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We are so excited to share a glimpse inside our most recent MOVE Community Conference held in a town called Downey, a half-hour east of downtown Los Angeles, CA. One of my favorite parts of running these conferences is getting to interact with the attendees and watch them grow and dream big dreams about being part of an honest community where healing conversations can occur when people around us are hurting. After we wrapped up MOVE Los Angeles, I received this email from one of our attendees, Alexis. Her words were so wonderful to read, and resonated in me. I am happy to share them with you now, in hopes that you'll be encouraged, and that you may also consider joining us at a MOVE conference in the future.
Applications are being accepted for MOVE Dallas through this Friday, November 19th. I hope you'll consider joining us. For more information and too apply, visit our website here.
With Hope,
Kaitlyn
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Road trips have always been pretty tough to get started in my family. No matter how much planning we do, something always manages to delay our departure and the MOVE Community Conference was no different. My sister, mom, and I didn’t hit the road until 2am Friday morning, much later than anticipated. I was trying my hardest to stay awake with my mom so she would have some company as we drove, but I was only able to last a few hours. At about 6am I woke back up as we were passing through Pasadena, and I was admiring the windmills as my mom called the rest of our family back home to make sure they were up and functioning for the day ahead. I could only hear my mom’s half of the conversation, but I assume my little sister asked something along the lines of, “Is the sun coming up yet?” and my mom responded, “Yeah, but it’s behind us, we’re still driving into the darkness.”
The more I thought about it, this seemed to describe the weekend ahead. I was about to enter a weekend-long conversation about depression, addiction, self-injury, and suicide, some really scary things that are kept in the darkness because we don’t know how to talk about them. But this weekend a group of strangers would walk into the darkness together and come out as friends.
The conversation started by addressing the stigmas attached to each of these issues and facing everything head on, but the common thread in all of the conversations were that people just want to know other people and be known in return. In my years of involvement with TWLOHA I’ve been aware of the organization’s strong belief in community and that people need other people. I have always strongly agreed with this belief, but it wasn’t until MOVE that I realized I wasn’t anywhere close to living this in my own life. I became caught in the cycle of shame, and despite my belief in TWLOHA, convinced by society that my problems didn’t matter and were not something that could be talked about. I was functioning just enough so that people didn’t ask questions. Sure I have people that I “know,” that I hang out with, and we share a few laughs, but it’s rarely anything more than that. I don’t know anything about their hopes and dreams or their fears, and they are no more aware of mine. And the saddest part is, is that I was totally content living this way. I had convinced myself that my life was just fine. I would always think to myself “What do you have to be depressed about? You’re going to school, you have a good job, and a wonderful family, and great friends,” but part of me knew that something was missing and after this weekend I realized that I had bought into almost every myth or stigma that we talked about at MOVE. I didn’t want to be a burden to others, or I didn’t feel like I deserved help, I got myself into this so I can get myself out. You name it and I’ve probably felt it and believed it about myself.
But after this weekend I am hopeful. I have learned that it’s ok not to be ok, and that I am not alone in my struggles, and like I’ve heard TWLOHA say so many times before, that rescue is possible. So today I made an appointment with a counselor, and I have plans to go to dinner with a friend and share these words in the hopes that we can walk through this darkness together. I am going to try to really listen and know the people around me, while also letting my walls down so that I can be known as well. I am excited for the days ahead, to continue learning and get the help that I need. I am excited to strive to build a community where these things can be talked about open and honestly and met with reality and compassion. Today I am excited to be alive and breathing, and I’m trying to really appreciate what that means, and learn to share my life with others. So thank you TWLOHA and the MOVE team for reminding me that we were never meant to go through this life alone.
Thanks again!
Alexis :)Posted in General by Chris Youngblood
Comments (10)
This is so encouraging. I'm going to Dallas conference after a long time of dreaming and this was a real encouragement to me
1 | Left by Anna | Nov. 17, 2010 at 1:56pm
I wish that there was an organization such as yours here in the UK. My brother recently took his own life when his world fell apart and he really needed someone to talk to. He hid everything that was going on in his life, he was about to move to America to marry his fiancee but 6 days before his moving date, he found out it was all a game and she had been leading him on for months. I am so proud of him for working so hard and giving someone such unconditional love, she was his angel but in the end she pushed him too far. After the tough life he had, he was looking forward to a great future with someone he adored, but now he's gone and nothing will bring him back.
Thank you for all the hard work that you do and for all of the support and encouragement that you give to people. You bring hope to peoples lives that they wouldnt usually have, and i hope you go from strength to strength. Emma xox
2 | Left by Emma | Nov. 18, 2010 at 9:22am
Emma,
I just wanted to send some love to you really. I also live in the UK, and I know that TWLOHA is primarily an American organisation, but it does extend to us! There's a section on the street team especially for us, and there are occasional meets and greets as well.
There are no words that cover how you must feel about your brother, but know that TWLOHA has a place for you if you want it. I hope you have the support systems you need, and feel free to post on the street team boards, just search for it :)
With hope.
xxxxxxxxx
3 | Left by Jen | Nov. 19, 2010 at 5:53pm
This is encouraging and beautiful to read. And so true. I've been thinking about this a lot lately: about finding accountability partners and people to walk through the darkness with. It's sooo very important.
4 | Left by Kendra | Nov. 20, 2010 at 7:35pm
TWLOHA is amazing. you've helped me over come the biggest decision of my life; wether or not i wanted to stay alive.for monthes i cut myself, badly. friends and family were extremly worried but i was so numb.i couldnt think. everynight i took a blade to my arms. i didnt know what to do.i started to drink heavy alcohal and take pain killers constantly. i always was depressed and tired. then in Febuary of this year my dear friend Joseph had commited suicide. that took such a toll on me. then a close, worried friend offered me a look at TWLOHA.com. i looked at all the inspirational stories and journals and listened to the music. and i realized something. to live life, i must live. i must strive forward in no matter what i do. i must make goals and persue them. i was so inspired by TWLOHA. now ive been off pills and alcohal for 6 monthes. and i havnt cut in 6 and a half monthes. i still think about Joseph and how is was to late to save him. but i know that now that TWLOHA is saving teens today and not watiting and taking the risk. i lived to see my 14th birthday which i did not think would happen. thank you so much TWLOHA! i wouldnt be here today persuing my life goals without you.thank you.. :,)
xoxoxo Jess
5 | Left by Jess :) | Nov. 22, 2010 at 5:17pm
TWLOHA & IMAlive have saved my life. The medications and therapy did nothing for me execept confuse and anger me. I still stuggle everyday. I have tried to stop cutting, but it isn't easy. I may have the scars of mental illness all over my body, but I am alive and happy to be alive; I have TWLOHA & IMAlive to thank.
thank you.
I am here today, living my life, because of you.
6 | Left by Kaitlyn | Nov. 23, 2010 at 9:33am
i just have 4 words. TWLOHA saved my life.
thank you:)
xoxoxoxoxo
olivia grace
7 | Left by Olivia | Nov. 29, 2010 at 3:16pm
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