giving me hope.

6 | Left by Nicole | Jun. 19, 2011 at 7:29pm

Wow. This text is not only incredibly well written in itself, but it is so moving. And Chloe, you are such an amazing inspiration. I can not even put into words the amount of respect I have for you. Be proud of who you are - because you are fantastic.

7 | Left by Anna | Jun. 20, 2011 at 8:13am

I just read your blog. I don't read that much blogs on the website, but I support TWLOHA by buying shirts. Your story touched me, I'm french so I don't always read long english texts because it's hard for me but your story captivated me. You are so strong, amazing. I don't know how I could deal with what you suffered, but I don't think I could be as strong as you. You are amazing, keep smiling, life is great... You're great.
Thanks for sharing your story with others, I'm sure it will help a lot of people to talk about their own story...

(And sorry for my bad english...!

8 | Left by Celine | Jun. 20, 2011 at 12:32pm

Chloe,
there are times when i think people who say 'oh yeah am over it' are so full of crap it makes me want to scream. it has been 13 years since my abuser was finally ushered out of my house and believe me when i tell you i am no where near sorting myself out... the honesty and depth of your triumph, the small details you felt were important like when to say what really rung true and your immediate strength, direct admittance to the challenges ahead and pure faith and trust in today and you, are truly inspiring. thank you TWLOHA once again, for posting something so authentic, it really truly has an impact. Chloe, you dont know me, but you've made the rest of my evening easier... thank you.

9 | Left by Kristy | Jun. 20, 2011 at 12:36pm

You sharing your story is encouraging. Thank you for being strong and telling us this. I struggled with telling my boyfriend, being afraid that he would either break up with me or treat me differently. Turns out, he has stayed right by my side and not once left me. He doesn't understand everything, but he never will. Nobody ever trully understands it till it has happend to you. I've spent so long feeling alone and scared, and the feeling never goes away. Hopefully one day I'll be ready enough to let go and heal. But for now, I'm just struggling to get through the day.

I'm not quite sure how to say this, but I really do appreciate you sharing your story. You have told it not knowing exactly how much it helps others... Thank you for being the strong and brave one. You are an inspiration to me and the rest of us all.

10 | Left by Marley | Jun. 20, 2011 at 12:43pm

you are a true inspiration

11 | Left by kelli | Jun. 20, 2011 at 12:50pm

If only blogging, TWLOHA, ok the internet, was around when I was assaulted at the young age of 14, maybe it wouldn't have taken over ten years before I reached out for help. Thank you for sharing your story and I'm sure somewhere someone is reading your words and realizing it isn't their fault, they are not damaged, and they will with time heal. It's been almost twenty years since my rape and I am just now having days that I don't think about what happened. I've learned that although I will never regain what I lost at 14, I am thankful for the strong, independent, advocate that I am today. Congratulations on your ability to take the next step towards healing, and for helping the unnamed who you will undeniably help through this posting.

12 | Left by Heather | Jun. 20, 2011 at 12:51pm

Thanks so much for your bravery in sharing your story. Over 30 years ago, as a college freshman, I was the victim of a "date rape".I never reported the assault, because the guy convinced me that no one would believe me. After all, our friends saw us go out together and having a good time - who would believe that I hadn't been a willing participant?

I never told my family, and it took 2 years to tell my closest friends. It was also my first sexual experience, and to say it left scars is an understatement. However, with time, and the help of a pastor friend, I was able to move from "victim" to "survivor" in my own mind. Eight years after the assault, I met the man who was to become my husband. When I shared with him my experience, he just held me, and told me how wonderful and strong he thought I was. We have now been married for 24 years, and in his eyes I have never been "damaged goods". So again, thanks for sharing your story.

13 | Left by Linda | Jun. 20, 2011 at 12:54pm

Thank you so much for your brave words. It has been 14 years and I still baulk at the words 'survivor', and 'victim'. It is still crushing and painful and heartbreaking and just so, so hard to be honest about what I have experienced, but the fact that you could write this, and share your story with others is hugely inspiring, and a great source of hope to me. You are wonderful. Thank you.

14 | Left by Ellen | Jun. 20, 2011 at 12:59pm

I am amazed by the strenght that comes through your story. You are a survivor indeed, a brave one at that! You inspire me not to be reduced by abuse. We do not have to remain broken. Healing, even when it takes a while, is real.

Thanks, God Bless & Lots of love!

15 | Left by Amy | Jun. 20, 2011 at 1:44pm

this happened to me too. im fifteen, happened when i was 13. i feel like she is taking my words from me, but in a good way. as if my thoughts weren't being shared by me, so they must be by someone else

16 | Left by Jenna | Jun. 20, 2011 at 1:54pm

Chloe,
You are an amazing person, I am still trying to get back parts of my life that my former manager took from me back in January. I am back into a routine and trying to get back some of what I lost. It feels kind of good knowing there is some kind of support structure out there for people who go through things like this that can rob us of who we are.

17 | Left by Lauren | Jun. 20, 2011 at 9:22pm

I've been there, and I wish I could give you a hug.

18 | Left by Kelly | Jun. 21, 2011 at 5:55am

Chloe,

This post touched me to the core. I was sexually abused by a family member as a child, and have only begun dealing with this in the past year. No one in my family knows, and I only recently confessed to a friend for the first time. I know it's not the same situation, but your strength and courage in sharing your story and speaking up about the difficulties of living in the aftermath bring me comfort in the hopes that someday I can share my story too.

Love from a stranger.

19 | Left by Anon | Jun. 21, 2011 at 6:18am

I almost started crying when I read this. I was abused and raped by my dad and started recovering memories and pieces of it last year. I'm 16. I've struggled with several ways of coping and the results haven't been good. I almost took my life a few times. My story isn't exactly the same as your's and I know that. Everybody has their own. But reading your's gives me hope that I might actually be able to one day get through this. Thanks for sharing your story and being strong. It has encouraged me to live another day.

20 | Left by Morgan | Jun. 21, 2011 at 8:51pm

I'm sorry to hear about the pain you had to go through, it must be very difficult to get over something as this. But I admire you for facing all the fears you had and overcome them gracefully with all the people behind you supporting you. If ever you date someone new, somehow he needs to know these things, what you went through, to understand you better. If he is a really genuine person, he will support you all the way to your recovery :)

I am very moved with this story, it helps bring the best in us in the worst situations. Thank you for sharing this.

21 | Left by Pinky Tan | Jun. 22, 2011 at 9:00pm

I hope you realize that a broad spectrum of people will be encouraged by your...courage. I have never experienced sexual assault, and I can't compare the things I've been through to it in any way. But the questions you have definitely apply: do I deserve to be called a survivor, when all I did was experience something I wish had never happened? When do I tell new people about what happened, and will they reject me or think I'm fragile? Can they look past my past and see me for who I am now?

Even if the people you share with can't understand what you've been through, you may be helping them to feel less alone in their own difficult experiences.

Thanks --

22 | Left by Meghan | Jun. 23, 2011 at 6:32am

Hi my nam is Emily and i thought that your story was amazin g and i think you should take it to a church called kensington they show a lot of storys like this and your story means somthing because God wanted you to end up like this 4 a reason! think about it the churches websight is
kensingtonchurch.org

love- Emily

23 | Left by Emily | Jun. 23, 2011 at 7:37am

As the saying for this organization says: Rescue is Possible. You are a very brave girl. :)

24 | Left by Gabby | Jun. 23, 2011 at 11:39am

Surviving each day is a trip on its own. Your brave and will work through this. Hope is all some people have. Living day to day is what most survivors do. I am one of them. Keep your chin up high and don't forget and trust people. Just don't forget.

25 | Left by Mae Anne | Jun. 23, 2011 at 12:27pm

You are so unbelievably inspiring, to me & obviously many others. I have friends & family who have gone through exactly the same case as you, & none of them speak of it. But you, you let the world know. You threw aside those barriers of what other people might think, & focused on what YOU think. So many people, myself included, are incapable of doing so. I applaud you for that. Youre in my prayers.
With love & respect♥

26 | Left by Josina | Jun. 23, 2011 at 12:34pm

Chloe...I have so much love and respect for you right now. You are a brave and beautiful person for writing this... I hardly have the words to express how much I appreciate this and the work that you and the other interns do for TWLOHA.
Thank you. Thank you so much. I love you.
-Lacey

27 | Left by Lacey | Jun. 23, 2011 at 2:02pm

This brought me to tears....you are soooo inspiring and its like you've taken the words right from my mouth. I cant stop re-reading this blog. You are giving those of us who are afraid to speak a voice..thank you for your bravery. Your words have helped me more then you know

28 | Left by Ish | Jun. 23, 2011 at 11:08pm

This story has touched me, really touched me bcuz I nav, I am struggling with depression self hate self harm suicide an satin disorder lonlieness wherebnobody understands me along with rape on my shoulders I was raped by my own grandfather when I was only four years old and I have to lib up to the expectation of being a perfect. Of being thatbperfect smart little girl that has nothing wrong with her. But in all honesty. There is a LOT wrong with me but nobodybis listening. Nobodybis hearing me scream atvthe top of my lungs HeLP. So this website and this story along with others has touched me because I want to make a difference in the world and I want to do something but infant because nobody believes in me and I feel alone. Allvi wanna do is over come this. ALL if this..nut I dot know how.......k dontbknow wherebto getvthe help........I am truly inspired bybother people..ibjust wantvto inspire somebody even if iybis justbone person

29 | Left by Katie | Jun. 25, 2011 at 5:19pm

I felt connected as I read this. Thank you.

30 | Left by Kristi | Jun. 26, 2011 at 7:12pm

I think I'm posting this to say thank you. I was raped six years ago and still struggle with the reality that I am a 'victim'. I've heard every storm cloud has a silver lining and I hope you know that despite what you have been through you're showing me it's ok to accept that it happened. You're giving me the understanding that even though this is a part of our past we have the control to shape our futures. I read this and literally held my breath the whole time. It's not fair what happened to us, but I'm glad (and extremely thankful) you had the courage to share this. THANK YOU!

31 | Left by Georgie | Jun. 27, 2011 at 12:12pm

You are truely an amazing person, it is so awesome that you have shared your story and hopefully it will help a lot of people.(:

32 | Left by Dara | Jun. 27, 2011 at 8:47pm

For me, it took over a year (of being free of self-injury) to admit to myself that I survived it. This realization has given me so much strength, and I believe that this post will give so many people the courage to realize this for themselves. You are a truly brave person and are a true inspiration.
Much love,
Xoxoemmamartine

33 | Left by emmamartine | Jun. 27, 2011 at 9:11pm

The strength required to not only survive your experience but to help a greater cause as part of a healing process is not only laudable but rare.

I hope to one day be as strong as you. Thank you.
Ryan I., SCU UChapter

34 | Left by Ryan | Jun. 28, 2011 at 6:38am

I know what it feels like to think you are broken and damaged. Iv actually been struggling alot with it these past few days. I am 15 I suffer from depression and serve anixty. On Sunday it will be the 2 year anniversary of when I began to cut myself. When my family finally found out I was made to feel like the black sheep they got me therapist and we havnt talked about the cutting sence. My boyfriend of a yr and a half broke up with me when he found out. He said "I can't handle that crap. I'm sorry." and he blocked me off fb blocked me from his phone and hasn't spoken to me sence. My mom won't let me buy anything with TWLOHA on it because then "people will know". I feel so alone sometimes. It's so hard not to cut but I'm trying. It's been almost 6 months now sence I last cut. But my strength is slipping away. I don't c how anyone could love me. I feel broken and damaged. But your story gives me hope in a few years my parents won't beable to keep me from sharing my story and I am holding on the promise that God has a soul mate for me. Thank u so so muc for sharing you are in my prayers God bless!

35 | Left by Lauren | Jun. 29, 2011 at 11:24am

OMG! Lauren, I am going through almost the same thing! I totally get you! please do not feel alone ive had depression for 2 1/2 years. My depression i can tell is much better than it was then. And in my sophomore year i had at at least 3 anxiety/panic attacks. I know your pain, and although ive never gone through the kind of pain she went through...I just wish TWLOHA made a separate program for teenagers, because there are SO MANY ISSUES teens have to deal with daily that adults just dont understand everything teenagers go through, there needs to be a specialized program JUST for adolescence like ME!

36 | Left by Lorena Terry | Jun. 29, 2011 at 8:50pm

Thanks for sharing, Chloe. When I decided to read this blog, I had no idea what to expect because as I kept reading I realized it is time for me to face it as well. It has been 11 months since my assault and it has been one of the hardest things for me to get through. My dad just found out 2 months ago and having to tell him was horrible. My sister was assaulted when I was a freshman in high school and it almost broke my family apart and I didn't want any more hurt to be brought to my family by letting them know that both of their little girls have lost innocence. I am so thankful for my families support, friends, and my counselor. It has been remarkable to see how God has brought beauty from the ashes in my life and shown me that even though the situation didn't glorify Him or anyone else, I can use it now to bring him glory by sharing with others and letting them know it is nothing they did, they didn't deserve it, and healing can happen.
I've been reading a book to help called Rid of My Disgrace by Justin Holcomb and Lindsey Holcomb. I recommend to it everyone, especially with the healing process. Thanks for sharing, Chloe.

37 | Left by Erin | Jul. 2, 2011 at 5:32pm

"You know those things in your life that sit in the pit of your stomach and stay buried in the back of your mind? Those things you carry with you always and are afraid to share with others? That’s what this is."

That is a very true beginning. I completely understand that statement, and I am so glad that you have been able to write your experience, to share it. I know it will help someone else who is seeking courage. I hold you in my prayers for continued strength, health and happiness.

38 | Left by Candice | Jul. 4, 2011 at 4:50pm

I know what it feels like to live life in fear and pain. When I was young I was betrayed by my friends who placed group attacks on me. This led up to high school. During all the pain i would feel from every friend i knew to betray and abandon me I would always go home to my mother who taught me to be my own person, she helped me achieve all the friends i have now. She was the one person i could tell everything to.

Throughout my senior year of high school cancer became my mother. I had to watch my mom erode away from the person i loved to this empty shell. After 1 whole year of battle, I watched my mother gasp for her last breath and die.

Before she passed was when i first became a cutter and drinker. I wasn't as serious with it until a year after she passed. My father would continue smoking and drinking and my brother would drink as well to cope with their emotions. MY home was a place i did not want to be. I failed all my college courses, wasn't doing hw. That bottle of whiskey and that razor blade, my zippo lighter and a stapler helped me get through the pain My final cut was from pure hatred over myself, i thought to myself i didn't deserve happiness i didn't deserve my families love, or my friends love. All i deserved was pain. So i slashed at my leg so deep i almost nicked an extreme artery.

I knew i needed help at that point , i became institutionalized and got what i needed. Now that im 3 months in sobriety i want to help the world know that they arnt alone to reach out to those that know pain that know depression. to show the world we all bleed red. This is my story

39 | Left by Patrick | Jul. 6, 2011 at 10:49am

I love this. I'm actually working on a project. It's to help make awareness for depression & anxiety. I've been through so much of what you've described. I thank you for sharing your story and good luck with everything!

40 | Left by Joana | Jul. 6, 2011 at 11:58am

I

41 | Left by ariel | Jul. 6, 2011 at 6:48pm

You are a brave and strong girl. Even though sometimes you have difficult days i'm happy that you got help. Some people would have never gone to florida and they would have continued what they were doing, but you decided that you wanted to get better and feel great again. And for that i respect you. God bless you.

42 | Left by Leah | Jul. 7, 2011 at 12:23pm

Thank you for being so bold and brave, Chloe. You don't know how much that helped me.
It was nice to hear your story of recovery. I hope that more of the TWLOHA team shares their stories too.
Sorry for my bad English as well.

43 | Left by Lora | Jul. 10, 2011 at 4:40pm

I can relate to so many aspects of this story. It's like you took the words out of my head & wrote almost exactly how I feel. At this point it isn't a subject that I can let myself be too open about but I hope in the months and years ahead I can use my story to help someone else. I think I read this everyday. It gives me hope & strength and reminds me that there are many other people who deal with things like this and not one of us should feel alone.

44 | Left by Anon | Jul. 10, 2011 at 7:25pm

Thank you. Some people don't understand how telling your story can help others, but those of us who are going through tough times or similair things understand fully the heartache and worries that occur almost everyday. I worry every second what others would think if they new me--the real me. You're story makes me want to do more. I'm not sure how.. I'm not one of those people who can talk about myself, but I want to do more then just let my friends know they can come to me if they need me. God knows you're a stong person and choose that strength to help many others. This is an amazing story and I wanted to thank you for sharing it. My throat was tight the whole time I was reading it. :) God Bless.

45 | Left by kawaiiss501 | Jul. 14, 2011 at 2:38pm

You are such an inspiration to me.

46 | Left by Ali | Jul. 14, 2011 at 10:05pm

Chloe--my boyfriend was sexually abused as a child. He too struggled (as he told me later) with knowing when it was right to tell his first girlfriend (me). He had been raised with all the sympathy from family leading him to believe that there was something scarred inside of him, that maybe something was wrong with him. It was about six months into our dating relationship and a year into our friendship for him to trust just enough and take the risk on the rest.

As someone who has been on the recieving end of a conversation like that, I will tell you that it is not easy for either party. But if the person you tell is one who loves you, Chloe, they won't treat you any differently. There may be questions and concerns that arise, allow the other person to be human and concerned, but they should not treat you as if you are broken, or in any way less. If they do, then they hardly deserve YOU! It is hard to hear that someone you love has been hurt in such a horrific way, but--for me--it lead only to admiration of my man's strength in pulling through, not as a "survivor" but as a person, as himself. I am sure there are many others who have been in my shoes who feel the same way about their loved ones. I hope this helps in some way. Wishing you well.

47 | Left by Cassandra | Jul. 16, 2011 at 7:30pm

What happened to you was a terrible thing & for you to be able to get over it makes you the strongest person i know. Your incredible & quite An inspiration to me. God works in mysterious ways & the colpret will get what he has coming god hates ugly so 2 times the carma. Your the queen of this website cuz you diserve it i look up to you. I had no idea & i've been going on the same exact bus as a sex affender. He lives by me & hes still on the loose. You inspire me so im no longer scared. I LOVE YOU CHLOE!(QUEEN OF TWLOHA!!!!)

48 | Left by Destini | Jul. 17, 2011 at 12:24pm

I can relate to you. But more importantly, thank you for sharing your story with the world.

49 | Left by Melissa | Jul. 17, 2011 at 3:44pm

I relate so much to this. Every year when thanksgiving comes up or November 25th comes up, I feel as though I'm about to break down. I'm 14 now, & it happened back when I was 8, but I still think about it all the time. You define what a real survivor is, not just someone who's lived it, someone who's accepted it & stopped letting it knock her down.(:

50 | Left by Nicole | Jul. 18, 2011 at 3:23am

I just want to thank you for writing this story. I never could understand what my sister went through but now I can understand more. This has moved me to tears and I wish I could just give everyone who has suffered a hug because the people that love all of you who were assaulted want to know so we can help you. You are a real survivor and I'm grateful you shared your story that is so similar to my sister's.

51 | Left by Natalie | Jul. 24, 2011 at 7:46am

thank you so much. This gives me hope that I can get through this, that there are others out there that have gone through the same thing.

52 | Left by Anon | Jul. 28, 2011 at 11:48pm

This amazing ... You are extremely brave to be able to deal with something like this. & I can relate ... just a little over a year ago pretty much the same thing happened me ... I was happy & after the attack I was never the same. Still not. I completely shut down & stopped talking to people & nobody could even try to understand.. I was constantly bullied & called a freak because of it. There's been times where I just wanted to give up on myself & my life & there's been times that I've tried to .. My parents thought I was turning "emo" & forced me into therapy & counciling. I also have anxiety & depression ... I'm still trying to get better, & just reading this and knowing your story gives me hope that i can make it out alive. Thank you so much..

53 | Left by Dana | Aug. 1, 2011 at 7:52pm

Hey, my intuition told me that I needed to respond to this. I read this about two weeks ago and ever since then, I cannot just sit here and not reply. You need to know that you are indeed loved more than you know by the least likely people. It is not until you get back on your own two feet that you recognize this change and realization of the supportive sub-world around you. You need to stay strong and I am so glad that you told someone; everyone's story deserves a voice. I have a story of my own, not quite the same, but still a story, and it took me years before I could get the courage to be open with my mom, dad, and even bestfriends and signifigant others over the years. I believe that we are all born with courage and a voice, but it builds over the years and finally, the silence is broken when we are ready for it to be. A wise friend once told me, this year as a matter of fact, that "You need to force yourself to speak up. No one can help you because you are all that you got. You need to say 'I refuse to live my life like this and I am going to be the change.'" You are the change. Never, EVER forget that. That quote and this organization absolutely saved my life. I promise you that is the truth. Nothing else helped. Not even my closest friends. Now, I am going to pursue a degree in counseling to help be a part of saving the world, one soul at a time. It sounds silly but I am 110% serious. Stay beautiful

54 | Left by Anon | Aug. 3, 2011 at 8:32am

Wow....you are incredibly brave and I felt I needed to let you know that you have inspired me to stop taking everything i have in life for granted. I have not had too hard of a life and have not had to deal with as much pain and fear as many people like you have had to deal with. I recently lost my dad who was very close to me and didn't realize how much i relied on him. I too felt a void in my life. I wasn't the same person for a while but gradually made it through. I know my circumstances were different but I still feel there is some connection to the pain and fear we felt. Thank you for sharing your story and I promise to help anyone who needs my support in times like these. My best wishes to you and everyone else who suffers through these unfortunate situations.

55 | Left by Kevin G | Aug. 4, 2011 at 6:42pm

Some people say they just stoppedbeing depressed but, we only dream that being possible. because do get what we have never had, we must do what we've never done, in other words to be able to be happy we must seek for help and surround ourselfves with people who understand TWLOHA!

56 | Left by Rachel | Aug. 8, 2011 at 3:08pm

Thank you for writing this. I am sitting here holding back tears because you have said everything I have been thinking since I was 8 years old; everything I had floating in my head but could never bring myself to say out loud. I was molested when I was young. I honestly don't even know when it started. I remember only as far back as when I was 8, and I remember the first day I knew something wasn't right with my life. Ever since that day it has been a struggle to figure out who I am, because of a choice that was made for me. I didn't cope well, and started cutting myself because i felt dirty, disgusting, and a reject... at 11 i felt this way. I know exactly where you are coming from, and its the same... that 99% of my family doesn't know... it would kill them to know that it was another family member that did this to me. Who I was forced to spend time with... even after I told my parents they called me a liar. It took until they heard HIM say it... and he killed himself because he didn't want to face jail time. He tore up my family in more ways then one, and left me feeling like it was all MY fault.

Just know that you have others out there who know where you are coming from, who know how you feel and that will be there for you when no one else gets it.

57 | Left by Becki | Aug. 9, 2011 at 9:18am

I understand what you mean about being afraid of being looked at differently. That is what has kept me from sharing my story with those around me. Luckily I found a guy who is now my best friend and I can trust him to talk to. He knows everything and it feels as though a heavy burden has been lifted from my shoulders. I'm so sorry for what you have gone through but I'm proud of you for being as brave and as strong as you are. Your words have helped me so much. This website has changed my life and the way that I look at things. To all of you beautiful people out there I say thank you. Thank you for being you. Thank you for caring. There is no greater feeling in the world than knowing that someone loves you and is there for you to listen when you need them.

58 | Left by Lindsay | Aug. 11, 2011 at 6:31pm

I completely cried when I read your blog, Chloe. And what you were thinking in the beginning of the depression after the assault, I thought I was the only one who also thought that. I haven't been sexually abused but that doesn't mean that I can relate to this story. I'm here with you and whoever reads this comment. Everyone has their story, but not all of them are bright and shiny.

59 | Left by Kristina Lyn | Aug. 13, 2011 at 12:48am

Chloe,
Well I am 13 years old and have been abused and raped by my own father for years now. i havent come out with it only because I havent known anybody who knows what to say. My parents finally got a divorse and my mother got remairried, my new stepfather has continued the pain that my real father gave me. I try to tell my mom but she never listens all she cares about is him.I am just a peice of dirt in her mind. I have never known what to do about it, every night I cut myself because I feel like the slits in my body do the crying for me. I'm not sure how else to cope wiht all the pain but you have inspired me to try and talk about my problems and deal with them in a more productive way.
thanks for your inspiration.

60 | Left by Anonymous | Aug. 25, 2011 at 1:56pm

reading things like this always makes me cry . you are so right . I have faced so much and i am still so young . i have faced depression , drug use , and other stuff . thanks for sharing the story !

61 | Left by Meredith | Aug. 27, 2011 at 7:29pm

I relate to this all to well, for me it was from when I was 8 till I was 11 and for a long time I never told anyone I suppressed it all through my teen years and would cry myself to sleep promising myself I would take this secret and my shame to my grave. I tried to live in denial that it did effect my love life my lack of trust in men, my complete lack of self esteem in general, I felt unworthy of anything.
Finally one drunk night at 23 I had the courage to say to my friend 'imagine the worst thing that could happen to an 8 year old, thats me'.
It was about 8 months after that I got help for what happened, my friend was always so supportive reminding me it wasn't my fault that I had nothing to be ashamed of.

When I walked into that councillors room that day I knew what I was going to do but when it came to saying the words out loud 'I was raped' my body took over I started sobbing, it was almost like I couldn't breath. For over ten years I told myself I would never tell a living soul and when I finally went to say the words my body went to war with my mind, a feeling like nothing else I could ever imagine.

Talking about it was amazing!!! For so long I was a victim and I was alive but not living. I gained courage to tell other friends, kind of an explanation to was I was the way I was sometimes. I haven't told my family yet but I know one day I will, for awhile I didn't want to tell them because I did want to put them though pain.
Now I'm trying everyday to make the world a better place, there are still days that are hard but I work through them. They say the way to change the world is through random acts of kinds, thats what remember everyday.
I have faith back in myself and in humanity.

Thank you so much for your story and for giving me a place to share mine.

62 | Left by Hopeful Soul | Oct. 9, 2011 at 9:47pm

Your story hit home to me on so many levels. I wish you better on those days when it feels like it was just yesterday. And I smile with you on the days it feels like it was years before. Thank you for the hope youve inspired in those who have gone through the same thing as you 9although it could never be exactly the same)
Lots of

63 | Left by His Beautiful BabyDoll | Oct. 14, 2011 at 11:42am