This summer is when my eating disorder started, I didn't recognize it at first. I just didn't enjoy eating. Then I realized how unhealthy it was, I told friends and they said the same thing, yet I continued with it. I have gotten a lot better, but it's always there in the back of my mind. Just recently I had to write a paper about eating disorders and at first it was...very painful. It brought back memories, thoughts , and urges. But I desperately tried to stay strong, and I did. So when I saw this blog I had to read it, and you are very inspiring. You make me want to do better and self-care, you make me want to care about myself and what I'm doing to my body. Thank you so much, for hope and inspiration.

1 | Left by Sam | Feb. 29, 2012 at 4:00pm

I struggled for 4 years (all through high school) with an eating disorder. I never told anyone about it, until very recently, when I told a close friend. I just didn't enjoy eating, and slowly I ate less & less, until I was eating just enough to stay out of a hospital. My family and friends didn't notice, as I was really good at hiding it and making excuses why I didn't eat. It's still something in the back of my mind, and I think it's always going to be there. You guys at TWLOHA have helped me so much! Thank you for all that you do!

2 | Left by Anonymous | Feb. 29, 2012 at 4:07pm

I've struggled with an eating disorder but I would just brush aside anyone who said anything. It wasn't important to me because I didn't like to think I had one. It was hard but eventually I broke and had to admit that I did have one. I've recently learned that many people I know have them too. It's so unreal that so many people allow this to dominate their lives. It's scary and dangerous. I just hope we can find a way to overcome it. It will forever be a struggle for me to eat when I need to and for many people I know.

3 | Left by Anon | Feb. 29, 2012 at 6:29pm

I have struggled with my eating disorder since I was 10 years old. It has just recently come to the light of my friends and family and I am slowing beginning the steps towards recovery. It's not going so well as of right now, but I am confident that I can push through this, and I hope one day I will be able to say the words "I am I recovered bulimic." I know my eating disorder will always be with me, in the back of mind mind, or god forbid, in relapse, but I will not let the scale, or my weight, my body, or my ED be what defines me anymore. Thank you so much for being such an inspiration!!

4 | Left by Anonymous | Feb. 29, 2012 at 7:18pm

My name is Sara and I dealt with anorexia when I was around 12 years old. I did not notice it at first, my friends parents did. They became worried, and contacted my parents. I was not eating much, very very little. I was starving my self for a boy. Starving my self for love... Everyone, my family, friends, teachers, became worried. Many of them confronted me about it, and after a while I started to listen. No one should EVER starve themselves for someone else. No one should starve themselves period. Your body is precious, you should take care of it. I've now gained back those 25 pounds, 2 years later. I'm active in many sports and I'm doing great.

5 | Left by Sara | Mar. 1, 2012 at 4:37am

I struggled with an eating disorder for three years. Overcoming it was by far one of the toughest things that I've ever done but thanks to the support of my friends, family, and TWLOHA, I can now say that today, I'm no longer a slave to my eating disorder. I have the control that I strived for when I was struggling with my ED but instead of hurting myself I've learned to treat my body with the care that it deserves. Thank you TWLOHA for helping me through this and thank you for posting this story of hope, it means a lot to me to see other people overcoming their eating disorders as well.

6 | Left by Kailey | Mar. 1, 2012 at 9:38am

I have struggled, and am struggling with an ed. I've had mine for 5 years, since I was 10. My friends never had the same lunch as me, so they didn't know that I never really stepped foot in a cafeteria, I was normally in the library. When I switched classes, my lunch changed (I went from 1st lunch to 3rd lunch), and so I knew when I went to the library changed. Little did I know that my friends also had the 3rd lunch. After a while, one of them found out that I "hid" in the library during lunch. She told the others. They all knew that I didn't eat much, as I weigh 85 pds, and am 5 ft, 8 in. My friends dragged me to the counselor, who called my home. To my advantage that day, no one was at home. My friends made me go back the next day, and I passed out. I hadn't eaten since dinner the night before. My parents took me to the ER, then I was in the psych ward @ the local hospital. I got out a couple weeks ago, but still eat very little.

7 | Left by anon777 | Mar. 1, 2012 at 1:17pm

THere is hope! God delivered me from 5 years of anorexia and Bulimia and 4 years of cutting! He is always there for you. In the lonley nights when you cry out to Him he hears you! He will never leave you. Keep going and never give up! God does the impossible.
I may be weak but His Spirit's strong in me,
My flesh may fail but my God he NEVER will!
-Elevation Worship

8 | Left by Rachel | Mar. 1, 2012 at 1:38pm

Rachel, Thank you so much for your comment! God knows that I needed encouragement tonight.

9 | Left by Kat | Mar. 1, 2012 at 3:40pm

help.......not sure where else to post. don't struggle with ED but have been cutting and can't seem to stop.....i feel like such a failure ALL OF THE TIME and i'm sure these beautiful scars will keep reminding me of that over and over. :( i needed to cry out to someone who understands....

10 | Left by Hurting Tonight | Mar. 1, 2012 at 3:55pm

Dear Hurting Tonight,
I can say that I know how you feel. I haven't cut in a while, but the last few days I've felt like a failure and wondered if I can ever really quit forever. You aren't a failure. Those thoughts are lying to you. It's hard but eventually the light shines through again.

11 | Left by Anon | Mar. 1, 2012 at 5:27pm

i think the same thing applies, HT. you are not your scars. "you are not the sum of your past mistakes" you are so much more. open up to someone. it wont be easy but it can be so healing. crying with friends is more healing than crying alone.
you are loved.

12 | Left by Anon | Mar. 1, 2012 at 6:47pm

I have overcome my ED with support from my lovely girlfriend. Once I opened up to her I started my long journey down the road of recovery. The point is, I may not have the most amazing story as to how I overcame my ED, but I know that it is hard to beat it by yourself. I want everyone to know that I am here if you need to talk, I am not here to judge or to necessarily give advice, but I will listen. It may seem odd to tell a complete stranger your problems, but I care and I am here. Together we will over power the problem. Contact me if you would like to talk. I hope someone can find comfort in my words. I hope that everyone somehow gets help and can stop their ED, I feel so much happier and my life has gotten so much better, know that there are people who care and are willing to help.

13 | Left by Toby | Mar. 1, 2012 at 7:40pm

Dear Hurting Tonight,
As someone who struggled with anxiety for years and years, I know how hard it is to tell anyone how bad you feel. You may feel like a failure, but I promise that you are not. Wanting to talk, wanting to tell--that is exactly the opposite. You are beautiful, and brave, and strong. I believe in you, and I want you to know that you are not alone. It is so scary to ask for help, but telling someone--a guidance counselor, a clergyman, a parent, a teacher--can get you the help that you deserve. You are precious and you deserve to live a life with joy.

14 | Left by Tori | Mar. 2, 2012 at 7:14am

Thanks, everyone, for your support and encouragement. I did tell someone in my life yesterday. She wasn't repulsed or judgemental, she just responded with grace....not what I expected. Maybe speaking about it is the right thing.

15 | Left by Hurting Tonight | Mar. 2, 2012 at 7:48am

I first noticed my eating disorder in 6th grade. I'm now a Senior in HS. It's like a cycle... A cycle that only makes my depression worse and worse... Tons of people have tried helping me, but they haven't helped... It's to the point that I DON'T WANT help from anyone... This eating disorder has been taking over my life for almost 7 years... I'm trying to overcome it and I wouldn't be alive right now if it wasn't for TWLOHA.. Will anything get easier for me to handle? or is everything going to get worse... I feel so alone...

16 | Left by Makay | Mar. 2, 2012 at 7:45pm

.. I'm not entirely sure if i have an eating disorder.. But my parents and my boyfriend are always asking me if i ate, or what i ate. I just never seem very hungry. A small snack maybe 2 to 3 times a day is all i eat . I just gave birth in january to a beautiful healthy girl , while i was pregnant i ate three meals and snacks, but now, i dont feel like eating again. It was like i was only feeding the baby.. I also lost 2 pounds of my previous weight after i gave birth. i gained only 17 lbs while pregnant.. (i weighed 110lbs, then gained until 127lbs) my baby was 7lbs 9oz(bigger than expected) so i lost the 17 lbs i gained as soon as i had her, then i lost 2 extra pounds plus after the baby and im now anemic and taking iron pills 2 times a day.. Did i mention im only 17.. I think this "eating shortage" started when i was 15.. My mom keeps telling me my dad tells her he is worried but he wont say it to me.. Someone help please?

17 | Left by dissapointingEveryone | Mar. 4, 2012 at 11:35am

I am not far from finishing my treatment (hopefully being signed off Out-Patients in a month) though I know I'm not recovered. Yes, I am definitely better with eating, I know I have to eat and food is not as much of my enemy as I thought. But I still control everything, I am not ready to let everything go. But I am so much happier than before. Yes, there are bad days, but then there are good days, like last week when I went out with my family and had a 3 course meal. When I had birthday cake at my friends birthday. Things are difficult, but no-where near the hell I was in a year ago. Only a close friend knows, and sometimes I just feel like making a Facebook status and saying 'I HAVE AN ED." and getting it out there and not caring. Maybe during this week I will get round to telling people. Maybe I won't. But whatever happens, I know things are better now. Life is brighter.

18 | Left by Gee | Mar. 4, 2012 at 11:36am

I'm sixteen months into recovery from EDNOS and I can't even tell you how much my life has changed from the one ED gave me (pain, misery, hurt, abuse) to the one I am working on (friends, support, positivity, hope). To anyone out there who is afraid of seeking treatment for their eating disorder, you are not alone. You deserve to get better and live. No matter what your relationship with Ed is (binge. purge, starve, exercise...), he is still a manipulative bastard who takes away everything you have. I never thought I could recover but I am getting there. I want to tell you all a secret that ED never lets us believe: We are stronger than him.

19 | Left by MIchelle | Mar. 4, 2012 at 11:40am

eating disorders include overeating as well. not just NOT eating... those who use food for comfort. we're not disgusting, just hurting like you. food doesn't reject you or ignore you. but you can overcome it. as with all addictions and self hurt - reaching out to someone is the best way to cope. try to recognize your triggers and make a plan of escape. over-eaters you're not alone. you are loved too.

20 | Left by Anon | Mar. 4, 2012 at 12:10pm

This is excellent! Beautifully written and well worded. It felt good to read because I have friends struggling with this.

21 | Left by JennyL | Mar. 4, 2012 at 12:20pm

Wow, you are all so inspiring!! Keep hanging in there, and focus on your recovery and bettering yourself each day. I know it is so so hard, but it is possible to overcome and you will love yourself one day :) I wish every single one of you the best, please trust yourself that you are capable of getting through your issues. I can't wait for that day to come! Stay strong guys :)

22 | Left by Michelle | Mar. 4, 2012 at 3:06pm

I have always been the big girl. I remember growing up being abused as a child. I developed binge eating as a coping mechanism. I would eat and eat and eat. I couldn't stop. I remember crying because I couldn't stop. I was 7 years old eating a box of cereal, half gallons of ice cream, dinners at my house and friends' homes in the same night. My parents never noticed. Some years later, I developed other addictions: alcohol, sex, drugs... You name it I've had it. I cut and I have been struggling with all of this for over 20 years now. Luckily I have been working hard getting myself to a healthy stable weight and dealing with stress in more healthy ways. It's always going to be a struggle for me and I know it. But I truly feel that with help there is hope. We all do deserve to be happy. I'm beginning to feel what it's like for the first time in my 30 years on this earth. My wish and hope is that everyone learns that it is possible with support- much like what this community has brought to me.

23 | Left by understanding | Mar. 4, 2012 at 7:32pm

For almost five years I was in love with a friend of mine. Last March he surprised me by telling me that he had been secretly dating my older, prettier, skinnier sister. This broke me more than anyone knew. I quite literally developed a disorder over night, hardly eating for the following week. The following summer, Anorexia took over my life. Sometimes I feel so alone and unwanted. Completely worthless. I try to hold on, but between controlling my disorder and controlling my weight. Besides this I have been struggling with a cutting addiction for the last two years. Sometimes it seems like I'm one step away ending my life. But I know that it is not for me to decide when I die, but my Lord and Savior. Through him I will continue to fight for myself, for who I used to be, for who I will grow to be. I praise God for how far he has brought me, and pray that he will continue to work in my heart. I want to get better.

24 | Left by Marri | Mar. 5, 2012 at 3:24pm

I first read this a few weeks ago. Now I've come back and read some comments, and I'd like to share one. I am 18 years old and have struggled with an eating disorder for 3 years. In treatment last summer my eyes were opened to how many people are effected by this illness. I since relapsed, but now I am fighting again. Thank you for sharing your story - it gave me courage to share mine

25 | Left by BigBlueEyes | Mar. 5, 2012 at 8:11pm

I havent suffered from an eating disorder..atleast i dont think i do. Im just at the point where i need someone to talk to but really cant open up to anyone here about it. Ive told everything to one of my closest friends but shes not here so. I just dont know what to do because ive cut down to eating less and im a dancer so theres always pressure to be skinny, and i just feel...inadeuqate. I hate that im even thinking about purging or starving myself and im scared that im going to fall into it. Ive watched 3 of my friends suffer with anorexia and it scares me. But i just feel so guilty everytime i eat, andhave all these insecurities and thoughts and i just dont know how to deal with it. I just dont know how to even begin to tell anyone that im feeling this way. I want to lose weight even though i know its bad and know the consequences.

26 | Left by Someone | Mar. 7, 2012 at 10:31am

To anyone who just needs to talk:

alainespengler@yahoo.com

27 | Left by Alaine | Mar. 7, 2012 at 9:56pm

I've been struggling with EDs since I was 8. I've both dramatically reduced my eating and turning on it for comfort. When I relapsed when I was 14, my then-boyfriend got me out of it. When he left me, I felt like that's the only thing I had left of him: the ED in the back of my mind. I fraught against it till I thought it was gone, then I started to binge on food and use it as my support system. I pushed people away and just wanted to eat. After that ended, I was ED free for a few years. Now I can feel an Anorexia relapse coming, no matter how I try to stop it. I'm contrmplating checking myself into a hospital.

28 | Left by MKStars | Mar. 7, 2012 at 10:34pm

i don't personally have an ed, but two of my close friends have had them in the past. one struggled with both types, while the other had more mild anorexia. they are both recovered, but i'm still watching out for them to make sure that they stay healthy. what i think hurt them most wasn't their own desire to be thin, originally, but what other people said to them. words can heal, but they can also hurt. and i think that there's hope in them because they've managed to fight off something that dangerous. there's hope in that. just remember that you're beautiful, no matter what anyone else says.

29 | Left by anonjolras | Mar. 8, 2012 at 1:23pm

I'm one month free of purging. I know it's not a lot, but it's a baby step in the right direction. There are days when I still want to give up, but I have to think of why I stopped in the first place. My twloha chapter talked about eating disorders near the one month anniversary of my quitting.

30 | Left by lizard | Mar. 9, 2012 at 7:37am

I will not eat. I like being hungry, it shows me that I can be strong, that I can look like that. This weekend I strayed, but now I will go back. I will be beautiful. I don't need food, it will not get me there. When she says it's just a cry for attention she can't be more wrong. I just want to hide. When she lectures me on not eating right or excersizing enough and that's why I'm fat, I will not falter. She just drives me on. Though it hurts, I thank her for the motivation to keep going. I will be beautiful.

31 | Left by Cammie | Mar. 11, 2012 at 9:08pm

ED started for when I was 16 or 17, my mom and I had dieted together when I was 14 and again when I was 15, and she had shown me good habits, but when I was left to my own devices, I let it get out of control. It wasn't until NEDA week 2 years ago that I realized what I was doing was risky. I always associated ED with the extremes, and I didn't fit those cases in my eyes, but NEDA kind of shined a light on more than just the mainstream versions of ED for me. 8 months later, and after several short-lived attempts at stopping, I was able to keep with my longest stretch of recovery, 1 1/2 years now.

32 | Left by Tim | Mar. 11, 2012 at 11:37pm

Ive recently been struggling with something but I'm not sure if it's an eating disorder. I can feel myself slipping into anorexia or bulimia an I don't want that but I don't know how to stop it. I've reduced my calories to about 600 a day but still feel so so bad when ever I eat. I've purged twice but can't seem to keep it up as someone will find out. But I still hate how I look and hate that I'm still putting on weight and I hate it. I tried telling my friend about it and I did but I just lie and say I'm doing well with it all when inside its like I can't stop it or control it. But yeah. I just don't really know what to do. If anyone could help me or just give me any advice I'd be more than grateful.

33 | Left by Someone | Mar. 15, 2012 at 10:25am

Dear Someone,
Severely restricting your food intake is eating disorder behavior. You are beautiful, no matter what a number on a scale says! Your health is more important than your weight. My advice: stop now before it gets worse. The more you give in to ED, the more control it has over your life. It can and will get better, but you need to get help first. If you can't tell a friend, tell a parent, teacher, guidance counselor, pastor or someone who cares and will make sure you take care of yourself. Your life is precious and unique. You are worth so much more than that.

34 | Left by Emily | Mar. 17, 2012 at 6:10pm

Dear Emily, thank you. Really. I was scared that someone was gonna confirm that I had an eating disorder. But I guess I kinda knew that. I want to get help and want to tell someone but I don't even know how to bring it up to anyone. Yeah I told my friend and she's great but I don't know how much it's gonna help because I get home and just feel so alone with it all and I just slip back into it again. But I wanna fight this and don't want to let it take over my life. I just don't know how to stop it or say the words to anyone. I'm a dancer so theres always the pressure to be skinny. My twin sisters also slim, beautiful and I just feel like the twin that's not as skinny or pretty or whatever and I just yeah. It doesn't help. But I'm gonna try. Thank you.

35 | Left by Someone | Mar. 19, 2012 at 10:16am

I have been struggling with bulimia for 11 years now and to have so many people share what they are going through gives me hope to get better. I have been following TWLOHA since high school and this community is so helpful and loving I hope more people find this website and people who care.When I went to see TWLOHA members speak at UVA it really made me feel connected to everyone because we are all struggling and need people to talk to. I wish more people realized how beautiful they are and that having an eating disorder just makes situations worse. I would like to see a stop to all of the pro ana and mia websites giving tips on how to purge and starve yourselves. I wish there was more information on males with eating disorders too even tho I am a female I think it affects everyone.

36 | Left by Adrian | Mar. 26, 2012 at 7:26am

i had annerexia when i was 12 and recovered if anyone needs to tlk im hereeeeeee!!!!!!!!! :)

37 | Left by DevinNicole | Apr. 4, 2012 at 7:58am

I just don't know how I can fight against this thing, anorexia or whatever it is anymore.

38 | Left by Jade | Apr. 5, 2012 at 6:05am

im 13 and i dont like to eat. i dont eat much and my frriends are very concerned. i havn't admitted to myself that i may have a eating disorder and i try not to walk past a mirror and look at it in fear of what i may see. my parents were concerned but i have got better at hiding it from them and have acheived making them believe it all ok. i cant remember when i stopped eating as much but i dont feel happy when i am asked to eat. i have stryed to write a book on what i feel in hpoe of letting somebody rea it and express the way i feel that way. it is called we see numbers because when i do eat i see the amount of calories the food contains rather than the actual food. i know i have lost a lot of weight and have come down from a size 10 to a sze 6 in a matter of months. thanks for lwtting me write this. i feel a lot better after getting it all out.

39 | Left by somebody | Apr. 5, 2012 at 10:51am

Im 18 and im exactly the same as you somebody. I'm struggling with it too and what you've just written basically sums up what's going on with me. I don't know what to do either I be honest but I'm here if you want to talk about it or whatever.

40 | Left by Jade | Apr. 6, 2012 at 7:19am

hey jade its great to have somone to talk to who understands what im going through. my friends kinda think they know what its like but they dont really . i mean one of my best friends only problem is this guy wont talk to her( he cant even speak english) and this is supposed to be very depressing to her. sometimes i feel like saying ' u know what you have no idear about this stuff'

41 | Left by somebody | Apr. 6, 2012 at 12:53pm

Hey, im glad I can talk to someone about this too. And omg tell me about it, the same thing happens to me all the time. Have you tried talking to them about it or to anyone? Because from what I know if you just even mention something even without full on telling them everything, they might realise. I know that's what I'm probably gonna try but I guess we've both gotta start getting help or anything somewhere right?

42 | Left by Jade | Apr. 6, 2012 at 2:04pm

i agree, i suppose i cud just like sit them down and explain some of what i am feeling. i started writing about it in a diary and stuff and that made me feel better but i have nosy parents and my mum found my diary and you can imagine what a conversation we had about that cant you. wasn't good. she got me to see the school nurse and i told her what i tell everybody else. that i like the way i look and im not trying to change it. lies. and because i was in my school uniform she couldnt question my weight and sed that i was fine and did not need to see her. but i think mums getting suspicious again she wanted to weigh me today.

43 | Left by charlie aka somebody | Apr. 7, 2012 at 9:38am

I told my best friend some of what I'm feeling and I know that's definitely helped me so I think maybe you should tell at least one person that you know cares and will help you. But if your parents are worried then that shows they care. I was adamant to tell anyone an it took very thing I could to just mention it to my friend. I didn't tell her everything but it's a start. And I think you should do that. Like in steps you know? Because I'd we do this kind of together then slowly I think it'll get easier. I still struggle to eat everything on my plate and it's hard to look at myself in a mirror and not see fat but we both have to know that what we see is different to what very one else sees right? Just at least try to tell someone? It really is a start.

44 | Left by Jade | Apr. 7, 2012 at 2:07pm

thanx jade i have written a email to my best friend explaining some of what i am feeling. i have done this coz i cant tell her f2f because it is our easter holidays so i am not at school and she is in leeds at her dads house at the moment not in lancashire like me. i also think it will be easier to tell her via email because you dont have to face what she is thinking at the time she reads it. i think it is best for us to do this together and i am grateful that u are taking the time to talk to me
happy easter.

45 | Left by charlie | Apr. 8, 2012 at 5:26am

ive sent the email. i have directed her to this blog so she can see whatb i write and can understand that it is not just me but many girls and boys all ages that suffer and i have shown her that i am trying to stop. to improove to get better. maybe she can help the others undestand.

46 | Left by charlie | Apr. 8, 2012 at 5:41am

Youre welcome Charlie. That's really great that you've done that because trust me it helps to get it off your shoulders. Even if it's just through a blog or message or whatever. I know it's helping me so it'll do the same to you. Im glad I have you to talk to too because yeah if we do this together then I guess it'll get easier. I've seen 4 of my friends go trough anorexia and bulemia and I'm struggling to fight it too and its truly horrible but I know that having someone to help you through it no matter where they are in the world helps because even by taking that step to tell someone I know it's helped both of us. And I'll listen if you need to talk or just relate to skmeone because I know exactly what you're feeling. We've both gotta get help from somewhere right, so telling that one person is definitely a step in the right direction for both of us.

47 | Left by Jade | Apr. 8, 2012 at 8:29am

good im glad i can fially do the right thing. many people are always telling me to do something about it and they are normally totally different suggestions. im happy that somebody who knows exactly what im going through (and not just thinks they do ie shrinks) can tell me that i have taken a posotive step because then it is not only me doing it and we can test it out together to see if it works. then if it doesn't we can both chose something else to work on and t feels like together we can beat it.

48 | Left by charlie | Apr. 8, 2012 at 12:07pm

Im so glad too because you're totally right. And I'm sure any number of people on this site will be willing to help. I'm glad we can do this together because we're at the same kinda place but if its positive what you've just done, that's great because it has been for me. And yeah I agree totally. It's gonna be easier together for sure.

49 | Left by Jade | Apr. 8, 2012 at 2:32pm

good coz lets face it. it couldn't have got any harder.
i like that someone understands me and that they have similar idears to me.

50 | Left by charlie | Apr. 9, 2012 at 5:54am

Exactly. It's gonna get easier. Me too. It definitely helps havin this.

51 | Left by Jade | Apr. 9, 2012 at 6:23am

my friend got back to me on my email. she was sooooo understanding and sent me sbout a trillion kisses at the end. she id glad that i have somebody to talk to who is going through the same things but says that she is always avaliable aswell which was welcome. she told me about things she feels and that made it easier for me to open up aswell

52 | Left by charlie | Apr. 10, 2012 at 8:17am

Oh im so glad that she said that because it's really going to help you do much in getting better. It's really good that you have her now and that you can talk to her and she cares and can help you. I'm always gonna be here to listen if you ever want someone to talk to who's going through the same shot. But I'm glad you did that doll.

53 | Left by Jade | Apr. 11, 2012 at 1:19pm

good coz even though i can talk to her she doesnt understand fully wat i going thriough so sometimes she cant really help. but you can coz you know what it feels like all the time and understand the wanting to lose weight and be thin whereas oter people cant.

54 | Left by charlie | Apr. 12, 2012 at 3:35pm

Yeah I know how that is. But even though she might not fully understand like I do, she's still there to help and having her at least know about it will definitely help you I promise. And yeah I'm glad someone is here for me to talk to who knows as well.

55 | Left by Jade | Apr. 13, 2012 at 1:53am

its definatly harder for me in the school holidays coz i cant talk to my friends because i dont really see them and its hard to email one another immedieatly.

56 | Left by charlie | Apr. 14, 2012 at 12:59pm

I've been reading everybody's comments, and they give me hope, thank you. I am 18 and i've been going through an eating disorder for about 4 years. I have an amazing boyfriend, and i keep on hurting him because of my disorder, it is controlling my life, and i want it to stop. I tried to get help, but that didn't work, and i want to get help so that i can be better, and not worry about what i eat, and when. it's ruining my life. please help me. i dont want to be stuck in this, and it causes me to cut sometimes. i need help, i want to get help for myself, and my boyfriend, that I Love so much.

57 | Left by Blair | Apr. 15, 2012 at 9:03pm

I had suffered with depression for over 7 years 2 out of those 7 where spent cutting, and burning myself and for over 5 years with extreme bulimia, and alcohol abuse. 3 years into it i was discovered by my parents, but with no idea how to deal with it they just told me to stop and ignored it. I had told one friend only but she to did not know how to deal. I was alone and no one was stopping me it got severe over the years. And I couldn't stop, I loved the high it gave me the satisfaction of feeling pretty and skinny but that satisfaction would quickly disappear and the cycle would start over and over again. It became an addiction it became my life. And alcohol was another way to numb the pain of hating my self. With no one to help me I had to want to change myself, and after so many attempts and fails I had finally recovered it was hard and I only wish I had known about To Write Love on Her Arms when I was going through this. I think it would have helped me in so many ways. And for all that this program stands for and for everything it does thank you!

58 | Left by Jade | Apr. 26, 2012 at 9:12am

"I can only say that agbalaxy@gmail.com spell was the best help that I could have had during the most traumatic time I’ve ever had in my life. My boyfriend of 2 ½ years decided to call off our relationship. Everything that he said would happen did, his behaviour was like reading from your lips. In terms of insight into my own personality and the way that I behave it was invaluable and I really won’t make those mistakes again, ever. So thank you , I would certainly recommend this to anyone going through difficult times, it was fantastic, it gave me a plan, which in turn gave me hope and got my life back on track at the same time. This got me through the first few weeks and is still helping me now.He now does all of the things that he never used to do and I’m so less needy, I feel like all of the negative stuff that made me what I’d become have fallen away and I’m back to my real self again. brandy

59 | Left by brandy | May. 9, 2012 at 6:50pm

I started cutting a year ago. I didn't try to hide it at first, because nobody really noticed. Then, my manager at the deli where I worked asked me about the long slashes up my arms.
I have sort of brushed it aside continually since then, since it doesn't look professional, by wearing long sleeves, a coat or bracelets to hide the scars ~ even in hot weather.
Today, the store director called my family, from whom I am estranged, indicating that I was potentially a threat to my own life. I've never looked at cutting this way before.
It's humiliating, and now I'll probably stop. Even though I will always think my scars are beautiful.

60 | Left by Hope | May. 9, 2012 at 8:22pm

Eating disorders take over your body. They make you paranoid. You constantly worry about the way your body looks. You Constantly look in the mirror and you hate what you see. You wish you could be smaller. You look in the mirror and you see yourself as bigger than you really are.

I have had an eating disorder. I used to starve myself and sometimes when I did eat food, I would make myself throw it back up.

I had went to the dentist one day and the dentist asked me if I had made myself throw up because I had to many acidic cavities. I told him no. After we left the office, my mom asked me about it. I couldn't lie to her so I told her. She sat me down and she told me that I needed to stop. She drilled in my head that I had gotten to small in too short of time.

With my moms help I stopped throwing up. I still look in the mirror and say I am fat. I feel like it still. I try to eat more, but I still barely eat and it is hard, I still struggle with my weight and freak out every single day about my ody weight. I am 16 years old and I weigh 119 pounds. About to years ago, I weighed 150-160. It isn't easy, but every day seems to get a little easier. I am in recovery and I am still not completely sure if I can stop my disorder. But I am surely determined to try!!

61 | Left by Kailey | May. 10, 2012 at 6:12pm